A follow-up.
In a way, this is more of a (very brief) summary of what's
happened (well, as far as I knew, which wasn't much, when I wrote this
thing, all of 1/2 an hour ago.)
It'll probably by obsolete in all of, oh, 5 minutes. Sigh.
There's also a small bit of writer-glorification in there.
<shurg> We deserve it...
***
SKJAM! RevengeFic - Role Call
Mike's fingers glided over the keyboard as he logged onto his
university's aix2 account. There were other things he ought to
be doing - washing the dishes, reading Milton's 'Lycidas',
eating supper - but any thought of doing such tedious tasks were
swept aside as he entered PcPine.
As expected, several more innocent victims had fallen prey to
the anime-world's vicious jihad of retribution against fanfic
writers... against even fanfic _thinkers_! There seemed nothing,
and no one, who could stop them. Mike paused for a moment. Well,
not entirely true... Mike Loader, with enviable foresight, had
loaded up on ammo and weaponry and 'convinced' Team Ranma to move
on to easier prey; Tom Jefferys, riding a massive caffeine rush,
had managed to out-dodge Ukyou, Genma, and Nodoka, finally escaping
through a convenient passing plot-hole.
But they were the exception. The list of onna-fied otaku
writers continued to grow. Something had to be done!
One E-Mail caught his attention. Mike's previous request for
a list of victims had generated a response! It seemed the
venerable Nightelf had been keeping track...
The current victims were:
Phillip Mak.
WebDragon... ahhh, WebDragon_ess_, now. She was obviously going to
have trouble explaining this to her sister... and parents.
Darren "Twister" Steffler, whose own alter-ego had (kinda)
turned on him.
John Biles. Mike paused. Oh yeah. Biles hadn't been hit
with Nyannichuan. Instead, he'd been "injected with the blood
factor from Futaba-kun Change that causes Stress Induced Sex
Change, and micromachines to continue to manufacture it in [his]
bone marrow so [his] body couldn't just recycle it out." Mike gave
a sympathetic grin - obviously annoying Skuld _was_ a bad idea...
Stanley Teriaca. Mike double checked the list. Spring of
Drowned Silent Movie Heroine? Yikes!
Ken Arromdee.
Kevin Eav.
Shadow Hunter - now cursed to be a heroine for Magic Knight
Rayearth.
frosty - now a youma-fighting Magic-Girl; rumour had it that
she'd established a sentient time-dilated pocket dimension in which
to train, in preparation for a counter-attack against the anime-
world.
Wing. Wing. _Stuck_ as a female. Now that... that was
really unfair. How could they? Mike slammed his fist down onto
his desk in anger. Of course, this knocked over his tall glass of
Pepsi, splashing him. Mike sighed as the changes coursed through
her body.
She started to strip out of her now-too-large jeans and Akira
shirt, while continuing to scroll through the listing.
Muzzatti Lucas. Mike thought for a second. Well, at least
_he_ got something out of it - he had Ukyou! Zen was probably
jealous...
Zen. Poor, poor Zen, thought Mike, pulling on an old pair of
karate gi pants and a shirt she'd borrowed from her female
roommate. Poor Zen - untrained, wearing a combat bikini, drafted
by the Dirty Pair... oops!, Lovely Angels, she amended quickly.
Mike looked around warily in sudden fear. A slip like _that_,
these days, could get a FFMLer into really, really, deep trouble.
Nightelf? According to Leifker himself, he might soon be
joining the ranks of the damned.
And finally, of course, Cynewulf, Mike herself. Of course,
that was Onnawulf now, at least until this whole SKJAM! think was
resolved. SKJAM!? Isn't it strange, thought Mike to herself, that
the guy who had started this whole thing, who had _given_ the power
of Anything-Goes Martial Arts Dimensional-Travel to Akane in the
first place, had got off the easiest? Mike shrugged. No use
holding a grudge...
Mike looked over the list in it's entirety. It was... an
impressive list, to say the least. A _very_ formidable collection
of writers, each cursed, each with a motive for revenge.
Combined... why, combined, the entire might of animedom could
not stand against them! Mike leaned back, visions flowing across
her mind. A dozen dozen writers hunched over keyboard, the
irradiating glow of their monitors the only illumination as they
laboured into the night; or, perhaps, applying pen and pencil to
paper, plotting their much deserved revenge. She could see it:
Biles, leading the literary charge, like some Anglo-Saxon bard from
the court of King Alfred reborn, flanked on either side by
Darren/Twister and Nightelf, leading the horde of vengeful and
wronged authors. It was a good dream...
Not that the fight would be easy... arrayed against the might
of the FFML were the martial artists of Ranma 1/2, the Magical Girls of
Sailor Moon, the hard-suited soldiers of Bubblegum crisis, the
ladies of Tenchi! and the goddesses of Ah!Megami-sama; hell, in a
pinch, they could summon the intergalactic hordes of both Macross
_and_ Robotech... and you never knew when the Overfiend would rear
it's ugly head...
And yet... and yet the writer's could prevail, _would_
prevail... together, they were undefeatable, awesome...
Together...
Mike's dream crumbled like a youma after getting nailed by
Usagi's tiara. Working _together_?
Unlikely.
It took a special mind to be a fanfic writer... slight
insanity, perhaps; a tolerance (or dependency) on caffeine; and,
most of all... an ego. A whopping huge, head-inflating, chest-
swelling ego (and the last thing the Nyannichuanites needed was
more chest-swelling!).
Could such creatures possibly work together?
Could they?
Would they?
***
Right.
Whatever.
Yet another quicky-fic. I'm sorry if I missed anyone (or skipped
over a few authors - I don't really know everybody's story).
Am I annoying any one with these? If so, I'll stop... either
way, I think that's it for a while... I'm really, really, hungry... and I
gotta get that honework done!
And do I bear a grudge against SKJAM! Of course not... he
started this whole thing... and I'm kinda enjoying it!
Later!
(If the list grows, would anyone mind sending me who I missed?)
-Mike