Ranma: "Under the Hammer", Chapter three.
By Henry J. Cobb
$Id: under_the_hammer_chp3.txt,v 1.2 1996/10/01 06:12:12 hcobb Exp $

The Story so far:

Ranma has paid the ultimate penalty for failure to appreciate
Akane's cooking.

Arriving in heaven, Urd and Belldandy conspired to engage him to Skuld.

On one of his first missions for the Relief Deity Office, he was sent to
comfort his ex-fiancee, now a college sophomore.

Akane naturally wished that he would stay with her forever.

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Akane: "Damn, I shouldn't have done that."

Ranma: "You mean you've already had your opportunity with me and you
    blew it?"

Akane: "No, I could never regret this second chance.  When I saw you
    dead, I realised how much I loved you and could never love another.
    It's just that this is an all-girls dorm."

Many feet on the stairs: Rumble!

Student 1: "Akane!  You know what happens to one who breaks a dorm
    rule!"

Akane: "Yes, I'm expelled, right?"

Student 2: "Out you go."

As the students gather Akane's meagre belongings together, she throws
something to Ranma.

Akane: "Here, hold P-Chan, so he isn't trampled underfoot in this
    confusion."

Ranma: "P-Chan?"

The small black pig snaps at whichever part of Ranma's anatomy that is
offered and winds up chomped to the end of Ranma's pigtail.

Akane, Ranma and a pile of her things are carried downstairs and dumped
next to her motorcycle.

Student 1: "We'll send the rest, when you've got a new address."

Akane:  Packs her stuff into the saddlebags of her faithful stead then
    seats herself on it. "Those robes are flashy and a little
    impractical for motorcycle riding."

Ranma: "Sorry, just a second."  He spins around as unseen voices chant
    "Sailor Moon".  His robes melt away into a fog, as stars and bubbles
    zoom past in the background, then reform as his usual Chinese shirt
    and pants.

P-Chan: Looks a little dizzy from spinning around at the end of Ranma's
    pigtail.

Akane: "Neat, where did you learn that one?"

Ranma: "At boot camp, but I'm not sure I got the right one.  The drill
    sergeant was a cat."  He sits a bit back from Akane on the
    motorcycle, but is forced to hold her tight as she takes off and
    starts weaving through traffic.

Ranma: "So shouldn't P-Chan have gotten a lot bigger in the last four
    years?"

Akane: "No, he's some sort of miniature pig.  I really couldn't have
    asked for a better friend.  It's been tough and he's always been
    there."

Ranma: "Whatever happened to Ryoga?"

Akane: "I don't know, he vanished right after you died.  Nabiki got me
    to pin the murder on him."

P-Chan: Solidly chomped to the end of Ranma's pigtail, blowing around in
    the wind, remains silent.

Ranma: "I wondered why a violent maniac like you was still on the
    loose."

Akane: "Go ahead and insult me.  I deserve it.  I don't deserve you, but
    I'll make it work out between us this time, whatever it takes."

Ranma: "Uh..."

Akane: "This looks like a good place."

Several apartment buildings latter, and no luck.

Akane: "I guess we'll have to go back to the Dojo."

Ranma: "I really can't face everybody right now.  There's this place
    just outside the city we can stay."

On the way to the temple, they miss a turn.

Ranma: "No, wait, we should've turned right back there."

Akane: "OK." She leans the bike way over and takes a 120 degree turn
    down the wrong way of the one-lane on ramp.

Ranma: Is about to comment that she's even more reckless than he
    remembered, when he sees the headlights of an approaching car on the
    curve of the wall ahead.  He instinctively cringes behind her, then
    hears the car pass them.  When he looks up again he notices that she
    is driving on the side wall.  "Where did you learn to drive like
    this?"

Akane: Remains silent until they are in the proper lane of the cross
    street then replies.  "From you.  You always ran on the fence, so I
    figured this is the way you'd drive."

A few more miles and they are at the temple.  It looks like it has been
unused for a season or two.

As Akane unpacks her things, Ranma detaches P-Chan from his hair.

Ranma: "Mind if I give your pig a hot bath?"

Akane: "Not at all, keep it steamy and I'll join you later."

Ranma: pumps several buckets of water from the well, then uses his
    powers to heat the water.  Before he can reach for the pig, P-Chan
    jumps into the tub and is transformed into Ryoga.

Ryoga: "Man, this is great.  I haven't had a hot bath in ages."

Ranma: "Why are you still hanging around as a pig?"

Ryoga: "You heard what she said.  I'm a wanted man.  What was I supposed
    to do, turn her in?  It tore my heart to tatters to lie there every
    night, while she cried herself to sleep, sobbing about how much she
    loved you, but somebody had to be there for her.  I could've been a
    man and one of us would have been locked away forever, or I could be
    the pig in her arms."

Akane: From the other side of the door.  "Ranma darling, are you talking
    to somebody?"

Ranma: Makes rubbing noises between his palms.  "Just washing P-Chan."
    Starts singing. "This is the way we wash the pig, wash the pig, wash
    the pig..."

Ryoga: "One warning, she's totally nuts now.  She tries to cook me up
    for Christmas dinner, every year."  He splashes himself with cold
    water and transforms back into P-Chan.

Ranma: Steps out of the bathroom, making a show of toweling P-Chan off.
    "Here you go, one clean pig."

Akane: "Ranma, you weren't kidding about the wish were you?  You can
    stay with me forever?"

Ranma: "As long as you need me, I'll be here."

Akane: "Good, that'll be forever."  She takes his arm and leads him to
    the lone sleeping bag she's laid out.

Ranma: "Didn't you want to take a bath?"

Akane: "We can do that later."

Ranma: "I really don't need as much sleep as I used to."

Akane: "I wasn't intending to sleep right away ... OK, it's a bit
    sudden.  You need time.  Just remember, I'll be ready when you are."
    She retires to her bath.

Ranma: Steps outside and watches the stars.  Hours later he returns and
    lies down a few feet from her.  When he awakes the next morning, he
    finds himself in the sleeping bag and Akane fixing breakfast in the
    kitchen.

Akane: "Soups up.  Don't worry, I've gotten better."

Ranma: Really?

P-Chan: Gives a quick affirmative nod.

Akane: "Yes really.  See, I'll try it first.  Sorry that it is just
    soup.  The pickings were a little thin."

The broth was edible, if not fine cuisine.

Akane: "We'll have to pick up a few things to make this place livable.
    Are you sure we can stay here?"

Ranma: "Yes, it belongs to a friend of mine."

Akane: While putting the dishes away.  "Ranma, could you heat up another
    tub full?  That new talent of yours is really helpful."

As Akane bathed, P-Chan followed Ranma outside to the woodpile.

Ranma: "Why do I chop wood, when I can achieve the same effects quicker
    with magic?  Magic has side effects.  If you get too dependent on it,
    you spend all of your time looking out for them."

A feminine scream sounds from the Temple.

Ranma: Rushes in find Skuld in a panic.  The goddess now seems to be
    about 17, but is still fairly scrawny.  "What's the matter
    Birdlegs?"

Skuld: "It was horrible, first you didn't show up last night and now
    there's this strange lady in the bathtub!"

Ranma: "Akane!"  He shoves the goddess out of his way and fishes Akane
    out of the bathtub, then wraps her in a towel.

Ranma: "Akane Tendo, meet my fiancee, Skuld, goddess of the future."

Skuld: Holding Ranma tight.  "Always have been, always will be."

Akane: Uncertain if Skuld means the relationship or the responsibility.
    "I'm Ranma's fiancee!"

Skuld: "You're the girl who killed him, aren't you?  Why are you still
    free?  A quick word to the authorities should put an end to that."

Ranma: In a sarcastic, Skuld-like tone of voice.  "Yes officer, that
    woman killed the man who's now my fiancee.  How do I know?  He told
    me.  Here, ask him yourself.  Oh, by the way, I'm a goddess."

Skuld: "Very funny Ranma.  Whatever relationship you had with her ended
    when she killed you.  Till death do us part."

Akane: "Yesterday I wished for Ranma to stay with me always.  Please
    tell me that wasn't a dream."

Skuld: "What!  Why should such a wish be granted, under these
    circumstances?"

Ranma: "I have an agreement with Akane.  I have an agreement with
    Skuld.  I mean to honor both promises.  You are both quite welcome
    to stay.  Akane and I will be going shopping soon.  While we are
    gone could you put your genius to work getting the utilities
    restored, Skuld honey?"

The two females glare at each other, but the peace is kept as Ranma and
Akane prepare for their shopping trip.

Skuld watches them depart on Akane's motorcycle then releases her grip
on the porch railing and turns back inside.

	Henry J. Cobb	hcobb@slip.net          http://www.io.com/~hcobb