"Ring, ring..."
  "Ring, ring..."
  "Ring, ring..."
  <CLICK>

     Hello, you have reached Shallow 15, the FFML's leading research lab
into the properties of Bullshit Physics. I'm afraid we're all out of the lab at
the moment, either off testing some new device or possibly inflicting
great vengance and furious anger upon certian fictional characters who
shall remain nameless.
     Or, perhaps, I've blown the place up again and only the answering
machine and the phone survived. Anyway, if you'd like to leave your
name and a dimension where you can be contacted , kindly speak when
you hear the tone. Thank you.

    <BEEP>

----

     "Don't you talk back to me, you ruddy liberal ruddy piece of ruddy tin,
what?"

           ---Rudd Hardtack, "Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam"