Bile Studio Presents...
Revenge of the Fanfics.
by Jang Choe
"More homework..." I whispered as I walked through the
campus of Georgia Tech. "Man, that Computer Science class is a
killer." I am Jang Choe, student at Georgia Institute of
Technology, a computer science major (obviously not an English
major). I am a freshman right now and I am doing fairly well
here. I'm commuting so I have to get up around 10:00 am and
drive 30 min to get here. I hate it, commuting that is. It
wastes so much time. I haven't been to a party, dated a girl,
nor went out anywhere with my friends. You can say I have no
life. My only life is writing fanfics, and IRC.
Well, time to go home. When I drive, you better watch out.
I don't think about driving, I usually think about ideas on my
fanfics. Amazingly, I haven't crashed yet. Well, as I got home,
I turned on my computer. I waited for eternity for windows 95 to
load up and after that, I loaded my notepad. I have thought of a
fanfic to write so I am going to write it.
Of course, business before pleasure, I have to do homework
first. I have to make this program for my cs class, so I decided
to program a interactive story. Lets see here,
//Filename roleplay.cpp
//The first interactive story (I think)
//CS class homwork.
#include <iostream.h>
#include <myif.h>
#include <fansd.h>
#include <ficsut.h>
#include <rulehi.h>
#include <soidh.h>
#include <readre.h>
#include <themlk.h>
void winmain()
cout <<"blablaba
and the rest of the program follows...
This took a lot longer than I expected. Oh well, I'm
finished, time to compile and execute it. Hmmm, I need a story,
I guess I use my "Harvard Graduate" story. Lets see, it's
loading... uh huh. What!? Error?! #*@! machine! What did I
do wrong now? What time is it? 2:34 am? Oh man, I need to go
to sleep so I can drive to Ga tech tomorrow. But I still need to
fix this, oh well; like I always say, "Do things by the very
last minute." I guess I have to do this tomorrow.
I fell asleep without knowing that I did not turn the
computer off. *Yawn* What the? The computer is turned on?! I
left it on?! Oh man, my dad's gonna kill me when he sees the
power bill. Oh well, I guess I'll start finding that bug.
After a few minutes, I still couldn't find that bug. Where
is it?! Everything is typed correctly, but where is the stupid
bug?! I slammed on the keyboards in fury. All of a sudden, this
big bright light started to come out. What the heck is that? I
quickly reached for the plug. It must be a virus. Did I just
program a virus along with my code? Oh well, time to unplug this
thing before it does any damage. Then I felt something on my
back. What the heck is that? I looked up and saw this beautiful
Asian woman 's head coming out of the screen. "What the heck is
going on here?" I said out loud.
"Sumimasen," She said.
"What?!" I screamed. All of a sudden, she popped out and
knocked me down. My back hurts because of that. Anyway, that
weird girl that came out of my computer.
"Who are you?" I asked, trying to sound calm and cool. Of
course, I was scared as hell.
"Tendo Kasumi desu. ?" She said.
Japanese? I don't know Japanese!! Wait, she did say Tendo
Kasumi... Can she be? "Err... Jang Choe desu..." I blurted
out. "Uhhh... Oh genki desu ka?"
"Genki desu, koko wa doko da?"
"Ehh, eigo-o hanashimesu ka?"
"Hai, where.. am.. I..?"
"Woah! You can speak English?"
"A little bit. Can you tell me where I am.. please?"
Wait a minute, Kasumi doesn't know English. Or does she?
Wait a minute, she's from that computer. That means... the
program worked... worked too well I might say. But hold on a
minute, I used that Harvard Graduate story, and she knew English
in that story... So all I have to do is rewrite the story so she
can speak fluent English. Yeahh.. "Umm please wait a moment."
"Yes."
I rewrote my whole story again, this time, I made Kasumi
super English fluent. "There, now can you speak English?" I
asked her.
"Yes, how did you do that?" She asked me.
"Umm, it's nothing. Anyway, welcome to my home."
"It is lovely, but I do have to leave."
"Oh okay, can you go through the screen again?"
"I'll try..." She then puts her hand on the screen. "I
don't think I can.."
Then, the screen flashes again and this time, this time
Ranma pops out. How do I know, pig tail...
"Ahhhh!!" Screamed he. "Kasumi?"
Great, I quickly went to the story and rewrote everything so
that Ranma can speak fluent English.
"Okay, where the hell are we?!" Ranma asked grabbing me by
the collar.
"My home. I have no idea on how to get you back. But you
guys can try whatever, since I have to go to College in a few
minutes." I responded.
"Okay, but what do we do?"
"Go play with my computer or something till I get back."
"The computer... like we know how to use one."
"I'm sure I can use one, Ranma." Kasumi said.
"Well, okay... see ya guys." I said leaving.
After few hours in hell, I came back home. "Ranma!
Kasumi!!" I shouted. "Where are you?!"
Then I saw Ranma and Kasumi sitting on the living room
couch. "Hey Jang, we read your fanfics while you were gone.
Very interesting..." Ranma said.
Uh oh, why does this have to happen? I gulped. "So, how
did you like them? Hehehe." I nervously laughed.
"First, lets talk about your Personalities story, Jang."
Ranma began.
"I'm sorry to say, I that I did not like it very much."
Kasumi finished.
"Eh.. why not?" I blurted out.
"I am sorry if I offend you, but Mousse and I getting
married? I think Mousse is a really nice friend of Ranma's, but I
wouldn't marry him."
All of a sudden, Ranma grabbed me on the collar. "How did
Gosunkugi manage to beat me?! Gos is a wimp!"
"It created a good antagonist for you Ranma." I said.
"You let Ukyo end up with Tofu?!" Ranma screamed at me.
Dr. tofu is not her type! Don't you know anything about us?"
"Hey! Just wait till you see what Jeff Rutsch did to you
guys."
"Shut up, we're not done yet." Ranma snapped.
"I'll make some tea." Kasumi said getting up.
"Okay, lets skip Personalities and go to Obsession." Ranma
began again. "Why did Mousse beat me up?"
"Because he got better."
"You think I wouldn't train also in those years?!"
"Well, I think it was more interesting the way..."
"Shut up, and that Peter's Journey... So, that Peter guy
was you right?"
"More or less."
"You completely came into our world and destroyed it."
"Hey, it was a parody.. read Pearson Mui's Mis..."
"I'm not done yet, Kasumi became very upset over your 'The
Other Attractiveness Factor.' She doesn't like being treated
like a brainless whore!"
"Well..... I made her a Harvard student in..."
"Shut up, and this Simple Twist of Fate..."
"Hold on, I'm not even finished with that story yet."
"Okay fine, Berserker. You let the reader almost kill
me!!!"
"So what are you going to do about it?!"
"We're gonna kill you."
"What?! I haven't even written a dark fic yet and you're
going to kill me?"
"That's right,"
"Tea everyone." Kasumi said coming in with a tray, smiling.
"Here, have some tea." Ranma said shoving the cup in front
of my face.
Okay, okay, I'm not stupid. After reading those revenge
fics, I know not to take anything from anime characters. "Umm, did
you turn off the computer?"
"No, hurry up and drink it Jang."
Wait a minute, computer is not turned off, that means that
if I turn it off, the program will stop and they will disappear!
I threw the cup down and ran upstairs.
"Oh no you don't you can't run from us!" Ranma screamed.
"Oh dear, I have to clean this mess. Kasumi said looking at
the puddle of tea.
I quickly went upstairs and opened the door. I was shocked,
almost every single Ranma character was in my room.
"You! You make Shampoo look brainless!" Shampoo said,
drilling her fist into my gut. "Why you make me like Mousse?! I
hate him!"
"Cuz you are a brainless twit." I said holding my stomach.
Then I felt a hard boot on the back of my head. "You made me
totally heartless in 'Personalities'! How could you?!"
Lets see... ah it must be Nabiki.
"You even made a fool out of me in Peter's Journey!"
"Sorry, but if you read 'Facades..'"
Then I felt a huge hand grasping around my throat. I looked
at the face of whomever did that. Oh crap... Cell.
"You destroyed me in Peter's Journey! Now I will destroy
you!!" Cell said, his power level rising.
"Careful, you might blow up this room if you're not
careful." I said, slightly laughing.
Cell then threw me through some walls, into my bathroom. I
got up, holding my broken ribs. "Wait a minute, how do you guys
speak English?! Kasumi and Ranma couldn't..."
"Because your stories never have any continuity in them!"
Ryouga said.
"Woah, what did I do to you Ryouga?"
"You started that Round Robin thing and made my life more
miserable!!" Ryouga said. "Shi shi hokodan!!"
I was nailed by the ki blast and was thrown back. "But
but... it was the other authors that made you're life miserable."
I said, coughing.
"Yeah, but you started it." Ryouga said.
"And you! Why haven't you written a story about us?!" I
heard. I turned around and saw Madoka and Kyosuke.
"Well... ummm because.." I muttered.
"Thanks, when I read your Ranma fics, we were glad that you
didn't write anything about us." Madoka said.
"Uhh gee, thanks." I said. "What is you guys's problem?
It's only a harmless story."
"Because of you, people who read your stupid stories will
get the wrong impression!" Ranma said coming up stairs.
"Don't worry," I laughed slightly. "nobody reads them
anyway."
"That still doesn't matter, we are all going to get our
revenge." Ranma cracked his knuckles, everyone else started to
advance towards me with a certain evil in their eyes.
Hmmm.. only if I can turn the computer off...
-fin
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"Nothing can beat the music of hundreds of voices screaming in
unison!" - Kefka (Final Fantasy 6)
"The Reaper is always just a step behind me..." - Shadow (Final
Fantasy 6)
http://www.altered.com/yinyang/piccolo.html
"They love least that let them know their love, may say no to that
which they would have contrived I... I follow my love, into the
depth of hell itseeeeelllf!!" -Kuno Tatewaki (Ranma 1/2 Movie one)
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