Mina-san, Ohayou!
After releasing my filksong _Ranma_ (based on _Lola_ by The Kinks),
I said I was thinking of doing another one, based on the Hall &
Oates song _Maneater_. Well, here it is:
"Man, that Saotome guy got it all!"
Nabiki looked up. She was sitting on the lawn behind Fuurinkan
High, enjoying the all too short break, basking in the summer sun.
The speaker was a boy, situated a few feet to her left, with some
other boys, all of them a year below her.
"Yeah," answered one of his companions, "not only he's got Akane
all to himself, she even cooks for him."
Nabiki looked over at the focus of their attention. Akane was
sitting under a tree with Ranma, looking at him expectantly.
Ranma, on the other hand, was looking at what he held in his
hands: the lunch that Akane had prepared for him.
"Oh, I don't know..." said a third boy, cautiously, "that doesn't
have to be such a great thing."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow and looked closer at the boy. Ah, she
recognized him. She had once, on his insistence, provided him
with a sample of Akane's food - for a price, of course. She *had*
warned him, since Dead Men Don't Pay Bills, but he had ignored
her. She had found his stay in the hospital for the following
week a fitting enough punishment.
Nabiki pulled out her walkman and put on the headphones. The last
thing she heard was the first boy, saying, "That damn Saotome just
doesn't appreciate what he has got. No wonder she always hits
him." Then she pressed the 'play' button.
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A Ranma 1/2 Songfic,
Manbeater
-----------
(Sung to the tune of _Maneater_ by Hall & Oakes.)
------------------------------------------------------------
She offers you a meal;
There's no chance of appeal.
Nothing is new; She's often in this mood.
Watching and waiting.
Ooh, she's sitting with you, but your eyes are on her food.
So many have fought to get
what you have and now regret.
The girl is wild; Her hammer looms, gigantic in her grasp.
Spices that poison.
If you eat this all up,
you'll soon make your last gasp.
(O-oh, here she comes.)
Watch out, boy, she'll pound you flat.
(O-oh, here she comes.)
She's a manbeater.
(O-oh, here she comes.)
Watch out, boy, she'll pound you flat.
(O-oh, here she comes.)
She's a manbeater.
I wouldn't, if I were you.
I know what her food can do.
It's deadly, man; It could really kill you in the end.
Mind under mallet.
Ooh, the food is bad, but the hammer's in her hand!
(O-oh, here she comes.)
Watch out, boy, she'll pound you flat.
(O-oh, here she comes.)
She's a manbeater.
(O-oh, here she comes.)
Watch out, boy, she'll pound you flat.
(O-oh, here she comes.)
She's a manbeater.
Ooh,
O-oh, here she comes.
(Here she comes.)
Watch out, boy, she'll pound you flat.
Whoa, here she comes.
(Watch out.)
She's a manbeater.
O-oh, here she comes.
(She's a manbeater.)
Ooh, she'll pound you flat.
(O-oh, here she comes.)
Here she comes, she's a manbeater.
(O-oh, here she comes.)
(Watch out.)
She'll offer you a meal, ooh.
(O-oh, here she comes.)
Here she comes.
She's a manbeater.
(O-oh, here she comes.)
(She's a manbeater.)
The girl is wild, ooh.
(O-oh, here she comes.)
Here she comes.
Watch out, boy; watch out, boy.
(O-oh, here she comes.)
Oh, watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out.
(O-oh, here she comes.)
Yeah, yeah, she's a manbeater.
(O-oh here she comes.)
(She's a manbeater.)
She's watching and waiting, ooh.
(O-oh, here she comes.)
O-oh, she's a manbeater...
[fade out]
Well, that's it for today. I am thinking of doing some more in
future. The ones that I tentatively thought about include one about
Nabiki. I was thinking of two Cyndi Lauper tunes, for some
reason: _Money Changes Everything_ (rejected it again despite the
title) and _Girls Just Wanna Have Fun_ ("Girls Just Wanna Have
Yen" - but there are so damn few rhymes to "Yen"). Another one is
about Ryouga and will be based on one of my favourite songs of
all time: _Karla With a K_ by The Hooters ("Akari With Her Pigs"
or something like that). One that I'll definitely try is sung by
Akane to a classic Beach Boys tune (_Help me, Rhonda_): "Help me,
Ranma!"
If anyone would be so kind to supply me with the exact lyrics to
these songs, I would be *terribly* grateful.
I owe thanks to Zen and Robin Page for sending me the lyrics of
_Maneater_. Thank you, thank you, thank you...
Sebastian