Nightelf wrote:

Hmmm.

I had a real problem with the "one-night stand" between Ranma and Ukyou.
I have a difficult time accepting all the little coincidences - both of
them being too out of it to realize who they're doing it with, Ranma
getting kicked out of the house, only to end up at Ucchan's rather than
elsewhere, etc.  Problem is, since this act sets the stage for the rest
of the story, it tends to put a taint on the rest of the work.

Er... You do realize that nothing happened, don't you?  They didn't have
sex - Ranma was just so hard up (so to speak) that he had a dream about
having sex with Akane, and when he woke up next to Ukyo, he thought he'd
done it with her.

One other thing I noticed: the language seems just a little bit less
poetic than your usual work, indicating that perhaps this was rushed to
completion.

:)  Well, this particular fanfic went through many, many different
revisions, so it is possible I lost my overall focus somewhere along the
way.  I do think it tends to ramble a bit in places.

Nicholas Leifker, aka "Nightelf"
nwl9354@tam2000.tamu.edu

Thanks for the comments, Nightelf.  ^_^

-Richard

sterman@sprynet.com
http://home.sprynet.com/sprynet/sterman