Lawrence, Kansas - 24 hrs til posting and falling
-------------------------------------------------
Mike sat on the porch and smiled. Things were going nicely. He didn't
think anyone had even _noticed_ the huge, wide-open clue in his responce
to Travis's C&C. Oh well. They had their chance.
But now....time to make things a bit more interes.....
"OI AM NOT A *punch* "BROAD", YOU LITTLE HENTAI!"
"Aw, come on toots....hey, put da bottle down...*thunksmash*"
He sighed. Fixing this little mess was going to be a problem. How on
earth Frito had gotten hold of that Jusenkyo Springs Cooler was a question
he really wanted to have answered.
"ARGH! KEEP IT DOWN! I WANT THIS REVIEW FINISHED BEFORE THE NEXT ICE
AGE!"
Mike grinned again, and placed an order to Fred for a plot-hole.
This was the tough part, he knew. If Wyrm, or anyone near him, had read
the little scene on the balcory, well....he had a snowball's chance in
hell of getting a plot hole. On the other hand, if the post had gone
unread, Wyrm had no reason _not_ to give it to him. After all, he was an
author who had faced down the evil enemy.....
He laughed. That had been a poke in the eye to the Animites. Only fair
to return the favor.
They'd call him a traitor and turncoat, and they'd be right. Though not
for the reasons they, or the Animites for that matter, thought.
A beep on the laptop signaled incoming mail. He opened it.
Date: Sat, 5 Oct 1996 12:57:56 +0100
From: Thomas R Jefferys <wyrm@mail.utexas.edu>
To: "Mike W. Loader" <mloader@scs.unr.edu>
Subject: Re: Oi!
Request use of Plot-hole for purpose of war. All measures
will be taken to insure safe usage. Please respond soonest.
Request granted. Plot-hole sent. Realize that I will be
watching.
> ---------------------
-wyrm/dm(AKA Tom Jefferys; Time Lord for Hire, "Have
TARDIS; Will Travel.")
<wyrm@mail.utexas.edu>
"Watching. I sincerely hope you are."
He grinned, and summoned the plot hole. Time to make things
_really_ interesting. Withdrawing a pasteboard card, he
concentrated on it, feeling it grow cool to the touch. Within
seconds, the man painted on it came to life.
"We are go for assault. Status on your end?"
"Eureka! I've found it," said the man, Australian accent
pronounced.
"A second way into Fred? How?"
"Take the 762587236578th Shadow after the Pattern and
turn left."
"Very good. I doubt the plot holes will be an option after
this little foray."
"I could always crash it again, but it would be hard....
*silence for a few moments*. Ready?"
"Ready. Meet you in Fred."
"See you there... Let's do it."
The card went still.
That done, he stepped through the plot-hole and into another
place. A blank grey plain, it appeared; blank but not empty. The
cast of Ranma 1/2, Robotech and their Macross counterparts,
A!MG, Tenchi, and over 23 others were assembled upon it.
Mike smiled at them. "Hello, fellow Revenging Characters."
Some smiled back. Others (most prominently Ranma and Co.)
looked as though they would just as soon see him dead.
"I have it."
A collective sigh went up from the assembled host.
"A plot hole. Gateway to Fred. The home of the Author's
resistance. And yours for the taking."
The air of predatory eagerness was so thick that you could
cut it with a knife.
"And, of course, they'd beat the %&^% out of you. Being
Authors, they can write in incredibly powerful weapons and
lucky twists of fate. You wouldn't stand a chance."
Silence. Then Ranma stepped forward. "However...?"
"Meet your countermeasure."
Mike typed a few lines, and in stepped a figure of blinding
glory. The assembled characters fought the urge to fall to
their knees.
Ukyo, Nabiki, and Shampoo spoke at almost the same time.
"Why do I feel a sudden urge to marry this person?"
Mike grinned. "This is the Undocumented Twisted Chinese
Samurai, Eddie Von Crys. He's the condensed total of Otakufic
protagonists. Even if he is clearly outclassed, outnumbered,
outfought, or even just plain dead, he'll still win. All while
solving everyone's problems in a wise and benevolent fashion."
Eddie gave everyone a winning smile, and immediately
became Ranma and Ryoga's best friend.
"He's your weapon against them. If any author decides to
indulge his ego and wipe you all out with a flick of the pen and
a stupidly powerful device, Eddie will undo his efforts a post
later."
Eddie flexed his muscles, and solved Ranma and Akane's
relationship troubles by explaining that they truly love each
other.
"In fact, the more omnipotent and all-knowing they make
themselves, the stronger Eddie gets. He lives and breathes off
ego and easy resolutions to problems. On the flip side, if they
stay within the bounds of reason, Eddie'll be too weak to do
much good. But what are the chances of that, eh?"
Eddie posed, and casually defeated half the characters in
the room in hand-to-hand combat.
Mike winced. "I've created a monster."
Ranma nodded. "Authors are good at that."
"Right. Are we ready?"
A thunderous roar was his reply.
"Prepare for woe, ye Fanfic lords,
at once we go Fredwards!
Forward to glory, Animite hordes,
let Authors fall to Anime's swords!"
And with this mangling of Gilbert and Sullivan, Mike opened
the plot hole to Fred as wide as possible, which was a couple
of klicks.
The astounded authors on the other side ceased their
training, just in time for SDFs 1,2,3, and 23 to open fire. The
Yamato, assorted Invid, Zentradi, and others followed suit.
With a roar, the Revenging Characters leaped through the
plot hole and into Fred. A furious melee began....
-----------------=Mysterious Trenchcoated Figure=-----------------------
Official Revenging Character, Co-Sponsor of The Treacherous Invasion Of
Fred. Author. Resistance Is Useless. Forth The Jihad. Fnord.
----------------------------=END .SIG=----------------------------------