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From: Scriviner <ebon@i-manila.com.ph>
Subject: [FFML] That's 1/2 My Goddess Part V...
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Date: Tue, 22 Oct 1996 22:16:27 GMT
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>From the Scrivner:
Finally got this posted. I hope you enjoy it. C&C is very welcome. I
want C&C!
Anyone who'd like to have the first four parts is welcome to send me
a message, I'll be more than happy to send it to you.
As a side note, I've got a couple of stories I'm planning on
writing, but I can't decide which one to start first with (largely because
I'm an indecisive fool and also because I'm rather equally attached to all
of them), so I've decided to leave the choice to you folks. :)
I'll be posting several scenes from each of my planned stories along
with the basic premise for each. Then I'll see which one people would most
like to see done first. Who knows? It might actually work... Aheh.
--=====================_846058999==_
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That=92s =BD My Goddess Part 5/9
(Sore Wa Nibunoichi Megami-sama)
by The Scriviner (ebon@i-manila.com.ph)
PART V: Of Baneful Food and Loving Thoughts.
Ranma never was much of an early riser when he could get away with it.=
Fortunately for him=20
Akane was. The three of them had stayed up late the night before, mostly=
just getting settled in and=20
discussing plans about what to do with poor Ryoga and Ukyou... not much was=
resolved of course,=20
especially after Ranko turned Ranma into a girl and the entire discussion=
degenerated into another=20
shouting match...
Akane opened the door to Ranma's bedroom and tsked to herself at its state.=
Admittedly, between=20
the three of them, Ranma had the most in the way of personal belongings and=
they did only just move in=20
the day before, it was still no excuse for the mess she saw. It took her a=
moment to pick her way through=20
the scattered clothes (both clean and dirty), training gear, and textbooks=
(a good many of which had yet to=20
be opened she noted with some amusement).
She paused a moment standing over his futon and smiled down at Ranma's=
sleeping form. He=20
only wore boxer shorts and a tanktop to bed, and much as it embarrassed her,=
she did like it when he wore=20
that around the house. I mean its not really as if he's got anything to hide=
from me, she thought with a=20
giggle, I've seen him in less...
She knelt next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, giving him a slight=
shake, "It's Monday=20
morning, Ranma. Wake up."
Ranma turned over in his sleep murmuring vaguely, "I... take... to be my=
lawfully wedded..."
Akane gave a sigh of exasperation and shook him more vigorously, "C'mon,=
hurry up, I've got=20
breakfast ready..." her brow furrowed for a moment as she caught what he was=
muttering in his sleep. "A=20
wedding? He's dreaming about a wedding?" she thought slightly surprised.
She was even more surprised as Ranma suddenly reached up and pulled her to=
him...
Ranma was indeed dreaming of a wedding... he hadn't gotten a very clear=
image of who the bride=20
was, just that someone was rushing them through the ceremony because=
something bad was coming... but=20
the priest, a man with a mustache and long hair, had just said you man now=
kiss the bride and that's what=20
he intended to do. He reached for the bride and lifted her veil catching=
only the briefest glimpse of=20
woman's eyes as he drew her close... whereupon she suddenly smashed him on=
the head with a large and=20
very familiar looking mallet...
That was the sort of thing which would shock anyone to full consciousness.=
Ranma shook his=20
head a few times to clear it as he looked up at a very flustered and angry=
Akane. She held her huge=20
hammer in both hands and glowered at Ranma, a slight aura of energy was=
beginning to play around her=20
body.
"What did you do that for?!" asked Ranma blearily. He was not at his best=
during the mornings.=20
Especially not until he'd had breakfast...
"And what may I ask were you trying to do?!" she asked in a tight angry=
voice.
"I wasn't trying to do anything! I was just sleeping here!" retorted Ranma,=
picking himself up off=20
the futon.
"You tried to take advantage of me, you lech!" shouted Akane, "Everything=
they said about you=20
was true, wasn't it!?!"
"Tried to take advantage of you!? Why the heck would I want to do that, you=
stupid tomboy?!"
"You were pretending to be asleep so you could grab me and try to kiss me!"=
Akane shot back,=20
her face burning out of embarrassment and anger.
"I did not!" Ranma replied, shocked.
"Did so!"
"Would you two keep it down, I'm still trying to get some sleep here..."=
said a rather dishevelled=20
looking Ranko from the door, "I swear this is so juvenile, I could hear you=
two arguing all the way on the=20
other side of the temple."
Ranma and Akane turned on Ranko at the same time, "Stay out of this!"
Ranma, of course, paused momentarily on seeing Ranko. She was wearing a=
very sheer=20
nightgown which left so little to the imagination, she may as well have been=
naked. Ranko paused a=20
moment to stretch and Ranma's eyes couldn't help but follow as some parts=
went up... and others went that=20
way... Akane got a murderous look in her eyes as she tightened her grip on=
her hammer.
"Ranko. Get out! This is a private conversation!" said Akane, furious.
Ranma realized that he was staring and somehow, quite possibly by sheer=
willpower, he was able=20
to tear his gaze from Ranko. He did his best to appreciate the view outside=
his window, which while less=20
interesting than the one at his door, was considerably less dangerous.
Ranko raised an eyebrow and quietly backed out, closing the door behind=
her. She decided that if=20
they wanted to spend the whole morning arguing this was good too. This was=
their first major argument in=20
a week... with luck this would be the one that broke them up. At the very=
least if they kept this up, she'd=20
have dibs on the bathroom...
Ranko came into the dining room to find Akane setting the plates on the=
table. There was=20
something very odd in the room which Ranko felt immediately, but she=
couldn't quite figure out what was=20
wrong precisely... a curious scent in the air perhaps...
It didn't take a goddess to see that Akane was quite upset and was largely=
slamming the dishes=20
onto the table, causing their contents to jump or every so often spill. The=
fact that most of the dishes were=20
shatter proof could've been taken as either luck or foresight on the part of=
Ranma for buying them.
Akane glowered at Ranko, "Don't you have any shame? Put something on!"
Ranko glanced down at the short terrycloth robe which was all she was=
wearing and struck a=20
pose, "What do I have to be ashamed about Hammer girl? I've got a great=
figure," she made a dismissive=20
gesture in Akane's direction, "But what would you know about that? You=
haven't got one..."
Akane glanced involuntarily down at her own clothes. She was wearing an old=
pair of Ukyou's=20
slacks and one of Ranma's Chinese shirts, "Oh, shut up."
Ranko decided to test the waters, "If you keep wearing masculine clothes=
like that, how is Ranma=20
supposed to find you sexy?"
Akane muttered under her breath, "What do I care whether or not that stupid=
jerk thinks I'm=20
sexy..." Not that it stopped him from grabbing me like that, she added=
mentally.=20
Ranko smiled lazily as she seated herself, "What did he do this time,=
Akane?"
Akane glared at Ranko, "None of your business, Ranko!"
Ranko raised an eyebrow, "My aren't we feeling bright and chipper this=
morning, hammer girl...=20
what did your lovey-poo do this time?"
"He is not my lovey-poo!" Akane replied angrily, rather disgusted at the=
term...
"Your darling fiance, then?" asked Ranko innocently.
"Not that either, he's just a stupid mortal jerk!"
Ranko smiled, "Hey, I knew you'd see it my way. Are we ready to leave yet?"
Akane's face clouded over in surprise, "Leave? What do you mean leave?"
"He's just an idiot right? So just tell the jerk off, I figure he's pissed=
at you too, he'll let you leave=20
and bang! We'll be back in Heaven in time for one of your sister's famous=
dinners!" Ranko replied=20
brightly.
"Um... I don't know, Ranko..." Akane said uncertainly, the thought of=
actually leaving Ranma for=20
good shocked her out of her angry mood, "I mean... it's not that bad... =
um... I mean, it's not like he tried=20
to grab me or something..." or he did, but I'm not telling you that, Akane=
added silently.
Ranko's perfect brow furrowed, "What DID he do?"
I don't understand what I'm so upset about, thought Akane as she calmed=
down some more. She=20
gave Ranko an even stare, "I told you. None of your business."
Akane added to herself, I mean its not like he did something really bad...=
I was kind of hoping=20
he'd do that... she sighed, I just wish he hadn't surprised me like that,=
though...
Ranko finally realized what had been bothering since she'd entered the=
dining room. She gave=20
another tentative sniff and glanced at what Akane was setting on the table.=
She asked Akane tentatively,=20
"Akane... did you... cook?"
Akane replied happily, "Yes. I thought Ranma might like a home cooked meal=
for a change."
Ranko nodded slowly as she watched some of the spilled food slowly eat=
through the table, "Yes.=20
He probably would at that..." No telling what he'll change into if he eats=
that, she thought with a=20
suppressed giggle.=20
"Give me a moment," said Ranko as she stood up suddenly. She returned to=
the table a few=20
moments later with a cup of hastily prepared instant ramen.=20
Akane looked at Ranko strangely, "What's that for? I made plenty for all of=
us."
Ranko smiled sweetly at Akane, "Oh, none for me thanks. Besides... you know=
Ranma's appetite.=20
You made it for him didn't you? I'll let him enjoy it."
"Okay," Akane replied doubtfully.
Ranma arrived at the table still toweling his hair. He was wearing another=
tanktop and the loose=20
Chinese pants he preferred. He was still somewhat grumpy but his expression=
softened as he noticed=20
Akane now seemed to be more cheerful.
"Um... Akane... about earlier..." Ranma started tentatively.
Akane cut him off, "Oh, don't worry about it. I shouldn't have gotten so=
upset, it probably was a=20
misunderstanding..."
"Um... its sort of difficult to have a misunderstanding about something=
like..."
Akane smiled pleasantly, "Let's just forget it happened, okay?"
"Er... Yeah. Okay. I guess..." he replied relaxing somewhat, but still=
quite uncertain as to what=20
DID happen.
Ranko raised an eyebrow but kept quiet and let the two talk.
He glanced down at the table and got a surprised look on his face, "Akane?=
What's all this?"
"Akane made breakfast for you. All by herself. Wasn't that sweet of her?"=
Ranko said in her silky=20
voice.
Ranma's face brightened, "Really, Akane?"=20
Akane smiled back at Ranma, "Yeah. Eating nothing but cup ramen isn't good=
for you."
"Thanks for the concern..." but his smile faltered as he got a second look=
at the offerings. None of=20
the dishes looked particularly presentable. Or palatable for that matter. Or=
even edible in some cases...
Akane failed to notice his expression as she brought the rice cooker closer=
to the table, "I haven't=20
cooked for anyone in a while, so I hope you like it."
"Oh... okay," said Ranma with a slight sinking sensation. The last time=
he'd eaten anything that=20
looked even remotely like this was when one of his cullinarily challenged=
fans made him lunch... he ended=20
up staying in the hospital for a month. Somehow Akane's cooking seemed to=
promise even worse than=20
that. The food sat in its bowl radiating a certain low grade menace... If it=
was possible for a meal to glower=20
at someone, this meal was doing just that.
Ranma glanced at Ranko, "Why are you eating instant ramen? Don't you want=
any?"
Ranko favored Ranma with a silky smile, "Oh, but your dear, dear Akane made=
this for you=20
Ranma. It wouldn't be right if I ate any of it."
Akane rolled her eyes, "Ranma, don't listen to her. She's in another of her=
moods."
Ranma sat down apprehensively, but hunger overcame suspicion as he spooned=
what could only=20
be loosely be identified as 'chunks' of food over his rice.=20
"It smells... interesting, Akane-chan," said Ranma eyeing the breakfast.
"Eat up, there's plenty," Akane said offering a few pieces of what might=
have been an omelet but=20
only Kami-sama knew for sure.
Ranma couldn't help but smile at Akane's happy expression, "Well... you=
made it Akane-chan,=20
I'm sure it'll be good."
Ranko avoided sniggering at him only by slurping up a few more noodles.
Akane handed Ranma a pair of chopsticks and she apprehensively watched as=
Ranma ate her=20
cooking. He bit through the chopsticks at his first mouthful. Akane blinked=
at him as his face turned=20
pale... then slightly green... then purple... before he managed to make a=
convulsive swallow, chopsticks=20
bits and all.
Ranma stood up suddenly and said in a strained voice, "That was great,=
Akane. I've got to get=20
going... I might be late getting to class!" before he dashed off.
Akane called after him, "But you're classes won't be for another hour!"
Ranko was fighting to keep from laughing as she said, "Incidentally,=
Akane... do you ever taste=20
your own cooking?"
"No. Why?" Akane replied, slightly confused, "Should I?"
Ranko shook her head, and noted sagely, "No... true gourmets never taste=
their own dishes. You'd=20
better save it, though, he might want some for tonight. Or better yet,"=
Ranko added brightly, as a thought=20
occurred to her, "Make him a proper feast! To apologize for fighting with=
him. Peace offering and all=20
that."
Akane looked suspiciously at her, "Do you think that would work?"
Ranko nodded, "It'll be perfect! There's an old saying that the way to a=
man's heart is through his=20
stomach, so show him your love by making him a good meal!"
Akane blushed slightly, "Ranko!"
"Trust me! I'm the Goddess of Affection! I know these things! It's=
guaranteed to work!"
Akane looked at Ranko suspiciously, "Why are you so helpful all of a=
sudden?"
Ranko said in tones laden with mock tragedy, "Woe is me, that my own family=
chooses to suspect=20
my good intentions!"
"That's because you don't have any good intentions, Ranko." Akane replied,=
exasperated.
Ranko sighed, "Aw, Akane... didn't it occur to you that I might be getting=
used to this place?=20
Besides... when you guys fight, it's a little tough for me to get any=
sleep."
"Okay..." Akane conceded, but still suspicious.
"I think I might actually be warming up a little to Saotome..." said Ranko=
sweetly.
"I suppose it's possible... but I still suspect something's up," she shot=
Ranko a suspicious look,=20
"'...warming up to him...' ?!"
"Not like that, Hammer girl! Why are you so jealous all the time?"
"I am not jealous!"
"So you say, but with a cutie like Ranma I can't really say I'm=
surprised... I mean with his=20
reputation with women and all..."
"You know he's not like that, Ranko!"
"Really?" Ranko asked in a bemused tone as Akane stormed off to put the=
largely untouched=20
breakfast away.
Ranko laughed lightly before turning back to her breakfast, doing her best=
to hide her=20
amusement. Akane's cooking was notorious throughout Heaven. Even the most=
powerful and hungry First=20
rank deities politely declined any offers of food made by Akane Tendo. Ranko=
knew this and was not=20
touching any food Akane had a hand in preparing with anything short of a ten=
foot pole. Even then, her=20
food might even try to eat the pole.=20
Ranko wondered idly if Ranma was okay... she knew it was cruel... perhaps=
even utterly heartless=20
and needlessly sadistic to force the mortal idiot to eat even more of=
Akane's cooking after he'd so narrowly=20
managed to avoid her attempt at breakfast... but all is fair in love and=
war, Saotome... And this was war. If=20
it takes something as loathsome as Akane's cooking to be rid of you and on=
my way home, then so be it!
Outside, Ranma managed to spit out most of the noxious mess that he'd=
swallowed before he=20
rinsed his mouth out with some water. His eyes were still watering and it=
was almost impossible to get the=20
hideous taste out of his mouth.
"No doubt about it," he muttered to himself as he staggered to the van,=
"She's still mad at me...=20
Otherwise she wouldn't try to poison me like that..."
"So where are you going, Akane?" Ranko asked as she watched her cousin put=
on one of Ranma's=20
coats.
"I've got some shopping to do. I need some things for dinner tonight,"=
Akane replied.
Ranko smiled, "You're taking my advice?"
"Yeah," Akane smiled back without realizing, "Once in a while, even you=
come up with a good=20
idea. I'm sure a nice home cooked dinner will be just the thing to make up=
for this morning's argument."
"It'll be fabulous, trust me. He's going to love you for it!" Ranko replied=
enthusiastically.
Akane shifted uneasily at Ranko's pleasant tone, "Are you feeling alright,=
Ranko? Its not normal=20
or you to be so nice."
Ranko replied with a mysterious grin in Akane's direction, noting to=
herself, I can afford to be=20
nice. Once Saotome gets a taste of that noxious concoction she'll be trying=
to pass off as dinner, we'll be=20
out of here so fast his head's going to spin.
"Take care then. There's all sorts of weirdoes out there, you know," said=
Ranko.
Akane left muttering, "Well, you would know."
The market was a comfortable walking distance from the temple and Akane=
thought she could=20
use the walk to clear her mind. She silently berated herself for hitting=
Ranma when she did... and reflected=20
that he was probably still upset at her.
She sighed. Her temper had gotten the best of her again. You shouldn't=
surprise a person like=20
that. If Ranma had tried to kiss her at another time, she mused, she=
probably would have let him. But first=20
thing in the morning and so suddenly at that... well he was dreaming, she=
conceded. About a wedding no=20
less, she blushed.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a voice, "Hey... Akane! Akane!"
Akane whirled around and saw a handsome man approaching her, waving=
enthusiastically. She=20
blinked and realized that it was actually Ukyou, "Oh. Hi, Ukyou," she said.
Ukyou smiled as she caught up with Akane, "You were really out of it,=
sugar. I've been calling=20
you for the past couple of minutes."
"Oh, sorry. I was just... thinking," Akane replied.
Ukyou nodded and gave her a knowing smile, "About Ranchan?"
Akane blushed, "No... of course not!" she replied with considerably more=
force than she'd=20
intended, "Okay. Maybe."
"Thought so..." Ukyou replied smugly, "Where are you headed?"
"The market. I have some shopping to do," Akane replied.
"No kidding," Ukyou said, "Me too. I need to get some more soba noodles and=
vegetables for the=20
restaurant and there's this really good place nearby."
Ukyou noticed Akane's distracted expression and wondered what was wrong...=
it probably did=20
have something to do with Ranma, she thought, may as well find out...
"Do you want some company?" Ukyou asked brightly.
Akane considered this for a minute... Ukyou was probably the best person to=
talk to about this.=20
After all, she was Ranma's best friend and knew him best. Akane smiled,=
"Sure, why not?"
Ranma walked into the Martial Arts Varsity Clubhouse for practice that=
afternoon. Mousse was=20
there and so was Shampoo, but that was to be expected. She rarely left his=
side, still being rather=20
uncomfortable in this new setting, and Mousse was very protective of his=
"little sister". Ryoga was there=20
as well, helping to train one of the new recruits. Most of the other members=
of the Varsity were late, but=20
this was the usual state of affairs. The coach ran a fairly loose ship.
Ranma was in a rather thoughtful mood. He was worried that Akane was still=
mad at him for=20
some reason. She claimed that he'd kissed her... which he didn't! He was=
sure! It's not like he was likely to=20
forget something like that... This was Akane, for goodness' sake! That was=
definitely not something he'd=20
forget about... He admitted to himself that he'd been wanting to kiss her=
for weeks now... the chance just=20
never quite came up. That and the fact that when a chance to do so did come=
up, he'd lose his nerve... It=20
was almost laughable. The two of them had been living quite closely for the=
past month and he hadn't=20
even been able to manage a peck on the cheek.=20
Unfortunately, he mused, it also looked like she wasn't too eager for him=
to do anything of the=20
sort. He was absolutely certain that he hadn't kissed her. Or tried to kiss=
her. Or laid in wait for her to=20
come to him unsuspecting so he could pounce on her. Well... he was mostly=
certain... he could've been=20
dreaming, he conceded, but he couldn't quite remember what he was dreaming=
about.
And then there was the other thing that was really worrying him... that the=
only reason she was=20
here at all was because of that stupid wish. He wasn't sure if she liked him=
or not. One minute she was=20
very sweet and understanding... the next she'd be a raving lunatic. He was=
half wishing that he'd never=20
made the wish in the first place, but stopped that train of thought...=
Because he did want Akane to be=20
around. Even if she didn't really like him. But another thought occurred to=
him as he realized that=20
maybe... just maybe... Akane was just as unhappy as Ranko was at being stuck=
on Earth with him... she=20
was probably just better at hiding it from him. That thought brought him no=
comfort at all... he considered=20
actually allowing the contracts to be broken... At the very least they'd be=
free to go back home, and he=20
wouldn't have to worry about Ranko trying to transform him ever again... but=
he didn't want her to leave.=20
If she'd only just tell him what she really wanted... he didn't know what=
that was... if he knew, life would=20
be so much simpler for all of them...
Not realizing what he was doing, Ranma suddenly clenched his hand into a=
fist and lashed out=20
blindly, shouting, "What the heck does she really want!?!"
He was rather surprised as he felt something solid connect with the end of=
his fist. Mousse who=20
was having a very interesting, if one sided, conversation with the coat rack=
(which he thought was=20
Shampoo), crumpled to the ground saying, "Whadjou do that for?"
"Um... Sorry about that Mousse..." said Ranma as he helped the Chinese=
martial artist up.=20
Mousse was somewhat stunned and he'd lost his glasses again, but was=
otherwise fine.
Ryoga paused his sparring session his pink-haired opponent and asked Ranma=
in jokingly,=20
"Trouble in paradise, Saotome?"
"Don't get started Ryoga," Ranma muttered under his breath.=20
Ryoga looked at him with some surprise and wisely decided to keep his mouth=
shut.
"I heard you moved out of Ucchan's last week." Ryoga said after a=
meaningful pause.
Ranma nodded absently and said, "Yeah. You'll be happy to learn that the=
girls and I have our=20
own place out in the suburbs now..."
Mousse muttered, "How do you do it, Saotome? What bizarre power do you have=
over women?"
Shampoo hit Mousse lightly on the arm, "Mousse-sempai just want to know so=
he can do it too!"
Ranma rolled his eyes, and replied sharply, "It's not my fault these things=
just happen to me,=20
okay?! I'm stuck with a stupid tomboy and her stupider cousin, and its not=
my fault!"
"Whatever," Ryoga replied awkwardly, before returning to his sparring=
session.
Ranma blushed and sought for something to change the conversation with, "Oh=
yeah, I nearly=20
forgot. I still have some stuff at the dorm, right? You guys said you'd send=
it to me once I had an address=20
to send it to."
Mousse, traded a myopic glance with Ryoga, "Erhm... stuff, Saotome?"
Ranma got a suspicious look in his eyes, "Yeah. My hot plate is still at=
the dorm. Along with my=20
TV, my VCR, the little fridge, my magazines, most of my clothes and about a=
dozen videos... You know.=20
My stuff."
Ryoga smiled sheepishly, "Oh... Yeah. That stuff..."
"What did you guys do with it?!" Ranma asked heatedly. The day had already=
begun badly... he=20
did not need this aggravation.
Mousse did his best to try and calm Ranma down, "There's no need to take=
that tone of voice with=20
us Saotome... we're all friends here..."
"I'll tell you we're still friends when I find out what you did to my=
stuff!" Ranma roared.
Shampoo put her hands on her hips and finally said, "Why you no tell,=
Saotome-sempai what you=20
do? Shampoo thought you say is okay with Saotome-sempai!"
Ranma looked at Shampoo, "What? What did these two do this time?"
"They put Saotome-sempai's things for auction so Martial Arts Varsity=
Clubhouse have new=20
windows," she gestured broadly, "See? Is nice windows. They say you no mind.=
You no mind, Saotome-
sempai, yes?"
Shampoo could see the expression on Ranma's face and the faint reddish=
nimbus of energy=20
surrounding him. She considered these and quickly got out of his way,=
"Because if Saotome-sempai=20
mind... Shampoo just want you to know Mousse no have anything to do with it.=
It all Hibiki-sempai=20
fault..."
Ryoga made a small choked sound, "Sha- Shampoo!"
"Saotome... you did break the windows kicking Kuno out the last time..."=
Mousse said lamely.
Ranma cracked his knuckles and walked purposefully towards Ryoga and=
Mousse, "Mind... why=20
would I mind..?"
Ryoga backed up slowly, laughing nervously, "So you don't mind?"
His laugh was cut off abruptly as the front of his shirt and Mousse's were=
suddenly grabbed and=20
lifted by a furious Ranma, "This has been a really, really rotten day.=
Before it ends I expect you two jerks=20
to have all of my stuff... and I do mean all of it, in front of my new home=
by tonight or I'm going to=20
redecorate both your faces, is that clear?!!!"
"Perfectly," said the surprised Ryoga.
"Um... Absolutely, Saotome," replied Mousse in a strangled tone.
The furious Ranma dropped the two on the training mat and stormed off=
without another word.
"Saotome-sempai! What about practice?" Shampoo called after Ranma, but he=
ignored her.
"He didn't take that as well as I thought he would," murmured Ryoga as he=
picked himself up.=20
And why was he glowing like that? He added silently.
Mousse shook his head slightly dazed, "How are we going to get all of=
Saotome's belongings=20
back? I don't even remember who we sold most of it to..."
"No worry, Mousse-sempai. Shampoo keep all receipts."
"We still can't get it back even if we do find the new owners!" moaned=
Ryoga, "The Martial Arts=20
Varsity coffers aren't exactly bursting..."
"Um... Ryoga," Mousse said, "Do you know where Saotome's new address is?"
"Er... no," after a pause Ryoga added, "But something tells me we'd better=
find out real quick."
"I agree," Mousse replied addressing a point about three inches to the left=
of Ryouga's ear, "I've=20
never seen him that mad before,"=20
Ryoga murmured, "Yeah. Not even after that time we rented him out to the=
Nekomi Fashion Club=20
to be their model..."
Shampoo helped Mousse up and meekly suggested, "Maybe he and Akane have=
fight?"
Ryoga and Mousse looked at one another, or actually Ryoga looked at Mousse=
and Mousse looked=20
in his general direction, , "You don't suppose..." started Mousse.
"...Akane left him?" Ryoga said finishing the thought.
As is standard in these matters, within moments rumor and speculation began=
to make the rounds=20
of the campus...
Ranma finally got home. Several dozen guys had pestered him about Akane, as=
he was leaving...=20
traffic was horrible... and to top it off, he realized belatedly that he'd=
left his bag back at the Clubhouse.=20
"I'm home," he called out as he shut the front door and prepared himself. A=
slender arm suddenly=20
lashed out and attempted to strike him on the chest. Ranma easily jumped=
straight up, jumping off the=20
doorway, and landed with a flip behind Ranko.
Ranko snapped her fingers and remarked casually, "Missed."
"Don't get started, Ranko. I'm not in the mood." Ranma snapped.
Ranko remarked wryly, "Don't worry, Saotome. Your darling fiance just=
cooked you up a=20
wonderful dinner... I'm sure that should cheer you up."
Ranma brightened up, "She did?" but his eyes narrowed again, "You know...=
now that I think=20
about it... you didn't happen to have anything to do with breakfast did you?=
I mean it certainly tasted like=20
something you'd do..."
The red headed goddess merely smiled innocently at him (no mean feat) and=
replied, "Saotome,=20
you know perfectly well I don't wake up that early..."=20
Ranma got a relieved look on his face. He was positive that she was=
probably lying to him again.=20
So it was Ranko... no one could possibly cook that bad except intentionally,=
he thought. Ranko could=20
positively feel the relief pouring from Saotome... she smirked to herself,=
Just wait until he tastes dinner...
"You didn't touch dinner did you?"=20
Ranko gestured to herself and fluttered her lashes at him, "Moi? Akane=
wouldn't even let me in=20
the kitchen. She said it was all a surprise for you..."
She opened the door and stepped outside, "Oh, by the way, Saotome. Don't=
wait up," she smiled=20
seductively at him, "I've got a date..."
Ranma nervously waved her off, "Er... okay. Enjoy yourself."
She turned and faced him a final time, "No, Ranma... you enjoy yourself,"=
she walked to the gate=20
laughing pleasantly at some joke only she understood...
Ranma blinked nervously and thought to himself, Now what did she mean by=
that?
A now familiar voice called to him from the kitchen, "Ranma? Is that you?"
"Yeah, Akane-chan."=20
She stepped out of the kitchen wiping her hands absently on her apron as=
she took it off. She=20
smiled at him and Ranma was momentarily stunned. The last time he'd seen=
Akane in a dress was when=20
they'd first met. Truth to tell, that was more of a uniform to Akane than a=
real dress, but still. Add to that=20
the fact that Ranma was too busy getting hammered to worry about what she=
was wearing... Since then,=20
based on their rather limited budget, Akane had mostly been wearing Ranma=
and Ukyou's old clothes...=20
Ranko was another matter entirely and Ranma often suspected that she just=
conjured her clothes as=20
necessary.=20
Akane was wearing a long powder blue skirt that reached a little past her=
knees and a white silk=20
blouse that suited her perfectly. The part that had really surprised him was=
what she'd done to her hair. It=20
was now quite short. Almost a pageboy cut. It looked absolutely great on=
her. Ranma's heart speeded up=20
involuntarily...
"Wha... wha... what did you do to your hair, Akane?!" he asked, dazed.
She smiled as she deliberately brushed a stray strand from her face, "Do=
you like it?"
Ranma gulped nervously, "Uh... it looks great."
"Thanks. Dinner's almost ready. Why don't you go wait in the dining room?"
"Um... yeah," he replied, not sure what else to say.
He walked almost by autopilot into their dining area. He was still in=
shock. Akane always was=20
cute... but now she looked positively devastating... he waited impatiently=
for her to come back. He=20
definitely wanted to see her again to make sure he hadn't dreamed it...
He sniffed curiously and realized that some truly wonderful scents were=
wafting in from the=20
kitchen. He thought to himself, Wow... it smells great... it definitely must=
have been Ranko sabotaging=20
Akane's breakfast... I wonder how she didn't notice.=20
Akane walked in cheerfully holding a smoking bowl, "It's your favorite,=
Ranma. Curry."
"Wow. Thanks," Ranma replied happily, not knowing what else to say. He was=
having trouble=20
tearing his eyes away from Akane and murmurred, "You look really great..."
"Thanks," Akane blushed,
"Well, eat up, Ranma." She urged him, watching him intently.
"Sure!" he said transferring generous portions of rice and curry onto his=
plate. Ranma eagerly=20
shoveled the food into his mouth before his eyes suddenly watered, his face=
turned red and his expression=20
turned to one of horror...
Akane face was a mask of concern as she asked, "What's wrong?"
Saotome managed to squeak out, "Water... it's too hot..!"
She sighed as she passed him a pitcher of water , the contents of which he=
gulped down=20
hurriedly, steam rising slowly from his mouth, "Honestly, Ranma you could=
have waited for it to cool you=20
know."
Ranma breathed out the last of the steam as he finished the water,=
"Akane-chan that was=20
definitely worth getting burned for..."
He proceeded to eat more of the meal, this time at a more sedate pace to=
allow it to cool, "Best=20
I've had in years..."
Akane heaved a sigh of relief, "I was so worried. This is sort of an=
apology for this morning..."
Ranma looked up from his meal and looked into Akane's eyes, "Akane..."
"I'm sorry I hit you. You were asleep and didn't know what you were doing.=
And breakfast wasn't=20
all that grea..."
Ranma laughed lightly, cutting her off, "Don't worry about breakfast. I=
know about Ranko=20
sabotaging it."
Akane asked, puzzled, "Ranko..? What does Ranko have to do with anything?"
"Well, its obvious," said Ranma, wiping his mouth on the table napkin, "If=
you compare that=20
awful mess you served for breakfast and this great spread..."
"'Awful mess'?" Akane asked furiously.
"Yeah. I mean, food can't possibly taste that bad unless someone=
intentionally does it that way. I=20
mean, no one cooks that bad... The cockroaches wouldn't touch that junk..."=
Ranma plunged on, heedless.
Akane was glowing slightly and thunder was rolling in the distance. She=
reached under the table=20
for the familiar handle of her hammer. She gripped it tightly as her=
erstwhile boyfriend continued on=20
about the faults of breakfast.=20
"... and furthermore..." Ranma suddenly cut himself off when he realized=
Akane was already=20
growling mildly and staring daggers at him, "Um... What's wrong Akane?=
There's no need to go chasing=20
Ranko now... I mean we're finally having a nice quiet dinner... together,"=
he added after a pause, "Why=20
are you looking at me like that..?"
Akane furiously reminded herself again and again must keep my temper in=
check... must stay=20
calm... must stay calm... her aura guttered out eventually and she seemed to=
collapse a little. She sighed=20
heavily, "Ranma. Ranko didn't have anything to do with breakfast I made it=
all myself."
Ranma facefaulted and stared at the terrific curry he'd been demolishing,=
"Um... waitasecond...=20
you cooked THAT..? and you cooked THIS?" his mind refused to grasp the=
concept, "Um... maybe you're=20
just not a breakfast making type cook?" he tried.
"It's okay. I know I'm not a very good cook. You don't have to lie..."
"But this curry is great!" replied Ranma.
"I had help," Akane replied reluctantly.
"Oh."
"I just wanted to be able to cook for you... You know... like Ukyou can.=
Like practically every=20
other woman who's after you..."
Ranma couldn't help but smile, "Thanks, Akane-chan... but it's okay. I=
mean, if you can't cook."
"Ranma..."
"So what if they can cook," he added softly, "I mean, I'd rather be with=
you than them..."
They both blushed.
There was an awkward pause for a moment before they spoke up at the same=
time.
"Hey, why not have..."
"Here, have some mo..."
"You first," Akane said, now smiling.
"Well, you may as well have some too, Akane-chan. You probably missed=
breakfast again. We=20
can't spend all of our meals with you just watching me eat."
Akane flushed, "I was not watching you eat, you egotistical jerk!"
"Yes, you were!" Ranma shot back.
"Why do I bother with you?" Akane asked without much anger.
Ranma shrugged and smiled as he spooned some curry onto her plate, "Because=
you don't have a=20
choice."
"True," Akane conceded, taking the plate, "But you're still a perverted=
egotistical jerk who tries=20
to grope goddesses in the morning."
"I did not try to grope you!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
Akane gave him a wicked grin and said suddenly, "Next time try it when I'm=
ready."
Ranma blinked and blushed... she absolutely took his breath away when she=
smiled like that. He=20
smiled back, "I just might."
"Good," she said taking a mouthful of curry, "Hey, this is good..."
Ranma nodded in agreement.
"Stupid tomboy goddess with a hammer," Ranma said lightly, smiling.
"Sex-changing lecher," she answered mildly.
"As long as we have that clear," Ranma responded around a mouthful of=
curry.
Ukyou watched the two of them from the kitchen and finally heaved a sigh of=
relief. The both of=20
them were both so high spirited she was worried if it would ever work out=
between them. She had to=20
admit... it did hurt a little to hear him say that he'd rather be with Akane=
than anyone else... even her...=20
but she already knew he was in love with her. Even if the dumb jackass can't=
admit it to himself.
Akane and Ukyou had spent the morning together. Which was plenty of fun,=
she had to admit.=20
Akane was good company. When they'd finished with their groceries, Ukyou had=
finally managed to=20
wheedle the entire story out of Akane. The girl was a hopeless romantic,=
Ukyou mused, but she had the=20
right idea. Once she'd found out about Akane's planned dinner, she'd=
insisted that they go shopping and=20
Akane make a quick visit to a parlor. She hadn't let her hair down in quite=
a while, literally. It had cost a=20
bit... but Ukyou could certainly afford it. The restaurant was doing pretty=
well after all. And it wasn't like=20
she had anything else to spend her money on, except the restaurant.
She looked down at herself and smiled faintly. Akane had insisted that she=
get a dress too... it=20
had been quite a few years since she'd worn one. Or a bra for that matter.=
She had to admit, though, it did=20
look pretty good on her when she was trying it out back at the store. She=
laughed quietly to herself as she=20
peeked out at the two lovebirds again. Akane was now feeding Ranma some=
curry from her plate and=20
Ranma was doing the same from his... they looked so sweet together she=
mused, even as she felt the knife=20
twist deeper into her heart.
She shook her head at her best friend as she began cleaning up the mess she=
and Akane had=20
made of the kitchen in an effort to distract herself. She was careful not to=
make any noise, as Akane didn't=20
want Ranchan to know that she was there. Ukyou was utterly amazed at Akane's=
utter lack of skill when it=20
came to the culinary arts. The woman couldn't even boil water properly. It=
was amazing. It took the better=20
part of the afternoon for Ukyou to help Akane whip a single meal into=
anything even remotely resembling=20
something edible. Truth be told, that curry had started its life as an=
attempt at sukiyaki. Thank goodness=20
for Ranchan's appetite, Ukyou added silently.
A weary voice called out as someone burst through the back door, "Is this=
the Greenwood Dojo?"
Ukyou recognized the voice instantly and rushed to meet the owner... it was=
Ryoga.
She clubbed him over the head with a frying pan and said to him, "Quiet,=
you jerk!"
Ryoga looked at her with surprise, "Ucchan? What are you doing here?"
"ME? What are you doing here?!" she asked in a fierce whisper.
"Isn't this the dojo?"
"No, you moron! This is the temple where Ranma lives!"
"Ranma lives in a temple?" Ryoga asked.
She nodded.
Ryoga's face darkened, "You're staying with Ranma again?! He just moved out=
of your restaurant=20
and now you've moved in with him?! Is this why Akane left him?!"
She whapped him over the head with the frying pan again, "No, you idiot!=
I'm trying to help=20
Akane! And keep your voice down!"
"Okay," he finally whispered back crossly , rubbing his head gingerly where=
she'd hit him.
Something Ryoga said finally registered to Ukyou and she whirled on him=
suddenly, brandishing=20
the frying pan in a threatening manner, "What do you mean Akane left=
Ranma?!" she asked in a raised=20
voice.
"I thought you said we had to keep quiet?" whispered Ryoga.
She sighed as she dragged the eternally lost man with her to the kitchen,=
"Yeah, yeah... keep=20
quiet... I am not going to let you ruin this for them."
"Ruin what?!" Ryoga asked sharply, feeling as if he had just walked into=
the movie a few minutes=20
late and no one would tell him what had happened.
"Dinner. Now just shut up would you?"
"Okay..."
Ukyou fumed, "I swear, Ryoga... you ruin this I'll never forgive you."
Ryoga blinked and replied, "Does that mean you forgive me already for the=
wedding?"
She shot him a cold look which shut him up immediately, "No. You've got a=
lot you haven't been=20
forgiven for."
"Um... right," Ryoga muttered sheepishly. Ryoga glanced at Ukyou and=
tentatively said, "You=20
look... very nice, Ucchan."
Ukyou merely glared at him, "I have nothing to say to you."
"But..."
"Ryoga," she replied tightly, "The only reason I haven't kicked your sorry=
behind out of here is=20
because you'd probably get lost again... probably end up breaking some other=
poor girl's heart."
Ryoga had no response to that.
She sighed and looked him directly in the face, Ranma and Akane momentarily=
forgotten. She=20
was amazed at how difficult it was to stay angry at him. She noticed that he=
had that look on his face=20
again... it was so pathetic and utterly adorable at the same time that she=
couldn't help it...
"So you know about my bad sense of---"
"Of course I know, but it still doesn't change the facts..."
Desperate to keep her anger burning she asked him sharply, "How could you=
get lost to your own=20
wedding?"
"It was pretty easy..." Ryoga replied, rubbing the back of his head and=
blushing.
"It... was... pretty... easy?!" she mocked him angrily, raising her voice.=
She focused her rage=20
again. She knew exactly why she hated Ryoga Hibiki...
"Hey, quiet remember?" said Ryoga pleadingly.
"Don't you 'quiet' me, you stupid pig! How dare you..?! Not only do you=
humiliate me, ruin my=20
life, abandon me... you've got the nerve to stand there and tell me it was=
easy?!!"
"I meant getting lost is easy for me! Don't you think it was tough for me=
too? Do you have any=20
idea how many miles I trudged looking for you?!"
"How many?" Ukyou heatedly dared him to tell her.=20
"I've got no idea either, but there were a lot!"
Ukyou couldn't help it and burst out in giggles, her anger draining away=
from her with each fresh=20
burst of laughter. Ryoga looked puzzled for a moment then joined her easy=
laughter. She tried to shush=20
him, but was barely able to keep from laughing herself... by the time they'd=
both managed to regain their=20
composure, Ukyou had tears in her eyes...
"I knew there was reason why I fell in love with you..." she said, still=
giggling, not even realizing=20
that she had said it.
Ryoga's face suddenly turned serious again as he knelt in front of Ukyou,=
"Uk... Ukyou... will you=20
marry me? This time I promise to do it right. I won't leave the dorm alone=
and I'll have someone bring me=20
to the..."
Ukyou sobered up immediately and faced Ryoga, surprise evident on her face.=
She said to him,=20
"My God... you really mean that, don't you? We haven't seen each other for=
three years and you think just=20
like that," she snapped her fingers, "Hey, wow, everything's fine..?"
She crossed her arms across her chest and looked at him, not as cold now as=
before, in truth,=20
almost sympathetically, "Wake up, Ryoga. I still haven't forgiven you for=
leaving me. Maybe I never will.=20
We've both changed... I'm not that starry eyed school girl who got swept off=
her feet. Maybe I don't want=20
to marry you anymore, did you think of that?"
Ryoga gulped nervously, "Yeah... but...=20
"The point is, Ryoga, we're different people now. I don't want to marry=
you. Give me enough=20
time and plenty of good behavior on your part, and I might... I repeat=
might, start to think of you as a=20
friend again... but I'm not making the same mistake twice. We are not=
getting married."
Ryoga's face looked resolved as he picked himself up off his knees, "I can=
live with that... I=20
guess... for now."
Ukyou replied, in a sweet mocking tone, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I'll change your mind yet, Ucchan. Just you wait."
Ukyou looked at him and said softly, "I don't think so."
She turned away from Ryoga momentarily to glance at Ranma and Akane through=
the doorway.=20
The pair were chatting amiably and didn't seem to have noticed anything...=
she smiled vaguely in their=20
direction and felt a tear trace its way down her cheek. She didn't know if=
she was crying because she was=20
lying to Ryoga... or she was crying for Ranma...
She wiped the tear on the back of one hand and turned to look Ryoga=
straight in the eye, "Oh=20
yeah... one last thing."
"What?" Ryoga asked.
She suddenly grabbed him by the front of his shirt and dragged him towards=
her and cinched him=20
in a tight embrace. She whispered into his chest, "I missed you, you stupid=
fool."
Ryoga returned the hug and murmured, "Me too..."
In another part of town... events were forming themselves into a storm=
which would no doubt=20
have grave consequences in the future. An elegant man stood on the balcony=
of his mansion, sharing the=20
beautiful view of the city with his female companion. The soft light shining=
behind them obscured their=20
faces, leaving only vague silhouettes. They spoke softly, their exchange=
nonetheless charged with emotion=20
despite the calm seeming.
=93Ah, but why can you not, my goddess? Would such a thing not be=
simplicity itself?=94 the man=20
asked heatedly.
The woman looked at him sadly, =93Alas, my Darling, it is not. For I cannot=
leave him.=94
The man=92s face, still obscured by the dark twisted itself into a=
disgusted grimace, =93He has you=20
under his thrall as well... that wretched cur will surely break your heart=
as certainly as he has littered the=20
very streets of this fair city with the love of women who have come to him.=
=20
=93It isn=92t a matter of my heart being broken by him. I do not fear=
that.=94 she said truthfully, tears in=20
her eyes, =93I am bound to him by fetters far stronger than even my love for=
you. He refuses to release me...=94
=93I had thought that perhaps he had given up his evil ways and chosen to=
place himself upon the=20
true and righteous path of the virtuous, yet you say, even now he refuses to=
let you go? You, who are so=20
close to his own intended?=94
=93He has neither mercy nor shame,=94 she murmured, =93... the horrors I=
must endure each day, so far=20
removed from my true life...=94
The man replied furiously, =93Then I shall challenge him for the right to=
you! I shall force this evil=20
disgrace upon the face of humanity and enemy of all women to release you=
from your bondage! I swear=20
this to you my pig tailed goddess!
She looked up at him, her eyes shining in the starlight as she gazed=
adoringly up at him, =93Oh, my=20
love... you would do this for me?=94
=93As certainly as the sun rises in the east,=94 he replied, setting his=
jaw and raising a fist to the=20
heavens, as though daring the gods themselves to challenge his word, =93I=
shall smite this base fiend and=20
free you from his foul clutches for now and for all time! By his defeat, you=
shall be freed!=94
She drew him into a passionate kiss as an amused, but unspoken thought=
passed through her=20
mind, =93What a sap. I=92ve got you now, Saotome.=94
End of Part V
Authors Afterword:
I=92ll be the first to admit it. This took a while to get out. Between=
school work, friends, family, the=20
MUCKs, time has been at something of a premium for me. I won=92t bore you=
with the details. Suffice it to=20
say that since my semestral break has arrived, I=92ll be able to devote more=
time to this and to a few other=20
stories I=92d still like to work on.=20
This story came out a good deal quieter than I=92d originally intended it=
to be, which could be=20
accounted for by the fact that I wrote most of the preceding parts about=
three months or so ago. There was=20
very little slapstick in this one and whether or not this is a good thing or=
a bad thing is up to you folks to=20
decide for yourselves. I like what I=92ve done... but I could probably stand=
to work on it some more.=20
For people looking for more comedy and madness, the next part should be=
more your speed. I=92ll=20
get to it as soon as possible... and remember, nearly everything in this=
series is intentional. If it doesn=92t=20
seem to make sense, it might when a later part comes along, but I=92m only=
human and tend to miss things=20
especially at (looks at his watch) 3:48 AM.
If anyone is interested, I=92m planning on transferring my character notes=
about the characters in=20
this story onto my hard disk from the various napkins, old exam papers and=
whatnot I currently have them=20
on. If you want to see a character profile for this series just send me a=
line and I=92ll be more than happy to=20
post it (especially for you people who wonder why my Shampoo here acts so...=
odd.)
C&C is always welcome, and in fact, requested (down on my knees begging=
desperately with a=20
bit of moaning, thrashing and grinding of teeth...) Thank you for reading.=
This has been the Scriviner. I=20
now return you to your irregularly scheduled messages.
--=====================_846058999==_--