I'm a very self-deprecating writer, but I'll spare you my usual apology,
and offer an explanation instead. Every time before, when I've hit writers
block, I'd start a new fanfic. None of them are finished yet.

  This time I decided to try something different. Instead of another attempt
at a fanfic exploring some idea for 30-100k that might never be finished. This
time I'm going to try to write a small evocative piece. No intricate plot, but
a strong attempt to summon a mood in a few words.

  Comments and criticism welcome. This fic is sad, because that's an easier
emotion to pull from the reader. In the future I will probably try something
like anger, or maybe joy.
						Neil Reynolds
						neil@panix.com


			 Regrets after it's too late

   Sometimes I see her when I go to the dojo to think. I can finally admit to
myself that she is a beautiful woman, at least when she smiles. She smiles so
rarely, and I know it's my fault.

   Her hair is still short. She's never let it grow long, since the day it was
cropped short during my battle with Ryouga. Short hair suits her, though I
never could have admitted it when we were together. She wanted to be like
Kasumi, or maybe her mother, but she hasn't the temperament. If she were like
Kasumi, I don't think I would have fallen in love with her.

   She looks the same as she did the last time I saw her alive. Angry, sad and
defiant. I wish I could have told her I love her before it was too late. I
know she loved me, I wish I could just hold her, maybe hug her, but we're
unable to touch.

   Sometimes I rage against the unfairness of it all. She's found some measure
of peace, but I continue to grieve. I ought to leave this dojo, she belongs
here, and I don't. But this house was the first place I lived that felt like
home. And this is one of the few places I can pretend we're still together.
When I don't see her, I can pretend she'll enter shortly, and pound me over
another girl, or her own cooking. When I can see her, I can pretend she's
ignoring me.

   Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like for us, if Happosai's last
bomb killed Akane, instead of me.