On Thu, 10 Oct 1996 15:32:26 -0400 Tom Schauer wrote:
: Ranma 1/2: Runaway
Look! Up in the sky! :)
I liked it, this much is sure. What I wonder is whether you are
going to let it stand as it is, or if you want to continue this
(and, no, this is *not* one of those "where is the next part"
critiques).
Perhaps another story, written from Akane's perspective, would be
appropriate. And don't say "I wrote a story from Akane's
perspective already"! That one doesn't count (at least,
concerning this story). It's all up to you, though.
As to *this* story, I think you managed to convey Ranma's
emotional state pretty well with your prose. His hope- and
directionlessness came over pretty well. He *did* seem a bit more
rational and precalculating that usual, especially when he went to
the library to check out potential careers. But when he jumped
over the fireman at the burning house and grinned at the awed
reaction to his feat, I knew that this was the same old Ranma.
That showoff! :)
Sebastian