The first (few) time(s) I posted this, I received no reply. Hopefully,
things'll change this time around. For info's sake, this is set in the
same 'universe' as RpM's The More Things Change and The Pursuit of
Happiness.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------
Ranma 1/2:The Way Things Are
-------------------------------
a Fan-Fiction by
Kevin Eav
edited by : RPM
based on: The More Things Change
and
The Pursuit of Happiness
inspired by: Rumiko Takahashi
characters owned by:
Rumiko Takahashi
with the exception of those
owned by: RPM
------------------
Act I : Preludes
------------------
[Somewhere in China, 3 weeks ago]
Deep in the mountains of Japan, a young man was running. He wasn't
running for the joy of running, nor for the exercise.
He was running because he feared for his life.
The young man didn't know *why* he was scared, just that he was, and
that there were people out there chasing him, trying to kill him. People
that wouldn't hesitate to clear out an entire town to get to him.
He ran until his endurance was depleted, then sank to the ground and
began to do what he always did when he was resting. He tried to remember
what he was running from, and why, and who he was.
He had a few problems. First on the list was that he
didn't know his own name, admittedly a problem when you need to seek
help, and the first thing people ask is "what's your name?" Not only
that, but he didn't know anything about himself. His memories are like a
huge blank slate; the only thing he can remember is running. As far as
he knows, he's been running for his whole life, though his dreams are
filled, sometimes, with images of a life wholly different from his,
images of happy times, of training in martial arts with two
kindly-looking men he believed to be his father and (possibly)
grandfather, of watching them fight for the glory of combat, of testing
ptheir skill versus anothers. But the dreams always slipped away, leaving
him with nothing but cold, hard fear and the overwhelming need to flee.
He sighed, hearing the now-familiar sounds of pursuit. Time to run
again. He sighed again. <Maybe I'll be able to find help in Japan, like
that old ghoul said.> <Wait a minute, I don't know my own name, much
less where Japan is! Oh well....the ghoul said to go east, so I'll go
east...I sure hope that she's not one of them... Nah, she couldn't be,
she was wonderfully helpful after that one girl attacked me...dunno what
happened then, but after that, she was real helpful, pointing out the
way to Japan. She said that she had family there that could
help...lessee, name of are...Cologne ....weird name, just like all of
them. Who'd name people after hygiene products and such? Oh well, at
least I got that girl to stop following me and calling me airen,
whatever that means.>
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[Morning at the Tendo Dojo]
Ranma stretched. <Wow, that felt good.> He sniffed the air, catching
the aroma of miso soup and rice. <MMmmm....breakfast time, better get down
there before the food's all gone.> He got up, going by the room he used to
share with his dad before his mother had come by, and sighed. <Those two
make so much noise...I'll have to ask Nabiki about soundproofing my room.>
He arrived at the table, greeting everyone with a hearty "Ohayo!", and
giving Akane a quick hug. Now, normally, everyone would have face-faulted
and expected a earth-to-LEO express, but as Ranma and Akane had admitted
their love for each other sometime ago, it didn't even draw a blink.
Ranma was happy. <Yep, life is good.> He grabbed his food and began to
inhale it in the usual manner. Again, normally this would draw a comment
about eating like a pig from Akane, but Normality[1] had adjusted her to
this fact of life, and she just took it in stride. "So, Ranma, whatcha
got planned today?"
"C'mon, Akane, you know I *never* plan ahead!" Ranma replied
matter-of-factly. "But I did want to visit Ukyo and Ryoga, see what
they're up to. Maybe we could all go on a picnic or something."
"Hmm, sounds good, Ranma...what say we go about 11:00?" Akane said.
"Ok." Ranma sighed, since he _knew_ what was coming next, and
though he never passed up the chance to work on his martial arts, he
wasn't feeling particularly alert yet, and he knew that'd be a problem.
"So, Ranma, ready to get your butt whipped?" Akane challenged him,
as had become common, since Genma never seemed to have the energy to get
up and train with Ranma ever since Nodoka had come by the Dojo. Ranma
sighed.
"Yeah, whatever, Akane, you know I could beat you any day of the week."
Ranma said, then got up and followed Akane to the dojo. <I have to admit,
though, she's been getting one hell of a lot better in the past few
months.> They took their usual stances, and Akane began the attack,
snapping off a roundhouse kick and a jab at Ranma's head, both of which
were dodged. Akane followed up with a low sweep, knocking Ranma to his butt.
"Ite..." Ranma flipped up and to his feet, then launched his own series
of attacks, catching Akane twice in the stomach and once in the shoulder
with a couple of snap kicks and a left hook.
Akane grunted, and attacked again. This time, she was quicker than
Ranma expected, and he was slower, owing to the fact that he still hadn't
quite fully awakened, and she caught him unawares with an uppercut that
knocked him silly for a bit. "Oh! Ranma...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit
that hard." Akane was so wrapped up in apologizing, she almost missed
the fact that Ranma was launching his own attacks, upping the speed,
and hitting her several times, albeit at about a tenth of his full
strength. She winced, but managed to recover and countered a few of
the attacks, catching him with a kidney punch. Ranma was about to be
beaten, though, and quickly swept Akane and then followed up as if to
give the finishing blow, and stopped, just jabbing her lightly. As
Ranma caught his breath, he looked at her curiously. "Hey Akane, I
want to try something else today."
"Ummm...ok, Ranma, whatever you say...what did you have in mind?"
Akane was tending to her bruises as she normally did after such a match.
"Akane, you're a very good martial artist. But I think you've
reached your limits as a fighter, and to be honest, you're still not as good
as Ukyo or Shampoo, especially when they have the advantage of weapons and
ranged attacks. *WHAM* "ITAI!!!" Akane whipped her mallet to the ready
position, and yelled "So you don't think I'm very good, do you?"
"(ite..) That's not what I meant! Akane, do you know _why_ you
couldn't defeat Ukyo or Shampoo unless you really had to?"
"What do you mean?" asked an Akane whose anger was rapidly deflating
(whoosh) in the face of Ranma's new-found rationality.
"It's simple. Ukyo, Shampoo, Kodachi--they're all better than you
are, but _not_ skill-wise. They have better control of their ki, and
that's one of the most important fighting tools anyone can have."
"Akane, I think we need to start developing your control of ki, and
see what happens...." Ranma considered her for a moment. "Maybe
you could even develop a ki-attack, to keep you in the same league
as the others. Hmm....no chance of your learning the Shishi Houkoudan, I
don't think. The Mouko Takabisha is possible, you're certainly
confident enough---but...I think you and I should develop you a unique
attack. A surprise, for the next person to come around and try and take
you away, or use you as bait."
"Ok, Ranma....so, where do we start?" Akane was mildly surprised at
the way Ranma was acting, but decided to go along with it; it couldn't
hurt to try, anyway.
Ranma grabbed the back of his head apologetically. "Anoo...well...
let's see....hmm...ok. We'll have to start by having you find the point
where your ki is in balance."
"Find the...point where my ki is in balance? How? Why?" Akane was
puzzled.
"Just sit down, and start breathing deep. Yeah, that's it. Ok...now...
search for your inner reserve of energy. You know, the one that you use to
make yourself super-strong when you smash me. As for the why...well, in
order for you to control your ki, you have to know when it's in balance
and when it's not, otherwise you can't manipulate it properly. When I
use my Mouko Takabisha, for example, I take the ki that's based on
confidence, concentrate it at my balance-point, and then 'push' it
outwards. It sounds simple, but it's hard to do. I can do it so easily
only because I've had lots of practice."
Akane sat, and breathed deeply, mentally searching for the point at
which her ki was in "balance." <Ranma said that I would know it...he
said it would feel like a well of power....strength, he said. I...OH!
Damn....lost it.> She came out of her trance-like state and said "Wow.
So _that's_ what it feels like."
Ranma nodded. "Yup, that's it. You'll get it...it takes time."[2]
Their training continued for a while, with some progress, then they
bathed (separately, you hentais :) and headed off for Ucchan's.
[1] Normality--as explained in The More Things Change--was in the
business of getting things adjusted. When Ranma and Akane decided to
officialize the engagement they unknowningly destroyed some of the blocks
keeping Normality from doing it's job; thus, Normality was able to nudge
Akane into accepting Ranma's eating habits, and into accepting his
gimme-a-break-i'm-trying-to-learn attempts at romance and affection.
[2] Some of you may be thinking, rightfully so, that Ranma seems a bit,
well, too rational and calm. There's a reason for this. First of all,
he's _really_ trying not to provoke Akane. Second of all, he's starting
to experience the joys of teaching, and that's helping to cancel out his
quick temper.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Ucchan's, about 10:45 am]
Ryoga was, for once, (although frequencies were starting to go up,)
actually quite happy. The business was good, but not stifling, the
weather was nice, and he hadn't gotten lost in the last five minutes.
Delivering his orders, he started back to the counter to collect the
next orders to deliver. He had a beatific grin on his face when
he approached Ukyo at the griddle. " 'k, Ukyo, ready for the next orders."
"Wow, what's got you so happy?" Oblivious to Ryoga's blushing, as
he stared at her with that idiotically happy grin on his face, she
continued with " 'k, here's the next three orders. You're doin' real
good, Ryoga....haven't gotten lost in the last seven minutes!"
Ryoga glowed with pride at her statement as he got the orders.
"Thanks, Ukyo!"
Ukyo looked up for a sec, immediately shading her eyes as Ryoga
glowed like a halogen lightbulb that'd been struck by Kuno's lightning.
"Hey Ryoga, I'm glad you're happy, but...uh...tone it down, just a bit,
don't want to blind the customers, now do we?" she whispered, inwardly
*very* happy that he was glowing with happiness and not depression as he
was prone to just a few months ago.
"Oh, sure, no problem, Uk-chan," as he brought his glow down to
penlight power. He wandered off to find the tables, not noticing Ukyo's
sudden start to his use of Uk-chan, or the ruined okonomiyaki that her
jolt had sent to the ceiling.
Ukyo, for one, was *extremely* glad to see Ranma and Akane walk
through the door at this point, as it saved her from having to think
about her and Ryoga's situation. "Hey, Akane, Ranma, take a seat, I'll
be by in a sec," she and Ryoga said, in stereo, as they had taken to
doing whenever the two came by to visit.
Akane and Ranma took their "reserved" table that Ukyo and Ryoga left
for them (which wasn't really reserved, not unless you counted the sign
that said "For Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo" hanging above it, and the
glares a new customer got every time he tried to sit there when the place
was full, or the spatula and umbrellas that were used in final defense of
the table) and waited patiently for the crowd to die off. Die off they
did (and I mean the crowd left, not died--this isn't _Akane_ cooking), and
pretty soon the place was empty, and Ryoga and Ukyo sat across from the
(somewhat) happy pair.
"So....what'd you guys come by here for?" said Ukyo.
"Well, here's the deal....we thought it'd be nice to have a picnic,
take a day with our friends....you know we haven't all been together in a
long time, ever since...then...and I promise I won't cook anything." said Akane,
noticing that Ranma made absolutely no comment about the last part of her
sentence, due mainly to the fact that he was really trying hard to be better,
especially in public, and also he felt that Ukyo and Ryoga wouldn't take too
kindly to Akane and him ripping apart the restaurant.
Ryoga spoke up for both of them. "Sure, sounds good....what say you
go and get ready and we come by about 3:00 pm?"
Ukyo stared at him. "Hey, what about the restaurant?"
Ryoga stared back. "We can afford a day off, can't we? C'mon,
we've been working for 3 weeks straight, and I know I'd like to take a
break for the day."
Ukyo gave in. "Oh, ok, we'll be by about 3:00. Hey, would you two
mind if we brought Mousse along? He's feeling kinda depressed."
Ranma nodded. "Yeah, this'll be just the thing to cheer him
up--we'll grab everyone else (minus the Kuno clan, of course.)"
Ryoga smiled. This would be just the thing to lighten everyone up.
"Great, we'll see ya then," he said aloud to the couple.
Ranma and Akane quickly said their goodbyes and left to tell
everyone else.
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[11:30 am, Tendo Dojo]
After arriving back home, Ranma and Akane decided to call around to
let people know about the picnic.
*RING* "Hello?"
"Hey, Gosunkugi, we're having a picnic today at 3:00. You 'n Manami
are invited."
"Ok....we'll be there, I'm sure."
"Alright. We're meeting here at 3:00. See ya then." *CLICK*
*RING*
"Hey Akari! I was just calling to let you know that we're planning
a picnic at 3:00 here. Well, not here, but we're all meeting here.
*murmur* Yeah. Ok. Umm...you might not want to bring Ryo, or it could
get ugly. Yeah, I know. Ok. See ya then."
"Hey Ryoko....yeah....we're having a picnic. Yeah, _he_ might be
there. Think you can help with damage control? All right, thanks."
*CLICK*
And so on, and so on, and so on. It was to be a reunion of sorts; they'd all
gone their separate ways for a while, and this would mark their return
to Nerima.
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[2:30 pm, Maison Ikkoku, room 3]
Kyoko was bored. There wasn't much to expound on. She was bored.
Kyoko had just returned to musing about her current state of lethargy
when Ryoko walked in. "Hey, Kyoko, whatcha doin'?"
Kyoko sighed. "I'm counting the holes in the ceiling, what else?"
She suddenly got a bright idea, and bounced up happily, saying "Hey
oneechan, wanna go to the park or something? We could go get Megane and
take a little walk, you know!"
Ryoko smiled. "I've got an even better idea. The poker group
invited us on a picnic--feel like goin'?"
"Yippee!!!! Let's go!" Kyoko brightened considerably. "Umm....wait..
is..*she* going to be there?" Ryoko nodded a possible yes. Kyoko cried, "No way!
I don't wanna go anywhere *she* is!! She's *so* unkawaii." Ryoko shrugged,
"Ok, whatever. I'll go collect Megane from King's..geez...just got back and
he's playin' already. You be good, ok? I gotta get goin', we gotta be at the
Dojo by 3." Ryoko paused a moment. "Oh...and *don't* tell the other
tenants where I'm going. They're enough to make anyone want to leave
this place, too bad we can't afford better." Kyoko nodded in the affirmative,
and Ryoko went about her way, gathering supplies, and then trekking down
to King's. Once there, she literally dragged Megane off, although he
insisted on bringing his sax. They took their leave and went off to the
Tendo Dojo.
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[3 pm, one week ago, the Nekohanten]
Cologne looked up as Shampoo entered the ramen shop. "Hello,
great-grandmother! Shampoo back from deliveries." Shampoo looked
curiously at the letter which Cologne had been reading. "What that,
great-grandmother?"
Cologne smiled. "It's a letter from your great-great-aunt Perfume.
Apparently, they had a young man come through the village since we left,
and he's defeated Hairspray." Shampoo hissed. She had a running grudge
against Hairspray, against whom she suffered her only defeat. Of course,
it was when they were 5, but that didn't matter to Shampoo. Cologne
continued with "She also writes that he's on the run from a
group of assassins that wish to kill or capture him. She has sent him in
our direction, hoping that we can help. Since he is now part of the
tribe, we are required to help, even if we were exiled, since were are
still part of the tribe."
Shampoo nodded. "What this boy's name, Great-grandmother?"
Cologne frowned. "That I do not know. But Perfume has described
him as about 5' 9", well-built, with violet eyes. He's wearing a brown
shirt, and blue trousers, and looks continually lost and frightened.
Here in Nerima, not many answer to that description. We will find him,
no doubt."
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[2:50, outside the Nekohanten]
Cologne looked around one last time, making sure that she hadn't
forgotten anything for the picnic. "Everybody ready?" <Hmm...let's
see. Staff, passion spice, sleep spice, cold water for Mousse, yep, got
everything.> The three former Joketsuzoku amazons met up and started off
for the Tendo Dojo.
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[3 pm, outside the Nekohanten]
The young man looked up. <Finally. At last I've made it to Japan.
Now, to find this Cologne person.> He walked up to the nearest person
and said "Which way to Nerima?" after consulting the instructions written
down for him by the old ghoul. After a week of walking, he'd made it. The
only problem was that he didn't know his way around Nerima, which
would've been a big problem just a few minutes ago. Now, however, it
didn't really seem to matter. Not much of the extraneous stuff does,
when you're running for your life. Oh, he was running before, but now,
he was _running_. The goons had caught up with him, and currently six
of them were chasing him down the street. He looked up from his
dead-heat run to see six more pop out in front of him, smirking as they
brought their weapons to ready position. He sighed. <This is just not
my lifetime.> He looked around, assessing the battlefield, such as it
was, and had the time to notice the sign reading "Nekohanten" and think
<Hey! I've found the place! Too bad they caught up with me now,
though...> before all hell broke loose.
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[3:00 pm, Tendo Dojo]
Ranma looked around with a small sense of satisfaction, and no
small sense of trepidation. Wouldn't you, bringing all your friendly
rivals out to kill you and their relatives and *their* rivals around to one
spot? Anyway, Ranma looked out over the crowd, shouted, "Oi! We
ready to go?" and waited. He got the usual nods and mutters, and he
was about to start off when Akane suddenly shouted, "And please,
no fighting today?" Ryo, Ryouga, and Ranma gave a sudden start,
and Akari, Ukyou and Akane winked at each other; they'd discussed
this before, and they pretty much knew what was gonna happen.
Ergo, they discussed strategies over coffee at King's, coming up
with several to try. This was test-run number one. The group got
moving as a group (Baaa! Moooo!) and ambled off to Tai Park,
chattering excitedly amongst themselves, except, of course, the
dour Ryo, who was just looking rather dour and uninterested, arm
in arm with Akari. Surprisingly, they made it all the way to the
park without violence, and and Ranma was feeling pretty good about
himself. <Yeah...this is all right! This is gonna be a good day!>
None of them noticed the figure in the shadows trailing them,
brushes strapped to back. (Ranma is a rotten fortuneteller.)
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[3:10 pm, somewhere in Nerima]
Ishido ran. He didn't know where to, or where from, but he
knew he had to run. They had nearly gotten him back at the
Nekohanten <who're they?> but somehow he had gotten away,
<how><don't ask just run> and was only interested in finding
somewhere, anywhere, to hide. He knew it was cowardly, and
that...someone<who?>wouldn't approve, but he didn't have much
choice. He stumbled, pushing and shoving past unknown people
<obstacles gotta get away> until, finally, he was in the open.
This was *not* where he wanted to be <nonono> so he ran some
more, looking for a dark hole to crawl into.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ranma watched, still in a bit of shock, at what he'd caused.
It was amazing; unbelieveable; the knowledgeable citizens of
Nerima would talk about it for months! What an event---all of
the city's major martial artists and property destroyers, and not
one fight started.
Ryouga and Mousse were discussing some
of the finer points of hammerspace quantum theory, both being
experts in certain aspects of it; Mousse was generally considered
the master, but Ryouga was a specialist in the multiphonic
layer theory. Mousse was showing some of the finer points in
subhammerspace arrayed applications, and Ryouga was going to
trade him techniques for increasing the density of his multiphonic
stacklayer. It was quite an animated discussion, really.
Ukyou and Shampoo were trading cooking pointers (Ukyou wanted to
learn ramen for future incorporation into Ucchan's, and Shampoo
wanted to be able to use the passion pancakes to their full
potency.) They were sitting across from each other at little mini-grills
and stoves, while they taught each other. Akane was taking notes,
and was going to show them how to make that curry (having specialized
so far, both Ukyou and Shampoo wanted to eat something that *wasn't*
okonomiyaki or ramen.) Akane considered something, then offered to
ask Kasumi for some recipes later for the both of them, something which
they both agreed to:if one thing was universal in the world, it was that
Kasumi's cooking had no equal. (Well, neither did Akane's, but that's
not exactly something you want to tout.)
Ryo was sittin' up in a tree while Akari and Ryoko chatted, Megane was
practicing a ballad called "Misty", apparently a big hit in the gaijin States,
and Kyoko was sitting, talking kawaii with Azusa. Amazingly, no trouble
from the somewhat...provokable...UWSMA folks. Of course, that was
largely because Tanya was nowhere to be found. She was probably there,
somewhere, but she was being quiet. Unbelieveable. Ranma smiled a
small little smile to himself, and leaned back to rest against a tree.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
[right now, other side of Tai Park]
Ishido ran blindly, senses overloaded on fear and unreasoning terror.
Twice he stumbled; twice he scrambled to his feet and pressed on.
Somewhere in his mind, he noticed the sounds of pursuit getting ever
closer. It scared him. He crashed through some bushes, trampling
the flora underneath (and giving one watching gardener a heart attack)
and suddenly burst into another clearing. <wherewhowhat> But, even
as he paused, he realized it was too late as his mind screamed and
succumbed to the emotions boiling over in him. Consciousness fled
and the darkness welcomed him gently. He never felt the ki-projectile
that slammed into his back and sent him flying across the park and
rolling to come up just short of bowling the happily picnicing group.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things were going good for the group. Apparently, the time
away had lessened the some of the tension between certain
members...not that that said much, anyway. Much was being done,
however subtly, to keep certain people apart, usually a Muhoshin and
some other Neriman. Even more specifically, Azusa and Kyoko.
Akari stuck to Ryo like superglue, incredibly kind, attentive, and
loving. Ryo was *just* this side of indifferent.. which gave his
siblings a shock, usually he was a lot colder.
Ukyou stuck to Ryouga like superglue.. well... really because she
didn't have much of a choice. It was either that, or drift between all
her 'friends'. Besides, she had to be there, for damage control.
Amazingly enough, people were getting along. Oh, sure, there were
your occasional cold-water splashes, and death threats and challenges,
but then, what kind of day in Nerima is it without such things?
Someone got a game of frisbee going, with the adjunction that no
martial-arts skills were to be used. They apparently liked their
frisbee and didn't relish buying a new one. It was a good day, was the
(almost) universal vote;there was one nay (Ryo, of course), and one
abstainment (Megane, who would rather, all things considered, have been
playin' back at King's bar, but never ever passed up free food.)
What they didn't know was that this was all about to change.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
K-chan -- known in her spare time as Kevin Eav
First Deacon of the Church of Ryouga, Keeper of the Sacred Compass
Victim of the 'Sauce' revengefic phenomenon
Author, musician, and otaku
Member of Okonomiyaki Addicts Anonymous -- Long live Ukyou
email:geist@holly.colostate.edu hikaru@humbug.org.au
Ishido@RanmaMUCK Wan@FT Wan@PikuMUCK Shidou_Hikaru@AnimeMUCK Kevin@RL