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			Cheap Access to Space

			   by Yoo C. Chung



    After all this time, it was still hard to believe what he was
doing.  Whoever would believe that simply putting a life-size picture
and a tape recorder on a spacecraft would reduce launch costs
drastically?  Just a few years ago, he would have laughed himself
silly if he heard how stuff were launched into orbit these days.  The
new method lacked precision, but a somewhat powerful guidance system
would get the thing into precise orbit once it obtained orbital
velocity.  And such guidance systems were hell of a lot cheaper than
the rockets that were used to launch more heavy payloads.

    The initial shock of launch was tremendous, so the position of the
launch aids (this sounded much better on press releases, hence the
invention of the term) was important.  Not that it required any kind
of precision, but it still meant that the manufacturer of the
spacecraft had to attach them themselves.  And he was the one who was
designated to the somewhat ridiculous job this time.  (Everyone felt
ridiculous about the job, so they took turns.)  OK, got them attached.

    "The picture and tape recorder are attached.  Send it off to the
launch facility."

    He still felt silly about what the "launch facility" was, but it
was certainly effective.

   - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    Tendo Nabiki was waiting for a certain truck to arrive.  The
company she founded, Tendo Saotome Space Enterprises, made a lot more
money than selling pictures or organizing betting pools.  She wondered
why she hadn't thought of the idea earlier than she did.  It was
painfully obvious in retrospect.  Ah, the truck is here.  One thing
you had to appreciate about the space industry was that they made
deliveries in time.  Time to get Akane.

    "Akane, the package is here!" Nabiki called.

    Akane came out grumbling about how rotten a mood she got into
after a job.  Nabiki felt some sympathy for her, but it turned out
that the only way to get enough power out of her was to use the method
they were using now.

    "OK, I'm ready," Akane said to the people who had carried a
spacecraft from the truck.

    One of the people, upon hearing this, pressed a switch on the tape
recorder.  The people then hurriedly made for what they deemed a safe
distance from the spacecraft.

    Akane took a look at the spacecraft.  It had a life-size picture
of Ranma on it.  Suddenly, Ranma's voice, in a taunting tone, came out
of it.

    "Sexless tomboy!  Flat-chested uncute girl!  You can't cook!"

    And on and on.  Akane felt anger build up inside her, until she
could take it no more.

    "Ranma ... no ... BAKA!"

    And kicked him!  (Actually, she kicked his picture.)  And off flew
the spacecraft.

    The other people who were watching still felt ridiculous after a
launch session, despite all the times they've watched before, but what
job is ever perfect?


			     - The End -


Author's notes:

After reading a lot of fanfics about punting people into the
stratosphere (and in some cases, low earth orbit, or even
geosynchronous orbit), I had a vision of Ranma and company launching
spacecraft the same way they put people in orbit.  And the result is
this short silly fanfic.  Groan all you want, but I needed to get this
out of my head. :P

Ranma is copyrighted by Takahashi Rumiko.  Characters used without
permission.  (Surely they won't sue me.  After all, I'm helping them
get some free publicity, right?)

- -- 
Yoo Chul Chung <wacko@power1.snu.ac.kr>
School of Electrical Engineering, Seoul National University
Webpage: http://plaza.snu.ac.kr/~wacko/home.html

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