[Revengefic] (Rewritten) Nene-chan's revenge

Well, here's the revised version of Nene-chan's Revenge.  Hopefully, this
version will be a bit more humorous, something which was lacking in the
previous version.



     "What a night," I moaned as I walked up the sidewalk to my
grandparents' house.  Unlocking the door, I entered and walked immediately
to the kitchen to make myself a snack.  Once that was done, I retreated to
the relative security of my own room.
     When I opened the door, I nearly fell over in shock.  Perched on the
chair in front of my computer was a rather attractive redhead... one who
seemed quite familiar to me.
     "Nene?" I gasped.
     "Good guess," she mocked.  Immediately, I knew why she was here. 
I should have expected it, but I had assumed that this revengefic thing only
applied to the Ranma writers.  It seemed that I was in error.
     "How long have you been here?" I asked, trying to stall until I could
find a way out of this.
     "Long enough to read through your mail file," she answered with a
wicked grin.
     "My mail... Oh, no."
     "Oh, yes.  You know... I could just forward all of this to the mailing
list...  they'd just LOVE to see some of this stuff."
     "No!"
     Nene just laughed.  "Oh, I probably won't.  We've got better plans."
     "We?" I asked weakly.
     "Yes, we." Sylia's voice sounded from a dark corner.  I hadn't even
noticed her before, in my shock at seeing Nene.  Looking over, I could see
that she was in a wheelchair... also my doing.  This was looking really bad. 
"You see, there's more to this than just Nene's revenge."
     "I'll say," Linna added coldly as she walked in.  "We read your draft
of Collapse."
     I went pale at that.
     "We cannot allow you to write that," Sylia stated firmly.
     I sighed.  "I... understand.  May I ask what you are planning?"
     "That's up to you," Priss threw in as she, too, entered the room. 
"This can be rough, or it can be really rough.  Your choice."
     I visibly shuddered at that.  "Can we just get it over with?"
     "Not yet," Nene taunted me.  "There's still one more person coming
to this party."
     "Who's that?" I asked, my voice trailing off as I realized.  "Chris? 
But I MADE her!  She can't turn against me!"
     Nene laughed out loud.  "You didn't make her... you--"
     "DON'T SAY THAT!"
     "are her!"
     I cringed.  Since all the other retributions had been posted for all to
see, I could only assume that this one was, too.  I would never live this one
down.  "How did you know... I mean, she's a woman!"
     "And you aren't?" Nene mocked, suddenly brandishing a bottle of
water.  "That can be fixed."
     My eyes widened in horror.  "You wouldn't!"
     "I would.  In fact, I probably will."
     "I say don't," Linna laughed.  "One Christine is enough."
     "I say do.  After what he did to me, he deserves it!" Christine's voice
floated into the room, preceding her entrance.
     "Et tu, Chris?" I asked.  "Of all people, how could YOU turn against
me?"
     "You make it easy, trust me," she flashed a saccharine smile in my
direction.
     "Oh, thanks," was my rather bitter response, as I reminded myself
just how much Chris WAS me.... right down to the sarcastic streak.  The
thought of making it a physical match was not exactly a pleasant one.
     "What?  You don't like my body?"  Christine feigned indignation. 
"Give me that!" she held out her hand to Nene.  "I'll show you--"
     "Not a chance," Nene answered.  "If anyone uses it on him, it'll be
me."
     While the two of them argued, I looked for a way out.  Priss was
blocking the door, but I just might be able to slip by.  Springing into action,
I dove for the way out.  Driving a shoulder into Priss, I felt her start to fall. 
Just as I thought I was free, my left arm jerked back.  A sickening crack
sounded, and a flash of pain flared in my wrist and hand.
     "Ahhh..." I cried out, looking back at my assailant.  "Nene?"
     "You taught me how to do that, remember?"
     I groaned, "Oh, yeah."
     "NOW will you cooperate?"
     I nodded, clenching my teeth in a vain effort to block the pain.
     "This doesn't have to be painful," Sylia pointed out.
     I nodded again.
     "It doesn't?" Priss questioned.  "After what he put us... put YOU
through?"
     "I think not.  At least, it need not be more painful than it already has
been."  Sylia affirmed. 
     Priss grumbled, muttering, "We oughta kill the @#$^! $!$%!"
     "Priss!"
     "No... there are worse fates than death," Christine grinned.  "Don't
you agree, Nene?"
     "Oh, yes," Nene shared the wicked smile.  "I think so."  Again the
bottle came out, and I turned just a little more pale than I already was.  Still,
I would not be reduced to begging.
     "So, he accepts his fate like a man?  Such a shame that he won't
look like one for long," Christine gloated.
     With a smile, Nene uncapped the bottle.  Slowly tipping it over my
head, she hesitated.  "No... not yet.  I think we should make him sweat it a
little longer."
     "You ARE evil, Nene," Linna shook her head.
     "He made me this way," she pointed at me, still not replacing the lid
on the bottle.
     I looked up, considering an attempt to intercept the bottle.  "Don't
even think about it," Chris nudged me, "Unless you want me to break your
shoulder, too."
     I sighed.  "Can we please get this over with?"
     "Over with?" Priss laughed.  "Oh, we're just getting started."
     "He doesn't get it, does he?" Linna laughed.
     "Not even close," Priss chuckled.  "You see, you'll never get away
from us.  After all, we've got to make sure you NEVER write that other
story."
     I groaned.  "You mean... you're staying?"
     "Oh, yeah.  But not here... we've got plans for that, too."
     "Plans...?" I asked nervously.
     "Oh, you'll like this part," Nene smiled.  "We're not ALL bad."
     Christine interrupted her.  "After all, the way we see it, the best way
to make sure you don't write that story is not to give you the time.  So..."
     Nene picked it up again, "We're going to take you to be with your
fianc�e... permanently."
     My demeanor lightened a little.  "Really?"
     "Really.  Of course, we'll be keeping an eye on you, so you'll need a
big apartment."
     I rolled my eyes, "I knew there was a catch."
     "Relax... we're not bad roommates, except for Priss," Nene stuck out
her tongue."
     "Hey!" Priss shouted.  "I ought to..."  she lunged at Nene, who
nimbly stepped aside.  As she did, however the bottle slipped from her
hand...
     ... and crashed to the floor, narrowly missing my head.  The carpet
soaked up the water, and I chuckled lightly at my narrow escape.
     "Priss!" Nene shouted.
     "Oops... sorry," she looked rather sheepish.
     "Thanks," I laughed, very happy to still be male.
     "Oh, well.  There's only one thing left to do before we go. 
Attaching a device to my computer, Nene stood.  "That will transmit
everything that's happened here to the ML.  I'll set it to send in a couple of
minutes."
     I looked quickly at the black box, and she laughed.  "You can't stop
it.  Don't bother."
     "Well, we'll be going now.  You'll hear from us tomorrow regarding
your new living arrangements," Sylia concluded.  "Knight Sabers, let's go."
     One by one, they filed out of the room until only Christine and Nene
remained.  Before they left, they turned to face me.  Nene's smile seemed a
little bit too pleased, and I was instinctively wary.
     "Oh, one more thing," Nene laughed.  Suddenly, water pistols
appeared in each of their hands.  Before I could find cover, I was thoroughly
soaked... with the expected effect.  Looking in the mirror, I stared straight
into the eyes of... Christine.
     "No...." I groaned.
     "Enjoy," Nene taunted, and they were gone, leaving me alone to deal
with the new state of things.
     Somehow, I expect that the revenge is just beginning.