And now, the end you were expecting, and yet, will be astonished by. 
 Or something like that.

 RA-MAN AND PIGBOY: THE CONCLUDING CHAPTER!!

 All charas are not owned by yours truly, they have merely been shanghiad,
and forced at gunpoin to appear in this thing.
 If Rumiko Takahashi is reading this, I'm very, very sorry!!

 The Scene: Cameolot. Enter, King Arther..

 No, sorry, wrong scene.

 Ranma: Oh, stop trying to pretend this has anything of value. Youre only
making         yourself look bad.

 Anyway, the scene: Ucchans. 
 The inside. Ranma (aka, all together now, Ra-man!!) is eating on some of
Ukyo's prize meals. 

 Ukyo: So, Pig-boy's been captured?

 Ra-man: Yeah. And Akane. <sigh> I really wish the hostage-boy would learn
to keep himself outta such situations. But, no-o-o-o.. he's gotta..

 Ukyo: Er, Ranma..

 Ra-man: ..be the bloody hero, try to capture all the crooks, be superman. bah!!
         I'd be better off with you as a sidekick, Uchan.

 Ukyo: Oh, really?? <sigh>

 Ranma: Or Akane. Hell, even Shampoo's got more sense then the walking
detour sign...

 <Ukyo hits him with a spatula>

 Ranma: What? 

 Just then, the door fly open, and green-suited goons with long hair and
bell bottums burst in. 

 Goon: Ha!! We've got ya know!!

 Ranma: I don't think you've got anything.

 Goon: Oh, yeah?

 Ranma: Someone dressed in bell-bottums shouldn't be quite so smug.

 Goon: You shut-up!! You think we wanna be dressed like this??? Hell no!! But,
       Katze-sama said, "dress like this", so, here we are, stuck in this...

 Ranma: Oh, geeze.. when did the Counsal of Wierdness hire Galactor's goon?

 A person apears. He is wearing a drab grey buisness suite. 
 
 Man: Hold It!! You can't do this!!
 
 Ranma: Huh...?

 Man: You can't use these copyrighted characters.

 Ranma: Oh, like it's gonna make a diffrence at this point?

 Man: Shut-up!! I'm Ted Turner!! I OWN These characters!! I won't let them
be       used without stiff usage fees!! I'll..

 Goon: Oh, so youre Ted Turner, eh? Hey.. we've got some friends who want to
have a word with you over your, er, version.

 Turner: Uh...

 Goon: Just walk this way...

 Turner: If I could walk that way...

 Ukyo hits him with her giant spatula.

 Ranma: Thanks, Uchan. Now! Too work!!

 He runs out the door.

 Meanwhile, in a dark and dreary place:

 Ryoga awakens. 

 Ryoga: Oh.. where am I? Oh, yeah, I remeber.. some folks offered to sell me
a         map.. and then, gas.. and.. where am I.
  
 Akane: Youre trapped just like I am.

 Ryoga: Akane!!

 Akane: Yeah. We've been captured by the Counsal of Wierdness, to..

 Ryoga: Er, pardon me, Akane, but hasn't this already been covered?

 Akane: Hmmm... yeah, I guess it has. So, when is that hentie bakka gonna get
        stop wasting time and rescue us?

 Ryoga: He always' was late, wasn't he..?

 Akane: Not all the time.

 Ryoga turns white. Blood starts dripping from his nose. He faints. 
 The lights come up. Akane and Ryoga are revealed to sitting in seprate
glass cages, high above the floor. On the ground before them, are Catslut,
Kodachi, Kunou, and Mousse. 

 Catslut: Good. Trap is set. All we need do know, is wait for arrival of Ranma.
 
 Kodachi: Ahh, lotion, dear..

 Catslut: Shampoo!!
 
 Kodachi: Whatever. What makes you think he'll come here, of all place? 

 Catslut: Easy. He borrow Great-Grandmother's herb book. Is due back to-day!!

 The others fall over.

                      <>   
  
 Ranma looks up the resturant of the amorus amazons. He twist and turns,
hedging, trying to make up some excuse not to go in.
 
 Cologne: Ahhh... future son-in-law!! Youve brought the ancient text.

 Ranma: Uh, yeah. <he enters> 

 Cologne: Put it on the shelf, dear.
 
 Ranma: Right. Um, Cologne, is Shampoo in?

 Cologne: Yes, future son-in-law. She's down in the basement.

 Ranma: The basement?? This place is big enough to have a basement?

 Cologne: About as much sence as the Tendo Dojo having one, eh?

 Ranma: Right. Good point.

 Cologne: That mural over there is the entrence point. Just turn the obvious.

 Ranma: Thanks, Cologne.

 Cologne: Ranma!! <he turns back> Beware of the hiddens traps.

 Ranma: Right. I'll just do my Indiana Jones impression!! Piece o' cake.

 He enters the next room, and finds the mural Cologne was refering too. A
wall of pictures. Mostly of him, Akane, Kodachi, Ukyo (Wich looked like it
had been run over by a tank), and other females, most of whom resembled the
amazons he'd encountered in China. He spied a pic of Akane. He frowned. He
touched the pic.   The bikini covering her upper torso was quite false.
 Now Ranma gulped. He felt little prick of water on his skin. He rubbed his
eys, trying to get the nerve to undertake this hazzaderous mission. Finally,
he reached up and lifted the bikini from Akane's picture (visualizing her
hitting him with a mallet and calling him worse names), and gulped. He then
(finally) noticed one of Akane's breasts was a cut-out. 
 He sighed. Why me, he thought.

 Downstairs, Kodachi and Kuno stood, watching and waiting.

 Kodachi: Brother, why are you not wearing a mask?

 Kuno: because, I was not able to find a mask that suited me. besides. The
wearing of masks is dishonorable.

 Kodachi: Oh, rubbish. Here. Try these. <She hands him some wrap-around
sunglasses> Now, you'll look like Jim Morrison.

 Kuno: Why do I need the disguise anyway? Why does the fact I am wearing
sunglasses, or you are wearing that mask, make people unaware it is I
       behind the shades?

 Kodachi: Oh, Tatewaki. I see your inexpierince in the comic form is catching
          up with you.

 Kuno: I don't read comics. It is benith me. Poetry stirs the minds.

 Kodachi: Yes, yes, but, this IS a comic-style story. 

 Kuno: But, why is wearing a mask esentual? Won't the villinous Ranma know
it is        me no matter the disguise?

 Kodachi: It's reffered to as the Clark Kent/Superman phenomenom. When a simple
          pair of glass can change the apearence of someone enough that
          others do not realise the identity of the indivisual.

 Kuno: It has such power??

 Kodachi: Try it and see.

 <He puts on the glasses. Mousse apears>

 Mousse: Kuno, we need help in the.. hey!! Who are you?!?! How did you get here?

 Kodachi: Relaxe, Mousse-boy. It's only my brother.

 Mousse: Really. Wow. Amazing disguise, Kuno-san.

 Kuno: Hm. How remarkable. Thank you, Kodachi. This bears investigating.

 Catslut: He's here!! Ranma's here!! Places!!

 <They scatter. after a moment, Ranma enters. He sees the two cages hanging
from the cieling>

 Ranma: Just can't stay outta trouble, can ya?

 Ryoga: Hey!! I never touched that girl!!

 Akane: Ranma, look out!! They're going to hurt you!! It's a trap!!

 <Kuno jumps out from his hiding place with his sword>

 Kuno: Ranma!! Kakugo!!!!

 <Ranma yawns, then swipes Kuno off towards the far wall>

 Kodachi: Ahh ha!! Ranma!!

 <She attacks. Ranma avoids her attacks, leaping off the walls, then,
pulling something from regions undisclosed, he hurls it towards the binding
that holds the cages. It snaps a pair of razor-sharp wings open. The
bindings snaps, the cages fall, Mousse, who was waiting to attack Ranma, is
knocked out, as is Kodachi, Kuno and Catslut>

 Akane: Well, ya bakka!! You took your own sweet time!
 
 Ranma: I guess I should've taken longer, eh, kawaikunnee?

 She hits him with her mallet, then sends him flying. Ryoga just smirks.

 THE END!!

 Apologies for this trite all around, guys. But, after that suggestion, how
could I resist? Sorry if the charas are not quite right, but, I've not seen
much Ranma... just read a hell of a lot...

 Ok.. flames and whatever else ya wanna drop on me are welcome.. exept
colonies..