raphael@asu.edu wrote:
If you don't like this idea, then just delete it. I thought it would
a good way, though, to finish off this
revenge/revenge-revenge/existence-questioning thing once and for all. If
anyone wants to take this and turn it into something better (wouldn't be
hard), that's fine with me.
Note: "The Author" by no means refers to myself. "The Author"
is...well...it should be pretty obvious by now.
<Scene: A somewhat cluttered dorm room, late at night. A student is
sitting at his desk, hammering furiously away at his computer. The room
is dark except for a single desk light that throws weird shadows all over
the room. A boombox in the corner softly plays Weird Al.>
The Author: [hammering at the keyboard] Hee hee! Now the fanfic authors
are exacting revenge right back at the anime creators! Boy, I'm a genius!
The mailing list will be clogged for a good two more weeks! [scratches
his head] Hmm....what'll I do next to make my favorite anime characters
and fanfic authors' lives a living heck? I know! [pounds keyboard some
more and laughs maniacally] Boy, I'm a stinker!
<The music is abruptly cut off due to the fact that the boombox has been
forcibly flung against the wall and is now in four hundred sixty-seven
pieces on the floor. The Author turns from his seat, and quickly stands
up in alarm.>
The Author: You...how'd you get in here?
Biles: [in female form, of course] Surely you know the answer to that
question. Especially since you were the one that made inter-reality travel
possible in the first place.
<Kun-kun silently enters the room next, holding a giant garlic press in one
hand and a large wooden mallet in the other. His expression is dangerous.>
Kun-kun: It's about time we "returned the favor," wouldn't you say? I
mean, all the other fanfic authors have been paid back...
The Author: [standing up, positioning himself between the computer and
the disgruntled authors] You... you can't do that! The SKJAM! Challenge
doens't apply to me! I mean, I'm not like you! I'm...The Author! [a flash
of lightning crackles outside, followed by a large thunderclap] I *made*
this all possible! You're just...characters that I used in my story idea!
Biles: [shakes his head in sympathy] You know, that sounds awful
familiar...but look where we are now. In fact, look where we *all* are
now, so to speak.
<Biles gestures behind her and in walks Travis Butler, RpM, Nightelf,
Mike W. Loader, Cynewulf, Stormwalker, Bridget Ellen Bergman, Zen,
Alpha Centauri, and a host of other well-established fanfic writers in no
particular order, most not in their normal genders, of course. They begin
to move in on The Author, murder in their eyes.>
The Author: [suddenly sitting at his keyboard again and beginning to
furiously hammer once more] No! You don't have a fraction of the power I
wield! I'll just sic the anime characters on you again!
<The Author's computer is suddenly demolished by a pin dart, followed by
a chi-blast.>
Ranma: [growls] You jerk...using all of us just to fulfill a idle
daydream of yours. [his hands glow with chi]
Priss: I've been waiting for this moment for a long time... [raises her
arm cannon]
<Akane, Washu, Urd, Skuld, Sylia, Usagi, and a host of disgruntled anime
characters gather around The Author and what is left of his computer.
They join ranks along side of the fanfic authors.>
The Author: [screaming] Traitors! I gave you so much power, too! I gave
you the gift of revenge!
Mike Loader: I believe the vernacular also says that it's better to give
than to receive... [cracks knuckles]
Washu: [holding up a ZIP disk] This is the only remaining trace of all
you've put us through. Once I've suspended it in a phase-harmonic matrix
and reverse the ionic-tachyon polarity, it and everything on it will
cease to exist.
The Author: You can't destroy all my hard work! You're nothing! You're
all nothing! *I* created the story; *I* decide what happens next, not
you! You're just...characters!
Nightelf: [shakes head in pity] It is indeed a sad thing, seeing one's
own folly doubly relected in the desperate ravings of one so depraved.
Sylia: Your work won't be destroyed, mind you, but utterly erased from this
universe. It will be as if none of the revenge-fic stories were ever written,
reversing all you've done to us.
Kun-kun: Before we do *that,* of course, we have some business to attend
to... [balls a fist]
Priss: [growling] You're speaking my language now.
Washu: And to make sure you don't just rewrite what we annihilate...
<Sasami pulls out a Juraian memory-erasing device>
Dr. Tofu: It's really quite fascinating. This little device, coupled with
our own combined psychic energy, will erase only those pathways that
allowed you to write the revenge-saga in the first place. Everything
else, including what's about to happen in the next few moments, will
still be painfully there. You just won't have the ability to write any
kind of self-insertion fic, otaku fic, avatar fic, or revenge-fic
anymore.
The Author: [on the ground now, visibly shaking] And what happens now?
Travis Butler: They say actions speak louder than words.
<The horde of authors and anime characters close in on the helpless
Author.>
<Zoom out on the building from the exterior. The sounds of mayhem, pain,
and torture echo long into the night.>
End.
Okay, so it's really lame. But it finishes the thing, doesn't it? And I
kinda like the "Full-circle" effect.
Anyway, go ahead and delete this stupid thing now. I'll get back to work
on the final chapter to "Scoop."
---
Raphael See
To end something just to end it is fruitless.
I personally think that it would be something of a waste to have written
all of this mess just to undo it in a single stroke.
I, for one, will hold to the ending of my story as posted. If
Stormwalker is needed to participate in the "final battle" bit, I ask
that whoever writes it please hold to the restraints I have placed upon
his/her use of power and physical force.
Oh, by the way... whoever it was who wanted to know "where" each person
involved was, Stormwalker is in College Station, Texas, Earth. He has
never been to Fred, and shall not go there unless asked.