Ooh, I LIKE it! It's depressing as hell, but it's good!

Hang on... I'm actually going to attempt some serious C&C here... gotta
let my brain warm up a little first... kids, don't try this at home!

     But Ukyo just couldn't bring herself to go out on a vendetta
against Akane like Shampoo and Kodachi do.  She just was not that
kind of person to repeatedly attempt to injure or kill Akane.  She and
her were.....friends.  Of a sort.  It was only the issue of who gets
Ranchan first that divides them.  Otherwise, Ukyo would surely
consider Akane as one of her best friends.  Not that she had very
many.  After she left her home village to train as an okonomiyaki
chef, she had dressed as a boy.  That had, in fact, cut off her ties to
any social standing.  She couldn't associate with the girls because she
couldn't go on a relationship with them, and she couldn't hang around
with the guys or else they would find out her secret.

You've messed up a little on the tense here, and I think in a few other
places.

     She locked the door behind her, undressed and began to shower. 
She felt the stream of hot water running through her hair and down
her body and she sighed in pleasure.  It always felt good taking a hot
shower after a long day.  She finished in short order, dried herself off
and exited the bathroom, feeling like a new woman.  

After this you say that Ukyo was wearing pyjamas, but you never say when
she puts them on. In fact, if you take this paragraph literally, she
exited the bathroom _naked_ (I could see that for Shampoo or Kodachi
maybe...)

Rats. All I could come up with for C&C were stupid little nitpicking
things. I honestly can't think of a way to improve this fic, you've
obviously got a better handle on Ukyo's personality than most (namely,
ME). Write more!

Must...

Write...

MORE...

(If people like you and Marissa keep cranking out fics like this, hacks
like me are never gonna get up enough nerve to write Ranma fics! Which
isn't necessarily a bad thing, since we'll be forced to write OTHER fics
;p)

The Prime Saggitarian,
Alpha Centauri

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