Here's an edit of Chapter 1:
Chapter 1
Yokobue
On a dark night, a dark man, waits for a dark purpose.
In the middle of the desert, on top of a dune, a dark figure sits
on a black horse in the moonlight. Soon another hourse rides up and his
rider dismounts.
The figure wears a dark green monk's cloak. He is small, gnarled
and has an insidious wide grin.
The figure on the hourse speaks, " Did you bring it?"
"HEHEHEHE! Hoodwink steal sparkly! HEHE!"
Hoodwink hold out a gold object.
The figure grabs for it, but Hoodwink pulls it away.
"AH!AH! AH! You promise Hoodwink many sparlkies!"
Squauk!
A parot swoops down and snatches the gold object from
Hoodwink's hand.
"Hey! Give back to Hoodwink!"
"Patience, my psychotic friend, you'll get what's comming to
you...", said the dark figure.
The parot drops the object into the figure's hand and returns to
its perch on the figure's shoulder.
"Squauk! Get what's comming to you!", the parot reiterated.
The figure takes the object in his hand and then takes another
object out and brings them together. There is a flash of light.
I the flash we see that the gold object was a half scarab. Now
combined, the figure now has a whole scarab. It glows before him. In
the light, Hoodwink sees the figure's face for the first time. It is old
and green. His features are demonic and pointed. His parot, to the
contrast, is bright red and plump.
The scarab suddenly shoots off to the west.
"After it!", the figure yells.
The figure dart off on his hourse, in a moment, Hoodwink is
right behind him.
Atfer a few kilometers, the scarab stops, splits in two again,
and each half burrows into the ground.
The figure and Hoodwink stop.
Light emits from the ground in two places.
"Now what?", Hoodwink said.
His question was soon answered. A great rumble shook the earth,
and the sand began to form around the two beams of light.
"Who dares?!", a voice from the sand bellowed, " Who dare's
desterb the slumber of Shen-Ryu, the gardian of the Cave of Wonders?!?!".
The sand had formed a dragons head, with gold light not only
pouring out of its eyes, but its mouth as well.
"Well." the figure said to Hoodwink.
"Well what?", was the reply.
"Go in there and get me the lamp!", the figure ordered.
"In there?", was Hoodwink's reply, as he indicated the dragon's
mouth.
"You're not scared are you?"
"Squauk! Scared!"
"Hoodwink is beyond scared! Hoodwink is somewhere between
bedwetting and a near-death experience!"
The figure paused.
"There are 'sparklies' in there, remmember?"
This got Hoodwink's attention. He would run naked through hell
for a shiney object... in about 1 minute.
Hoodwink got off his hourse and slowly approached the dragon's
mouth.
While he creeped up, the parot commented under his breath to the
figure, "Hey Yokobue, where'd you pick this chump up?".
"Hush, Nageku!" was his response.
Hoodwink reached the dragon's mouth.
"WHO DARES ENTER?!!?", Shen-Ryu bellowed.
"Hoodwink, the theif.", Hoodwink replied, humbly.
"HERE THIS! ONLY ONE MAY ENTER HERE, THE ONE WHOSE WORTH LIES
FAR WITHIN! THE 'DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH'!". After saying thus, Shen Ryu
opened his mouth. It formed onto an entrance and downward stare, leading
into the bowels of the earth.
Hoodwink looks back at Yokobue.
"Sparklies, remember!"
Hoodwink mustered all his courage. He took one step into the
cave.
The earth shook. Shen Ryu bit down. And Hoodwink was never herd
from again.
In just a moment, Shen Ryu was reduced to a pile of ordinary sand
and the two scaarab halves lay on the ground, motionless.
"Argh! I don't believe it! I just don't believe it! We are
NEVER gonna get our hands on that stupid lamp!", Iago flew down to
retrieve the halves.
"Patience, Nageku! Hoodwink was obviosly less than worthy.",
stated Yokobue, calmly.
"Oh! What a surprise! I can't believe it! I may just have a
heart attack and die from that big surprise!", Nageku dropped the scarab
hands back in Yokobue's hand.
"So what do we do now?", Nageku said.
"Now, we must find this one...the "diamond in the rough"...
Atila
Agrabah.
City of mystery, enchantment, and the finest merchandise this
side of the river John. This merchant city is particularly attractive to
thieves, or at least it was.
The city of Agrabah was ruled by a kind Sultan, but the law
enforcement was completely the work of the RED SASH group. It was lead
by Doctor Deadston, and his cabinet of military officials who all seemed
to be named after colors for some reason. Doctor Deadston was a
darkskinned man with a talent for sorcery.
It is said that good help is hard to find. Doctor Deadston took
this saying to heart and decided to make his own. Doctor Deadston had a
talent for bringing to life golems of incredible strength and power. He
would use these to patrol the streets and maintain order. They were all
humanoid and made of stone, but that's where the similarities end. They
were all different colors, sizes, shapes, makes models... The earlier
ones were mindless drones when it came to personality, but around number
15, they developed more human intellegence.
Practice makes perfect.
While he was creative in the actual golems, he never could think
up names, so each was given a number.
At this point in the story, there have been 27 golems (not 27
walking the streets now, occasionaly a band of brigands would gang up on
one and destroy it).
Of the twenty one patroling Agrabah at the time, one seventh were
after one theif...
"Atila!", number 25 shouted.
"Atila, get back here! I know you stole that bread! I'll rip
off your hands with ... my bare hands!!"
It was no use. The crouded market place was filled to the hustle
and bustle of hundred of people, and none of them were responding.
Number 25 was an advanced model. Unlike number 1 and number 2
who were occumpaning him. Number 25 was gray figure, about six feet
tall. His forarms, upper arms, thighs, forlegs, and feet were all solid
pieces of rock. His joints and torso were compiled of spheres, each a
few centimeters in diameter. They were held to gether by some strange
magic force. His hands were complete with five fingers. His head was a
solid skull-shaped rock with the face painted solid black. He had two
glowing white eyes. No ears. No nose. No mouth either, but he could
smell, hear and talk.
Number one and Number two were simple. Slow. Dumb. But then
again, they were twelve feet tall and 3000 pounds, so no one messed with
them! They were constructed on simple sandstone adn had rigid joints,
like and action figure.
The three passed down the street, scanning for Atila.
A heavily clothed figure walked to a clique of scantily clad
women (there noses were exposed fore the world to see!).
"Getting into trouble a little early today, aren't we Atila?"
one woman commented to the figure.
"Ha! You're only in trouble if you get caught!", Atila said.
At this point, a giant sandstone hand grabed Atila by the neck
and lifted him five feet into the air.
"I'm in trouble!"
"Number one has appehended target. Will commence with penalty."
And, k'now, he would have done it too, it a little monkey hadn't
leap onto his head and covered it with a pot.
"ERROR! Visual failed. Who turned out the light? ERROR!"
"Perfect timing as usual, Kiki-chan!", thanked Atila.
"Kiki!", Kiki-chan squaked triumphantly.
Atila struggled free. He dropped the cloak, but held onto the
loaf of bread. Seeing him in his only outfit, Atila wore ragged pants
held up by a ragged sash, a red fez, and a blue vest held together in the
front by two yellow bars. He had poofy black hair, and was barefoot.
"Don't let him escape, you idiot!", shouted Number 25 as he
pushed trought the crowd with Number 2.
However, Atila's thoughts were not on escaping. Atila pulled
back his free hand and layed a heavy uppercut to Number one's crotch (he
was 12 feet tall remmember?).
The stone cracked. Slightly.
"Fool! Did you think you could destroy Number one by
yourself?!", said Number 25. At the sign of a battle, the crowd backed
off. Now Atila stood in a clearing with the three guards.
Atila looked at his hand holding the bread. "Your right, Rocky,
not with one hand tied behind my back...".
"Don't call me Rocky!", Number 25 belowed.
"ERROR! ERROR! ERROR!", Number one reiterated.
Atila hunched over and seemed to strain every muscle in his
body.
RIP!
...
See 2