Aa! Megami-sensei! by Peter Ward Episode 13: Demonic Pranks "Ummmm...Kiddy, there's something I have to tell you." Kiddy Sazan turned from chatting with her lab partner, Takaya Michiko, to face Tendo Nabiki standing by her. Nabiki was wearing a despairing look on her face and holding a box. "Morning, Nabiki. What's up?" "Well, you know the microphone you lent me recently?" Nabiki asked, not quite making eye-contact with the alien girl with spiky pink hair. "Oh, yeah, that." "Well, something happened to it..." Nabiki said while setting the box down on the lab table in front of Kiddy. Inside was the remains of the microphone in question. "Buffy plugged the power cord from the battery pack into the jack for the line cord. I know. She called me yesterday and told me all about it. She also said to take it easy on you since she was the one responsible." "Really? I didn't expect her to do that." Nabiki said, genuinely surprised. "Well, since she explained everything, I'll go ahead and go easy on you. I know how much you hate to lose money, so you won't owe me a single yen. You'll just owe me a favor, that's all." "That's all, huh?" Nabiki said sarcastically. "Would you rather pay for the damages, then?" Kiddy asked with a glint in her green eyes. "Uhhh...no, that's okay, really!" Nabiki stammered, waving her hand in front of her. "Good. Let me think of what kind of favor you can do for me and I'll get back to you, okay?" Nabiki agreed and headed off to her own lab team. Michiko watched for a bit, then said to Kiddy, "You're feeling generous, partner. You let Nabiki off easy by not even charging her." "Who says I'm being generous, Michiko?" Kiddy said with a wink. "I didn't say just what kind of favor she'll be owing me, right?" "Ahah!" "Besides, I figure I owe her one for charging me 25% interest on that 1000-yen loan last month, saying that it was normal for you humans to charge that high among friends. Good thing you and Billie straightened me out on that!" "Hey, what are friends for?" Michiko said. "You really have to be careful around Nabiki, you know. I heard that she was charg- ing similar rates to most of the other aliens on campus at the time, duping them into thinking that it was normal." "Yup. Good thing we put the story in the school paper or else she'd bankrupt a good portion of the student body before they knew it." "Hah! Good thing I wasn't one of those poor suckers!" Joat-mon Kil'tar boomed as he took his seat at the lab table along with Billie Kraftwerk. "Oh, shut up." Kiddy shot to the 7-foot-tall feline being that was another lab partner of hers. "Ooooo...still upset at my little gag on Friday?" Joat-mon teased Kiddy. "That wasn't funny and you know it!" Kiddy spat out. "What if you hurt poor Billie with that electrified seat cushion?" "Um, er, Kiddy...it's all right, really." Billie stammered. "I mean, I wasn't seriously hurt or anything...." "Oh, um, hi there Billie." Kiddy greeted the German transfer student nervously, blushing slightly. Joat-mon noticed this and laughed out loud. "What's this? Does our little miss cyberpunk here have the hots for Kraftwerk here or what?" "Joat-mon!" Kiddy shouted. "Leave her alone!" Michiko added, coming to her friend's defense. "Don't be such an insensitive jerk about it! If you don't stop it, I'll write up a story about your prank on the fourth period boys' PE class last week. You know, the one with the paint being put into the locker room showerheads...." "You wouldn't..." "Yes, I would." Michiko confirmed while playing idly with her long curly hair. "I'm sure those boys would love to know who was responsible..." "Okay, I'll shut up." "Good." Michiko smiled as she got her chemistry and alchemy texts out of her bookbag. There was debate among those who knew her and Tendo Kasumi as to which girl had the most disarming smile. Of course, it was a question of who needed it more. While Kasumi needed it to keep a relative peace in the Tendo household, Michiko was undeniably the biggest gossip in school and needed something to keep herself out of trouble. While everyone was getting settled in for class, Urd shambled in. Unlike her usual energetic self, Urd looked as if she got off a rough boat or plane ride and was in need for an economy-sized bottle of Dramamine. While most of the class was murmuring about the teacher's condition, six students were not at all surprised. Nabiki and Jun had first-hand knowledge of Urd's experience with Akane's cooking the previous weekend. Two of Nabiki's lab partners, Buffy and Suzie, left the Tendo house before that incident but knew that Urd was insistent on trying Akane's cooking. "Hey, what's up with the teach?" Joat-mon said out of curiosity. Like most of the males in Urd's classes, he always looked forward to being able to gaze upon his sexy teacher every school day. Of course, he didn't do anything further than that, since she was fully capable of calling down lightning strikes on those who annoyed her. Her ill condition did not flatter her looks one bit. "That was another thing Buffy told me over the phone." Kiddy said, being the fifth student (and Michiko being the sixth by extension) unsurprised by the teacher's appearance. "She said that Urd was visiting the Tendos and was insisting on trying out Akane's cooking. Something to do with figuring out which of Ranma's fiancees was the best one." "No kidding?" Joat-mon gaped. Billie was unfazed since he was pretty clueless a lot of the time. "I've heard horror stories about that girl's cooking." he continued. "Man, you have to feel sorry for Ranma since he's engaged to her. Was this last night?" "Nope...two nights ago." "And she's still sick after two days." Michiko commented. "Must've been a doozy of a dish." While the room buzzed to Urd's annoyance (food poisoning does little for one's temper), another person moved around. However, this person went unnoticed since she was invisible. Normally, the sulfuric stench that she gave off would've given away her presence, but that, too, went unnoticed. Everyone wrote it off as being normal for a chemistry lab. Unfortunately, it was definitely not normal, for the stench came not from chemicals, but from the little demoness Dorllir. For the past few months, she had been assigned to assist Marller in getting the Norns off of the mortal plane. During that time, she had been helping out with reconnaissance at both the temple and at Furinkan high. Initially, she screwed up since she had a weakness for cute things, but she redeemed herself by putting in a tap to the school's closed-circuit video security system (installed at the insistence of the authorities) and keeping a close eye on Urd's students using her ability to turn invisible. One student wound up standing out to the two demonesses as well as their ally, Mishima Sayoko. The one student who rapidly became infamous for his pranks and stunts. Yes, Joat-mon Kil'tar had caught the eyes of the unholy trio and a plan was about to be put into motion. Dorllir stifled a giggle as Joat-mon sneaked a few chemical vials out of his bag. She recognized the chemicals easily enough...the ingredients for a stink bomb. Dorllir thought. With that, Dorllir produced a vial of habanero pepper extract. This was easily the hottest substance known to mortals, and putting it into a stink bomb would really make things nasty. However, this was not enough for Dorllir. Dorllir mused as she slipped the extract among Joat-mon's small chemical collection. At the same time, she whispered "Hey, let me add this to the stink bomb!" into his ear. Another of her powers was to suggest something by whispering into someone's ear, making them think that it was their idea in the first place. She looked at the cabinets behind Urd's desk and saw that they were locked. Dorllir got her break when the roar of a crowd of girls came in through the lab windows. Urd made her way to the windows with most of the class to find Happosai running around outside with one of the girls' PE classes in hot pursuit. As usual, Happosai had to do a fair amount of dodging as well as running due to some of the aliens in the neighborhood having powers. In fact, some of the various shots (such as electrical bolts, fireballs, and sonic blasts) came not from the mob, but from other students in the main building. It had become a grim sport to use the old lecher as target practice during the past few months. However, Urd was not in the mood for games. Raising an arm, she chanted a spell and a lightning strike came charging down. Unfortunately, due to her condition, her aim was way off. Principal Kuno, who had gone out to see what the commotion was about and to discipline those responsible, was hit instead. "Aw, hell!" Urd cursed as the charbroiled principal staggered around outside. "Just what I need. I'm beginning to really hate Mondays...." Luckily, the blast from Urd's lightning strike was enough to slow down Happosai for a critical moment, and he got hit by an elec- trical bolt from Kiddy. Other energy attacks found their marks, and the mob soon caught up to him. The students inside the school building turned away, well aware that it would not be a pretty sight when the mob was done with the ancient pervert. All this activity was enough to give Dorllir the cover she needed to pick the lock, slip the container of sulfur out of the cabi- net, and close up the cabinet again. She was able to get back to the lab table where Joat-mon remained, preparing the stink bomb in secret. Dorllir beamed as she slipped the container of sulfur onto the table. Slipping out the door as everyone headed away from the windows, Dorllir added mentally, Several minutes later, a loud poof was heard from the chemistry lab, followed by the fire alarms and the sound of the entire student body panicking as they evacuated the school grounds while dealing with the fumes spreading throughout the school. * * * * * * * * * * "This morning, students at one of Nerima district's high schools were forced to evacuate when a chemical explosion occurred in one of the classrooms. For more, here's Kanzaki Hibiki, live at the scene." A loud shout of victory could be heard at the Mishima house at that moment during the evening newscast. Neighbors were left wondering why such cries of joy were heard repeatedly throughout the day. Marller, Sayoko, and Dorllir were inside, enjoying the thrill of a plan being put successfully into motion. They quieted down as Kanzaki started his live report. "Thank you. I'm at Furinkan high school, where chemical bomb of some kind was set off during the first period classes, forcing the evacuation of the entire student body. It was determined that the bomb went off in the chemistry lab several minutes after class started. According to some of the victims, the gas was overpowering and smelled heavily of sulfur. There were also complaints of a corrosive quality to the gas, leading to instanc- es of eye irritation and pained breathing." The footage switched to a scene soon after the stink bomb went off. On the screen was a weary Noriko, surrounded by other victims of the bomb that she was helping treat. "I don't know what happened exactly." Noriko choked out. "One minute, we were reviewing our homework, the next minute, we had to fight off this cloud of fumes. I'm lucky since I had a seat by the door, but some of my classmates weren't so lucky. I think that if it weren't for Mackie, the mechanoid in our class, things might've been a lot worse since the fumes didn't affect him any." The scene switched to Kuno Tatewaki, obviously in the middle of a long, drawn-out speech. "Yes. I, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan high, Kuno Tatewaki, will bring the base villain responsible for this craven attack on my fellow students to justice. The wrath of heaven will be swift and sure, and I will be the one to administer it once the cretin has been found..." "That was, of course, Kuno Tatewaki, the son of the principal here." Hibiki cut back in with his report. "The chemistry class in question was taught by Urd, a new teacher at Furinkan high school that we profiled a few months back when the school year started. There is now controversy surrounding the teacher as a result of this incident in her class. Rumor has it that one of the students was able to sneak some chemicals out of the cabinets while everyone else was distracted by another incident outside." "Also, some of the parents in the neighborhood have expressed concern over the attire of the new teacher, calling it provoca- tive and distracting for the students here. Others have called attention to the unorthodox methods of teaching that Urd-sensei have used. However, concerns over those methods were abated when it was pointed out that the teacher is not from this world. For the time being, Urd-sensei is on administrative leave until the incident is reviewed... "Wait a minute, I'm getting word from our studios that we have gotten footage from the school's video systems...let's switch back." The anchorwoman came back onto the screen, introducing the video clip in question. As it rolled, it showed Joat-mon sneaking over to the cabinet, sneaking the container out, and sneaking back over. "Isn't digital retouching fun?" Dorllir beamed at her handiwork. Part of the tap she put into the video system was the ability to modify footage to suit their needs from Sayoko's house. "Yeah, yeah, so you have some uses after all." Marller replied in an unimpressed manner. The anchorwoman continued after the footage played itself out. "The student shown in the videotape has been identified as Joat-mon Kil'tar, who remains missing after the school's evacua- tion. Anyone seeing this alien should not attempt to apprehend him, but they should contact the Alien Control Forces at the number listed on the screen." The three conspirators exchanged high-fives as Sayoko finally clicked the TV off using her remote. "Well, looks like it's time for me to play my part." she said. "Yup." Marller confirmed. "You get to stir up neighborhood opposition to the new 'teacher' by being the 'concerned citizen'. Of course, your job's going to be much easier if the news reports are right." "Right. Just don't turn my house into one of the lower pits of hell or whatever while I'm gone, okay? Daddy's not going to like that kind of thing." "Okay, okay..." Marller groused as Sayoko picked up a ready suitcase and stepped out the door. * * * * * * * * * * "Suspended without pay?! It wasn't even my fault, you jerk!!!" Belldandy, Keiichi, and Jun winced as Urd slammed the phone back on the hook, nearly breaking it in the process. While Jun had seen few instances of what happens when Urd loses her temper, both Belldandy and Keiichi were all too familiar with the re- sults. Before Urd could vent further, Skuld strutted in the room with a big smile on her face. "So, Urd finally blows her first job on the mortal plane! I knew that she'd screw up sooner or later. I'm just surprised that she lasted this long..." "Why you little brat..." Urd growled as electrical bolts started crackling around her raised fist. "That's enough, you two!" Belldandy shouted, which was a rare instance. "Skuld, you should know better than to tease Urd when something like this happens." "Yes, sis..." a chastised Skuld said meekly. "Now, Urd, how do you think that student got a hold of those chemicals in the first place?" Belldandy asked as she turned to her older sister. "I dunno. I usually keep good track of the chemicals in my lab. In fact, when I did my inventory last week, nothing seemed to be amiss." "Hey, do you think that maybe this Joat-mon guy might have sneaked out a little bit at a time rather than in larger amounts?" Keiichi suggested. "It's possible." Jun mused. "Then again, he might have had some outside source or they may have been chemicals he swiped before coming to Furinkan high. He's always seemed ready with a prank to pull off..." "Yeah, but according to those jerks on the board, they had videotape showing the punk getting into the cabinet and swiping chemicals while that old pervert was running around this morn- ing." Urd countered glumly. "I'm damn certain that I had that cabinet locked..." "Hmmm...maybe we ought to have a look at that tape." Belldandy said. * * * * * * * * * * Later that night, Kiddy dragged herself into her room. Being at ground zero of the stink bomb, she was easily overcome and had to spend a few hours at the hospital. She surveyed her room in disgust. As usual, it looked like an electronics store after being hit by a typhoon. Her Japanese host parents were usually on her case about it, but gave her a break that night after what happened. "Damn that Joat-mon!" Kiddy spat out as she dug around for one of her video remote controls. "Why couldn't he just settle down and ease up on the pranks before getting people hurt?" Finding the remote for one of her VCRs as well as a monitor remote, she switched both on, rewound the tape for her school surveillance system, and pressed play. The morning's happenings in class unfolded before her. Something caught her attention. As most of the class crowded around the windows to deal with Happosai, Joat-mon remained at the lab table, messing with something. However, that wasn't what piqued her curiosity. Activating a zoom function she jury-rigged into the VCR, she zoomed in on something rather odd. While Joat-mon remained seated, a small vial of sulfur was floating in mid-air, bobbing along from a cabinet up front to where Joat-mon was. "Wait a second...what's going on here?" Kiddy asked absently as she got up. While in the hospital, she caught bits and pieces of the news coverage and she vaguely remembered scenes of Joat-mon carrying the bottle. However, her footage showed him sitting there and the bottle floating towards him. She quickly walked down the hall and to the family room where her host parents were. "Mr. Miyamoto, did you guys record some of the news footage from today?" Mrs. Miyamoto looked up and chided, "Shouldn't you be getting some rest, Kiddy? You'll only make yourself worse if you stay up late and run around like that, child." "I'm afraid we didn't record the news, Kiddy." Mr. Miyamoto added. "It didn't occur to us at the time." "Wait, I just remembered." Mrs. Miyamoto interjected. "I left the VCR recording when I rushed out of the house once the news broke. There might be something..." "Thanks!" Kiddy piped as her host mother popped the tape out of the deck. "I won't stay up much longer, I promise! I just need to find something real quick on the tape." Kiddy took the tape and rushed back down the hall and into her room. Inserting the tape in a second VCR, she turned on its monitor and started searching through that. She got to the point where the news showed their footage from the school's surveil- lance systems. She watched intently as that footage showed Joat-mon getting up, walking over to the cabinet, walking back with the vial, and continuing on. Obviously, her footage did not match up with the footage shown on the news. "Hmmm...let me check something here..." she murmured as she activated the second VCR's homemade zoom function and closely observed Joat-mon on that tape. "Thought so. I'll have to check something out tomorrow, and that'll mean calling in a couple of favors. But not tonight." With that, she shut down her equipment and collapsed onto her bed. * * * * * * * * * * "When you said that you wanted to cash in on that favor I owed you, I didn't think you had this in mind." Nabiki grumbled as she followed Kiddy and Buffy. That morning, Buffy called up her classmates to get them to help her out on "a special project", as she put it. However, that project turned out to be sneaking onto the campus late at night so Buffy can check out something. "Yeah!" Ranma chipped in. "I don't get why I have to be dragged along if Buffy's playing bodyguard here." "Because you owe *me* big time." Nabiki shot back. "Besides, a little extra muscle doesn't hurt. That is, unless you think that Buffy's better at this than you are..." "Hey, nobody beats me at anything involving martial arts!" Ranma spat out, his pride obviously injured by Nabiki's remark. "Oh, really?" Buffy growled, unable to resist a challenge when she heard one. "You know I can backhand you so hard that Akane's uppercuts will seem like being hit by a Nerf ball..." "Ha! You'd have to be able to hit me first!" Ranma egged the alien amazon on. "You know that I can dodge most of your at- tacks, and you only rely on your brute strength anyway..." "Shut up, you guys!" Kiddy hissed as they reached an duct. "You'll give us away if you keep arguing!" "Um, hi Kiddy..." Billie greeted them at the duct. "I got your message and came here to help like you asked..." "Thanks, Billie..." Kiddy replied, blushing in the dim light. "Um, what's with the overcoat?" "Yeah." Ranma added. "Nobody wears an overcoat in the summer- time!" "Uh, well, Kiddy did say that we were going to be sneaking around and all, so I thought I'd wear this like any spy would..." "Oh, geez..." Nabiki muttered, holding her head in disgust. "Well...I think it looks really nice, Billie..." Kiddy said, blushing even more. "Well, gee, this is really sweet, like saccharine, but we really should get this overwith, you know!" Nabiki cut in on the infatu- ated pair. "Right." Kiddy replied, snapping herself out of her haze and opening up the grate. As soon as Kiddy, Billie, and Nabiki crawled in, Ranma and Buffy stood guard to either side. "Man, that Kraftwerk is worse than Gosunkugi..." Ranma observed. "You mean that shrimp who's into voodoo or something like that?" Buffy asked. "Yup. He's got this thing for that tomboy Akane, like most of the guys here." "You wouldn't happen to be getting jealous, would you?" Buffy asked slyly. "Who? Me? No way! I wouldn't be jealous of that uncute girl!" Ranma hurriedly said. "Pity. Would've been interesting if you had been." Buffy mused, then added. "By the way, I wonder if they caught Joat-mon yet? Michiko was asking around about him earlier today." "I dunno." Ranma shrugged. "All I know is that I want to get my hands on the jerk because of that stupid stink bomb of his." "Get in line." Buffy shot back. "Besides, with that stupid cat phobia of yours, what are you going to do? Cower him to death?" "Hey, I think I'm making good progress with Suzie hanging around the dojo." "True. You're not exactly clawing the ceiling anymore. You're just whimpering in the corners now." Buffy teased. The verbal sparring between the two martial artists was cut off when a dull roar rose up in the distance. The two stared off in that direction as it grew louder and louder until the source rounded the corner of the main building. Joat-mon was barely ahead of the student lynch mob chasing after him. He was just inches shy of getting whacked by Kuno and his boken as well as Mariko and one of her infamous metal bats. The rest of the crowd, mostly male and itching for revenge over Urd-sensei being in trouble, was very close behind. "Aaaaaaa!! Buffy! Ranma! Help meeee!" Joat-mon yelled as he ducked behind the two. "Kil'tar, you base villain, you shall not escape the wrath of heaven! I, Kuno Tatewaki, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan high and the captain of the kendo team, shall see to that. Even if the scoundrel Saotome would help you, you shall most assuredly suffer the consequences of your foul deeds!" "What he said!" Mariko chipped in as the crowd roared in agree- ment. Ranma, for his part, could only twitch and gibber as Joat-mon held on tightly to him, triggering his phobia. However, Buffy grabbed Joat-mon by the neck and held the two of them aloft with one arm. "I owe you big time for that little prank of yours yesterday." She growled as she prepared to upper- cut him into the stratosphere. Before anyone could do anything to the alien prankster, a yowl sounded through the air. Everyone in the mob, including Kuno, took a few steps back as Ranma started to go through his mental transformation. Buffy, totally unfamiliar with what was going on, could only say, "What the..." Ranma, now a cat in his mind, turned around to face a stunned Joat-mon and hissed very loudly. Buffy, uncertain about Ranma and who he was hissing at, dropped Joat-mon and backed up against the wall. In less than a second, Ranma was upon Joat-mon with an even louder yowl and became a flurry of hand- and foot-swipes. Joat-mon didn't have a chance as Ranma shredded his clothes, his hide, and his dignity. While this was going on, Nabiki stuck her head out of the duct to see what the commotion was all about. "Looks like Joat-mon triggered Ranma's Cat Fist." she observed. "Huh?" Buffy managed to say. "Wha...what's going on, Nabiki? Why's Ranma acting all weird like that?" "Well, when Ranma's phobia gets to be too much, he turns into a cat in his head and starts to use Cat Fu. Kinda appropriate considering who's getting shredded..." In a minute, it was all over. Ranma crouched on top of an unconscious and nearly naked Joat-mon, licking at his paws. Kuno, shaking off his dumbfoundedness, slowly approached Ranma, boken held nervously at him. "Stay back, Saotome..." Ranma glared at the upperclassman, hissed, and proceeded to shred him as well. * * * * * * * * * * A lone figure ran through the forced gate of Furinkan high. "Now where did they go?" Akane asked no one in particular as she searched for Nabiki and Ranma. When the two of them sneaked out of the house, Akane knew something was up and snuck off after them. As the two met up with Buffy, then Kiddy, she became really suspicious. As she looked all around her, she heard the roar of a crowd on the other side of the main building. Running to find out what was going on, she then heard a familiar yowl cut through the air and the crowd going silent. "Oh, no! Ranma!" she shouted as she ran around the building. She was greeted by the sight of Ranma attacking Kuno using his cat fist. She also saw Joat-mon lying on the ground, a crowd of schoolmates keeping their distance from her fiance, a stunned Buffy standing against the wall, and a bemused Nabiki sticking her head out of a duct. Deciding to cut things short, Akane cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, "Ranma! Over here!" Ranma looked up from his mauling of Kuno at the sound of Akane's voice. Upon seeing her, he cheerfully miyaa'ed and leaped into her open arms. Buffy was amazed at how calm Ranma was in Akane's lap, purring contentedly. "Well, I'll be..." Buffy said quietly from where she was stand- ing. Most of the other students started to wander away since the action was over and Joat-mon was obviously out for the count. "Hey, Buffy, keep watch while we wrap things up inside." Nabiki said to the amazon as she ducked back into the building. Nabiki made her way through the crawlspace to where she thought the others were. However, when she reached where the camera monitoring the lab room was mounted, neither Kiddy nor Billie were to be seen. Looking around, Nabiki heard Billie hiss at her. "Hey, Nabiki, over here!" he whispered from several feet away. Nabiki followed Billie's voice and found the two of them huddled over a large metal case with several video cables snaking out of it. "Here's the main switchbox." Kiddy explained as Nabiki joined them. "All my taps are okay since I made them at each of the cameras, but look at this." Kiddy pointed to one cable that stood out from the rest. What made it distinctive was the fact that it was mounted to the box with a module that looked occultic rather than electric. "That looks really weird. You know what it is?" Nabiki asked. "Nope. Never seen anything like it." Kiddy answered. "I tried cracking it open, but I can't figure out how to get at it. No matter, though." With that, Kiddy got out one of her alien devices, a clamp with several nasty-looking needles and probes along the inside edges of it. After plugging it into her deck, she attached the clamp to the cable itself. There was a quiet hiss as the needles and probes automatically inserted themselves into the cable. "We might be able to run a trace on where this hooks up to on the other end." Kiddy continued as she started tapping away at the keyboard of her deck. Coordinate data flashed by on the holo- graphic screen that floated in mid-air eerily before her. In moments, the data came to a halt, at which Kiddy made a few more keystrokes and the data resolved itself into an address. A couple more taps at the keys and the address was stored in memory. "Got it. We can check out who's address it is when we get back to my place." Kiddy said as she quickly disengaged the clamp and put away her tools. After a moment, she took a digital camera out of her bag and took a picture of the odd-looking device. "Maybe Urd might have an idea of what this is." Kiddy explained as she put the camera back into her bag. A few minutes later, all three crawled back out the duct. They saw Buffy sitting by Akane with an astonished look on her face. Akane, for her part, was stewing, and Ranma was coming to by a tree he most likely was smashed into. "Lemme guess." Nabiki said in a bored manner. "Ranma tried to kiss Akane while he thought he was a cat, right?" "Yeah." Buffy managed. "How'd you know?" "It's happened before." Nabiki simply answered. "Come on. We're heading back to Kiddy's place to see what we can find out about this mess." As Akane and Buffy dragged Ranma to join the other three, the loud whine of Alien Control Force VTOLs started rising in the air as officers arrived to investigate the disturbance at the school. * * * * * * * * * * As Kiddy opened the door to let her friends in, Michiko rose up from where she was sitting in the family room to greet her partner. "How'd it go?" she asked. "Let's say it was very interesting. By the way, how was the meeting?" "Meeting? What meeting?" Nabiki asked. "Some meeting of 'concerned citizens'." Kiddy answered. "While I checked on the surveillance system, Michiko here checked out what was going on at the meeting." "Well, it seemed to be more of an outlet for the parents to let off steam about Urd-sensei and aliens in general." Michiko informed the gang. "The one odd thing about it was that an awful lot of comments were made by this one woman who didn't seem to be from the area. In fact, she looked to be about Urd-sensei's age. Her name was Mishima Sayoko, but I couldn't find out any more than that at the meeting, other than that she has good fashion sense. Maybe if I checked around tomorrow morning, I might be able to find out more." "Hold on, Michiko." Kiddy said. "I might have something here that could tie in to our mystery person." As she led the others to her room, she asked, "By the way, were you the one who tipped the others off as to where Joat-mon was hiding?" "Yes, I was." Michiko confirmed. "I figured that he'd be hiding out at the school. After all, everyone would think that he'd be running far from the scene of the crime, and no one would like to hang around the school for too long." "Well, Ranma finally got to him after Joat-mon triggered his phobia." Nabiki added. "Cat-fu?" Michiko asked. "Yup. He shredded Kuno as well." Nabiki replied. "I wish I could remember these things." Ranma muttered. Akane just hmph'ed. As soon as they got into Kiddy's room and got the desktop comput- er going, Kiddy transferred the address data from her deck to the computer and ran a map program to find out where the address was exactly. Moments later, a map of a portion of Nekomi City popped up on the screen. A small window pointed to where the address was and identified it as the Mishima residence. "Interesting coincidence there." Nabiki mused as she saw this. "Can we find out more?" "But of course." Kiddy said as her hands flew at her keyboard. Within minutes, she tapped into the financial records of the Mishima family, as well as employment and scholastic records. "Another interesting coincidence here." Kiddy said as the scho- lastic records of Sayoko came up on screen. "She's only a student at Nekomi Tech." "Which is where Urd-sensei's sister, Belldandy, attends." Michiko finished. "Urd-sensei herself has ties with the school's motor club." Nabiki scrunched her nose and said, "I don't think our friend, Miss Mishima, is quite the concerned citizen she's pretending to be. Especially since she's not even from this area." "I smell a grudge here." Akane said, also not liking what she was hearing. "Hate to say this, but the tomboy's right." Ranma agreed. Before Akane could whack him for the umpteenth time, he continued, "I don't like how Urd's been trying to match me and Ucchan up lately, but this isn't right at all. There's something we gotta do about this." Akane relented, looking at him strangely for a moment before calming down. "How about we all meet at my family's dojo tomorrow." Nabiki said. "Kasumi has Urd-sensei's number from the last time she was at our place, and we can plan something then." "It better be quick." Michiko added. "There's a board meeting tomorrow night to decide on what happens to Urd-sensei." "By the way," Buffy said as she looked on the floor of Kiddy's room, "anyone have any idea why Billie's passed out here?" "Like I said, he's worse than Gosunkugi. I don't think even Gosunkugi would pass out if he ended up in the tomboy's room" Ranma muttered as Kiddy attended to Billie. He soon joined Billie on the floor as Akane heard that last bit. * * * * * * * * * * "All right, why'd you have to drag us over here for so damn early in the morning?" Urd growled as she sat down in the dojo. She was suffering the effects of a massive hangover. "Urd, they're only trying to help." Belldandy chided as she brought Keiichi through a mirror that was set up in the Tendo dojo. "Besides, it's 10 'o clock." Keiichi, for his part, was reeling from the disorientation from the teleport. Besides Urd, Belldandy, and Keiichi, in the dojo were the three Tendo sisters and their father, Ranma and his father, Skuld, Jun, Kiddy, Michiko, Billie, and Buffy. "Anyway, now that we're all here, we can begin." Kiddy said as she switched on a TV and one of the VCRs she brought. "Here, we have the footage shown on the news services the other day." "Great, just what I need." Urd groused as the footage played. "A reminder of why I'm on suspension." "Well, we *did* determine that it was tampered with." Belldandy consoled her older sister. "We just couldn't determine what was really there." "I could show you." Kiddy said as she shut off the one VCR and started up another one. "Here's what one of my video taps picked up." Belldandy, Urd, Jun, and Keiichi gasped as the real footage showed the bottle floating to Joat-mon rather than being carried by him. Skuld narrowed her eyes though, as if she were recogniz- ing something. "So, someone or something else got those chemicals for that jerk!" Urd exclaimed. "This is quite odd, Saotome." Soun commented. "Yes." Genma agreed. "But it still shows that the cabinets were able to be opened." Belldandy commented. "Yes, but I don't think that they were left unlocked as everyone else believes. Take a look at this." Kiddy said as she rewound the tape and zoomed in on the cabinet door before it was opened. The zoom showed that the cabinet rattled for a minute before opening up. "The lock was being picked!" Keiichi realized. "Yup." Kiddy confirmed. "Looks like I had it locked after all." Urd said, relieved that she wasn't as careless as the media portrayed her as being. "But who'd be behind this?" "Maybe this would help." Michiko said as she handed Urd and her sisters a piece of paper with an address on it. "It's an address, so what?" Urd stated. "Who's address is it, anyway?" Skuld asked. "Why, it's Sayoko's!" Belldandy exclaimed as she recognized it. "I remember from when Keiichi and I went to a Christmas party at her house a few years ago. Remember, Keiichi?" "Yeah. But what does Sayoko have to do with anything?" Keiichi asked. "Two things." Kiddy said. "One is that I did a trace on a weird-looking tap I saw on the main video switchbox. That's how I got her address. By the way, I have a picture of the tap in case you guys know what it is. It's way beyond me." As Kiddy passed the picture to the others, Michiko continued for her partner. "The other thing is that Miss Mishima was very active at a concerned citizens' meeting last night, dragging Urd-sensei's name through the mud to her heart's content. I made a few calls to some friends at Nekomi Tech and they told me that there's some bad blood between her and Belldandy here." However, the three goddesses were still very intent on examining the picture that Kiddy handed them. "A BU22220202033 comline tap." Skuld mused. "Something that shouldn't be on this plane, unless...Kiddy, did you happen to smell a lot of sulfur in the lab before the explosion?" "Well, yeah, but I'd think that'd be normal for a chem lab." Kiddy replied. Skuld ignored the rest of her reply as she became lost in thought. "Ummm...Earth to Skuld? You still with us?" Kiddy asked as she noticed Skuld looking at nothing in particular with her eyebrows furrowed. "Hm? Oh, just trying to think of who'd do this." Skuld hastily replied as her mind snapped back to reality. "Anyway, it looks like we have enough evidence to clear the sensei." Jun said before Skuld could be asked any more questions. "All we have to do is present it at tonight's meeting and every- thing will be okay." Kiddy agreed. "Since it'll be hours before the meeting," Kasumi cut in, "maybe we can take the time to have a good lunch." "I'll help." Belldandy volunteered as she stood up. "I'll help too!" Akane added, causing most of the crowd to cringe in fear due to either personal experience with Akane's cooking, or just from her reputation alone. Before anyone else could reply, Belldandy suggested, "Maybe you can help with setting up the tables and place settings here in the dojo, Akane. I'm sure Kasumi and I could handle things in the kitchen. Maybe Ranma could help you." For a moment, Akane was disappointed that she wasn't allowed to help in the kitchen. Then she looked into Belldandy's face and something about her expression persuaded her to follow her suggestion. In fact, something about Belldandy was quite com- forting to Akane, almost as if Belldandy was a... "Aw, man! I ain't doing no girls' work!" Ranma spat out, spoil- ing the mood. Furious, Akane grabbed a bucket of water and splashed Ranma with it. "Well, why don't you do it as a girl, then!" She punctuated her statement with a swift kick of Ranma into the stratosphere and adding "Jerk!". "Oh, dear." Belldandy sighed. Keiichi, still not used to seeing Jusenkyo curses in action, just sat there gaping, and Soun wailed again over how badly the engagement was going. * * * * * * * * * * "Something wrong, Keiichi?" Keiichi looked around and saw that Belldandy had followed him out of the dojo after he finished his meal. Most of the others were preoccupied with how good the meal was since Belldandy and Kasumi had fixed it. "I dunno. I guess this whole thing about Sayoko's involvement in this whole mess is bothering me." Keiichi replied glumly. Seeing how much the apparent betrayal had bothered her love, Belldandy paused before replying. "I think Marller's influence has something to do with that. We both know how those two have worked together before. I don't think Sayoko would have done something like this on her own." "Marller?" Keiichi nearly yelped. Having been on the receiving end of some of Marller's demonic stunts, he didn't like the notion of her involvement one bit. "How do you know Marller's involved?" "The tap that Kiddy showed us a picture of is one of demonic origin." Belldandy answered quietly. "There's no way anyone from this plane could have access to one, at least not without the assistance of a demon." "Even if it was Marller, this doesn't seem like her style." Urd commented from the doorway. She had seen Belldandy and Keiichi step out of the dojo and was hoping that she'd catch them in something illicit. "No." Skuld added. She had followed Urd and was hoping to break up any improper actions between Keiichi and Belldandy. "I think I know who's responsible for the video work and the stink bomb, though. When I get my hands on Dorllir, she's going to answer for picking on Urd. That's my job, after all!" "Dorllir? That little brat of a demon?!" Urd nearly shouted. Skuld nodded with a nasty look on her face. "Isn't she that friend of yours from when you were toddlers?" Belldandy asked, remembering little Dorllir. "She isn't my friend at all!" Skuld spat out, not caring that there were others inside the dojo. "Why should I be friends with a demon? She's not even a third-rate demon! She can't even compare to me as a debugger!" "Now, now, Skuld." Belldandy chided. "Even Marller was a friend of us when we were children. We're only enemies because our offices demand it. I'm sure that if that weren't the case, we'd all be good friends." After Urd and Skuld both stewed in silence for a few moments, Keiichi spoke up. "So let me get this straight. We now have two demons on the loose?" As all three goddesses nodded, Jun joined them and asked, "What's all this about demons?" As the group looked a Jun, Skuld asked Urd, "You didn't tell your student about demons?" "Um...we haven't gotten that far in her lessons..." Urd tried to explain. "Wait. I know about demons and all that, especially since you three are goddesses. But are you saying that there are two of them gunning for you guys?" "You want to fill your student in on this?" Skuld asked Urd snidely. "I'll do it." Belldandy said. As she did so, everyone was so intent on things that they didn't notice Nabiki standing around the corner, overhearing everything. * * * * * * * * * * After a few minutes of wandering from the auditorium, where the board meeting was scheduled to be, to the gym where it was moved to, Urd and her allies walked in on a full house. While the concerned citizens occupied a section of bleachers to show their displeasure over Urd, a majority of the student body (mostly male) took up every other bleacher and made the gym standing room only in their show of support for their teacher. Urd could only gape at just how popular she was with the student body. "Man, if this whole process were a popularity contest, my job would be secure for life." she commented. "Unfortunately, it's not." Belldandy replied. "We still have to prove that the stink bomb incident wasn't your fault." "Don't worry." Kiddy cut in as she wheeled in her audio/video equipment. "We've got the evidence right here. We'll shut down this Mishima bitch before she knows what happened!" "Speaking of Miss Mishima," Michiko added as she looked over the bleachers, "where is she? I don't see her with the rest of her group." Meanwhile, just outside of the gym, Sayoko was greeting the remaining concerned citizens as they filed in. she thought while maintaining a cheerful front. While she couldn't go in without being recognized, Sayoko could- n't resist taking a peek inside. She saw Urd and her group getting set up. Sayoko took a more scrutinizing look at Michiko, who was helping Kiddy and Billie set up the equipment. Soon enough, the Nerima district school board started to bring the meeting to order. It took a full ten minutes to get the agitated students under control before they could start the hearing. The chairman of the board addressed the relatively quiet crowd. "Thank you for coming, everybody. We didn't expect such a huge interest in tonight's proceedings, so we ask your forgiveness for having to relocate to a more accommodating forum. "As you all know, we are here to determine what will happen with Furinkan's newest teacher, Urd. Concern has been raised due to the recent incident involving one of our alien students and a stink bomb he had put together. Many have accused Urd-sensei of being careless with the chemicals she is in charge of, of using unorthodox methods of teaching, and of not being properly attired for the job at hand. "While her wardrobe is certainly unconventional, and we on the board would like to see her dress more conservatively, we do not find this matter to be a basis for Urd-sensei's dismissal, and thus will be dropped for the time being." After several minutes of cheers from the students and murmuring from the concerned citizens, the chairman continued. "As for her unorthodox teaching methods, we have compared notes with other high schools and found that the students under her tutelage are far ahead of their peers elsewhere. We're still not certain how she came upon the knowledge that she's teaching her students, but we see no reason at all to dismiss her over it. In fact, we see it as a reason to keep her on the Furinkan high faculty." After several more minutes of the students drowning out the citizens' objections, the chairman brought them back under control. "This leaves us with the unfortunate matter of the incident two days ago. While Urd-sensei is not directly respon- sible for what happened, there have been accusations of careless- ness and negligence on her part when it comes to the chemicals stored in the laboratory." "All we know so far is that the student responsible for what happened was caught last night. While we suspect that a group of students took matters into their own hands and attacked Mr. Kil'tar, no one has come forward. However, Kuno Tatewaki is still recovering from that particular incident and we hope to learn more from him about what happened and how many students were involved. "We have also gone over the surveillance tape from that day with the help of experts and have determined that the tape has been tampered with." This drew a collective gasp from the audience. Other than Urd and her close allies, no one had any idea that the tape was not the genuine article. "While this does not clear Mr. Kil'tar since there is plenty of circumstantial evidence to prove his guilt in the matter, it certainly clouds the issue of Urd-sensei's part in all of this." Kiddy stood up at that and said, "Sir? I can be of help in this matter." "And who may you be, child?" "I'm Kiddy Sazan, senior at Furinkan high school, room 3-F." "Ah, yes. I remember now. You were one of Mr. Kil'tar's lab partners, were you not?" "That's right, sir. I was there when it happened. I'm also a member of the school paper and did some investigating of my own in the past two days, with the help of a few friends." "Go on." "Right. As much as I hate to make it public knowledge, I will say up front that I piggy-backed the school's video surveillance system with my own series of video taps." "Is that so?" the chairman asked with an arched eyebrow. "Yes, sir. I know that my actions aren't exactly on the level, but that's beside the point. My taps were at each camera rather than at the main video switchbox, so I have unretouched footage of what happened that morning." "May we see it, Miss Sazan?" "Of course, sir." With that, Kiddy wheeled out the audio/video rig and started to play her tape. The board watched with inter- est as the bottle of sulfur floated to Joat-mon on the screen. "Miss Sazan, have you or your friends determined who or what was responsible for what happened with the bottle." "No, sir, not as of yet. Allow me to rewind the tape a bit and show you something close-up." Kiddy did so and pointed out the jiggling cabinet door. "As you can probably see, the door was most likely locked at the time and whoever or whatever took the bottle had to jimmy the lock." "If this is correct and the footage you have shown us is on the level, then we have no choice but to conclude that Urd-sensei was not irresponsible with the chemicals in her custody." the chair- man stated. Another board member cut in. "Miss Sazan," she said, "do you have any idea who would be responsible for such a deception." "Actually, yes. While I don't know who was responsible for the bottle, I was able to find a rather unusual tap when I investi- gated the video system last night. I have a picture of it here, and you can send someone right now to verify its existence." As they did so, Sayoko paled in her hiding place. "Oh, no. That alien found our tap. Dorllir screwed up again!" she whispered. "While I could not determine the tap's origin," Kiddy continued, "I was able to run a trace on the line and determine where it led. As you can see from this address I'll hand you right now, it belongs to the Mishima family in Nekomi City." Kiddy handed the address data to the board members and said, "I also ran a check on the family and found out that they have a daughter named Sayoko who attends Nekomi Institute of Technology." "So what does Mishima Sayoko have to do with anything?" another board member asked. "I can answer that." Michiko said as she stood up by her friend and partner. "I'm Takaya Michiko, also a senior at Furinkan high, in room 3-F. While Kiddy was checking your video systems, I was at a citizens' meeting last night." As several of those citizens glared at Michiko, she continued, recalling how Sayoko had made many disparaging comments about Urd at the meeting. While the crowd murmured, Sayoko started to make her way to her BMW. Michiko continued, unaware of Sayoko's earlier presence, let alone her departure. She related how she found out more about Sayoko from her friends at NIT and the apparent grudge between Sayoko and Belldandy. "Urd-sensei." the chairman finally turned to the goddess/teacher. "Is this true? Does this whole matter stem from a feud?" "Yup." Urd replied. "That Sayoko bitch has been trying to break up my sister and her boyfriend for a few years now. I didn't think it would come to this, though." "Is Miss Mishima here to answer these allegations?" The chairman asked the crowd. The citizens' section murmured and looked amongst themselves. It became very evident that Sayoko was not among them. A quick look outside turned up no sign of her. "We'll take that as a no, then." the chairman concluded. "We'll take a short recess while the board discusses these new revela- tions. In the twenty minutes that the board took to deliberate in another room, most of the citizens who came to see Urd get fired slipped out, knowing that they had been played like a fiddle. The student body, on the other hand, was buzzing with anticipa- tion over what the board would find regarding their favorite teacher. After the recess, the board filed back into their seats in the gym and motioned Kiddy and Michiko to stand up. "Miss Sazan, Miss Takaya," the chairman addressed them, "while we on the board are not entirely pleased with your methods of finding out what you could about this matter, we do appreciate your efforts and thank you for shedding some light on it. "Urd-sensei. While we're not entirely certain about the circum- stances or everyone that was involved, we certainly know now that you had no culpability in the matter. Thus, we have no other choice than to reinstate you to the position of chemistry teacher at Furinkan high, with back pay for your two days of suspension. We do hope that you take our concerns voiced earlier to heart, though." The chairman turned to the crowd and announced, "And that con- cludes tonight's board meeting. Furinkan high school will remain closed for the remainder of the week while we remove *all* taps from the video system and finish the cleanup from Monday's incident. Exams will still take place next week, so we expect you students to study hard during your time off. With that, this meeting is adjourned." No one could hear the gavel slamming down as the entire crowd broke out in a cheer, clustering around Urd and the others. Even the news about the exams the following week couldn't diminish the student body's glee at the vindication of their newest and most favorite teacher. * * * * * * * * * * "Where is that Dorllir?!?!" Sayoko demanded as she burst into the basement where the two demons had set up shop. Marller nearly flinched in the coffin she used as a bed. She never heard Sayoko use that icy a tone of voice ever since she first mentioned Belldandy around the rich girl. Rising and conjuring up a set of clothes on her, Marller asked, "How'd she screw up this time?" "Oh, she did more than screw up. Her incompetence ended up implicating *me* in your little plot. Some alien ended up doing a trace on your stupid little video tap and it led to my house. She and a friend of hers were also able to dig up some dirt on me and blew the whole operation to hell!" "Damn! I'll bet that little fool didn't use a wireless tap." Marller cursed. "Let me check something." Marller went to Dorllir's computer, turned it on, and started calling up some obscure routines. In a minute, the computer confirmed that the tap had been traced to it. Marller frowned darkly at this, along with Sayoko. Oblivious to what was going on, Dorllir bounded into the basement with glee and yelled, "Sayoko! You're back! So, did Urd get canned?" Marller asked icily, "What kind of tap did you use for our little operation, dear Dorllir?" "Oh, that! I used the BU22220202033, the latest in line taps! It's virtually impenetrable, with built in signal masking algo- rithms to hide its presence on the line. Not only that, but it can use any sort of cable for transmission, like power cables or phone lines. Why? Did it work better than I expected?" "Tell me something, little one," Marller continued, the chill even more evident in her voice, "was this tap of yours capable of wireless operation?" "Well, no, but that would've weakened the masking algorithms with the signals it would have put out..." "Did you even consider for a moment that maybe we didn't want the tap traced back to us??" Marller demanded, her voice rising with her temper. "Traced? That's impossible! The tap was impenetrable!" Dorllir tried to explain, tears in her eyes. "Maybe the stupid cable wasn't, you ditz! Did you even bother to check that possibility??? Thanks to your stupid insistence on using a tap like that, the whole operation is a failure!!" Marller yelled at Dorllir. Sayoko, no longer able to contain her anger as well, yelled, "You two can take your argument outside! As a matter of fact, you can take your computers, your doodads, your stinking coffins, and whatever else is yours out of my basement and out of my life! Our partnership is through, and both of you can thank your incompetence for that! I want both of you out! Now!" "But, Sayoko, what about getting rid of Belldandy and Urd?" Marller asked quaveringly. "Out, I said!" Seeing the fire in Sayoko's eyes, Marller and Dorllir complied and conjured away their effects. The two demons then trudged sheepishly up the basement stairs and out Sayoko's door without a word to each other or to Sayoko. As soon as the two were out of the house, Sayoko walked slowly to her own room. Shutting her door, she sat on her bed weakly. The anger had subsided with the demons' departure and all that was left was an exhausted and depressed young woman. "Damn." she muttered to herself. "I'm going to have to clean up this mess that those two made, especially if the school board decides to go after me for altering that video. Even worse, how the hell am I going to be able to win Keiichi from Belldandy since he knows my involvement now?" She couldn't come up with an answer as she had finally collapsed in tears on her bed. * * * * * * * * * * "Get away from me, you little screw-up!" "But, but, Marller, I'm supposed to be assisting you in getting rid of those goddesses!" Marller rounded on Dorllir and yelled, "Some assistance you've been! You ruined my jealousy beast operation! You misapplied one of my hate potions! You screwed up my chance to hurt that wimp, Morisato! And now you blow our chance to get rid of Urd! With helpers like you, who needs enemies?? Just stay away from me or else I'll zap you into the lowest depths of hell, and I don't think you-know-who will stop me, considering your incompe- tence!" With that, Marller spun on her heel and teleported away, leaving the little demoness alone. All Dorllir could do is sit on the curb and cry silently. "But, but, how could I let you hurt poor Keiichi? He didn't deserve what you wanted to do to him. Now what am I gonna do?" Dorllir didn't notice the shadow falling over her as someone walked up to her. She only looked up when he addressed her. "Excuse me, but can you tell me how I can find Furinkan high school or the Tendo dojo?" Dorllir's expression went from one of depression to one of incredulity. She remembered this guy from two months back, when she was supposed to be spying at the temple. Stupefied, she answered, "Um, they're not around here at all. You're in Nekomi City, and you're looking for Tokyo." "I see. Thanks for your help." he responded, a disappointed tone evident in his voice. "Wait up! You're going the wrong way again! Here, why don't I take you there?" Dorllir offered. Realizing that she had nothing to do now that both Sayoko and Marller had turned their backs on her, Dorllir decided to be helpful to this guy. He wasn't like Keiichi, but he also had a good heart from what she could tell. "Don't you have a home to go to?" the stranger asked. "Not anymore." Dorllir answered, some of the depression creeping back into her voice. "You're a wandering soul, like myself, then? If you could help me, I would greatly appreciate it." As Dorllir jogged up to join her new friend, she asked, "What's your name, anyway?" "I'm Hibiki Ryoga. What's yours, little girl?" "I'm Dorllir! Pleased to meet'cha!" Next Episode: Beach Blanket Amazons Thought the traditional Tendo-Saotome trip to the beach was chaotic enough? There may not be a beach left when they take along Buffy and Suzie, as well as meeting up with the temple household. However, Buffy isn't the only problem...her older sister (working as a lifeguard for the summer) is. Nami comes with a itchy trigger-finger and a nasty case of sibling rivalry. Not only that, but Shampoo decides to hash out her differences with Furinkan's alien amazon! Will a typhoon be less damaging? Find out in the next Aa! Megami-sensei! Author's Notes - Whew! Made it halfway through the planned run of this first series of Aa! Megami-sensei!. Hard to believe this fanfic series (my first one) lasted this long. Thirteen more episodes to go! My heartfelt thanks to all those who have given me feedback on this series, especially to Brett Handy and Chang Wei Lik. All Aa! Megamisama and Ranma 1/2 characters copyright Fujishima Kosuke and Takahashi Rumiko, respectively. Dorllir appears courtesy of Ryan Matthews and Larry Mann. All other characters copyright Peter Ward, Tim Dunn, Tim Holt, "Snafu", and Ray Yeen. E-mail all comments, suggestions, etc. to falcon@best.com. They're always welcome...even the flames to a certain extent ^^;