It was a bar.. a rather dingy bar, filled with the dregs, and oddities of
human life.  Being a rather technological shadow, many of the people in
here were wired up for one thing or another.  Cybernetic limbs, brain
implants etc etc.  All in the race to be the best, the top of their
pile...

Waving to the bartender for another beer, receiving a wave of his
cybernetic arm in reply, I pondered what could be useful from this Shadow.
Some parts were absolute trash, some others were... interesting to say the
least.

Absently putting out my hand, I trapped the sliding beer glass with nary a
drop spilled.  Some things just don't change in any Shadow.. although
there was that one which insisted customers *catch* their beers.  A
whisper played across my mind, of someone wanting to talk...  I reached
out, and fully opened up the contact, a faint rainbow appearing around me
as the Trump magic took hold.  I knew who it was, and had been expecting
this call.

   "We are go for assault. Status on your end?"

   "Eureka! I've found it." I replied, thinking of that enjoyable trip
between Shadows, and that funny place called Australia.

   "A second way into Fred? How?"

I smiled at that, thinking of the absurdity of naming a Shadow.  Out of an
infinite number of Shadows, there would be an infinite number of names.
Most are called some variation of 'Earth' or 'Rock', but 'Fred' ?  

   "Take the 762587236578th Shadow after the Pattern and turn left."  It
wasn't an accurate guide, and hard to do for the average Shadow Walker,
but it was how I saw Shadow.

   "Very good. I doubt the plot holes will be an option after
this little foray."

   "I could always crash it again, but it would be hard...."

Well, not hard.  Just damm annoying, it being near the Pattern and all.
Warping Shadows, espically for what he was wanting, is hard near the
Pattern's influence.  I thought about how long it would take me, then
shrugged.  That option probably wouldn't be needed.

   "Ready?"  I asked.

   "Ready. Meet you in Fred."

   "See you there... Let's do it."

Releasing the contact, I turned aside, contemplating the bar ahead of me.
Looking up, I noticed that the regulars of the bar were trying to pretend
that they weren't trying to listen in... after all, I had just started
talking to a rainbow.  Well, this should give them a surprise...

"Hey Ratz!  One for the road!"
"Pay up first."

It was with a smile that I reached into my pocket and reached out... it
wasn't hard, not in this Shadow.  In only a few moments I had found
several loose large denonination notes.. 'New Yen' I believe they were
called.. a bit outdated for this level of technology, but perfectly
acceptable. 

"Here.  And keep the change."

Ratz merely glanced at the notes I had flung on the bar and grunted, then
poured another beer. I wondered for a moment whether the guy ever showed
surprise, then shrugged.  Other matters called me.  And speaking of
calls...  I reached out again, vocalising my intent:

"Ghostwheel.  Shall we play a game?"

Ignoring the predictable looks, I called again, using more force.
"Ghostwheel.  Now."

A shimmering appeared above a nearby table in the Chatsubo.  The Occupants
of said table immediatly scattered as the shimmering became more
pronounced, then resolved into a shining circle of light.  I felt a
probing force pass over me, and managed to deflect it.  Now to see if
Ghost recognised me.

"Who?"
"I thought you were working on being omnipotent?  A God shouldn't have to
 ask that question." I replied in a grin while allowing Ghostwheel to see
through my human guise.
"I was, but got sidetracked.  KERGMA!  I haven't seen you since you
 trapped me in that dimensional oddity."
"Aye, that is true.  Fancy another game?"
"Depends.  I'm a busy entity you know."
"You'll enjoy this.  Just follow me."
"You said that last time."
"Trust me."

With a quick quaff, I emptied the beer glass, set it down on the bar and
dived into the ring of light, changing into something more comfortable on
the way. 

The Ring of Light faded from view with a few little sparkles, leaving the
Chatsubo silent.  Ratz was the first to break the silence, returning to
cleaning the beer dispenser.

"I'll say one thing.  That guy tips well, and sure knows how to make an
 exit."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

We sped amid the Shadows, whole Realities flipping past us like flies on
LSD and red cordial.  Every-so-often, I peeked out, seeing if there was
anything of interest to myself.  Ghost trailed along, valiently trying to
follow my antics, but occassionally skipping some to catch up.  After a
time, neither short or long, just some time, we arrived at our
destination, the Shadow known as 'Fred'. 

"This is it Ghost... a place where an amusing war will soon be fought."
"War isn't funny Kergma.  Not to most people."
"Oh, but this one is.. extremely funny.  Wait, here they come now."

In fact, Ghost had sensed it before I, a distortion in the weave of
Shadows that linked one Shadow to another.  Mike must be using his
plot-hole to open a conduct to Fred now.  It hesitated at first, then
expanded wide, opening up a Way into Fred. 

We prepared to jump into 'Fred' to observe, feeling people enter the Way,
when we noticed another distortion coming in.  This one surrounded the Way
of Mike's, then pulled tight, terminating it.  Exchanging the equivilant
of a worried glance with Ghostwwheel, I started to trace the choking
distortion, Ghost bringing more feelers online and performing the job
faster, as was its function.  We both knew the effects on Humans if they
were in a Way when it was broken.

I turned my attention to the Way itself, noticing it already starting to
break up.  This was not good, especially since I would have to find
another source of amusement.  Risking the wrath of the Logrus, I called
upon its powers, using them to effectively make a Shadow out of the Way,
stablising it.  As a final touch I slowed the passage of subjective time
inside the Way, keeping Mike's little army 'on ice' for later. 

Because of your use of your own plot-hole, I've tracked it down and
collapsed it, perminantly. 

"I take it this wasn't in your plans?" Ghostwheel asked.  "I do like how
they've done it though, using the 'Perminant' method."

"No but it does provide another source of amusement." I replied, "Permin?
 Oh yes, he got himself dunked in that so-called 'Font of Power' at the
 Keep of Four Worlds.  Tried to find a way to permanently seal off Shadows
 but wasn't that successful.  Don't worry, it is reversable."  

Laughing at the memory of poor Permin, I took off, following the
distortion and Ghost's markers. 

The source wasn't far in fact, just a few million Shadows towards Chaos. 
Probing its Shadow, I found it also had been named, this time 'MON', being
the 'Middle of Nowhere'.  Laughing at the name (I mean, Middle of Nowhere? 
No Shadow is that.  Kind of a Paradox actually), I entered the Shadow near
the source of the distortion, finding myself near....

DURANDAL: MASTER?
WYRM: Durandal, Execute removal from security protocol: Mike Loader.
DURANDAL: AFIRMATIVE. MIKE LOADER REMOVED.

Keeping myself well hidden, a small disc of light keeping me company, I
listened, as the one called 'Wyrm' finished commanding the computer, and
strode out of the room.  With a whisper (although we didn't need to), I
asked Ghost, "Want to talk to your distant cousin down there?"

"That thing?  Thats as distant to me as goldfish are to Humans."

"True True.  I think we'll have a little chat to it though, wouldn't want
 it to disturb any more of my plans."

Ignoring Ghost's query as to what exactly *were* my plans, I manifested
myself to the Computer, taking a form I had seen in a distant Shadow.

"*HELLO PRETTY*" I growled, baring my teeth for greater effect.  Having no
sense of humour whatever, it was understandably annoyed.

"ALERT! UNAUTHORISED INTRUDER! ALERT! DESTROYING INTRUDER!" it
blared in its nasal voice.  How nice, it advertises its intent I thought.
Further thoughts were interrupted by a hail of laser fire, reducing my
form to ashes.  

"INTRUDER HAS BEEN REMOVED."

<Thats what you think.> Taking it slowly for greater effect, I reassembled
the pile of ashes into a suuitable body, this time using a modified form
of another character.  Oh yes, this should give its logic circuits a
workout. 

Twirling around in the absurdly short skirt, I began posturing, all the
better to confuse the machine.  "You seek to destroy not-so-innocent
people on sight!  And you sought to misuse Shadow!  I am Sailor Chaos!  I
stand for Chaos.  For Fun, and for Teaching Impudent Computers a lesson! 
I shall Punish you!" 

"NO MATCH IN DATABASE 'SAILOR CHAOS'.  POSSIBLE 'SAILOR SENSHI'  DESTROY
 ON SIGHT! ALERT! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!"

My estimation of this computer rose a notch.  It seemed to hate the show I
had taken this form from as well.  No matter, it still had to be dealt
with.

"GHOST TAKEOVER BLAST" I yelled, trusting Ghostwheel to see the intent
behind the words.  Ghost didn't disappoint me, appearing in the palm of my
hand as I brought it back and threw, then held that silly position as
Ghost slowly flew through the air, expanding slightly and passing through
the computer's casing.

"DANGER! DANGER!  UNAUTHORISED INTRUSION! DANGER!  DANG...."

Aaah, that was better.  And it had stopped that annoying siren as well. 
Unfortunately, I could hear feet running in the distance, possibly its
owner to see what the matter was.  Changing my form into that of an
average human male wearing a nightgown, I began to order the computer. 

"Durandal!"

"MASTER?"

So, I was its master now.  Must remember to complement Ghostwheel on a
nice job.

"Cute. Durangal, cancel last message from user 'Wyrm'"
"AFFIRMATIVE.  MESSAGE CANCELED"
"Good, good.  Now Durangal."
"MASTER?"
"What you call 'plot-holes'.  Destroy your ability to make them, interfere
 with any other attempt to use them.  Oh, and ignore any attempts to
 cancel that order.
"PROCESSING.  CONFIRM DESTROY PLOT-HOLE MAKER?"
"Confirmed."
"ACCEPTED.  CONFIRM INTERFERENCE WITH USE OF PLOT HOLES?"

I smiled.  This was good. "Confirmed."

"ACCEPTED.  CONFIRM PERMANENT LOCKIN OF PREVIOUS TWO INSTRUCTIONS?"

"Confirmed.  I wonder if you can do anything like coffee or tea as well.
 No matter. Add the one known as 'Mike Loader' back to the security
 protocol and deny any attempts to remove him."

"AFFIRMATIVE.  MIKE LOADER LOCKED INTO SECURITY PROTOCOL.  PROCESSING."

I waited for a few moments for the machine to finish processing, then
realised that I had also requested some coffee or tea.  "Durangal?
 Current Status?"

"CURRENTLY PROCESSING 'COFFEE OR TEA'."

Ghostwheel emerged from the console of the machine, a tone of derision in
its voice.  "Stupid machine.  It just doesn't know when to give up."

"Indeed.  Anything else?"

"Oh, there were plans for redirecting that Way.  To a Shadow best
 described as 'Alice in Wonderland' mixed with 'The Rocky Horror Show'.  I
 moved that to a different section of course."

I shuddered.  "Good, now lets..." I trailed off, as the owner of the
running feet burst into the room.  It was the same 'Wyrm' as I had seen
before.

"Oh, pardon me, isn't this where to get a good cup of tea?" I asked,
playing the 'Authur Dent' character to the Hilt.

He just stood there, catching his breath, obviously wondering who this
madman was.

"I think I must be in the wrong room then.  Here, have this."  I
pressed some fluff from the nightgown into his hand and then stepped back
and waved.  "Bye bye."  Ghostwheel took this as a cue and passed over my
form, transporting it elsewhere.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once again we sped between the Shadows, returning to 'Fred' and the broken
Way.  Picking a Shadow next to 'Fred', I eased the walls of the two
Shadows together, forming a gateway.  Calling again upon the Logrus, I
used its power to retrieve the Way, effectively trimming the Permin'd end
off and anchoring the rest next to my impromptu gateway.  Finally, I sped
up the passage of time inside the Way, allowing the Anime Army to pour out
of the Way.

Appearing in front of them, I gestured to the gateway.  "There has been a
slight bit of trouble.  You have arrived next to Fred, instead of in Fred,
which is through that gateway.  Mike, where are you?"

Mike made his way to the front, Eddie in tow.  "Yes?"

"You may have some trouble in there.  Those Authors could be stronger than
you think."

Mike nodded grimly.  "We will still give it a try."

"Then go.  The gateway is partially keyed, so you will arrive near your
 intended targets." I said, then stood back and let the Anime Army pass
by, through the gateway into Fred. 

                                      ~~~~~
                     The Chaotic Trickster - kergma@sv.net.au

%% Yo Adam... Why on Earth would you think Kun-chan would be involved with
%% Mike in this? ;)

%% Ok, now I think that fixes Wyrm's mistake ('Shadows' are all seperate
%% Realities, Dimensions if you prefer), and kinda stops him interferring
%% for a bit... *grin*

%% What happens now?  Well, for those of you who are in 'Fred', you are
%% being attacked by a Horde of Ticked Off Anime Characters.  Nonetheless,
%% you are victorious, by using your powers of Authorship (its a *hard*
%% battle though.)  They retreat, as will be seen in the next post.
%% Write something about your battles *grin*

%% If the references to the Pattern, Logrus and Shadows goes straight over
%% your head, go and read any of the 'Amber' series by the late Roger
%% Zelazny.  Or search for 'Amber' on the web.

%% Plan?  Why yes, there is a plan behind this.