Not bad. Lacked a bit of closure; are we gonna see any more of this? It
has potential for a series...
   You noted at the end of the fic that Ranma's speech is different from
the narration in the fic. True, but people don't always think the way they
talk; and this is very much a personal/mental narrative. Works well, I
think. :)
   Does bear a distinct resemblance to "Outsiders", both in content and
style. Nice use of mood and tone.
   Hope to see more. :)

- Mike Loader
===/\=====+==================================================================
  /  \    l  "For, look you, there is humour in all things, and the truest
 / () \   l   philosophy is that which teaches us to find it and make the
/      \  l   most of it." - Jack Point, _The Yeomen of the Guard_
--------  l                    mloader@scs.unr.edu
==========+==================================================================
Fnord.