Ok.  So I lied about finishing this chapter a lot later. Here's the third draft of the chapter, and I'd like people to tell me what's wrong with it.  (I feel something's wrong, but I can't put my finger on it....)

C&C is always treasured.

No Title Yet!  (I'm a bit unsure how to title this story, suggestions would be nice)
Zenki aka Michael Chen
michael.h.chen@yale.edu



Chapter 2

     Kasumi shouted, "Nabiki!"

     Ranma yawned for the umpteenth time, greatly annoying Miss Hinako.  And just as before, she screamed "Ranma! Don't fall asleep!" and winged his head with an accurately thrown eraser.  Despite the constant noise pollution and minor physical distractions, Ranma managed to find comfort in his cold wooden desk and fell asleep.  Just as his consciousness began to fade away, Ranma heard a scream outside.  Ranma recognized that voice.  His eyes openned, he snapped up straight in his chair, and he jumped out of his desk.  In his haste, he tipped over his desk, scattering books, papers, pencils, and pens all over the floor.  Running to a window, he stared outside, and was surprised to see Kasumi, panting like crazy, looking upwards.

     "Kasumi! What's wrong?"  Ranma shouted back.

      "Ranma!  Get back to your seat!"  He felt his teacher grab him roughly by the waist in an attempt to pull him back to his desk.

      "Get off!" hissed Ranma, who didn't take his eyes off of Kasumi.  He pushed Ms. Hinako away.

      Kasumi saw Ranma from his window, and her hopeless despair turned into despair.  "Ranma! Go to the roof!"  She saw Ranma nod, and his head disappeared.  Whipping his body around, Ranma came face to face with his teacher, who had during the meantime, drained the entire front row of energy.  Not wanting to be the next victim, Ranma ran out the door, and dashed towards the stairs like a mad man.  He quickly zoomed up three flights of stairs, his legs covering two steps at a time.  Finally, in 20 seconds, he reached the door to the roof, and was surprised to find it locked.  Desperate, he kicked the door, which promptly blasted into splinters.  He rushed out on to the roof, and saw Nabiki standing on the edge, drinking a bottle of beer.

      The sight of Nabiki getting really drunk was enough to make Ranma wonder.  `So she does have emotions after all!  But first thing's first.'  "Nabiki!  Come here right now!" Ranma's voice was tight.  Nabiki turned around, her face filled with many emotions.  Ranma  was completely shocked by her condition.  `My god, her emotions are just loose!  I have to get her away from the edge...'  Nabiki drank another mouthful of beer.  She brought the shaded dark bottle to her lips, and tilted her head back, allowing gravity to pull her only comfort into her mouth.  However, Nabiki was already seriously drunk, and her poor coordination caused some beer to fizzle out of her mouth.  Wiping away a tear, Nabiki looked a Ranma with drunken eyes.

      She tried to speak to Ranma, but her train of thought was completely disjoined and her speech was extremely slurred.  Ranma could not make out a single syllable that Nabiki said.  She kept on talking, "You know the world is a harsh place...Akane is so lucky....Everyone loves her, including you...But no one likes me at all!"  Her body slightly stiffens, and she finished the bottle.  Without hesitation, she dropped the bottle, and grabbed another one from her pocket.  She squinted at Ranma, her vision becoming completely hazy.  Her inhibitions lost, her emotions just spilled out.

      "Ranma! You know, I kind of fell in love with you this past year...But I'm sorry you can't return the love..."  Her voice was still slurred, and Ranma couldn't decipher what she had just said.  She took another long drink from the new bottle.  Then finally, Nabiki finally felt the rush of alcohol hit her head, and she began to blackout.  But her last action was to lean forwards.  Nabiki fell downwards from the edge.  Kasumi screamed, and fell to her knees.  Ranma gasped, and he ran after her, just as Miss Hinako and the entire class bursted onto the roof.  Akane also gasped when she saw Nabiki fall over the edge.  She screamed when Ranma jumped after Nabiki, the only thought in his head: `I have five stories to save her from the ground...'

      Ranma tightened his body into a little ball, allowing his body to fall faster than Nabiki.  Stories passed him like a blur.  The fifth story, the fourth story.  With each succeeding story, he gradually approached Nabiki's falling body.  The third story, just an arm-length away...  Finally at the second story he finally caught up to Nabiki, and quickly grabbed her.  Holding her next to his body from behind, his mind reeled with shock.  `Shit! Less than ten feet to the ground!'  Quickly thinking Ranma decided to protect Nabiki at all costs, Ranma spun his body around, preparing to use himself as a cushion for Nabiki.  Immediately after he completed his move, Ranma slammed into the concrete surface, and bounced once.

      Ranma felt pain as he crashed into the ground, and he felt his body make one bounce.  Almost immediately after his body came to a rest, he felt every bone in his back out of place.  He shoulders were not in the right place.  His entire back screamed with pain.  Unable to bear his pain, his consciousness began to fade.  His eyes landed on Nabiki who woke up from her drunken stupor.  

      "I haven't died yet!"  Nabiki did not realize that Ranma had saved her.  But she already had a backup prepared.  With some difficulty, she managed to pull a knife from her purse, and prepared to cut her throat.

      Ranma's eyes widened when he saw Nabiki's resolve to die.  Using sheer willpower, Ranma ignored the pains that fired up and down his entire back as he slowly sat up.  His hand intercepted the knife, and he whispered to Nabiki. 

      "Please don't."  Nabiki looked back and finally realized that Ranma had saved her from the drop.  Ranma, unable to hold back his pain, fell back, unconscious.  Kasumi finally ran up and threw the knife away.  While crying like crazy, she hugged Nabiki.

      "Nabiki! You're alright!  Thank god.  Why? Why would you want to kill yourself?"  Nabiki too bursted into more tears, and mumbled a few incoherent phrases.  As Kasumi held her, her hand let the half-empty bottle of beer slide out her grip and drop onto the ground.  It smashed on impact, the amber vile-smelling liquid foaming over the ground.

      "Kasumi!"  Everyone, except for Ranma turned around, and saw Soun panting like crazy.  His eyes were filled with worry, which disappeared when he saw Kasumi hugging Nabiki...  Kasumi carefully left Nabiki, who quickly bent down to Ranma's side.

      Kasumi burst into tears and hugged Soun, and whispered into his ear.  "Nabiki tried to kill herself..."  Soun took this hard, and burst into tears, naturally assuming it was his fault for driving Nabiki to this.  He walked over to Nabiki and hugged her constantly crying out, "I'm sorry, Nabiki, I'm sorry I never really paid attention to you..."  After a few iterations, he stopped.  While smoothing back Nabiki's wild hair, he looked into her drunken eyes, and he smelled the alcohol on her breath.  He still hugged her. 

      "Ranma!  I want to have a word with...." Miss Hinako had finally got down the stairs, and essentially the whole school came running after her.  Akane was crying crazy as she ran over to Ranma's inert form.  She smiled hopefully as Ranma regained consciousness, and his hand instinctively touched Akane's hand.  Meanwhile, Miss Hinako's attention was torn away from Ranma's supine form to Mr. Tendo.  Her childish face filled with joy.

      "Mr. Tendo!"  She giggled helplessly, as she ran up to him.  However, Soun ignored her, and was paying complete attention to Nabiki.  He held Nabiki tight, tears streaming from his face.

       After Nabiki's near death experience, Soun still demanded that Nabiki see Dr. Tofu, even though Nabiki was not apparently hurt.  The whole family minus Kasumi walked into Dr. Tofu's clinic.  Kasumi had decided to run back home to finish her chores, prepare dinner, and look after Genma, who was probably already starving.

     Dr. Tofu quickly made a visual examination of Nabiki.  "Amazing, five stories and not a scratch.  Hmmm... There should be no major problems, but there maybe a headache and minor nausea later today from the alcohol."  Dr. Tofu left her side and looked at Ranma, and his face became more serious.  His fingers sensitively probing Ranma's back, feeling the occasional dislocated joint...  At first, his face was deep in thought as he carefully probed, worried about broken bones and damaged organs.  His skilled fingers slowly went over Ranma's back.  After a brief moment of contemplation, Dr. Tofu's serious face relaxed.  `Thank god Ranma doesn't have any serious damage.  Amazing, a normal person would have died from that fall.'

      Smiling, Dr. Tofu proceeded to give Ranma a painful back job. "Not a problem.." Ranma screamed when his left shoulder was place back into it's joint.  "just a few..."  Again Ranma gasped in pain as his other shoulder was set into proper location. "dislocations."  Ranma felt a series of painful pops down the length of his back, as Dr. Tofu realigned his vertabrae one-by-one.  Everyone stared at the scene, their jaws slack, their stomachs churning as they witnessed this gruesome set of events.  With every pop of a joint being relocated, everyone flinched.  Of course, Ranma did not flinch, he basically yelled straight through.

       "Ow! Dr. Tofu! What are you trying to do, kill me?"  Ranma shouted as he twitched on the examination table.  Dr. Tofu too concentrated to hear the comment, continued the chiropractic treatment.  After a couple minutes of bone-popping-scream-evoking fun, Dr. Tofu stopped.  Tired and really pissed off, Ranma felt the urge to say something nasty to Dr. Tofu, but held his comment back when he realized that the intense pain was gone.

      "Gosh! Thanks!  Good as new!"  Ranma leaped of the bed, surprising everyone.  In moments, everyone left the clinic.  Ranma was walking with Akane.  Behind them, Soun, his eyes still streaming tears, was walking with Nabiki.  Unknown to all of them, during the entire trip home, Nabiki stared at Ranma and Akane, dreaming a huge barrage of bombs and heavy artillery breaking the intangible bond between Ranma and Akane.  She almost broke into a smile, when she watched Ranma and Akane playing one of their games, in her mind she tried to superimpose herself over Akane and tried to imagine the emotions.  She couldn't.

      Finally, they reached the Dojo, where Kasumi had already prepared a fabulous meal.  During the dinner, everything seemed normal, except for the fact that everyone was paying more attention to Nabiki.  Every time Nabiki asked for a dish, a wall of hands would arc over the table to the desired dish.  What amazed Nabiki the most was Ranma's ability to fight with his father, while passing dishes....

       "Hey Dad!  Out of my rice bowl!"  Ranma smacked his father with his chopsticks and started a minor skirmish, when he heard Nabiki.

       "Could someone pass the pork?"  Ranma's hand zoomed to the plate, and he skillfully passed the dish, as he kicked his father's hand, which was inching closer to the meat in Ranma's bowl.  His father silently raging, suddenly grabbed Ranma's bowl, prepared to pour the contents of the bowl into his bowl, which was missing.  Ranma grabbed it while he passed the salt to Nabiki!

      Kasumi, suddenly on the spur of the moment, stood up to make an announcement in the middle of the typical dining chaos at the Tendo household.  Since she rarely made any announcements, everyone was surprised and stopped what ever they were doing.  Genma's hand was inches away from Ranma's bowl, holding chopsticks that held a piece of beef.  Ranma was in the middle of grabbing Genma's bowl.  Nabiki was about to eat a piece of fish.  Soun had a cup of tea touching his lips...

     "Ahem," Kasumi turned slightly red at all the attention given to her, "In the interests of helping Nabiki through her crisis, I've arranged an appointment with a reputable psychologist for Nabiki tomorrow."  Soun's face turned ashen, his hand holding the tea started to shake.  His eyes widened, as his mind started to contemplate the cost involved.

     His voice was hoarse, as he started his usual line.  "Kasumi, how can we afford this?  I don't have a regular job, and we have two free-loaders with stomachs...."  He stopped when Kasumi held up her hand.

      "Don't worry.  The money is coming from my savings."  Soun sat there effectively silenced.  But then he realized the sacrifice that Kasumi was making, and he began to feel ashamed that his daughter had to make another.  His eyes started to water, and he burst into more tears.

     "No, no Kasumi, you sacrifice too much for this family.  Your father will pay...."  Kasumi gave her father a smile, and she turned to Nabiki.  "The appointment is set for tomorrow, nine o'clock."      

     "Ok, Miss Tendo, why did you try to commit suicide?"  Nabiki was sitting across from the psychologist.  In her mind, she played the many events that led to her depression.  Suddenly her mind focused on Ranma, and she sat in comfortable chair thinking about him.

      "Um, excuse me.  Ms. Tendo."  The psychologist made a quick note in his notebook.  "Ahem! Ms. Tendo."  Nabiki was still lost in thought, her mind constantly whirling around Ranma.  `Maybe he really likes me, he did save me twice.  He did use his body...Oh what a body...'  Her mind drifts back to the scene at Dr. Tofu's where Ranma was having his back realigned....

       "Ms. Tendo!"  The psychologist leaned over his desk and tapped her hand gently.  The momentary contact caused Nabiki to shake out of her daydream.  She looked around as her eyes refocused, and she remembered that she was in the psychologist's office.  

       "What?  What did you ask?  Sorry I wasn't paying attention."  Nabiki's mind began reprimand herself.  `Nabiki how could you!  Letting your emotions take control.'  The psychologist wrote a brief note on his pad: "Not attentive, patient is distracted by something."

       "Why did you try to commit suicide?"

      Unwilling to talk about herself, Nabiki shrugged.  "I don't know."  Nabiki fought hard to remain as emotionless as possible, but she found that the psychologist's constant watching, his calm, friendly, tell-me-everything-about-it voice, made it hard.  She gave in, and her emotions got control again.  Basically, Nabiki spilled everything, well, almost everything.

      "I felt my life wasn't fun...I mean I always thought that after I had enough money, I could get my fun....But recently, I was attacked and I realized that many people hated me because I appear to be some sort of mercenary.....I think that's it."  The psychologist nodded, making a couple notes "Isolated, Emotionally Restricted." on the pad next to him.  Thinking for a moment, he looked at Nabiki.  The psychologist's sixth sense was tingling.  He felt that there was something more...

      "Nabiki, is that all?  I kind of feel that there's something holding you're back..." Nabiki sighed realizing the psychologist was correct. "Yeah," she said dejectedly, "I want to have a boyfriend, but I can't."  Her face twisted into anger.  Noting the sudden emotional change in Nabiki, the psychologist made another note: "Patient needs to lose inhibitions, potentially emotionally unstable."

      Nabiki just let released her pent up anger.  "It's just not fair.  My younger sister, who really doesn't like boys, always has these men fawning over her, and I have no one."  She didn't notice that her hands had balled up into tight fists, and her nails were digging into her palms.  She paused, trying to control her emotions, she couldn't.  Another note, "Patient does not know how to release anger and stress."

     The psychologist thought for a moment.  `This poor girl needs to have a new goal, perhaps a person she's interested in.'  "Is there someone in particular that you like?"  He asked.  

      "Yes."  Nabiki's face lightened up as soon as she thought about Ranma.  She thought about his face, his personality, his kindness.  She even silently laughed about his curse.  `I was so stupid to reject him because of his curse!'   But her face grew cold when she thought about Akane.

      "Why don't you tell him your feelings?"  Nabiki thought whether to reveal that the guy she liked was with her younger sister.  She decided not to.

     "Well, he's kind of dating another girl right now, and a lot of girls like him."  The psychologist smiled when she said that.

     "There's an easy solution to this.  Why don't you try to chase him for awhile.  It'll definitely make your life more interesting.  It'll be good for you, and he could help you cope with anger and emotions.  Besides, it could become a new hobby for you."  Nabiki couldn't believe her ears.  The psychologist had basically suggested that she should actively pursue Ranma.....

      She kind of smiled at the thought, and for once her life seemed to become interesting.  She started to imagine what life would be like with Ranma.

      "Thank you."  She quickly left the office, to get home before Ranma go there.  Her face was uncharacteristically happy as she ran back home, her short hair fluttered in the wind.  Her feet sprung back up as they made contact with the ground.

     Nabiki burst in the door, panting hard from her run, and smiled at Kasumi.  "Hi, Kasumi."  Kasumi immediately dropped her cooking and came up to Nabiki.  `My god! I've never seen Nabiki smile so easily.  Something must be on her mind...'  Taking Nabiki's school bag, Kasumi smiled back at Nabiki.

     "Nabiki, so how was the doctor today?  Is there something I can do for you today?"  Nabiki was surprised at Kasumi's reaction to her coming home.  `Gosh, I think Kasumi is really worried about me...'  Soun bursted into the room.  

     "How's my daughter!"  He tightly embraced her, driving her breath out.  `Why all of the attention all of the sudden?' Nabiki thought.  Her thoughts were broken by the dramatic entrance of an angry Akane, followed by Ranma, who was trying very hard to appease Akane.

      "Akane, I didn't kiss Kodachi!  She came out of nowhere, drugged me, tied me up, and kissed me!"  His hands gestured towards himself.  Ranma was trying as always to explain the situation.

     "Ranma! You didn't fight back.  You didn't resist her kiss."  Akane, always overreacting.

     "But, how could I react, I was drugged and tied up in a ribbon!" Ranma followed Akane upstairs, both still were yelling at each other.  Nabiki sighed as she saw Ranma, a dreamy look overtook her face.  Kasumi noticed the look.  Kasumi watched Nabiki's eyes follow Ranma across the room and up the stairs.  Kasumi thought `Something's fishy here, I'd better ask Nabiki later...'  

      "Nabiki, I take it that you like Ranma?"  Kasumi was standing in Nabiki's doorway, and Nabiki was at her desk doing her homework.  Moments ago, Nabiki was leaning back in her chair, watching Ranma, like some forbidden cookie in the cookie jar, practicing outside.  Unknown to Nabiki, Kasumi had sneaked quietly up the stairs, down the hall, and had watched Nabiki for a minute before making her entrance.  Nabiki imperceptiblely froze, her hand jerked slightly while she pretended that she was practicing her English.

     "Kasumi, you really think that I'd like such a poor person!"  Nabiki feigned disinterest.  However, deep in Nabiki's mind she found herself drawn to Ranma... and her eyes began to glaze over as she... `No, I must stop thinking about Ranma all of the time!'  Nabiki, amazingly, prevented herself from daydreaming again.  Kasumi, not satisfied with Nabiki's answer, decided to give Nabiki the piercing eyes look.  Nabiki blanched as her older sister stared at her, the eyes seeming to pierce and look into her soul.  

      "Really Nabiki, you should tell me the truth.  I saw your face when you saw Ranma.  It was like your face had turned from ice to water instantly."  Nabiki couldn't control herself, but she blushed, a telltale sign.  Kasumi sighed, rather loudly, her mind not understanding her sister at all.

      "I really like Ranma...Please don't tell anyone.."  Nabiki had the look of desperation, as she gave Kasumi the look of a needy beggar.  Kasumi blinked, and couldn't help but feel sorry for Nabiki.  Her mind spun at this request.  Kasumi looked at Nabiki's eyes, and almost felt that Nabiki was begging her.  `I really should go and tell Akane and Ranma, but Nabiki really needs my support now..."  Nabiki smiled weakly.  Kasumi backed down.

       "Ok, your secret is safe with me."  Nabiki smiled a lot stronger and held Kasumi's hands.  Kasumi reacted to Nabiki's sudden show of emotion.  Uncomfortable with the new Nabiki, Kasumi left the room, her mind thinking furiously about the implications.  `Akane's not going to like this.  I should tell Akane, but I made that promise.' Meanwhile, Nabiki sighed, ignored her home work, and leaned back in her chair to watch Ranma and his father, who were sparring as usual in the backyard.  

      "Ha.  Old Man, getting slow?"  Ranma threw his father into the pond.  He went down and the surface of the pond became calm after a minute.  Ranma, stood there fidgeting, when he realized that something could have happened....  He panicked and ran to the edge of the pool to look in.  While he leaned over the edge of the pond, a paw shot out of the calm mirror surface, grabbed Ranma by his shoulder, and pulled him in.  A panda, launched out of the pool in a large jump, a spray of water behind it, and the pond's surface wavered from the falling water droplets.  A very wet and indignant Ranma-chan came up spluttering. 

       "How dare you!"  His womanly voice carried anger.  Genma signed back.

       "Ha ha, see you didn't pay attention..."  Genma launched himself at Ranma.  Nabiki's mind wandered back to the episodes of the previous day when Ranma rescued her...  His hands which had held her body protectively.  His desperation to save her life.  The risk he took to save her...

      As night fell and the stars began to twinkle in their eternal fireworks show, Nabiki had finished her work and was trying to relax by reading a manga at her desk.  But her mind was not into the story.  Her mind was completely focused on Ranma.  She dreamed about kissing him.  She dreamed about marrying him...  Reading the manga did not provide relaxation.  After disinterestedly turning a few pages, she heard a faint rapping at her window, and saw Ranma hanging upside down from the roof.  Reaching over, Nabiki quietly openned the windows, allowing Ranma to flip in.  He landed uncomfortably close to Nabiki.

      "Hi, Nabiki!  I just wanted to check up on you.  So how are you doing?" Ranma cheerfully said.  Nabiki was shocked that Ranma actually had an interest in her.  Slowly, she placed a bookmark in her manga, and slowly sat on her bed, trying to prolong her private moment with Ranma.  She was surprised when Ranma sat next to her.

      Nabiki replied, trying to hide her emotions, "No problem, I'm feeling a lot better.  That psychologist sure knew how to fix things up."  Ranma looked closely at Nabiki, and felt something different about her.  She seemed a bit more uncomfortable all of the sudden and her normal emotionless demeanor was cracking.

      "That's great!"  Nabiki almost cried.  Ranma then sat closer to Nabiki, when he noticed that Nabiki's eyes had begun to water up.  He propped his right arm across her shoulders like an old friend, trying to comfort her.  "Come on what's wrong?  You know it's unusual for me to see you this sad."  Nabiki felt Ranma's slim but strong arm slide around her back.  She almost shuddered at his touch...

      Her emotions completely took over, and she exploded into tears.  Finding the only convenient source of comfort, Nabiki buried her face into Ranma's shoulder.  "I don't know...I'm all of a sudden getting these weird feelings..."  She added mentally, `And I'm madly in love with you...'  Ranma looked down at Nabiki, feeling completely sorry for her.  `God, it must be difficult for her...I guess it's the first time she has ever had her emotions let loose...'  Ranma turned Nabiki and himself so that they faced each other, his hands on her shoulders.

       "Well, I think you should try to listen to these feelings you've been getting, and not try to supress them..."  Nabiki managed a teary-smile.  She mentally laughs.  `Ranma is basically encouraging me to chase him, and he doesn't know that!'  Ranma seeing the smile, decided to leave, to check on Akane.

      "Well, I gotta go.  I'm going to see Akane.  Goodnight."  Ranma goes out the window, his hands reached up to the rafters outside, and he swung up to the roof leaving Nabiki behind.  Nabiki sighed, her thoughts slightly depressed as she thought of Ranma and Akane together.  Her thoughts dropped more after she heard Akane's cheerful giggle from another room.

      Leaving her bed, she sat at her desk, and pulled out a new notebook.  She openned it and began to brainstorm how to get Ranma away from Akane.  For four hours straight, she wrote ideas and ideas and ideas and ideas in the book.  Anything from the bizarre to the ordinary, all ideas went into that book.  Finally, after the book was filled, she quickly skimmed through the book.

      On page 40, she stopped.  Her eyes landed a plan that might work.  Slowly, an old familiar smile creeped across her face, it was the smile that Nabiki used to have when she thought up of a money-making scheme.  She reached over into her drawers and archives, ready to forge the separation of Ranma and Akane.

So concludes the 3rd draft of chapter 2!

What do ya think?

Personally, I think it needs a bit more work...