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WWW WWW yrm dropped out of the plot-hole into another universe.
Like all the other times, he had to do something very important. If not
dealt with, it could mean the end of the ALF, as always. He lifted his arm,
flipping open its face to reveal a small viewscreen.
He taped on one of the keys below the viewscreen. "Wyrm calling MON,
Wyrm calling MON; Do you read me, MON?"
A voice came from the communicator band, the voice of the mainframe
computer supervising Middle Of Nowhere, Durandal. "ACKNOWLEDGED,
ADMIN-WYRM," it said in its monotonisic fashion.
"Connect me with Alpha C," he ordered quietly into the communicator.
"ACKNOWLEDGED," came the final voice. And then it suddenly changed into
a more inflected voice and a not-so-happyface appeared on the screen. It
happened to have a bunch of bruises and bandaids, and a couple of his teeth
were missing. "*Heya, Wyrm! Thanks a bunch for pulling me outta there!*"
Centauri gasped.
Wyrm blinked with some surprise at him. Then he smiled. "Been trying to
make some passes at Leela again?" he asked, already knowing the answer, but
wanting to hear Centauri's explainations anyway. Leela was one of the two
resident AIs residing in the Durandal mainframe, the other being Tycho.
The demented, not to mention dented, AI grinned sheepishly. "*Uh,
yeah... Why'dja have to make her look like Leona, anyway?*"
"Why? Doncha *like* cute redheads?"
"*I like 'em fine...IT'S THE AMAZON YOU CALL AN AI THAT I HAVE A
PROBLEM WITH!*" shouted the damaged scource.
Suddenly, he was surrounded by sparks and random bits. A cybernetic
attack. Centauri screamed with pain and hurt and breakup and more pain. A
voice, very cute, came over the comm. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN AMAZON,
PERV!?!" Leela shrieked.
Wyrm grinned wickedly. "Listen, you two. We gotta block off the Archive
from being used by Wyrm."
"*But I thought YOU were Wyrm!*" asked Centauri.
"I meant Wyrm of Gallifrey, my half-Time Lord, half-Zoalord Avitar from
'Rascal Files'. Remember the briefing?" Wyrm explained.
The face screwed up in thought, growing a hand to scratch its chin. "*I
donno. Musta been surfin' at the time.*" Suddenly, he smiled wickedly and
asked, "*Is he the one that you hit with your 'field-generator
Nyanniichuan' via his good friend AniMan?*"
Wyrm nodded, sighing. "Yep, he's the one!"
Centauri's grin became wider. "*Is 'she' the one who you got drunk and
'she' and AniMan had...*"
"YES!!" Wyrm shouted, cursing his hentai nature then and there. What in
the world made him do _that_? "Wyrm's gonna kill me for that!" he mumbled.
"How very observant, Wyrm, or should I say, Tom Jefferys!" came a
female voice behind him. Wyrm froze; he knew that voice. It was the voice
he imagined the first incarnation of Wyrm of Gallifrey's female half to
sound like. He turned to face a female, red-haired version of himself.
"Ehehhhh!" he groaned.
"*WOAH!* <*Engage Cute Redhead Subroutine!*> Hiyah, cutie! Wanna go
cyber and party?*" Centauri drooled over the cutie.
The young woman twisted his face in disgust as Wyrm shouted, "Listen,
do you WANT me to dunk you in cold water?!"
"*Erm...No thanks!*" Centauri shrinked. <*Disengage Cute Redhead
Subroutine*>
Wyrm turned a sheepish grin back to his efemmed counterpart. "Um,
listen, I'm sorry about the way you lost your virginity, but..." he
stammered.
"SHUT UP!" Wyrm-chan railed, "You're gonna PAY for what ya done ta me!"
She pulled out the biggest, most damnedest MALLET he'd ever seen and
slammed down with it. Wyrm dodged. "Stay still!" she shouted.
"NO WAY!" he called back, and ran. Wyrm-chan followed, screaming.
"Centauri! Open a plot-hole! Quick!" shouted Wyrm.
"*C'mon! I'd kill to be in your position! Being chased by a busty young
girl... EYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!*" He was assaulted by another
cyberattack.
Leela appeared on the screen again. "Open the plot-hole, buster!" she
sneered.
"*Okay, okay... Stay still for a minute, willya?*"
"STAND STILL!!?" Wyrm yelped, looking back over his shoulder at a
Wyrm-chan in RAGE (Really Angry, Get EMS!). "WHEN I GET THROUGH WITH YOU,
THERE WILL ONLY BE ONE WYRM, WYRM OF GALLIFREY!"
Centauri gave a perhaps serious look, and said, "*I ain't good at this,
y'know...*"
"You'd better not get me hurt!"
"*Don't worry!*"
Wyrm screeched to a halt, allowing Wyrm-chan to close the gap between
them. He prayed Centauri would hurry up and open the damned plot-hole.
Wyrm-chan was now almost right on top of him, rearing back to mallet him
into oblivion.
Looking at her, Wyrm could not help but think of his .sig character of
the same name, wondering if this was what she would look like.
Then the plot-hole opened.
*CRASH!*
Wyrm groaned, regaining consciousness as the bright flash of light
faded. He opened his eyes, sat up and looked around. He recognized this
area; it was one of the control areas of MON.
That meant that he was safe. He shook his head, trying to clear the
jumble that had clung stubbornly to his rattled mind. He thought back over
his memories, remembering times of joy and pain, studying at Guilford, then
at the Prydonian Academy on Gallifrey... Wyrm's eyes widened considerably
at that. "What the heck!?"
A groan sounded next to him, like his own but light and feminine. He
looked and buldged his eyes in some alarm that his other half was here with
him... Wait! HIS other half? This is Wyrm of Gallifrey's other half. I AM
Wyrm of Gallifrey. "What the HELL IS GOING ONNNNN!!!!" he roared.
That woke up the girl besides him. She shook out her head and asked, "Wyrm?"
Wyrm looked at her with some alarm. At first, he felt fear that she
would turn him into a Tom-pancake. But something made him think that this
would no longer be the case. The woman smiled sweetly, which surprised
Wyrm.
She streached, getting to her feet and testing her lithe muscles. "Nice
to have my own body...Eh, Wyrm?" she said, her voice lighter than he
remembered the female form of Wyrm-chan using before. More suited to a
woman.
"um.. are you alright? I know you've been trying to kill me, but you
are my Avitar and all..."
Wyrm-chan let out a peal of pleasant-sounding, efeminite laughter. "Oh,
Wyrm! I'm not your Avitar...I'm your ANIMA!"
This took him a couple of seconds to think over, but when he did, the
answer struck him. "Wyrm-CHAN?! As in my .sig?!" he asked. At her nod, he
continued increduloulsly, "But how...?" *WHAP!* "DUH! The plot-hole! I was
thinking about how Wyrm-chan would look... It must have interpreted it to
mean that I wanted my Anima in that body. It then transfered the Time Lord
memories into my mind."
"I think it did more than that, Wyrm..." Wyrm-chan grinned.
Wyrm blinked. "You mean..." At her nod, he directed his voice at the
computer. "Durandal. Identify."
"YOU IDENTIFY AS ADMIN-WYRM," the voice said back.
"Durandal, scan my biology and report what you find."
A green light emerged from one of the many sensor-suites in the
hallway, landing on him. A few seconds passed as the light swooped across
Wyrm's body. Then the light cut out and Durandal made its report.
"ADMIN-WYRM IDENTIFIES AS SPECIES HALF-GALLIFREYAN/HALF-ZOALORD. SUBJECT
HAS BEEN INFECTED WITH THE OMEGA-2 VIRUS." It reported. It still classified
him as Wyrm because it knew of Jyusenkyo curses, chosing features that
would translate across sexes and species.
"How about Wyrm-chan...er, this woman here," Wyrm corrected himself.
Durandal did not know about Wyrm-chan.
The same thing occured to a bemused Wyrm-chan. When it was over,
Durandal reported. "SUBJECT WYRM-CHAN IDENTIFIES AS THE SAME CURRENT
GENETIC MAKEUP AS ADMIN-WYRM, SAVE THE MISSING Y-CHROMASOME AND EXTRA X.
BIOLOGY IDENTIFIES AS THE SAME BIOLOGICAL STRUCTURE AS ADMIN-WYRM, EXCEPT
THAT IT IS FEMALE."
Wyrm smiled wryly. "Well, I coulda told you the last part."
Wyrm-chan smiled. "I'll take that as a complement!"
"*WOAH! WHO'S THE BABE!?!*" yelped a horny cybernetic intelligence.
Centauri, Wyrm and Wyrm-chan thought simultaneously.
A while later, Centauri was left an almost derezzed mess in the
computer core... "*Whatta woman!*" he grated, and crashed.
********************************************************************************
END LOG
NOTES: This takes place before "The Rescue of Skywise." It explains how I
become a Time Lord and how Wyrm-chan comes into existence. The long and the
short of it is that when Wyrm-chan and I were traveling through the plot
hole, it transfered Wyrm-chan's memories and personality into me, merging
them, and displaced my Anima into her, leaving us with aliases to each
other's anima and animus. It also changed my biology to match Wyrm-chan's.
---------------------
-wyrm/dm(AKA Tom Jefferys; Time Lord for Hire, "Have TARDIS; Will Travel.")
<wyrm@mail.utexas.edu> <JEFFERYSTR@rascal.guilford.edu>
Member of the AFSS Depraived Kawaii Thing of the First Order, Martin
=<SIG>= Wyrm-chan @_@ H-Wyrm @_@ Ten @_@ Chibi-Usa @_@ Azusa =</SIG>=
=<^_^>= R1/2#_#BGC#_#Sailor Moon#_#Dr Who#_#Star Trek#_#Monty Python =</^_^>=
Currently operating at <wyrm@middle.of.nowhere.void> for the time being
"DINSDALE!!!" -Spiny Norman
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let@p-chan.tardis-12Kdl.tardis.net.gal!dragon-mage@boiler.guilford.com!wyrm@
mail.utexas.edu
Childras, the <wyrm@mail.utexas.edu> Mailbox Deamon
Still trapped in Eternal Crystal and loving it!