<cut to MON mailroom; Wyrm and Wyrm-chan are sorting their mail. Let's just
say that there's a HEAPING PILE of mail.>

Wyrm: (rummaging through three-story pile of mail) Lesse... Mechwarrior
Team Jyuusenkyo? Damn, this is old!

Wyrm-chan: (head emerging from the Mountain o' Mail) I tell ya, I'm NEVER
letting my mailbox get clogged again.

Wyrm: We promise that every year, Wyrm-chan... We never sort our mail
promptly. It just keeps piling up and piling up and piling up...

(Wyrm-chan smacks him, and immediately he goes out of his rut)

Wyrm: Anyway, we don't have anything particularly pressing now, do we?

Wyrm-chan: But which to choose...?

(They look at each other and nod their heads. The each dive for a piece of
mail, causing other letters to fly everywhere. Eventually, they both
emerge.)

Wyrm-chan: (reading) "You may already be a winner!" Drat! All I got was a
piece of junk mail. (tosses it into incinerator. It burns up quite nicely,
crackle, crackle, crackle!)

Wyrm: (Reads)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ranma Nibunnoichi - Gaijin in Nerima!                      [Warning : Satire]

Wyrm-chan: By Kun-chan, of course!

(Suddenly, the door explodes inward, filling the room with smoke. Coughing
slightly, Hentai-Wyrm steps in)

H-Wyrm: (beams) Did someone say "Kun-chan"?! (Wyrm and W-chan nod) Alright!
'Nuther lemon story by the Queen of Lemonfics Herself!

Wyrm-chan: (turning to audiance) If you haven't already guessed, Our hentai
aspect is a fan of Kun-chan.

H-Wyrm: You'd better believe it! I'd love to have her autograph and a good scr--

Wyrm: (blushing) NOT IN FRONT OF THE KIDDIES!!

H-Wyrm: (looking around) What kiddies?

(Wyrm did a compulsory bodyslid of Chibi-Usa in. "HEY!! I WAS TAKING A BATH!")

Wyrm: (Grabbing shoulders) THIS kiddie! (C-Usa glares at him. He quickly
bodyslides her back to where she was) So watch your language!

(Wyrm-chan and H-Wyrm bigsweat)

<snip>

Suddenly, she stopped and blinked.

There was a beautiful brunette, obviously foreign, wandering through the
garden towards the pool.

Ranma: Trish?

#include @bap SCENE_OF_UNIMAGININABLE_CARNAGE_TOO_HORRIBLE_TO_DEFINE

@bap(Ranma) !! Ranma gets the bejeezus beaten out of him/her.

**** The author picks up her rule book of Ranma fanfic writing.
**** <Rule #1 - Thou shalt not write thyself into thine own fanfic
****            lest it destroy thine good name and look like an
****            egotistical maniac in front of thine peers>
**** She pikus, blushes and rips up the page, "Oops."
**** The author then starts typing again.

**** 3 drinks if the author writes himself (herself) into the story as some
**** all-knowing wiz who solves everything

**** If any Japanese is used in the fanfic, 2 drinks

(MONForce quaffs down the appropriate amount of Ginger Ale)

She stood at about five foot six, and was rather petite but well formed.
Her musculature was compact and sleek, but her body was more curved than
even Hinako's adult form.  Her tresses of dark brown hair drifted around
her shoulders, framing her pretty face. Her deep brown, hypnotic eyes
drew Ranma's glance. Her smoldering gaze ran over him...

H-Wyrm: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Nurse!

Ranma felt her heart beat quicken, <She's ... a goddess.> But she managed

                                                 ^^^^^^^
(Wyrm takes out FFML membership card. Reading carfully on the back on rules
of conduct, he nods)

Wyrm: Yep, Resolution #464636613: "Caroline Seawright, AKA Kun-chan, is a
diety." It must be true then.

<snip>

And so the sparring began. Each of the new students moved with a fluid
grace, seeming to dance more than fight. Slowly, the new students began to
show what they were *really* capable of. Akane, sparring with Caroline, was
soon outclassed. Even Ranma seemed to be losing ground to his sparring
partners ...

Souun and Genma watched.

"I wonder if we can use them to get rid of Happousai?" wondered Souun, rather
amazed that people were actually beating Ranma, even in practise.

Ian: KAMEHAMEA-HA!

*FWOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!*

Wyrm-chan: Ian has gone bye-bye! Suggestions?

Wyrm: (blinks) Sorry, W-chan, I'm awed beyond capacity for rational thought.

Genma nodded, watching his son start to lose his temper, "I think that they
could do an adequate job, Tendou-kun."

Ranma suddenly punched at Chris with all of his strength and speed ... and
missed. Chris, who had ducked under the blow, pushed up, uppercutting the
Saotome boy. Ranma flew backwards, in an arc, and landed ... right on Akane.

Caroline blinked as now her sparring partner was underneath an unconscious
Ranma, in a rather compromising position. "Anou..."

Chris blushed, "Oops..."

H-Wyrm: DOITDOITDOITDOIT!!!

Wyrm: (BSlides a wet C-Usa in again) Not in front of the kid!

C-Usa: (pissed) Wyrm... Interrupt me one more time, and I'll have to get
out the garlic press Kun-chan lent me.

(Wyrm gulps and BSlides her back to the bath.)

<snip>

**** Another three sips for James... Tipsy yet?

All: (With a keg full of Ginger Ale) No.

H-Wyrm: Git to the sex already!

(Wyrm-chan mallets him)

<snip>

Ranma suddenly sat up and blushed deeply, "No, I gotta thing of Akane, she's
my iinazuke and all... so I can't do this! It's wrong..."

Caroline whispered, "Come over here..."

She was sitting on a couch that had suddenly appeared in the middle of the
doujou.

Wyrm: Where'd that Chesterfield Sofa come from?

Ford Prefect: (running in) Hurry! After that furnature! (runs out followed
by a guy wearing a bathrobe and a bone in his beard)

Ranma erked, "Why?!"

With a wicked grin, she whispered, "Because I asked you to?"

Ranma, looking rather confused, moved over to her, "Err?" But his body knew
what it wanted, even if his mind didn't... he stood before her. "What
now?" he asked, his brain starting to heat up.

Caroline smiled up at him as she reclined back on the couch, "What do you
think?"

H-Wyrm: (grin on face) YesyesyesyesyesyesYESYES!!

< >8 snip>

He sat down on the couch... She moved up to him and stroked his thigh. As
his body wanted one thing, his mind tried to regain control... failing
miserably, his brain started to smoke.

Caroline sat up and leaned closer to him, "Your brain is smoking..."

(Wyrm points to a "NO SMOKING" sign)

Wyrm-chan: (gets out a fully charged fire-extingusher) Hot time in the old
town tonight.

< >8 >

Ranma stared at the leg, "Did you just say something?"

Caroline smiled to herself and lifted the skirt (that she was suddenly dressed
in)

Wyrm-chan: Brought to you by SkirtSpace (tm)

Ranma blushed, "Um...are you trying to seduce me?"

All: (sarcastic) NAH!

Caroline smiles innocently into his blushing face, "Would I do that?"

Ranma just stammered.

Lifting the skirt higher, she bared enough skin for him to see whole her leg.
Slowly, she started to run her hand lightly against her inner thigh, "Mmm..."
Ranma gulped, not being able to take his eyes from the soft, smooth skin
that she was stroking...

H-Wyrm: (in rapture) ohyesohyesohyesohyesOHYES, KUN-CHAN! BRING ME TO ORGA--

(Wyrm-chan mallets him in the crotch. He screams and doubles over. Wyrm
curls up just looking at him)

Caroline mmmmed a little more and continued lightly stroking her soft skin,
sliding her hand up towards herself, driving Ranma's libido higher.

Ranma gulped again, "I don't thigh...think you should be doing this..."

Caroline lay back on the couch, moving her other leg onto his lap... lifting
the first one up into the air... her hand still stroking, "Sou ka?" Her skirt
fell down to rest around her hips ... hiding everything but her long, sexy
legs... She slid her hands up and down that leg, slowly, watching Ranma as
he watch her... she licked her lips slowly...

H-Wyrm: YES?

Swallowing hard, Ranma moaned, "Caroline..."

H-Wyrm: YEEEEESSSS?

Caroline mmmms, "Ranma..."

H-Wyrm: (drooling) Ohhhhh BABY!!

Caroline lowered her leg, and slowly raised the other one... her skirt moved
just enough so that Ranma caught a glimpse of her panties. She smiled to
herself, her hand running up to her stomach, then up and over her breasts,
her eyes still gauging his reaction. When he was ready for a little more, she
reached up and undid the very top button of her top, exposing a little more
of her cleavage... Ranma gulped again, staring...

Ranma moaned again, "I...I should go..." But he knew he wouldn't leave.

H-Wyrm: THEY'RE GONNA DOIT!

Caroline smiled again and undid the second button... lowering her leg to rub
it against his... She whispered softly, "You should stay..."

Ranma whimpered, unable to stop staring at her, "Th-this is wrong... What a..
about A-Akane..."

H-Wyrm: THEYREREALLYGONNADOIT!

Caroline smiled and undid the third button, exposing her soft breasts, but
still covering her nipples ... all he could see were the rounded curves,
"It's right..."

Ranma's mouth flapped, "...."

Caroline slid her leg a little sideways... and nudged the bulge in his
pants... "Mmm... you want me ... I want you ... it's right..." She stroked a
hand over one of her breasts, and smiles up at him...

He was rendered speechless ... unable to think any more... he just wanted
her.

Caroline sat up and straddled his lap, sliding her arms around his neck. She
kissed his ear, and felt him trembling beneath her. Leaning against him, she
pressed her torso lightly against his .... her partly covered breasts gently
pressing against his chest... Gazing into his eyes, she knew he was ready.
She pulled him back with her, onto the couch... His lips met hers and they
started kissing ... his hands moved over her, stripping her and himself...

H-Wyrm: (in Absolut (r) rapture) SEX-SCENE!!!

And they made passionate love on the couch, in the middle of the doujou.

H-Wyrm: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Collapses sobbing.)

<BIG >8 >

A few of the people looked like they were twins or triplettes.

(Wyrm-chan and H-Wyrm look at each other)

W-chan & H-Wyrm: Is it Family Wyrm?!

One of his triplets sighed, "Jason to Enterprise, time to beam --"

W-chan and H-Wyrm: Guess not.

She wondered if she would have a boy or a girl...

She had kittens.

All: MWAAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Great, Kun-chan! ^_^

                           ---------------------
-wyrm/dm(AKA Tom Jefferys; Time Lord for Hire, "Have TARDIS; Will Travel.")
<wyrm@mail.utexas.edu>                       <JEFFERYSTR@rascal.guilford.edu>
Member of the AFSS          Depraived Kawaii Thing of the First Order, Martin
   =<SIG>= Wyrm-chan @_@ H-Wyrm @_@ Ten @_@ Chibi-Usa @_@ Azusa =</SIG>=
=<^_^>= R1/2#_#BGC#_#Sailor Moon#_#Dr Who#_#Star Trek#_#Monty Python =</^_^>=

   Currently operating at <wyrm@middle.of.nowhere.void> for the time being

"DINSDALE!!!" -Spiny Norman
****************************************************************************
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