This was very funny.  One nitpick:

Slowly, laboriously, the words "Door-bell" pushed it's way

This should be either, the words "Door-bell" pushed their way, or, the
word "Door-bell" pushed its way (notice no apostrophe).

If I might make a suggestion for an alternate ending:  if you could
somehow find a way for Kasumi to obliviously save Nabiki, that would be
great.

Still, as written, it's a chucklefest.

Oh, and about my Kasumi being different from your Kasumi:  let me
introduce you to my friend Skuld.  "Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedah!"

^_^

-Richard
sterman@sprynet.com