Ack!  I really didn't want to get caught up in this, but after
reading about other authors of unfinished fics getting nailed, it
hardly seems fair that I escape unscathed...


---------------------------------------

     Krista sat trembling in front of the computer terminal as
she read her e-mail.  Her hands were clamped firmly over her
mouth in a futile attempt to smother an acute attack of giggles
as she continued to read through the revengefics that had flooded the
ML.  Tears of pent-up laughter streamed from her eyes, but she waited
until the giggles subsided before daring to remove her hands to wipe
them away.

     Swallowing hard, she risked a glance around.  Sure enough,
she was attracting stares and glares from the other patrons of
the Mocha Mod'em, Salt Lake City's most sophisticated cyber cafe. She
coughed delicately and favored them with a sheepish grin before
turning back to her screen, her face flushing with embarrassment.

     She continued to read through the revengefics, feeling
supremely safe as she did so.  Sure, she was a fanfic author, but hey,
it was only one story.  Okay, so "Hearts of Ice" was turning out to be
a very *long* story, but still, it was only one, and it wasn't even
close to being finished yet.  Besides, she lived in Utah, aka: the
Middle of Nowhere.  That in itself practically guaranteed her
isolation from the madness that was manifesting itself on the ML.

     Her smugness soon faltered, however, as she continued to
read.  Ranma and co., it seemed, weren't being too discriminatory
about who they chose as victims.  Any and all offenses, however minor,
such as fanfics that existed only as simple one-line speculations in
obscure computer files, were being punished.

     Her eyes widened in horror as she stared at her screen.  "Oh
crap," she muttered.  "Even Zen got nailed!  Zen... Zen always seemed
so.... nice!  Sticking up for Ukyo all the time and stuff like that." 
Still, Ranma and co. hadn't been the executers of justice in his case.
 Krista allowed herself a moment of relief. Perhaps they were too busy
with the others to get to her.  Plus, she had the added comfort of
knowing that there was a transdimensional barrier that surrounded the
state of Utah, truly and effectively cutting it off from the rest of
the universe. Still, she couldn't help but glance around furtively,
waiting for the inevitable portal to open up.

     Her erratic behavior was attracting stares again.  Glancing
at the clock, she realized that her lunch hour was over anyway,
and she needed to get back to work.

     *Well,* she thought, *if this holds true to pattern, if
they're going to show up, it should be any moment now.  After
all, this is where I have my internet access and e-mail account.*

     Grabbing her purse, she stood and went to the counter as
Charlie, the manager, wrote her computer time down on her
account.  "So, Krista," he said, looking at her with a slightly
worried expression.  "Everything okay today?"

     "Huh?  What?" she answered brightly as she twisted her head
around, her eyes carefully scanning each corner to make sure
certain anime characters weren't about pop out of nowhere to
disturb the tranquility of the little cyber cafe.

     Charlie shook his head.  He had seen this coming a mile
away.  The poor girl had finally lost it.

------------------------------------

     Krista drove all the way back to work without spotting a
single inter-dimensional portal or anime character.  "Hmm.  I
guess that transdimentional barrier around Utah is stronger than
I thought," she said to herself.  She smiled as she recited the
state slogan.  "Ah, Utah.  A Pretty Great State." 

     She tried to get back into the work mind set as she pulled
into her parking spot at Alan Frank & Associates, Inc.  "Let's
see, I've got to make sure the negatives for that Martin
Furniture newspaper insert get to Hoffine Printing by this
afternoon.  Those have to be up to the Idaho State Journal by
Friday.  Oh, and I can't forget to write that Sidewalk Sale radio spot
for Pro Golf."

     Krista continued muttering to herself as she walked up the
stairs to Annex B.  Opening the door, she noticed that it was
strangely quiet in the office.  And the lights were off.  Both
things were out of the ordinary, especially since she shared
Annex B with Clyde Earl and Jack Hart, the two middle-aged guys
who made up the other part of the Creative Department for the
advertising agency.  She glanced over her shoulder, looking at
the parking lot.  Yup, their cars were there.  They should be
here.  She stood in the doorway, looking into the dark office,
and cleared her throat uncomfortably.  "Uh, Clyde?  Jack?  You
guys in there?"

     "Krista, you're back."  Clyde's voice came out of the
darkness.  Maybe they just turned the lights off to watch a TV
spot in the conference room.  Yeah, that had to be it.

     "Hey, uh, mind if I turn the lights on for a sec?"

     "Please do," said Jack.

     Krista flipped the light switch.

     Clyde, Jack and even Mr. Frank, the Big Boss himself, were
tied with sturdy cords to the conference room chairs.  Ranma and
Akane sat cross-legged on the table, smiling hugely, each holding a
pail of infamous spring water.

     "Gahhhh," said Krista.

     "So I take it you know these people," said Mr. Frank with
disapproval.  But then Mr. Frank said everything with
disapproval.  Even jokes.  So it was a sure thing he wouldn't see the
humor in the situation.

     Krista was too busy staring at the anime couple to care. 
"Wha... How... How did you get here?" Krista finally squeaked
out.

     "It wasn't easy," Ranma admitted, idly spinning his bucket
on the tip of his finger.  "We kept smashing against some weird
barrier no matter which way we approached, and we kept ending up
in Idaho or Nevada or something.  Finally we figured it out..."

     "*I* figured it out," Akane interrupted.

     "She figured it out," Ranma continued nonplussed, "so we
simply traveled to the Idaho/Utah state border, walked across,
then teleported the rest of the way here."

     "Bummer," Krista muttered.  She was in a state of near panic as
her mind went over all the other horrible punishments the duo sitting
on the conference table had inflicted on the other fanfic authors. 
Looking at the buckets, she could only count her lucky stars that she
was already a girl.  Then she looked at her co- workers and her Boss,
still tied to their chairs, looking at her with impatience and
annoyance as they awaited an explanation for their current situation.

     "Uh-oh," she said.

     Ranma and Akane smiled predatorialy.  "Boy, you're quick,"
said Akane.

     Krista gibbered intelligently.  "You... you *can't!*  Not to
them!  They're innocent bystanders!  They don't know a thing about
anime or fanfic!  Heck, *I* didn't know a thing about anime or fanfic
until a few months ago.  IT'S MY BROTHER'S FAULT!  HE'S THE ONE WHO
BOUGHT THE RANMA VIDEOS!  I JUST HAPPENED TO WALK INTO HIS ROOM WHILE
HE WAS WATCHING AND I GOT SUCKED IN!  IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"

     Ranma glanced at Akane.  "Pathetic, neh?"

     Akane nodded.

     Belatedly, Krista realized it might not have been a smart
thing to mention her kid brother.  At eighteen, Kurt had a lot
going for him.  He was a good-looking and smart, and just an all-
around nice guy.  The possible fate that sloshed in Ranma and Akane's
buckets was not one she would wish on him.

     Then again, Kurt might forgive her someday.  Mr. Frank, on
the other hand...

     Krista turned to Ranma beseechingly.  "Come on, gimme a
break!  You gave Nightelf a two-week reprieve!  And not once have I
stuck you in girl form, like he has."

     Ranma's expression darkened, and he held up a printed
document.  Krista paled and "eeped" softly as she recognized her
4-page single-spaced typed outline for "Hearts of Ice."

     "Uh... uh..." she stammered.  "Th-that's not set in stone,
you know.  I can change it.  In fact, if you'll notice, I've been
pretty loose with the outline so far."

     "As if that makes it any better," Akane growled.  "What's
the big idea, trapping me in the Kami plane for seven years?"

     "Huh," snorted Ranma.  "You got it easy.  Look at what she's got
planned for *me.*"  He pointed to the outline, and Akane's eyes went
wide.

     "Why you... How could you do that to Ranma?!"

     "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!  Believe me, if I'd have known about
the SKJAM revengefic challenge, that wouldn't have even crossed
my mind!"

     "But to do *that;* to--"

     "Stop!" Krista shouted.  "Don't say it!  They're sure to
read this on the ML, and I don't want to ruin the suspense of my
story!"

     There was a long moment of silence.  Ranma and Akane's eyes
narrowed menacingly.  Krista gulped.

     Ranma turned to Akane and smiled cheerfully.  Akane returned the
smile.  All that good will between the volatile couple was making
Krista very nervous.  

     "Sounds to me like she's not very repentant," Ranma said
finally.  "What do you think?"

     "I agree."

     Ranma suddenly noticed a flash from Krista's left hand. 
"What's this?" he asked, feigning shock.  "Why, Krista, it
appears that you're engaged!"

     Krista whipped her left hand, with her engagement ring,
behind her back.  "Engaged?  Me?  Naawww..." she said
unconvincingly.  *Great,* she thought.  *John just subscribed to
the ML, too.  If I inadvertently sic these wackos on him, he's
sure to find out it was my fault.*

     "Hmm," said Akane.  "You seem to like messing with other
people's relationships.  I wonder how you'd like it if we turned
the tables?"

     Krista made a strangled noise in her throat.

     Ranma looked meaningfully at the bucket in his hands, then
at Krista's co-workers, who were watching the entire exchange in
complete bafflement.  "Ya know, Akane, I can think of a much
better use for this water than wasting it on these guys."

          "Funny," said Akane.  "I was thinking the same thing"

     "Gahhhhh," said Krista.

-------------------------------

The end, for now.  John, dear, don't kill me.