Subject: Re: [FFML] [FF][semi-lemon(?)] Ranma 1/2: Interpretations
From: Ben Kosse
Date: 10/25/1996, 4:59 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

It's amazing what six cups of coffee can do to one's mind
at 2:00 in the morning...  o.O
     Hmmm. How about 3 litres of Mountain Dew after absolutely no sleep?
Next week, I'll let you know.

Ryouga's Subconscious: Oh geez, not here again.  C'mon feet,
                      move somewhere else..  We have a bad
                      sense of direction, remember?  Please..
                      I don't want to get beat up again!
Ryouga's Stubborness: The feet are ours once more! Revenge!  
                     Revenge!
Ryouga's Subconscious: Ah, damn.  They finally got control
                      again.   *sigh* Can't avoid the
                      inevitable, I guess...
     I love that. "The minds of Hibiki Ryouga."

Ryouga's Subconscious: We don't really want to go in there.
                      C'mon, I hear Brazil is nice this 
                      time of year..
Ryouga's Stubborness: Revenge!  Revenge!
Ryouga's Subconscious: Man, these conversations really get
                      boring quick...
     ROTFL!

[Ryouga enters the Tendou household.  Kasumi is outside, 
doing the laundry.  She smiles.]
Kasumi: Hello Ryouga.  Are you here to play with Ranma
       again?
Kasumi's subconscious: Oh my, why can't he play with me
                      instead?  Mrowl!
Kasumi's Sense of Duty: But if he did that, the laundry
                       would *never* get done..  And 
                       what about dinner?
Kasumi's subconscious: Mmm  Mm.  I'll serve him up a 
                      meal..
Kasumi's Sense of Duty: But would mother approve?
Kasumi's subconscious: .....  Damn you.
     That was the absolute funniest part of the story. I was laughing
for about 5 mins. there.

Akane: Hello Ryouga.  Looking for Ranma?  [smiles 
      slyly.]  Or were you looking for me?
     I see problems in the future... :)

Ryouga's Stubborness: Revenge!  Revenge!  Re..  What?
Ryouga's Hormones: Bliss!!
Ryouga's Subconscious: No!!  Focus, dudes, focus!
Ryouga's Hormones: Bliss!!  
[Ryouga's nose starts to trickle blood.  He blushes, 
turning around quickly.]
Ryouga's Subconscious: Too late.
     HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! :)

Ryouga's Stubborness: He what?  Revenge!  Revenge!
Ryouga's Subconscious: Shut up!  This could be our chance!
     DOH!

Akane: Yes..  Along with a few other things, P-Chan...
     While necessary for the plot, come on now, would this really happen. :)

Ryouga's Subconscious: Ah, now would be a good time to 
                      leave feet...
     ROTFL!

Ryouga's Subconscious: She's not mad?  Hot diggety!
Ryouga's Hormones: She can tolerate us!  Score!
Akane: But don't get your hopes up..  Ryouga, I have
      to admit, I'm a lesbian.
Ryouga: What?
Ryouga's Subconscious: Damn!
Ryouga's Hormones: Ahh!  We're melting!!
     You know, this actually happened to a fiend of mine. Though with him,
I believe the order was: Hormones, Subconscious, Mouth.

Akane: That's all right too.  You see, he's bi..
      As a female.  But he's just not interested
      in either as a male.
      Ranma.... Ranma-chan.... Waitaminute. Rewind fanfic.... OK, reread.
Ranma....Ranma-chan.... But. B-But, Uh.. Never mind.

Ryouga's Subconscious: And he convinced her to 
                      spare us?  Don't take me
                      there, I do not want to
                      go!  In fact, that
                      door is open, we could just
                      walk right through it...
     HAHAHAHA!

[Ryouga starts backing away, towards the inviting
open door out of the dojo.  He backs right in to
Ranma-chan.]
Ranma-chan: Hello, Ryouga-kun...
[The scene fades out, just as Ryouga turns around,
bug-eyed, to face Ranma-chan.]                  
Ranma-chan: [as it fades to black] I've been waiting
           for this for a long time, Ryouga..
     NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! RUN AWAY EVERYONE! IT'S NOT...
wait. It is. Never mind. It's too late. Mental picture occurred already.
DAMN YOU!

[Moving upstairs, to Nabiki's bedroom.  Mikado is 
lying on the bed, chained up with some exotic-
looking devices.]
     When did this happen. Weren't we just dealing with a perverse Ranma-chan
and trapped Ryouga.

Mikado: This won't work you know.  I've already
       told you, I only kiss the women once, to
       make them happy.  In actuality, I only 
       want a nice man to settle down with.
     Not going here. No. It's not happening. To quote a certain fuzzy headed
arobics instructor/dietician "STOP THE INSANITY!"

Nabiki: [from off-screen]  I have ways of persuading
       people, Mikado dear..  Why do you think I 
       need so much money?
     And now it's explained.

Nabiki: Well, we'll see how set you are on men,
       Mikado-baby..  I'm going to show you just how
       extensive my collection is...
      RUNAWAYRUNAWAYRUNAWAYRUNAWAY!

Holy hannah this is turning out to be a lot sicker than
I imagined.  o.O  Maybe I should lay off the coffee for
a while..  Don't mind if it's incoherent.  At this 
moment, I am too..  :)
     That was absolutely sick and wrong. Just disgusting. Too damnably funny
as well.

And who knows?  If people actually like this idea, I had
some bad thoughts about Miss Hinako, and her REAL thoughts
on punishing students...  And Gokunsugi- those dang wax
and photo fetishes..  Soun and Genma!  And Kodachi...  
No.  I should stop right now.  The world is probably a
better place this way..
      Actually, I dare you to write another. Just keep it a few weeks apart
so as we get time to recover.
--
Ben Kosse bmk7411@cs.rit.edu
BGC Otaku and worshipper of the Red-Eyed Goddess. Member of ShAS.
Anime, RPG's, computers, poetry (read/write), music (listen/compose).
Author of the Bubblegum Crisis theme pack (see the homepage below).
Homepage with anime and other interests. (http://www.rit.edu/~bmk7411)