On Tue, 1 Oct 1996 21:16:19 -0500 (CDT) G.L. Sandborn said:
: AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! I screwed up the first post.
: (Let's try this again.)
Hmm, are you sure that you only screwed up the *post*?
: I'm not sure where this came from (I've been stone
: sober for over a week).
That might be it. We had a guy lying at our ward in hospital, who
always saw big threatening men come from the walls when he was
kept sober for some time. :)
: Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble
: by Uncle Fester
: It was a dark and stormy night. Well, it really wasn't all that
: dark (being around dinner time and all) and it wasn't storming, not
: even cloudy. It's just that I always wanted to open a story with: 'It
: was a dark and stormy night'.
So do I, thus I can forgive you the blatant breaking of the fourth
wall.
: "Grandmother think Shampoo fail to get husband Ranma," she
: pouted, leaning on her recently cleaned counter. "She think Shampoo
: not good at magic. I show her." Her lips curled into smile as she
: pulled from her apron pocket a small black book. "I use strong magic
: of book to bring husband to Shampoo." She giggled, clutching the
: small book to her chest.
Awww, not *another* one of those! <sigh> let's see how it turns
out.
: As she opened the ancient book, its hinges seemed to creak and
: little wisps of dust raised a small cloud around the book and girl.
: "What language this?" Shampoo pondered out loud. "It not Chinese
: or Japanese." She rubbed the book's cover enough to reveal it's
: title. In English letters, it spelled out Bartender's Guide of
: 1945'. Shrugging her shoulders, she mumbled: "Oh well, if grandmother
: keep hidden from Shampoo, must be powerful. I just guess at words.
: Not hard."
Heh heh heh, the only thing you'll magic forth with that one is
pink, dancing elephants. Or possibly pandas.
: "Stupid book." she pouted. "Potion needs grandmother's special
: herbs to work."
: Shampoo found the jar that contained her grandmother's carefully
: hoarded cache of special spices and herbs from China that she used
: whenever she cast her spells or mixed a powerful potion. There
: weren't many left. Figuring that only a pinch was necessary, Shampoo
: carefully reached over the bowl containing the potion and dropped the
: herbs in.
Ooop.
<dons green, wavy wig and blue robe; sticks fingers into ears>
Ohh Nooo!
: Mixing ingredients in a dirty bowl, Shampoo quickly summoned up a
: giant long necked yellow bird.
: "Hello," the bird said in a very nasally voice. "Won't you be my
: friend?"
: "No! MOUSSE!"
: "Yes, Shampoo, my darling," Mousse answered as he stuck his head
: through he door.
: "Main course!" she demanded pointing to the bird.
: "Actually, all I was looking for was..gwaaaak!" the bird's voice
: was cut off as the white robed Chinese boy grabbed it's neck.
Yeeee-hawwww! Roast it good an' slow!
: The last Akane saw of the trio, Ranma was running for his life
: with a little white cat close on his heels and Ukyou, swinging her
: giant spatula, chasing the cat; the sounds of her spatula rang through
: the night air as she repeatedly slammed it into the street trying to
: squash the offending feline.
Whatta nice ending. The only thing missing is the whacky tune and
the caption "that's all, folks".
Sebastian