REVENGE OF THE ANIME CHARACTERS
Tsubasa Strikes!

	Rod sat in the dark office of the computer lab.  The lights were
turned off.  There was a reason for this:  he was finally off duty and
didn't care to field any more questions like 'why did the Macintosh turn
off when I hit the eject button?', 'how do I use that internet thingy?'
and the most commonly asked question, one that made his skin crawl, 'um,
how do you print?'  It was an ugly time of year.
	In other words, it was newbie season at the computer lab.
	Now, however, he was off duty.  It was HIS time.  Time to abuse,
er, take advantage of the best machinery that the university could buy! 
	"Now where'd I put that copy of Warcraft II?"
	"Bottom left drawer of the desk," said the file cabinet.
	"Oh, thanks."
	"No problem."
	Rod reached down to the drawer, then froze.  The file cabinet had
just talked to him.
	"Hello, Rod, or should I say.... RPM."
	Rod blinked.
	The file cabinet suddenly sprouted a head.  Brown hair, feminine
face, looked familiar...
	"Er... Tsubasa?"
	"Bingo."
	It's the 12 pack of coke and chinese takeout, thought Rod.  He
knew that his bad habits would catch up to him one day, but he didn't
think it would be in such a hallucinogenic way.
	"You're not real," insisted Rod.  "You're a product of excess
caffiene and MSG intake."
	Tsubasa rolled his eyes upwards.  "Snap outta it.  I'm here to
straighten out a few things, buster."
	"I'm not gonna talk to hallucinations, I'm sane."
	Tsubasa promptly rammed into him, file cabinet and all.  Rod
became one with the wall.
	"Aaaaaack!  Okay!  I listen!  I listen!"
	"Much better," said Tsubasa.  "What kinda nickname is RPM anyways?
Kinda egotistical sounding, isn't it?"
	"It's my initials."
	"Suuuuure it is."
	Rod pulled out his driver's license.  "See?"
	"Ew, bad picture," said Tsubasa, looking at it.  "Butt ugly."
	"Shut up.  Why are you here anyways?" Rod irritably asked.
	"Well... first of all... what were you thinking when you wrote Tme
More Things Change?  You turned me into a mecha fanatic?!?" 
	Rod frowned.  "You've been talking with White Wolf, haven't you?"
	"I don't like mecha!"  Tsubasa pouted.
	"Come on now, it's not far fetched.  You've got these ridiculous
costumes, postal box, vending machine, etc.  What are those things?
Machines!  And what's a mech?  A machine!"
	"It's stupid.  Stupid stupid stupid!  And I don't belive how
you're gonna get rid of me in The Pursuit of Happiness!"
	"Hey, I've rewritten that..."
	"But you're still getting rid of me!!!  And you're putting my
dear, dear Ukyou with... RYOUGA!"  Tsubasa pouted even further.
	"Hey, what's wrong with that?"
	"Has he EVER shown any interest in her?  EVER?  In the anime?  The
manga? Well?!?"
	"Well, there was movie two..."
	"Barely any interest.  And Takahashi-sama didn't write that!  It
doesn't count anyways!"
	"Haunted Cave thing?"
	"Hm.... nope."
	By this time, Rod was getting very irritated.  He was here to use
some expensive hardware for some seriously frivolous reasons, darnit!
"Are you here to just nitpick, you cross-dresser?!"
	"No... I'm here to help solve all your problems."
	Rod blinked.
	Tsubasa waited for a response.
	"_You_" asked Rod.
	"Yup."
	There was more silence.

	TWO MINUTES LATER.

	Tsubasa hopped up and down angrily.  "STOP LAUGHING!"
	"BWAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHHAHAAAAAAA*SNICKER*HAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHA!!!"
	Tsubasa sighed.  He knew this wasn't going to be an easy job, but
he took it.  Ranma was busy with a long list of fanfic authors he had a
problem with, especially the ones that had him sleeping with Ryouga. 
Everyone else's hitlist was just as long.  The only characters with short
lists were Akari (who was targeting Wilmore for that nasty little 'candle
flame' story) and himself, who, when told that the anime citizens were
staging a raid on The Other Side, tried to think of all the writers that
did anything that made him mad.  The only recent one that came to mind was
RPM.  Tsubasa was supposed to come into Rod's life, cause a little mess,
make a bonafide effort to improve his life, then leave mysteriously.
	That was the plan.

	"h... help ME?  BWAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!"

	So far, the plan had a few kinks in it.  Tsubasa sighed, pulled
out a mallet, and 'pacified' his target with an unceremonious *THUD*.  Rod
slumped to the floor, dazed.  It looked like it'd be a while before Rod
would be awake again.  Tsubasa casually pushed him aside and took the
seat, then opened the desk drawer.  "Hm... Warcraft II... cool." 

-the end?-