Goodbye Ranma!
Bye Michael Chen (aka Zenki)
michael.h.chen@yale.edu

This is the third installment...(I can feel the end coming near...)


Part 7: Ranma learns fast.
[Ranma and Loong Chi are once again sparring.  This time Loong Chi is
completely focused, and is gradually wearing out Ranma.  Ranma, out of
desparation decides to attempt the Virtuous Lightning Fist....]

Ranma
	[Pauses to collect his energy.  He begins to image that all of his
strength and ki are concentrated in his right hand.] Virtuous Lightning
Fist!!!!!!!!

[His right hand explodes with bright energy.  Loong Chi is completely
surprised and ducks his punch.  Ranms's fist makes contact with the wall,
and the energy blows a giant 5ft diameter crater in the wall.]

Loong Chi
	Ahhhh! Ranma you learn quickly!!!  [She attacks!] Harmonious Dragon
Voice!!!!!!! [From her shout, a concentrated stream of ki flies toward
Ranma.]

Ranma
	[surprised, tries to block the attack with his hands] Kachu Tenshin
Amaguriken!!!!  [Ranma's hands flash back and forth so fast, that his hands
becomes a shield that blocks the attack.  Ranma slumps to the ground in
agony.]

Loong Chi
	[worried rushes up, and instantly heals Ranma with her magic]  Come on, I
guess we can spend more time practicing and learning.

[The continue to fight together, and Loong Chi constantly comments and
gives instructions.]

Part 8: Kuno and Kodachi get involved.
[While the Tendo's, Genma, Cologne, Shampoo, and Mousse plan, they
constantly run against a wall.  How do we get to China.  Almost
coincidentally, a person knocked the door.  Kasumi opens the door.]

[Kuno and Kodachi enter the room]
Kuno
	Akane, my dearest love.  I, as your honorable lover, shall rejoice with
you on the loss of the evil Ranma!  [He grabs Akane, and kisses her!]

Akane
	[Pushing Kuno away from her]  Off of me you dolt!

Kodachi
	How dare you make fun of Ranma's prediciment!!!!

[Both Akane and Kodachi pick up mallets, and beat Kuno]

Genma
	[sobbing] Oh my son! Taken away by a princess.  He's probably enjoying
himself, eating rich and tasty foods.....[sob]

[Kuno, who really isn't a bad guy, sees Genma crying, and both Akane and
Kodachi wielding mallets, comes to a logical safe conclusion.]
Kuno
	I, Knuo, although against my better judgement, shall help the Tendo's and
Saotome reclaim lost Ranma.  I shall aquire our means of transportation. 
Meet me at the docks in one hour.

[Kuno goes running off, with Kodachi following him.]

[Later at the docks, everyone sees that Kuno did not mess up this time, and
he aquired a decent motorboat.  Everyone piles in, and the boat casts off.]

Part 9: The Boat Journey
[Kuno turns on the engine, and has the boat moving at a respectable speed. 
Everyone else is in the cabin below.]

Akane
	Anyone hungry? [In her hands are the smoking remains of a fish, seasoned
who knows what.]

Soun
	Oh, no Akane, your father is not hungry....

Genma
	umm, heehee, I'm not hungry...

[Kuno walks down, and sees Akane's cooking.]

Kuno
	I'd be delighted to sample some of your cooking.  [He swallows a
bit......and falls on the floor choking...] It's *gasp* good.  [He passes
out.]

Soun
	Why didn't I ask Kasumi to come?

Akane 
	I heard you!!!!!  Here have some.... [She shoves some in front of Soun. 
He reluctantly swallows it....]

Soun
	Arrgh! [He runs out of the cabin and leans over the side of the boat....]

[Much later....]

Part 10: China, Cologne visits the Amazons for help.
[Kuno, Kodachi, Cologne, Shampoo, Mousse, Akane, Ukyou, Genma, and Soun are
outside the Amazon village.  Cologne has called together a meeting and is
conferring about the seriousness of the situation.  Happosai is boggle-eyed
at the beautiful woman.  After a couple minutes, Cologne appears with three
Amazons.]

Cologne
	These excellent huntresses are Gel, Conditioner, and Hairspray.  They have
been recruited to come with us to help the search for Ranma...

[Conditioner is looking at Mousse, who smiles back.]

[Happosai who's attracted to these woman comes forth and wedges himself
into Gel's soft and ample chest, his hands groping you-know-what...]

Happosai
	Come here my pretty, Happosai wants your underwear!  Heehee!

[Gel screams, extracts Happosai with difficulty and throws him at a tree. 
She jumps up and starts to beat the stuffing out of him...  Happosai is
dazed...]

Happosai
	My, no underwear....[Faints.]

Kuno
	[Nods approvingly] Methinks that such treatment is proper for an old man
who is uncouth like Happosai.

[After dinner, and settling down to sleep, all is quiet........]

Gel
	Ah!!!!!! You old evil man!!!!! [She unleashes 30 spears at Happosai, who's
lugging a huge sack filled with Amazonian panties and bras.  Behind Gel, a
huge contingent of voluptuous women are brandishing swords,maces, bori
bori's, flails, bow and arrows, and spears are charging.....]

Happosai
	[Holding up Gel's panties, which resemble tiger skin.]  My precious!
[Starts running.  He bounces through a tent, running around the sleeping
forms of Soun, Genma, Ryoga, and Kuno.  The women trample down the
tent......]

Gel, Conditioner, and Hairspray
	[stomping on the struggling forms of Genma, Kuno, Ryoga, and Soun......] 
Die you evil old man... Die.... We'll crush you to death.  Die!!!!!!!!!11

[Eventually, the women stop their attack, and clear away the destroyed
tent.  They see the left overs of Genma, Soun, Ryoga, and Kuno.  Happosai
disappeared....]

Gel
	Oh my, I'm sorry... [The women tend to the still shaking bodies of Genma,
Soun, and Kuno.]

Part 11: Ranma dreaming.
[After an exhausting practice and dinner, Ranma is in his plush bed,
sleeping.  Loong Chi who's completely enamored with him, sneaks into the
room.  Ranma's having a dream...]

Ranma
	[In the dream.....] Akane!  I really want to talk to you....

Akane
	[Looking really angry]  Ranma! How could you!!!!!!!

Ranma
	What have I done?  I really....

[Simultaneously, all of Ranma's fiances appear and start to grab him...
Except for Akane...]

Akane
	See!!!!! You are the most unfaithful scumbag I know!!!!!  You've left me
for some women you've never even met.  You don't even compare to Kuno.... I
never want to see you at all....[ She punches Ranma really hard.  He goes
down groping his face....]

Ranma
	[Tries to run after Akane.  It's hard because Shampoo's around his left
leg.  Ukyou is feeding him, and Kodachi has tied herself to Ranma!]
Akane!! Akane!! I love you.....

[Loong Chi hears this and her eyes start to water....]

Loong Chi
	I have taken Ranma from his true love....... I should return him, but I
love him too....  I can't bear to hear him suffer, even my magic love
pendant can not assuage his mind....  
[She leaves the room in tears...]

[Back to the dream...]
Ranma
	Akane! [Stumbling]  Please stop....I love you!!!!

[Akane stops and turns around....  She smiles wickedly....She slowly turns
into a giant cat...... and grips Ranma with her clawed hands.....]

Ranma
	Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Loong Chi returns with a bottle in her hands.  It's formula 110,
Improved!]

Loong Chi
	Ranma! Wake up!  [Ranma still struggling]

Ranma
	No Akane, I love you, I really, I don't want to.  Ahh!!!!!!!

[Loong Chi empties a pail of ice cold water on Ranma...]

Ranma-chan
	Waaaa!!!! I'm c-cc-c-cold!!!! Loong Chi, why are you here?

Loong Chi
	I want to wash your hair.... if that's alright with you......

Ranma-chan
	[Appears a little confused, but agrees]  Ok.  Whatever will make you
happy...


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