Sorry about that mistake last time. My fault. I offer no excuse
other than the fact that I was waaay too distracted by what was
happening elsewhere. Anyway, here's part 3. Part 5 might take a little
longer than I expected because my computer's breaking down again. I'm
starting to think I'm cursed... Anyway, feel free to read (and hopefully
enjoy)this. I'd really appreciate any C&C that gets sent and rest
assured I really appreciate all comments which are sent in. Please send
any C&C and nasty or encouraging comments to <ebon@globalcafe.com.ph>,
we don't want to spam the list anymore than necessary, yes?
That's 1/2 My Goddess. Part 3/9
(Sore wa Nibonuichi Megamisama)
PART III: Of Devoted Worshipers and Unexpected Jealousies
It was the end of the semestral break. Now that the
repairs to the school buildings were complete (some of which
were severely damaged when the Chemistry Lab had blown up under
mysterious circumstances one evening) classes would resume this
Monday. Ranma was not particularly looking forward to going back to the
academic grind, but he didn't have much of a choice. If he wanted to
keep his athletic scholarship, he had to keep his grades above a
certain level as well. On the upshot, at least he would be getting out
of Ucchan's, even if only during the day. Much as Ranma didn't want to
admit it to Ukyou, he was starting to get sick of okonomiyaki...
Since he, Akane and Ranko had moved in, the place had
become a madhouse. Akane shared Ukyou's guest room with Ranko while
Ranma had gotten the back room of the restaurant. They helped out around
Ucchan's whenever necessary and Ukyou's business had actually
improved because of the handsome new waiter (Ranma) and cute new
waitresses (Akane and Ranko).
Add to that Ranko picking on Akane and Ranma, Akane's
tendency to violently retaliate with her hammer, Ukyou and Akane
getting mildly jealous over what each thought the other had with
Ranma (this was especially bad for Akane who was known to cause
thunderstorms when in an particularly foul mood), Ranko slinking
around the restaurant, flirting with anything that moves, and every so
often transforming Ranma, plus everyone occasionally walking in on
Ranma in the bath and him getting beaten up for it... it all came down
to a rather complicated domestic situation. And they'd only been
staying there for less than three weeks, and thus far, Ranma had been
entirely able to avoid letting on about his 'problem' to Ukyou...
despite Ranko's almost daily attempts to transform him...
Ranma hadn't given up on finding a place just for him
and the goddesses. Despite Ukyou's good cheer and protestations to
the contrary, Ranma could see that her patience with the other two
was starting to wear thin. Ranma didn't want to impose on her too much.
She was still pretty much the same girl he'd been
friends with back in Furinkan High School, in Tokyo.
Unfortunately, they'd lost touch with one another after they went to
college. The last he'd heard Ukyou was going to marry her boyfriend,
some guy she'd met in Kyoto. She didn't want to talk about it and
Ranma certainly wasn't about to pry.
Ranma stepped out of the tub and shook out of his
reverie just in time to hear someone trying to open the door. For
some strange reason, the locks on the doors of the bath tended to
open by themselves whenever Ranma inside. They suspected Ranko, but
there was never any evidence left. He called out, "Nearly done!
Please, wait outside!"
"Oh. Sorry, Ranma!" called back a voice which he
recognized as Akane's. Ranma had learned to be more alert since he'd
started living with the goddesses. Between Akane's temper and Ranko's
harassment, every day was a new opportunity for training.
Ranma stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed and
saw Akane sitting on the landing. He called, "Hi, Akane. Your turn."
She stood up, smiling, "Thank you, Ranma. Do you
have classes today?"
Ranma nodded, "Only until one. Then I'll be out looking
for another apartment-"
From upstairs, Ukyou stepped out of her apartment and
walked to the bath. "Ranchan, how many times do I have to tell you
that you're always welcome to stay for as long as you like! That goes
for your girlfriend as well," Ukyou said smiling at Akane.
Akane blushed mildly at that. She was starting to get
used to being called that... but somehow it still didn't quite feel
right when Ukyou said it for some reason. Well... it was easier for her
to be called that than his fiance...
Ranma neither confirmed nor denied their status, but he
did put a discreet hand on her shoulder as he said, "But not for her
cousin, huh?"
"I heard that, Saotome!!" came a sleepy voice from
the apartment, "You'll pay!"
Ukyou noted the gesture with amusement. Ranma always
stayed close to Akane. Especially when it seemed likely that Ranko would
get mad at him for some reason. But besides that, Ranma tended to be
close to Akane whenever possible. Every so often he would put a hand on
her shoulder or brush against her. As far as Ukyou knew, Ranma never
was one for intimacy... his father (an old imbecile in her opinion)
raised Ranma up to be a rugged, macho, he-man... complete with all the
appropriate problems at open displays of affection. But when he was with
Akane, Ukyou noticed, with just a little jealousy... he always had time
to be.... well... close to her.
Akane knew why. She threw Ranma a sour look of amusement.
He was mostly worried that Ranko would try to turn him into a woman.
Again. Just like Ranko tried almost every single day since they moved
in. Akane knew that Ranma occasionally fell into depressions just
thinking about what would happen if Ranko transformed him and
Akane weren't there. He would never become a man again... Truth to
tell, the longest he'd had to spend as a woman so far was under an
hour., but the possibility of it becoming permanent was rather
unsettling for him.
Aside from that, it was tough enough being transformed
into another gender by a woman's touch, but trying to keep it secret
from someone who used to be your best friend who was living under the
same roof at the same time...
"Whatever," said Ranma with a shrug, "I'm going
apartment hunting anyway, Ucchan. I don't want to impose on you so
much."
"That's my Ranchan alright," Ukyou said with a smile. Akane
felt a stab of jealousy. Ukyou's pet name for Ranma always grated
on her. It was an indication of the history they'd shared. Something,
Akane didn't have...
Ukyou noticed Akane starting to space out and asked,
"Akane, mind if I join you?"
Akane was jolted out of her musings but nodded, "Sure."
Ranma said, "Okay, I'll just clean up down stairs...
I've got to get out of here by eight or I'll never get to class in
time."
After Ukyou had entered Akane turned to Ranma and
said, "Ranma... would you let me come with you?"
"Hmm..?" said Ranma as he turned to Akane, "Why?"
"I don't know... I just want to see what you actually do
in school... Besides, the last time I left Ucchan's was days ago."
"Well... I don't see why not. You aren't working a
shift today, anyway, right?"
"No, she's not!" called out Ukyou from the bath.
"Okay, then. I'll wait for you," he said smiling.
"And no peeking, Ranma!" Akane added from behind the
door. It was a joke. In the short time that she'd known him, she'd
learned quite a bit about him. Ranma was actually quite shy around
women except around those he was comfortable with or with women who so
infuriated him that he didn't think clearly anymore. Ukyou was the
former, Ranko was the latter, and Akane could slip into either category
depending on her temper at the time.
Akane stripped down and entered the bath with Ukyou.
They weren't quite close, but they were already on their way to
becoming good friends. The fact that Ranma liked the other was
already a good indicator in the other one's eyes.
They had small talk as they bathed, about how the
business was doing, what the weather was like and whether or not
Akane could borrow some of Ukyou's clothes for the day... She didn't
have anything truly feminine, but Akane didn't mind.
"He really likes you." said Ukyou suddenly.
"Huh? Um... what do you mean?" asked Akane
feigning ignorance.
"C'mon... neither of you say much about it, but I can
see it. He always wants to be near you... he always apologizes after
he's rude to you (he doesn't even do that to me)... he hides like crazy
when his groupies come calling... He's trying his best to keep you
happy."
Akane furrowed as she considered Ranma's actions. She
didn't like admitting her thoughts out loud. She worried if that was
really why he stayed with her, "No, he just has to keep me happy
because of Ranko."
"Ranko? Why?" asked Ukyou, "What does she have to do
with anything?"
"You see, Ranma needs me to--" she stopped herself
suddenly as she realized that Ranma had sworn her to secrecy regarding
his transformations, "Er... ah, that is..."
"Now that you mentioned it... You guys never did tell me
why Ranko was with you. One time, Ranko told me that you and Ranchan
had run off together because he couldn't live without you, but
that doesn't explain her and--"
"That's a lie!" Akane interrupted suddenly, "Um... I
mean, let's just say I had my Father's blessing... but Ranko was part
of the deal..."
"Complicated situation, huh?"
"You don't know the half of it, Ukyou."
Ukyou smiled, "Regardless... I know you're good for my
Ranchan. Take good care of him Akane," Ukyou added hugging her.
"Thanks," said Akane, genuinely touched.
"What a lovely scene. I think I may weep openly," said
Ranko with overblown drama, from the door. Complete with dabbing at the
corners of her eyes with a hanky, she continued, "Is there
something Ranma should know Akane? Maybe, Ukyou is more masculine than
she cares to admit..."
Akane shot her a dangerous look, "What are you doing
here, harridan?"
"I wanted a bath too, tomboy."
"So take a bath already! I was just leaving!"
without another word, Akane grabbed her clothes and towel and stormed
off to change.
As Ranko slipped into the water, Ukyou who had watched
the exchange, asked, "Why are you so mean to her?"
Ranko frowned at Ukyou and answered sharply, "It's her
fault I'm stuck here. Her and Saotome's. And if she weren't too busy
making googly eyes at him, we'd probably have left already."
"All three of you?" Ukyou said, with a touch of sorrow.
"No. Just me and her..."
Ukyou felt an spark of hope... Akane might still
leave Ranma. She quickly squelched that thought, though. But she was
still curious.
"What precisely do you have to do?"
Ranko felt Ukyou's emotions as well, she was after all
the goddess of affection, but she'd never been paying attention to
Ukyou before. The cross dresser of all people. The only woman Ranko had
met so far who was even more masculine than her tomboy cousin! Ukyou was
in love with Ranma... It was a desperate kind of love people on
the rebound usually display. But powerful... She was too in love with
him to try anything, though, because he already looked happy with
Akane... Ranko's mouth quirked. She could certainly fix that... just a
dab of the right spell...
"Nothing important," said Ranko dismissively, "By the
way, where is Akane going in such a hurry?"
Ranma's van had certainly seen better days. It was old,
but reliable. It took about an half an hour to get to the campus,
because of the traffic, but they made it with time to spare. Which
was good. Because a large crowd of women was waiting for the van at
the parking lot.
"Okay, Akane. Here we are," said Ranma as he opened
his door. Akane got out ahead of him and noticed the crowd
approaching. Loud babbling erupted from the throng as soon as they
saw Akane.
"Is it usually so crowded?" she asked, worried.
"No..." said Ranma cautiously. He stayed in the van
and peered out cautiously. He recognized some of the faces in the
crowd. It was his fan club. He should have expected this.
"Oh boy," he said as he surveyed the mob which was
rapidly closing in. They did not look happy at all. "They're all
out there."
Akane walked over to Ranma's side and looked at him
through the vehicle's doorway, "Well? What do we do about them?"
"We can try to make a break for it I guess--" he
said dubiously.
"Hey, Saotome!" came a voice from dashboard. Ranma and
Akane looked down and saw mini-Ranko balancing on his steering wheel,
"Ever wondered what it would be like to go to school as a girl?"
"Wha--" Ranma blurted out, as Ranko jumped from the
steering wheel and onto his head. She promptly disappeared again in a
puff of smoke. Ranma realized belatedly that Ranko had gotten him
again.
"Aw jeez! Why did she have to do that now!?" Ranma
said, surveying her body.
"Nobody's close enough to see you yet, here," Akane
said offering her hand.
"Thanks," Ranma said, taking her hand as he exited the
van. He was back to normal before anyone else could notice. There was a
collective gasp as the mob saw Ranma exiting his van, being helped
out by some girl.
The horde rushed in immediately, preventing escape.
A confused babble of sounds assaulted the two as everyone tried to ask
questions simultaneously.
Snatches of coherent words could be heard though,
"Ranma-sama, say it isn't so!", "Is it true?", "You can't do this to me,
Ranma, I've been saving myself for you!", "Ranma! Why her?!"
Akane growled low in the back of her throat. This was
too much. She'd had enough. From the cloudless sky, a thunderclap
roared through the parking lot, its sound blasting the crowd of women
to silence.
"That's enough!" said Akane, "One at a time!"
One of the girls, a redhead with a waist length braid,
in a red dress, pressed closer immediately and said, "We heard from
Ryoga-sempai and Mousse-sempai that you got kicked out of the dorm
because you were caught sneaking women in there."
Ranma had somehow managed to get behind Akane and seemed
to be using her as a shield, "I didn't sneak them in!" he said.
"It's true then! There were women there?" asked the
same girl.
"I didn't say that!!" said Ranma desperately.
"We also heard that you were living with three
beautiful women now!" said a girl in a blue dress which complimented her
long, straight, blue hair.
"Where'd you hear that?" asked Ranma, who had been more
or less hiding from everyone since he was kicked out. Nobody knew
where he was staying.
"A redhead woman with a braid..." shyly replied a
brunette wearing glasses and a green dress. The other women quickly
nodded in agreement.
Akane muttered under her breath, "Ranko."
"Yes, that was her name, I think." interjected a woman
with long ginger locks tied into a ponytail, that reached the back of
her knees, "The same girl told me that you told this other girl you
wanted her to stay with you for the rest of your life!" There were more
nods and murmurs of agreement.
Akane's reserves of patience, not too long to begin with
had given out, "What business is it of yours anyway!?"
The crowd broke into general babbling again as various
cries to the effect of "Is it her?", "Is she the one your heart has
chosen?", "Why not me?!" and various permutations thereof were
echoed.
Ranma was still in shock. His fans never used to be
this aggressive or self-assertive.
Another thunderclap blasted them back to silence. Akane
was really angry now. She took Ranma by the arm and said, "I'm only
saying this once! I am Akane Tendo and Ranma is my..." she
hesitated, but anger overruled any embarrassment, "Boyfriend!"
"Anybody who has a problem with that, deals with me!" She put
her other hand to her hammer, which she still wore all the time, as
though just asking for an excuse to use it. A few of the women stepped
back. A number of them shrugged. They'd been claiming that Ranma was
their boyfriend for months now, so who was this newcomer?
"Why not let Ranma answer us, then?" asked a
reasonable sounding woman in a black dress.
All eyes turned to Ranma. Not just the mob, but quite
a number of people who were merely passing by. He was suddenly the
center of attention. "Um..." he began.
"Well?" asked Akane glaring at him. She'd put her pride
on the line here. If he backed down, she intended to wallop him six
feet into the concrete.
"She's... uh... not exactly... that is to say..."
"She isn't your girlfriend?" asked everyone simultaneously.
Akane's face flushed red with rage and embarrassment.
Her grip tightened on her hammer. That stupid idiot..!
"... I think... um... maybe... fiance might actually
be more accurate," finished Ranma quickly, now also blushing.
Everyone was shocked into silence. The quiet was
eventually broken by a few broken sobs as most of the women drifted
off. Most crying, a rare few, their faces bitter. Ranma and Akane
watched them leave and heaved a sigh of relief. Only the woman in the
black dress took the news impassively. She had a faint smile on her
face as idly played with a single black rose.
"What?" asked Akane, not ready to put down her hammer.
"I just wanted to congratulate the lucky woman who
managed to land the infamous Ranma Saotome." said the girl in the
black dress, pleasantly, "Akane Tendo, wasn't it?"
"Yes." Akane said bowing slightly.
"Pleased to meet you, I am Kodachi Kuno. Sometimes
called the Black Rose," she turned to Ranma, "I'm going to miss the
antics of those women trying to attract your attention, Ranma. It
was..." she paused slightly, "Quite amusing. I hope you two have a
lovely life together," she gave Ranma a quick peck on the cheek before
anyone could react, "Good bye."
She slipped away before either could say another word.
"Who was that?" asked Akane, confused by Kodachi's speech.
"She's the Captain of the Female Division Combat
Athletics Team," said Ranma nervously, "She's usually rather
volatile... I've never seen her that calm before," Ranma
shivered involuntarily at the memory.
Akane turned to Ranma and asked tentatively, "Did you
really mean that? I mean about us being engaged? Was that a formal
proposal?"
Ranma, still a bit of a nervous wreck, "NO!" then in
a calmer voice, "No. Of course not. I had to tell them something to make
them go away. Just telling them you were my girlfriend wouldn't
have been enough. Besides... that's what's on our contract, right?"
"Hmph," said Akane, hurt, "Oh. Well, in that case I'm glad
I was of some help then," her words were laced with sarcasm.
"Akane, I didn't mean that like it sounded..."
"What do you think it sounded like, huh?" Akane sniffed at
him.
"Like I didn't like you... because its... um... You know.
Sort of... like... um... "
Akane's expression softened a little. He was so cute
when she had him flustered. She gave him a little tap on the back of
the head with her smaller hammer.
"Come on, you pervert... you're going to be late for
class," she said with a smile.
He smiled back as they went into the building.
From inside the van, mini-Ranko watched them. Maybe
they thought they'd gotten away, she mused, not a chance of that. The
Black Rose woman had quite a bit of useful jealousy in her
heart...
As Ranma walked the hallway with Akane, a few more
people and some friends came up to him asking for confirmation of the
rumors. Mostly he just nodded and smiled and introduced them to Akane.
Some reactions were a little different though. The school lecher clung
to Ranma desperately and begged him to say that it wasn't so, that his
idol hadn't fallen, and so forth. Every so often he made an attempt
to fondle Akane, which earned him quite a few bumps and no
satisfaction at all. It took a while, but Ranma and Akane
eventually managed to get rid of him when his green haired
girlfriend flew by and dragged him off, delivering electric shocks to
him every few steps.
"Darling, you're making a spectacle of yourself again!"
she told him as she pulled the battered lecher along the corridors.
His yelps of pain fading in the distance.
"There sure are a large number of weirdoes in this school."
"That's the funny part, Akane. I don't remember them
acting so... extreme before the sem break."
"Are you saying? That it's my fault?" Akane asked,
offended.
"Well... not necessarily yours, Akane-chan."
"Yes," she conceded, "If that incident back in the
parking lot is any indication at all, Ranko is really looking to stir
up some trouble. We'd better be alert."
"Nihao, Saotome-sempai," called out a voice behind them
with a bad Chinese accent. Ranma and Akane turned to see a timid young
girl in a conservative dress. She wore glasses and her purple hair
was done up in a severe braid. She said in a sympathetic voice,
"Shampoo heard news from Mousse-sempai. So sorry you kick out of dorm."
"It's okay, Shampoo. I'm doing alright. This is Akane,
by the way. Akane, this is Shampoo she's an exchange student from
China and one of my friends..."
The girls exchanged bows. Shampoo peered at Akane for a
few moments then said excitedly, "Oh! Shampoo, remember now! You the
one they talking about in parking lot. They talk about mark on face
and big hammer! Ranma fiance! Yes? Yes?" she punctuated her sentence
with nods.
Akane smiled at her enthusiasm and nodded too. Ranma
looked around rather embarrassed as people who hadn't heard about it
picked up the rumor and spread it along.
"Shampoo have to go now, Sempai, Akane. Shampoo have to
meet Mousse-sempai. He tutoring Shampoo to speak language betterer!"
she seemed to get particularly giggly and excited at the thought. She
happily waved goodbye as she dashed off.
"Lively, isn't she?" Akane asked as Shampoo left.
"You could say that," Ranma conceded with amusement.
"Why is she named after a hair care product?" asked Akane.
"Well, it's customary in their village or something. I
don't think it means the same thing in Chinese. It's the way you
pronounce it... I think they say it Xian Pu or something like that.
Mousse is from the same village. Joketsu-something or the other..."
As the pair neared the door to the class room, they were
met by a man in an elegantly tailored three piece suit. He had
a shock of short curled black hair and was wearing a pair of
expensive horn rimmed glasses. He approached them and said, "Truly, it
is said that even the most wretched of dogs has his day, Saotome."
Ranma pulled a sour face as he saw who it was, "Hey, Kuno."
"Is this then the fair lady who has ventured to
transform the lecherous Ranma Saotome, into a model of virtue?"
Kuno continued, facing Akane, "You make a noble sacrifice for the
members of the fairer sex, dear lady. For it will be through your
efforts do you rid them of their unhealthy fascination with him."
Akane's face betrayed confusion as Kuno proceeded with
his speech, lambasting Ranma and proclaiming Akane's virtue and
nobility and that she should have courage and perseverance for the
arduous task of keeping Ranma in line.
"Kuno, I've got a class to get to. Is there a point
to this?" Ranma interrupted, unable to stand any more.
"Verily, Saotome, you are the most ill-mannered of curs.
You wish my purpose then for stopping you in these halls, I shall
give it to you. I merely wished for a chance to meet the saint who
has managed to capture the most notorious playboy in Nekomi City and to
congratulate you both."
"Um... Thank you," said Akane not sure what else to say.
Ranma smiled as well. Kuno could be an overblown jerk
most of time and he was another of Ranma's major rivals because of
Kuno's Combat Athletics Club which frequently entered into rivalry with
the Martial Arts Varsity, but he had a decent streak underneath,
"Thanks, Kuno."
"I shall be on my way, then. Fare thee well," he said with
a curt nod as he strode away.
"Who was that?" asked Akane as they entered the class room.
"Tatewaki Kuno, Kodachi's brother. We generally don't
like each other much. Mostly because I'm a better fighter than he is
and a lot of the time, he ends up trying to ask out women who are after
me-"
"Well, aren't we Mr. Modesty..." Akane smirked.
Ranma continued smiling a little, "He probably figures now that
I have you, they'll give up on me and go after him..."
"Which is what had better happen," said Akane
severely. Ranma merely gave her a look of mild surprise, "Seemed like
a nice enough person," she added.
"Yeah, you have to admit he is," conceded Ranma, "At
times. A bit arrogant though. And a little stubborn. And stupid. And--"
"I think you've made your point, Ranma..." said Akane sourly.
They sat down near the front. In short order the teacher,
a burly man in his forties, arrived and immediately noticed Akane,
"Excuse me, miss. Are you in this class?"
"She's auditing it, Onsen-sensei," responded Ranma quickly.
"I asked her, not you, Saotome." said the teacher gruffly,
"If you're not registered for this class, please step out. No sit ins."
"Oh great," muttered Ranma to himself.
"Now, please," said the teacher impatiently.
"Um... I'll go wait in the van then. I don't want to
cause any more trouble for you."
"No, I have a better idea. The cafeteria's just down
the hall and around the corner. Why don't you get something to eat,
you skipped breakfast again... I'll catch up with you in about an hour
or two, okay?"
"Saotome. Miss. We don't have all day, " the teacher
remarked in a bored voice.
"Sorry, sensei," Ranma replied, then turned to Akane
and said, "Be careful and try not to attract too much attention,"
As Akane walked out of the classroom she gave Ranma a
last backwards glance and a smile. Ranma smiled back and waved her
out. This of course sparked an entirely new set of rumors and
stories spreading as the teacher began the lesson. Unnoticed by
everyone, Ranko, in her superdeformed mode trailed after Akane.
Akane found the cafeteria with no problems. She had a
little pocket money, mostly tips from Ucchan's, which she used to get
herself some food. She was so upset with Ranko this morning that she
had entirely forgotten to eat. She chose a table in the corner and
tried to make herself as inconspicuous as possible. Little chance of
that. The story about her and Ranma was already so widespread that
practically everyone knew her by the description. Not that she
could hide her facial markings, nor was a five foot long mallet all that
easy to hide either.
Without her realizing it, several dozen men had
already moved into the closest tables and had begun to subtly look
her over. They liked what they saw. In fact, they loved what they
saw. In a matter of minutes, practically every man who had seen her
(and a few women as well) were firmly in love with the goddess of
conflicts, Akane Tendo. Most were almost ready to work up the courage
to ask her out, but for the fear that they would get their heads
kicked in if Saotome found out. Underneath a table, mini-Ranko was
waving around a smoking little bottle which was filling the air around
Akane with pheromones to make her absolutely irresistible... Filling the
room with LOVE.
Within half an hour of Akane seating herself there,
four long standing relationships had broken up, one proposal for
marriage was shelved, a dozen men got slapped for letting their
attention wander, and at least one man was electrocuted by his rather
volatile alien fiance.
(continued in the next post...)