JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ
JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ
JJ JJJ JJ
JJJ -------
JJJ W Y R M
JJJ
JJJ To Use a Plot-Hole...
JJJ -------
JJ JJJ
JJJ JJJ
JJJJJJJ
JJJJ esX was looking quite pleased with himself, grandeose thoughts
filling his head. *Look out Anime Characters, JesX the Revenge Ruinator is
here!!!!!!* his triumphant mental shout screamed over the psiwaves. Perhaps
that is what drew his next visitor to him.
The man felt his heckles rise as he thought... no, KNEW something was
going wrong. He turned to find a dark crackling mass of SOMETHING behind
him. He looked with more alarm as someONE stepped out of the swirling
thing, which snapped closed and sparked for a second.
The visitor was blonde, his long hair pulled into a ponytail, wearing
lavender-rimmed specticles, a blue tee over a plaid shirt and blue jeans.
He also happened to be appearing very angry. Specifically at him.
He started forward, stomping, not letting JesX miss the fire in his
eyes. Well, he seemed familiar for some reason, but he didn't remember why.
*Well, worry about that later,* he thought to, who else, himself, *He
doesn't look very happy, and he _certainly_ doesn't look very happy at me.*
JesX looked around, but didn't find anything that he could absorb
energy from. None availed themselves. Nor did this person seem to be intent
on using any ki-techniques, intending just to smash him to a pulp.
Eyes lighting up, JesX remembered the TPH, and activated it with a grin
on his face. He stopped grinning and paled as the TPH just sputtered. *That
can't be! A plot-hole is impossible to--* his thoughts were cut short as
the stranger had reached him and grabbed a handfull of JesX's shirt. JesX
filled with fear as the young man pulled him up so that they were now
face-to-face.
"*SLAP!* DON'T *SLAP!* YOU *SMACK!* EVER *WHAP!* MIS-*SMEK!*-USE
*SLAPPITY!* A *SLAP!* PLOT-*SLAP!*-HOLE *SMACK!* LIKE *BAP!* THAT *BII!*
A-*BADAP!*-GAIN! *SLAP!*" he shouted as the stranger proceeded to give him
two evil welts on both cheeks.
Blinking the swirls out of his eyes (@_@ >_< @_@ >_< @_@ >_< O_O), JesX
looked more carefully at his assaulter. It was then he remembered about the
lavander-rimmed glasses. "Wyrm?" he hazzarded.
"The same," Wyrm grated. He then started shaking him and yelling, "YOU
BAKA YOU ALMOST LED WASHUU STRAIGHT TO FRED YOU STUPID MORONIC
IRRISPONSIBLE STUPID IDIOTIC STUPID COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT FRANKENSTEIN
WANNABE *STUPID* BASTARD! DID I MENTION YOU WERE STUPID!?!"
"WOAH! Wyrm, calm down!" JesX shouted despirately. Wyrm stopped shaking
him, but still held him in an iron grip. "So I used a plot-hole. Big deal!"
"BIG DEAL!?!!!?!!" Wyrm roared. "Do you _REALIZE_ that a plot-hole
emits large amounts of litrotropic radiation? Radiation that the Animates
can use to lock onto Fred's signature?! A signature they can use to enter
Fred and overrun it with Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts of Traal?! *BBAAAAPPP!*
A PLOT-HOLE IS LIKE A LIGHTHOUSE BEACON! You might as well have handed
Washuu the map to the base of our ENTIRE operation and ask them over for
tea! I'D say that was a big deal!"
Wyrm's chest was heaving, his face red, and his eyes full of fire. He
was also trembling. Trembling with fear. He dropped JesX ("Ouch!") and
began taking deep breaths to calm himself down.
JesX shook himself out, trying to regain his feet and balance. "But you
use them all the time, Wyrm," he griped.
"Sure I do! I know about the plot-hole's strengths better than
anyone's. I also know its limitations. Plot-holes are DANGEROUS! I use them
responsibly; I know and practice all the precautions when I do use them.
But you..." Wyrm gritted his teeth. "That was like juggling fourteen armed
hairtrigger MX missles with one hand tied behind your back and dead drunk
off your ass when you can't even juggle ONE ball."
JesX shrinked. *They're THAT dangerous?!* he thought incredulously.
*Damn! I should've known there would be a catch!* "But she didn't _catch_
me, did she?" he reasoned.
"She almost DID, you moron! Wonder how the Knight Sabres were able to
track you down so easily? You were keeping your plot-hole open too long,
Washuu noticed, and sent them after you!" Wyrm explained. "If I hadn't been
covering your baka ass, then she would've cut you off at Stormwalker's
front porch and forced it from you! I was at my wits end to just barely
spoof your signal, slowing Washuu's lock on, but I can only do that when
I'm at the controls."
"She wouldnt've taken it," JesX said confidently, crossing his arms.
Wyrm narrowed his eyes dangerously. "You're as bad as Ranma..." he
murmured. "Listen, you saw how easily I shut up your little terror, right?"
"Right?"
"Your powers are _childsplay_ to nullify compared to that. I could do
it in my sleep...Washuu could do it with a tealeaf and some spit," Wyrm
childed. "JesX, if I ever catch you opening that thing again, I'll collapse
it around you, got that?" Wyrm's anger dissippated for the first time, and
he cracked a grin. "Unless, of course, you'll allow me to teach you to use
the thing responsibly..." he added.
JesX, who felt previously like a child being scholded for setting fire
to the cat, perked up. "No shit?"
"No shit," Wyrm replied.
JesX's answer was immediate. "Alright!"
*******************************************************************************
END LOG
Notes:
I noticed that JesX was majorly misusing the plot-hole, and so wrote this
response. I trust that you still want to continue using the plot hole,
right JesX? In that case, here are the Rules that I gave Onnawulf:
"First, ***NEVER*** let it fall into Washuu's hand, even if it means your
life. If you do, we're _all_ fucked with chainsaws!
"Second, NEVER let any untrustworthy Animate possess it or enter it. It
could get nasty.
"Third, keep its use to an absolute minimum. Activation times should be
kept to three seconds or less idealy. Any longer will bring anime goons
into the area (Ranma and the like, ect; Washuu will tell them to look out
for it. GET OUTTA THERE QUICK!!). After six seconds, Washuu herself will
probably come in.
"Forth, never use it within X miles distance within any activation more
recent than 2X hours, with X defined as the sum of the activation times.
Ie, its 'signaling' is culmative.
"Fifth, even inactive like this, Washuu can still sniff it out, except that
it's on the order of days instead of seconds. So...
"Sixth, keep moving it around; a different spot each day. That keeps her
guessing. Don't keep it within a mile of where you activate it. Finally,
Washuu can use a intradimensional scanner to trace its resonance signature
to Middle Of Nowhere, thus...
"Seventh, DO NOT EVER USE IT WHEN SHE'S IN THE SAME UNIVERSE AS YOU!"
I create plot-holes as I need them, and I rarely store them in inactive
form. These rules change a bit when in microverses like Fred or MON where
the universal signature constant is being actively spoofed. Inactive, it
can be stored indefinitely without Washuu being able to trace it. She also
takes her minutes instead of seconds to pass each of the benchmarks, and
she can't send any agents after you.
But anyway, JesX needs to use them like they sould be used. Sorry, Jes', I
created the damn thing; I get to say how it behaves.
I hope this doesn't put _too_ much of a crimp on your fics. If you want, I
can act as technical consultant to your fics where plot-holes are involved.
By, all!
---------------------
-wyrm/dm(AKA Tom Jefferys; Time Lord for Hire, "Have TARDIS; Will Travel.")
<wyrm@mail.utexas.edu> <JEFFERYSTR@rascal.guilford.edu>
Member of the AFSS Depraived Kawaii Thing of the First Order, Martin
=<SIG>= Wyrm-chan @_@ H-Wyrm @_@ Ten @_@ Chibi-Usa @_@ Azusa =</SIG>=
=<^_^>= R1/2#_#BGC#_#Sailor Moon#_#Dr Who#_#Star Trek#_#Monty Python =</^_^>=
Currently operating at <wyrm@middle.of.nowhere.void> for the time being
"DINSDALE!!!" -Spiny Norman
****************************************************************************
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