Subject: [FFML][Middle Of Nowhere Force] The Rescue of Skywise
From: wyrm@mail.utexas.edu (Thomas R Jefferys)
Date: 10/4/1996, 6:59 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

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SSS         SS                       W   Y   R   M
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 SSSSSSSSSS                      The Rescue of Skywise
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   SSSSSSSS kywise watched with crushing apathy as the world went by before
her eyes. Although really male, he had a prior encounter with the Dark
Shadowy Figure, who had cursed him to a her by Jyusenkyo water.

    Then, along comes Ami (AKA Sailor Mercury) and the Vampire Princess
Miyu, with some bone to pick with him/her. Ami objected to him giving him
an A-, of all things, and Miyu was mad at him for trying to kill Larva. At
first, s/he was going to be sic'ed by the Overfiend, but Miyu had a better
idea, biting Skywise and usurping his/her creativity and the will to live.
Thus, Skywise didn't give a rat's ass that she was still female.

    Everything looked insanely hopeless for Skywise. Ami and Miyu had heard
rumors of his/her rescue, so they came back to check up. Still sitting
there even after three days, catatonic, female, and nonchalant about the
whole deal, Ami and Miyu were quite satisfied that the rescue hadn't
occured yet.

    "Ami-chan," Miyu began. In their search for Skywise, and his/her
subsequent punishment, Ami and Miyu had begun a relationship that had blown
into a full-fledged friendship in their combined quest. "Do you think that
the rumors are true?"

    Ami replied, "Can we afford not to take it seriously?"

    "I guess not."

    Someone knocked at the door. "Miyu?" came a whispering voice.

    Miyu perked up... well, as much as Miyu got perked up over anything, at
the sound of the voice. She knew it for a damn long time. "Larva!" She
stepped just above the floor and glided to the door. She opened it to
reveal a cloaked figure wearing a frightful mask. One eye was glowing,
almost nervously by the look of it.

    "Miyu...Washuu believes that a rescue attempt on Skywise might be soon
in coming," came the almost-shaking voice.

    "I heard rumors, but if Washuu belives it true, then there will almost
certainly be done," Miyu mused. Long disused fear centers activated as she
realized something: If Larva was afraid, then there must be serious
business afoot. "Did she tell you who?"

    "Nothing is certain," Larva explained, "But best intelligence suggests
that Wyrm might attempt the rescue."

    "WYRM?!" Ami gasped. "He's the one that released the Wild Cards virus
into one of the Ranmaverses, isn't he?!" THe Wild Cards virus caused humans
to mutate, in most cases causing death. In a few, freakish physical
deformities result. In rare and lucky handfuls, they cause spectacular, or
more often unimpressive, powers.

    "The same, Ami of Mercery..." Larva confirmed. He was quaking now, his
floatation wavered. He must be seriously distraught, though Miyu. And no
wonder, given the amount of damage he's already caused. Most of the
remainder of the Nyanniichuan was stored there, and it was blown to pieces
by an Ace-Gosunkugi! They had also lost a Ranma and Akane.

    Skywise, still listening and lethargic sitting in front of her computer
screen, almost lit up. Maybe she was going to be rescued after all. She had
been reading about Wyrm in her recent posts, falling through a plot-hole
and ending up in a microverse. Still, there wasn't anything to get too hung
up on...

    "Larva?"

    Larva looked up.

    "Take off the mask, please..." Miyu almost smiled. "Let me comfort you..."

    Hesitating at first, Larva reached up and freed his face from the mask.
He lifted it up. Miyu watched intently at the face as it was revealed...

...to be a bespecticled young man with blond hair; Wyrm. "BOO!!!" he
shouted into Miyu's face. Surprise and shocke, and built up carefully
during the last minute, was released in the first shriek that Miyu let out
since she lost her humanity.

    With an exaggerated move, Wyrm separated his arms, flinging the cloak
behind him to hang like a cape. He settled onto the ground, looking a
little bit drained for a second, but perked up immediately. "Dang, floating
takes a lot outta you!" he remarked. "Tiring, but neccessary!"

    "You...YOU DARE!!!" Miyu growled, eyes no longer just colored yellow,
but GLOWING yellow. "WHERE IS LARVA?" Miyu recognized both the coat and
mask as being her parnter's. They were unmistakeable, and had a unique
"feel" that could not be fooled. Wyrm must have gotten it from him.

    Grinning maniacally, he said, "Didja know that in some African tribes,
roasted insect larvae are a delicacy?" He raised his left eyebrow in a
*hint hint* motion. Then he licked his chops.

    It took a second to sink in, but when it did, Miyu was RAGE (Really
Angry, Get EMS!). "NOO!!!! You ANIMAL!!! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO MY
LARVA?!!?!"

    "Miyu! Wait!" Ami jumped up, rushing to her.

    Miyu absentmindedly threw her against the wall like a ragdoll. "STAY
OUT OF THIS!" she snarled.

    "WYRM!!!!! YOU....WILL....DIEEEEEE!!!!!" she shrieked and surged forward.

    "I think not! Erste Schritt! Zweite Schritt!" Wyrm shot off the mantra,
and an intense glowing ball flickered in between his cupped hands. "DRITTE
SCHRITT!" It then incandesed brightly, almost blindingly. He thrust
forward, point-blank at Miyu, and shouted, "SONNESPRENGKEGEL!!!!"

    A bright flash flooded the room, as the white hot plasma-sphere slammed
into Miyu. The plasma was nasty enough for a normal human; to a vampire,
sensitive to heat anyway, it's like standing on the sun's surface. She
screamed as the plasma utterly vaporized her vampiric form.

    "MIYU!" shrieked Ami, watching as her new friend's ashes settled to the
floor like the remains of a mere youma she used to fight. "You BUTCHER!!
You killed off an entire Ranmaverse!! You slaughtered Miyu-chan in cold
blood!!"

    Wyrm gave her a withering stare. "That Ranma had killed my best friend,
and Akane had helped him. This I cannot forgive...or forget! And as for
Miyu, she was going to kill me; hardly cold blood. And Larva? We just
wanted Skywise, but he forced our hand."

    "Mizino Ami, why did you waste tears on that washed up bloodsucker?"
came a voice from behind her; a very familiar voice. Impossible! He's dead!
Ami thought frantically. Since when did that make any difference? came the
answer. She turned and faced the first big boss she had ever faced.
Jadeite.

    Jadeite, dressed in full youma general uniform and grinning evily,
replied, "AH! You remember me! Good! Then we can cut the crap and get right
down to the dirty stuff!" He chuckled and cracked his knuckles for effect.

    "Well, we beat you before, and I'll beat you again! MERCURY STAR
POWER!!" Ami shouted, holding her transformation pen in the air. She was
surrounded by the familiar Mercury transformation, and the two and a half
males in the room got a glimpse of Ami-skin.

    Tearing himself away from the lightshow, Wyrm rolled deftly to Skywise
and pulled out a thermos. Skywise looked apathetically at him. "Hot water?"
she barely got around to asking. In the background, Sailor Moon and Jadeite
went at it. For the most part, it consisted of Ami attacking and Jadeite
dodging, but Jadeite got off a few shots, some of which found their marks.

    "Nope! This is for you to _drink_, to get your enthusiasm back up,"
Wyrm answered, smiling widely. At Skywise's confused look, he elaborated,
"Black coffee..." Wyrm pulled open her mouth and poured it slowly down her
gullet. Skywise just barely was able to gulp it all down, miraculously not
choking on it.

    Wyrm released her after making sure she drank all of it. Skywise knew
it was hopeless; coffee, no matter how strong, could not counteract the
affects of Miyu's bite.

    "...mixed with some Varaiyah spice," Wyrm added.

    Almost on cue, Skywise felt a surge of pure energy. Her creativity came
back with a vengance, and she felt very suddenly bushy-tailed and chipper.
"WOW, MAN! WHATTA RUSH!!"

    A fat guy in a three-piece suit popped in, wearing a striped tie and an
insane grin. He held a book titled: [The Way Things Ought to Be]. "Welcome
to the Limbaugh Institute for Advanced studies!" he announced.

    Wyrm took out the MALLET O' DEATH (r) and knocked the butterball's
block off, then spun around and sent the rest of him flying. "RUSH LIMBAUGH
NO BAKA!!!" he roared, and hid the mallet wherever mallets go.

    "MERCURY BUBBLES FREEZING!!" shouted Sailor Mercury, sending forth a
wave of supercooled bubbles. She felt confident that this would destroy the
Youma General, as she was stronger than she was when Jadeite faced her
last.

    Jadeite rapidly did his own powerup. "COLDFYRE WAVE!!" bellowed
Jadeite, as a cylander of hyperchilled gasses around him rushed forward,
countering the bubbles and chilling them further, making them freeze on the
spot.

    Ami was astonished. He was a baddie; he didn't NEED to power up. "Hey!
Since when did YOU ever use mantras in your attacks?!" she asked, still
wide-eyed. Come to think of it, he didn't even boast ONCE. Something was
wrong.

    Jadeite smiled a smile that seemed kinder than the others. "Ever since
my daughter healed me with the Ginzuishou," he replied. "And I have Wyrm to
thank for that!"

    "Your...Your daughter?" Ami asked, having a really nasty suspicion who
it was. No! It can't be!

    Jadeite smiled widely and confirmed it, "You know her better as Tsukino
Usagi!"

    "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!" came the incredulous response.

    "I think we broke her, Tom!" Jadeite quipped.

    "That we did, 'Dite!" Wyrm grinned.

    "Lookit her! She's completely catatonic!" Wyrm added.

    Wyrm looked at Wyrm, who looked back at Wyrm. "Glad you could make it,
Wyrm!" the first Wyrm said.

    "You too, Wyrm!" the other said, who happened to look like Jadeite's
identical twin cousin separated at birth. He wore a tan trenchcoat, white
sportsjacket, a white shirt with "!" on it, grey slacks, brown wingtips and
a tan fedora on his head. He also happened to have his long blond hair in a
ponytail, much like his namesake across the room.

    AKA, Wyrm of Gallifrey, third incarnation. Wyrm of Earth, the other
Wyrm's first incarnation (almost), decided to forgo that nickname for the
duration of the visit. He settled on an older nickname, "Dragon-Mage"/"dm",
from his "Magic: The Addiction" days.

    The Dragon-Mage watched in satisfaction as a thoroughly confused Ami
darted between Jadeite and Wyrm, both grinning pleasently. He downed the
thermos of Teej's Sleep-No-More Brew and felt the caffeine flow through
him. He started glowing as he brought his hands together. Time was
a-wastin'; time to do the deed; to shoot the moon; to play the hand; to run
the flag up the pole and...

    (The personified anima spirit formerly known as Wyrm-chan: GET ON WITH IT!!)

    dm shrugged. Enough chatting; time for blasting. "CAFFEINE POWER," he
shouted. "DISCHARGE!!" dm thrust his hands out, and a beam of yellow-brown
energy burst forth catching a thoroughly off-guard Ami. It knocked her to
the side, into the wall, and down for the count.

    Skywise looked confusedly between Jadeite and Wyrm of Gallifrey. "Wow!
Two Jadeites!" she observed.

    "Not quite, but we'll explain later back in the Middle Of Nowhere!" the
Dragon-Mage said, taking the transformed man's arm. "We gotta boogie!" As
he turned, his path was interrupted by a red rose. "Crap!" The typical
Tuxedo Kamen music blared in the background. dm turned to the camera and
shouted, "KILL THAT DAMN MUSIC!!" It did. "Thank you!"

    Chiba Mamoru, AKA Tuxedo Kamen, stood on the balcony overlooking the
room. "Hey! How'd _that_ get there!" Skywise protested, pointing at the
said balcony.

    "Anime Dramatic Effect Protocol," dm asided.

    "oh."

    "Jadeite! Wyrm of Gallifrey! A truce exists between the various
characters of Anime, uniting them against the common threat into the
Animate Revolutionary Force. You have helped an author...no, TWO authors,
one of them the Butcher of Panda-Ranma. In doing so, you have become
traitors to the cause! And for Justice, I shall destroy you!"

    Jadeite turned to Wyrm. "Still into those long, boring speeches, I
see..." Jadeite observed.

    "Yep, and he get's worse every day!"

    "Come off it, Tux-boy! You've done _your_ fair share of killing!
Remember poor Ben Tern? Impaled with FOURTEEN roses!!" Teej growled.

    "Fourteen?" Skywise asked. "What did he DO?"

    Wyrm showed him a hardcopy of the last Fanfic of Benny Tern:


            Tuxedo Mask whipped out a flower from his tuxedo, but it
        wasn't a rose. He looked slightly embarrassed as he saw it was
        a lilly. "Oops! Must have left my roses in my other tuxedo...
        Oh well." He threw the lilly, just like the rose, and it acted
        like one, impaling Jik'tar in the chest.


    "THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS!!!" Skywise grated.

    "Quite..." dm agreed.

    "Ain't it tho?" Wyrm shook his head.

    "Metallia! Never knew Tux-boy was so vicious!" Jadeite commented, eyes
wide in awe. "Death by flower, no less. You woulda fit perfectly in the
Dark Kingdom."

    Tuxedo Kamen was livid. "BAKAS! Don't you understand?!" he ranted, "I
use ROSES! To use something else is an INSULT!"

    "Y'know, I'm really beginning to get angry at you," Wyrm said
matter-of-factly with a frown on his face. "And I'm getting anoyed at your
whining. K-9, stun him!" This last sentance was spoken with more force.

    A beam of red energy hit Tuxedo Kamen in the back. He went rigid, and
pitched forward, over the balcony. Fortunately, it happened to be over a
pile of dirty laundry that Skywise just didn't get around to washing
because of his/her recent apathy. A mechanical dog glided to look through
the balcony struts. "MASTER," K-9 said.

    "Good boy, K-9!" Wyrm grinned.

    "THANKS ARE NOT NECCESSARY," the machine said tinnily. Even so, it's
whip-antenna tail wagged.

    "Sure, sure, K-9. Prepare to open the plot-hole back to MON," dm said.
Turning to Skywise, he said, "Get your essentials; we're going!"

    "Okay," she said, grabbing a few changes of clothes, towel, toothbrush,
transformation pen (might come in handy), @bap stick she borrowed from
Kun-chan... Stuff like that.

    K-9 lifted up on repulsors, floating over the rail and settling softly
down onto the floor. His ears twitched as his vocoder began to emit
computer-speak. "PLOT-HOLE OPENING SEQUENCE: INITIATED," he reported
monotonically. Skywise's hair stood on end as she felt the shifts in
reality. Suddenly, a tear appeared in the fabric of spacetime, opening onto
the inky blackness of the transdimensional corridor. It was surrounded by
black fuzzyness and crackled with energy. "SEQUENCE: COMPLETE," announced
K-9 and powered up his repulsors.

    "Quickly now!" dm announced. He threw Skywise into the plot-hole and
dove in after her. K-9 finished powering up, and floated in along with
Jadeite, followed PDQ by Wyrm of Gallifrey. The portal closed up after him,
sparking with energy and then disappearing entirely.

***

    In the microdimension Middle Of Nowhere, the passengers emerged
(falling) from the mouth of an antiplot-hole, which closed up and sealed
behind itself. dm stood, gesturing around himself. "Welcome to the Middle
Of Nowhere!" he announced.

    Skywise regained her feet, rubbing delicately at various sensitive
parts of her body that had been slightly bruised. She surveyed the vast
rolling planes that made up this part of the Middle Of Nowhere. They had
actually landed on a glowing purple platform on the ground, but the rest
was filled with grass, trees, rivers, mountains, ect. "Impressive," she
said.

    "Thank you!" dm grinned. He turned to Jadeite and said, "Thanks, Jay! I
owe ya!"

    Jadeite smiled pleasently. Skywise never thought he/she'd see the day
when that happened. "You got me out of that damned crystal and cured me of
the evil that infected my soul. You also reunited me with my daughter. I
still owe you plenty!" He stepped away and waved, "Ja!" and vanished,
probably off to his quarters in MON.

    "Whatta guy!" Wyrm said.

    "Yep." dm turned back to his guest. "This isn't the whole thing of
course," he explained, "This is just the preserve. We can bodyslide to my
lab after a short rest. I've been a busy guy for the last thirteen
centuries."

    Skywise blinked in astonishment. "Thu-Thirteen centuries?" she asked.

    "Omega-2 virus. Picked it up in the UFverse," dm explained. "Besides,
it's only middle age for a Time Lord."

    "I thought you were human."

    Wyrm of Gallifrey stepped behind her. "The operative word here is
'were'. Tom was human; however, he crossed pathes in the worst possible way
with my first incarnation."

    "Oh."

    "Guided tour, Wyrm?" asked Wyrm.

    "Please, call me Dragon-Mage. Calling me 'Wyrm' with you around is
confusing." dm turned to Skywise. "That goes for you, too! Say...you want a
guided tour of my not-so-humble abode?"

    "Sure," Skywise said. She was smiling again; things were looking up.
And at last s/he can commence the search for the DSF...

    "First stop. Durandal! Bodyslide four to the Kitchen!" dm said to the
big computer supervising the Middle Of Nowhere. It beeped its
acknowledgement and the figures disappeared from the pad.

*****************************************************************************
END LOG

Notes: I've now officially rescued Skywise from the clutches of his/her own
apathy (albeit induced by Miyu). There are only two things I'm unsure of:
the portayal of Skywise and Vampire Princess Miyu (enraged Pantomime
Princess Margrate!).

Skywise: If you wish to continue adventuring with me, drop a note into my
mailbox by secure means and include:

Physical Description: Both forms.
Inherent tallents.
Any field you wish to study in.

That's all folks! ^_^

                           ---------------------
-wyrm/Teej(AKA Tom Jefferys; Time Lord for Hire, "Have TARDIS; Will Travel.")
<wyrm@mail.utexas.edu>                       <JEFFERYSTR@rascal.guilford.edu>
Member of the AFSS          Depraived Kawaii Thing of the First Order, Martin
   =<SIG>= Wyrm-chan @_@ H-Wyrm @_@ Ten @_@ Chibi-Usa @_@ Azusa =</SIG>=
=<^_^>= R1/2#_#BGC#_#Sailor Moon#_#Dr Who#_#Star Trek#_#Monty Python =</^_^>=

   Currently operating at <wyrm@middle.of.nowhere.void> for the time being

"DINSDALE!!!" -Spiny Norman
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Still trapped in Eternal Crystal and loving it!