Ok, I'm a newbie here, but I've seen this arguement over and over again in
a thousand different places, and the best solution I've ever seen to this
debate was:

1.Allow SPAM about the topic only.  No going off the original topic.
2.If people choose to respond to someone on a personal level (instead of a
to a wider audience), let them take it to private e-mail (i.e. hey
Fruitcake, sorry I couldn't make it to BLAHBLAH anime night the other day
<-- this is a private message and shouldn't waste space in a public place).
3.If you don't have anything new to add to the discussion, don't bother
writing (what's not needed is 6000 people responding with, "Yea, I agree"
or "No way, I disagree" if they're not going to add an intelligent reason
why).
4. Flames should NEVER be allowed in public.  No one cares to hear it. Period.
5. Keep posts informative, intelligent and in good taste.

Hope this helps.

- Rena