I'm posting this again, mostly because some people missed it the 
first time and I didn't really get much in the way of C&C. But I heartily 
thank everyone who sent in an encouraging word. There are a few very 
minor and niggling rewrites in Parts I - III, mostly grammatical and 
spelling errors as well as some minor clarifications of certain unclear 
points. Part IV is now complete and I've got a few pages of Part V 
ready... should have it posted within a few weeks...

	This  is  something  a little different from the  other  
crossovers you've no doubt seen. I've tried to catch the spirit of both 
worlds without making it too much like one or the other. Despite the 
names
shared by these characters with their originals, the characters may not 
necessarily act the way their namesakes would. Keep it in mind. I've 
tried to make it a bit more mature, but still keeping a bit of
absurdity to keep things interesting. Also keep in mind that there are 
quite a number of cameos from various sources. Spot them all and win a 
prize! (Not cash, sorry...) Please send C&C and any suggestions on the 
story to ebon@globalcafe.com.ph.  

Standard   fanfic   disclaimer  averring  that   all   characters, 
situations,  places and events with even a vague  resemblance  to the  
work of Rumiko Takahashi, Fujishima Kosuke's, CLAMP, whoever did Koko  wa 
 Greenwood or any one of a number of works, probably was borrowed in  the 
 first  place. Apologies  to  all. Rights are to whoever owns them. Don't 
bother to sue, though. I'm broke.


I hereby present, for the reader's perusal:
        Sore wa Nibunoichi Megami-sama.
        (That's 1/2 My Goddess.)
        A Ranma 1/2 - Oh! My Goddess semi-crossover fanfic by Scriviner

PART I: Of Things Free and Unwished For

             Just  a  short distance away from the campus of  the  Nekomi 
Institute of Technology was the Greenwood Dorm and Dojo. It was a 
generally quiet little  place in a  generally quiet little     
neighborhood. Most of the time. 
             The thing is, you see, the Greenwood D & D was a men's dorm. 
Not only  that... it was the dorm of used by the N.I.T. Martial  Arts 
Varsity  team. The place where  most of the school's best fighters ended 
up.  As  a result, a lot of  the students who  lived  here  were  healthy 
strapping men of action, little given to introspection or peaceful 
contemplation. In simple terms  this meant lots of big, strong martial 
artists with short tempers and a  knack for causing  plenty  of  property 
 damage. Greenwood was well loved by the local building  contractors  for 
their  contributions  to  the local economy and much hated by insurance 
companies for the constant damage the place kept sustaining.  This was 
probably the only dormitory in  town  which had a policy covering 
incidental obscure weaponry damage (including the  infamous bandanna, 
umbrella, broom  and  toilet-training potty subclauses), Chi strikes, and 
incidental furniture damage  by  hurling. As things stood now, it  looked 
 like  their rates were going to go up once more. They were at it again. 
Three of  the dorm's residents were running down the main hall  to the 
dojo. To put things more precisely, two of  the  men were chasing a 
third. That was Ranma Saotome. This sort of thing was generally a prelude 
to trouble. 
	Ranma  was  already  breathing hard as his  two  dorm  mates 
chased  him.  He was a handsome young man in his early  twenties dressed 
 in a red Chinese shirt and some comfortable  pants. His hair, which was 
pulled back into a short braid, bounced back  and forth  as  he ducked 
and dodged the  various  bandannas,  knives, yoyos and furniture that 
were being lobbed in his direction.
	Aside  from his two pursuers Ranma had an  unusual  problem. 
Women. They loved him. They really, really loved him. He had  his own fan 
club and everything.
	It  wasn't  as  if he did anything  to  encourage  them.  If 
anything, he actively tried to discourage them. It didn't work, of 
course. They still popped up in the hallways and in his classes, giving  
him gifts, love letters, inviting him to dinner,  dropped by  the dorm on 
the flimsiest of excuses. Another man might  have settled  back and just 
enjoyed it, Mikado Sanzenin of the  combat skating team came to mind, but 
Ranma vehemently disliked it. 
	He  didn't  dislike the girls personally or the food  (his father 
 had raised him to never turn down anything free) but all of the 
attention tended to be distracting during training. Also, there were only 
so many jealous boyfriends, irate brothers, and angry  fathers a man 
could take at one time. His dorm mates didn't like it all that much 
either. They claimed that their own  training  was starting  to suffer 
because of all the distractions caused by Saotome's  fans.  Actually, 
they were mostly just jealous.
	They finally managed to corner him in the dojo. 
	"Nowhere  to run, Saotome. Give up now and we might go  easy on 
you," said one of the men.
"Maybe..." said the other ominously cracking his knuckles.
	"No way, man!" said Ranma defiantly.
	The fellow he addressed was an impressively muscled, heavy set 
man dressed in a brown shirt with torn sleeves and an old pair of beige  
jeans.  He had a tiger striped bandanna to  hold  back  his shock of 
black hair. His face was currently twisted into a scowl. This was Ryoga 
Hibiki. He was not happy. He was  rarely  happy. The true reasons for 
which may become clearer at a later date, but as far as he was concerned, 
there was only one consistent source  of his aggravation and he was 
currently shouting at it,  "Ranma!  I told you already! It's your turn to 
stay and watch the dorm!" 
	The  other  man,  taller than  Ryoga and  with  a  far  more 
slender  build nodded in agreement. He was wearing a  long  white 
overcoat  and a pair of ridiculously thick glasses. He was good looking 
in an oddly predatory manner and had  long  black  hair which  fell  
straight  to the small of his back. His arms  were folded  across  his 
chest as he sent a look  of  amused  contempt towards Ranma. This was 
Mousse, a Chinese exchange student and one of  Ranma's dormmates. He 
noted in calm tones, "Hibiki is right,  Saotome.  you've been  going  out 
every night with your women for the  past  three weeks,  leaving us with 
the duty of watching over the  dorm.  You are the only one who has not 
completed his dorm sitting obligation in  over a  month..." he continued 
even as he took a moment to  clean  his glasses  on the cuff of his 
sleeve, "... it is only fitting  that this  entire week be yours, eh?" As 
he slipped his  glasses  back on, Mousse realized with some small measure 
of embarrassment that he  was now talking to the punching bag. The other 
two  tactfully avoided any comment.
	"Aw, c'mon you guys! They aren't MY women and it's not  like I  
ask them out, or anything..." began Ranma, "They're  the  ones chasing 
me--"
	"That  makes  it worse!" Ryoga interrupted, "They  waltz  in here 
and drag you out to the movies or dinner even in the  middle of training 
sessions, it's getting embarrassing, Ranma! All those girls  chasing  
you..."  Ryoga's hands had  already  balled  into fists.
	"Even  when  you're supposed to be guarding  the  dojo,  you 
manage to sneak a girl or two in by the time we get back. it just isn't 
done..." Mousse added disapprovingly.
	"I don't sneak them in, they sneak in on their own..." Ranma 
replied, "Ahh... You guys are just jealous," he added under his breath.
	"What was that, Saotome?" asked Mousse in low and  dangerous 
tones.
	Ryoga took it a little more personally, roaring, "That  does it, 
Saotome! I've had enough of you, you arrogant little--" 
	Ryoga  leapt  into  the air sending a  flurry  of  bandannas 
ripping  straight at Ranma's head. Ranma managed to jump  to  one side  
in order to avoid the bandannas leaving them to embed  into the Dojo's 
floor. Mousse, with exquisite timing stepped back  and released  a  storm 
 of  chains,  ropes  and  various  other  less identifiable things from 
the sleeves of his overcoat. Ranma,  who had  left  himself  open while 
avoiding the  bandannas  was  soon wrapped  tight  in  steel  and string. 
 He  fell  to  the  ground struggling to break free of his bonds.
	Ryoga landed with a little smile on his lips, "Now, Ranma... 
we're sure you'll be staying your shift."
	"I'll get you guys for this!!" 
	"No doubt you'll try, Saotome. We'll be back in a few hours. Make 
sure to take any messages and to clean up while we're gone," said  
Mousse, turning his back on Ranma and walking  purposefully towards  the 
 door. He was smiling as he flipped his  glasses  up onto his head.
	"Hey, at least let me out of these chains first you guys!!"
	Ryoga walked with Mousse towards the dojo's door and cracked his 
 knuckles, "You can get out of those on your own,  Ranma.  Oh yeah..." 
Ryoga said turning to look at Ranma again, a broad smile on his face, 
"Mousse and I already talked to the dorm  manager... If  anybody catches 
another of your girls in here, you are  going to  get  kicked  out of 
this dorm. No  more  violations  will  be tolerated."
	"But I don't help them sneak in, you stupid jerks!"
	"That's  what you say," replied Mousse cynically then  added in  
an  amused  tone,  "Try not to scratch  the  floor  too  much squirming 
around, Saotome."
	Ryoga  and  Mousse laughed as they walked out of  the  dojo, 
interrupted  only briefly by Mousse running face first  into  the wall 
next to the door.
	"Dumb  jerks..."  muttered Ranma to himself  as  he  started 
snapping  the chains one after another. Half an hour later,  only his  
ankles  were still bound when the phone in the  common  room suddenly 
rang.
	"Oh  great," Ranma muttered to himself as he  half  bounced, half 
stumbled out of the dojo, "I wonder who that is?"
	"Hello?" Ranma asked into the phone's receiver.
	"Hello, sir, " said a soft woman's voice on the other end of the 
line, "This is the Goddess Relief Office, we will be  sending our 
representative there shortly. Please stand by..." 
	"Hey,  who  is  this--"  Ranma  managed  to  blurt,   before 
realizing that he was talking to the dial tone.
	Ranma  frowned  at the phone. He was used to  strange  women 
calling him and leaving odd messages, but this was a new one.  He 
shrugged it off as just another girl trying to get his attention. He'd  
had  enough of that. He stretched a little and  decided  to take a little 
soak to relax himself.
	As  he walked to the bath Ranma was actually glad the  Ryoga and 
Mousse had saddled him with dorm sitting duty. With Shinosuke, Konatsu 
and Tarou in the country for the semestral break, and Gosunkugi  at 
another of his Dark Ritual of Summoning Meetings, Ranma had the dorm all 
to himself. Provided none of  his would be self-appointed girlfriends 
showed up, he thought that he would  finally have a nice relaxing 
evening. A little  peace  and quiet  was precisely what he needed just 
now. Too bad  he  wasn't going to get any.
	Ranma  was sitting up in the hot bath with his eyes  closed, 
gently dozing. "Blessed silence at last," murmured Ranma just  as a 
sudden burst of light illuminated the bathroom.
	Ranma's eyes flew open to see a widening black circle on the 
surface  of  the water. Light seemed to be pouring out  from  the circle 
and energy crackled at its edges as it grew. Ranma blinked his  eyes, 
trying to get used to the light when he got the  vague impression  of a 
form rising from the circle. Suddenly the  light was gone and there she 
was.
	Long seconds passed as she stood over Ranma with her feet on the 
 opposite  sides of the tub, looking rather  shocked  at  his state  of 
dress (or undress). She was in a white outfit,  trimmed in  red  which 
looked vaguely like a short dress,  with  matching boots, gloves and 
jacket. Strapped to her back was a large, oddly mechanical  looking 
hammer also in red and white. Her long  black hair was drawn into a  
ponytail, that reached to just  behind her knees. Ranma had just enough 
time to notice that despite  her surprised expression she was also rather 
cute... 
	Before  Ranma got a chance for a closer look, she'd  whipped the 
hammer off her back and brought it up over her head with both hands,  in 
an attack position. She screamed, "You  pervert!!"  as she brought the 
hammer down on Ranma's head. 
	Ranma's  reflexes  barely saved him as he ducked  under  the 
water and surfaced behind her. Her hammer crashed into the water, missing 
him by inches and slammed into the tub's floor,  cracking it. Half of the 
water in the tub was sent splashing out onto  the bathroom floor.
	"Hey stop that you idiot!" shouted Ranma at the girl.
	Realizing  that  this pervert was now behind her,  the  girl tore 
the mallet loose from the floor, whirled around swinging the mallet  in a 
wide flat arc. Dripping wet and rather naked,  Ranma jumped  onto the 
hammer, and vaulting from it,  launched  himself across the room towards 
the towel rack. Ranma's unexpected weight on  the hammer made the girl 
lose her grip. Undeterred, the  girl jumped  at Ranma from her position 
on the side of the tub,  ready to pound him to oblivion, with or without 
her weapon.
	Ranma managed to grab one of the towels off the rack as  the girl 
closed in. Ranma tried to simultaneously dodge the girl, tie the  towel  
around his waist and run for the  bathroom  door.  He would have made it 
too, if only the floor hadn't been so wet.
	With a cry of "Who's an idiot, you  pervert?!" the  girl rushed 
Ranma. 
	He  managed  to neatly sidestep her blow as he tucked  in  a 
corner of the towel. He took another step toward the door as  the girl  
suddenly  changed tactics and whirled around  to  drive  an elbow  into 
his gut. Ranma slipped suddenly on the wet floor  and struck the girl's 
elbow with his nose. Hard. Her blow sent  him flying  into  the opposite 
wall. He stuck to the wall for  a  few seconds  before  sliding off and 
leaving a shallow  Ranma  shaped impression in the shattered tiles of the 
wall.
	"What's  going  onnnnn..?"  Ranma  managed  to  say   before 
slipping into unconsciousness.
	The  girl  seemed  to calm down as  she  realized  that  the 
pervert was now out cold. 
	"Serves  him right," she muttered. She took a good  look  at him, 
 now sprawled on the floor, and a look of  confusion  passed across her 
eyes suddenly followed by horror. She murmured  aloud, suddenly appalled, 
"Oh no... was that the client?"

	Meanwhile,  one floor up and a few doors down the hall  from the 
bathroom, was Hikaru Gosunkugi's room. It vaguely resembled a cross  
between NASA mission control and an occult  antique  shop. 
	While it wasn't unheard of for some of Gosunkugi's stuff to glow, 
that  was  usually because he'd spilled luminescent paint on it by 
accident. One of his numerous  pieces  of camera equipment suddenly began 
to glow, without apparent cause. Much as Gosunkugi would have liked to 
believe it, that wasn't normal.
	The  diffuse  light  coalesced slowly and  began  to  gather 
itself  about  the camera's lens. The light collapsed on  itself creating 
 a  tiny pinpoint on the lens through  which  a beautiful  redheaded  
young woman  suddenly,  impossibly  stepped through.  She  looked  around 
her in confusion  and  called  out, "Hello? Anybody home?"

	Ranma was in his room as he woke up slowly. He'd just had an 
awful nightmare where he was being chased by this mad woman  with a  
mallet. It took a moment for him to realize that he was  still dressed 
only in a towel and that he was not alone.
	The girl from his dream was sitting next to him on the  bed, the 
immense hammer now strapped to her back once more. She smiled tentatively 
at him. Up close he could see that she had some  sort of odd triangular 
markings on her forehead and at the corners  of her eyes and she wasn't 
much younger than he was. 
	Ranma  winced as he felt his nose, "You're not going to  hit me 
again, are you?"
	"I'm  really  sorry about that, Saotome-san...  this  is  my 
first job in the field and I was a little nervous."
	"How do you know my name?"
	"We're supposed to know all about our clients, Saotome-san."
	Clients? thought Ranma to himself.
"Clients  of the Goddess Relief Office," she clarified.
	Ranma  sat up, "What are you talking about? Was that you  on the 
 phone a while ago?" he asked, remembering the strange  phone call. 
The  girl  looked as though she were about  to  answer  when something  
else occurred to him, "How the heck did you  get  into the  bathroom?  
What  were you doing in  there?"  then  added  to himself quietly, "No, 
wait... I know what she was doing in there, she were trying to smash me 
to a pulp..."
	"For which I'm really sorry Saotome-san," she said answering his 
unspoken thought, "Let me introduce myself first, I am Akane Tendo, 
Goddess of Conflicts 1st class, 2nd category, limited license..." she 
said with a bow.
	"A  goddess..." said Ranma skeptically, "Yeah.  Right.  Pull the 
other one."
	"... and I am here to give you one wish. Nearly any wish you 
could want," Akane continued brightly.
	"Very  original..." said Ranma looking annoyed, "You're  the most 
creative girl who's tried to sneak in here so far."
"I beg your pardon?" asked Akane, confused.

	The redhead was having a little trouble finding her  client. She 
was quite certain that he would be in the building at  least, but  so  
far she had not had much luck. She'd found a  couple  of risque  
magazines,  a cell phone, an unopened can of soda  and  a walkman... but 
nothing much client-wise.
	She  was  a little short, but not that it  really  mattered, 
since she was floating a couple of inches off the ground  anyway. She  
was very attractive possessing a certain  delicate  feminine charm. Her 
shock of long red hair was in a braid which reached to her  waist. Her 
clothes consisted of a multilayered  ensemble  of white  and purple which 
seemed to shift as she walked.  Her  blue eyes  betrayed confusion as she 
peeked into each of the rooms  in turn. So far, still nothing. No 
matter... she'd find this Saotome person  eventually, she thought to 
herself as she passed  through the door of another locked room. 

	"Original,"  continued Ranma, "I mean most of the girls  who come 
 here  just  drop off candy or food or special free pizza deliveries, or 
something." 
	"What are you talking about?" she said her brow furrowing as she 
seemed to understand something, "You think I'm here because I like 
you!?!" she started to laugh.
	It was now Ranma's turn to be confused. "What's so funny?"
	"Its just that I've never seen such a large ego on a  mortal 
before..!"  she  replied  before breaking  into  fresh  gusts  of 
laughter.
	"Large ego?!" Ranma replied, incensed, "What would you know, you 
uncute girl!"
	Akane,  suddenly frowned at him in mid laugh, "What did  you call 
me?!"
	"Uncute!" Ranma replied without thinking, as was his wont.
	"I  thought so..." she said as she pulled a  smaller  mallet from 
somewhere inside her jacket and walloped Ranma to the floor.
	"Now..."  she said taking a moment to put away  the  smaller 
hammer, "Who were you calling uncute, Saotome-san?" said Akane to Ranma 
who had been knocked to the floor.
	Ranma put a hand to his head as he got back on the bed.  His ears 
 were  still ringing from that unexpected blow.  She  wasn't acting like 
one of the girls who normally had a crush on him,  he thought  to  
himself. Usually those girls did their  violence  to each other, not to 
him... it was usually the angry boyfriends  he had to worry about...
	"Precisely, Saotome-san." said Akane smugly. "I don't have a 
crush  on  you," she seemed to find something  immensely  amusing about 
the concept.
	"Wait  a  minute. I just realized something...  you've  been 
answering my questions--"
	"...  before  you   say  them.  For  the  duration  of   our 
interview, I am allowed to read your thoughts in order to  better 
anticipate your every need."
	"You're reading my mind?" he asked.
	"Not entirely... just your surface thoughts." she smiled.
	"Okay  so  what  am I thinking  now?"  Ranma  asked,  trying to 
think about onigiri, but somehow unable to keep his thoughts of how cute 
she looked out  of  his head... 
	Akane  blushed  a  little, and smiled,  "Er...  thanks.  I'm 
flattered."
	"About onigiri?" asked Ranma, puzzled.
	"No... you were thinking about how... er... cute I... um..." 
Akane continued, blushing. 
	Ranma's  eyes bugged out a little. "So... um... You're  sure 
you're not... er... You mean you're not another of my... erhm..." asked 
Ranma, now rather embarrassed.
	Akane  sobered enough to supply the word, "...groupies?  No, not 
 at  all," she smiled at him again. Ranma couldn't  help  but smile  
back. She was just so cute. "I told you, Saotome-san,  I'm here to give 
you your wish."
	"Could you just call me Ranma, please...  Akane, right?"
	"Okay."
	"So let me get this straight... a wish?"
	"Mmm-hm. One wish." Akane said holding up one finger.
	"So  what  can  I wish for? Can I wish  to  have  the  world 
destroyed?"
	"Actually, you could, but we don't like to do business  with that 
 kind  of  client. That's why  there's  a  strict  screening process."
             "So why me?"
	Akane just shrugged. "You fit the criterion."
	Ranma  felt  oddly flattered by that, "So I  could  ask  for 
anything, short of world destruction?"
"Pretty much."
	"Hmm...  I have to think about this..." he muttered  quietly to  
himself,  "World  domination..? Nah...  richest  man  in  the world..? 
Nah... world's best martial artist..? nah..." 
	Ranma's  head suddenly snapped up as he realized  something.
"What time is it?"
	"Nearly  ten thirty," Akane replied, mentally  checking  the 
time, "Why?"
	"You've got to get out of here!" said Ranma, panic rising in his 
 voice,  "My  dorm mates are arriving  soon,  if  they  catch another  
girl in here because of me, I'm going to get kicked  out of here!"
	"Well then you'd better make your wish fast, then..."
	"I'm too worried to make a wish! I could wish for the  wrong 
thing  and  totally  ruin  my life forever!  I  don't  need  this 
aggravation!"
	"Well...  what if we leave for a while, so they don't  catch me 
here?"
	"I  can't leave, I have to stay here until they come  home," 
Ranma  said,  every so often cocking his ears to  check  for  the 
approach  of  Ryoga and Mousse, "Argh... Please...  don't  bother with 
the wish, just get out of here? I have enough problems,  I'd rather not 
worry about you and a wish too..."
	"You're turning down your wish?" Akane asked, shocked.  "You 
can't  do  that! No one's done that in centuries!" she  was  also 
beginning to feel a rising tide of panic and depression, "It's me isn't 
it? Just because this is my first assignment you're picking on me..." 
tears were beginning to leak out of the corners of  her eyes.
	"Argh..! That's not what I said! It's just that you have  to 
leave  now, otherwise I'll be in really deep trouble...  but  its not  
your  fault...  but  I'd rather  not  worry  you...  Do  you understand?" 
  he said, now concerned with both himself  and  her and the possibility 
of imminent arrivals.
Akane  stood up and turned towards the door,  "Fine...  I'll just go back 
up to heaven... a failure..." she wiped her tears on the back of her 
hand.
	She  was already out the door and storming to the  bathroom, down 
the hall before Ranma was able to catch up with her.

	A  few  doors down and around the corner,  the  redhead  was 
getting bored looking for her client. She was taking a break. She was  
stretched out on Ryoga's bed, reading one of his  magazines, drinking the 
soda she'd found all the while listening to music on the  old walkman. 
She was a little annoyed at the  thing  too. There  was something wrong 
with the volume control,  because  the sound  kept getting suddenly loud, 
then quiet, then loud. It  was starting to get on her nerves.
	Despite  the  walkman, however, she was certain  that  she'd 
heard  a  noise... maybe that would be Saotome. With  a  resigned sigh, 
she got off the bed and drifted out into the corridor,  not bothering  to 
remove the head phones. That right there was a  big mistake.

	"Look, Akane..." he said, tentatively putting a hand on  her 
shoulder, "It's not you... girls have been after me and bothering me for 
most of my life. You're one of the few women I've actually been able to 
have a decent conversation with, even though we just met  today... and 
you don't necessarily count as a woman  because you're a goddess... 
and... er... um..."
	Akane  looked up at him, somewhat confused by his  babbling. She 
 could  feel concern coming from him which made her  smile  a little, 
"Okay. I think."
	"That's  better. Its just that I don't want either of us  to get 
in trouble... do you have to grant a wish?"
	"Well... not really, wishes have been refused before without 
penalty.  It's  just a little embarrassing for me to come back without 
having granted it. Do you really want me to go?"
	"Well, I enjoyed your company... um... and I don't want  you to  
go as such... it's just... I don't really want the  problems, you 
understand..? What if I give the wish to you?"
	Akane glanced downwards momentarily, "I'm a Goddess... we're not 
allowed to make wishes for ourselves..."
	"Oh. Um... er... Okay. So I can't give it to you..."
	Akane's eyes were dry now, "All right,  I  understand.  The wish 
can be returned to Heaven without  problems," she favored him with a 
small smile, "I guess I'm  not surprised the Yggradsil system picked you 
to receive a wish."
	"Thanks," Ranma replied rubbing the back of his head with a hand, 
blushing faintly.
	"I'd better go now before you get into any trouble..." Akane 
said.
	"Well... will you be able to come back? I mean... when I don't 
have to worry about my dorm mates? Just to talk? Or something?" Ranma was 
quietly railing at the injustice of it all... he'd finally found a girl 
he liked ... unfortunately she was a Goddess...
	Akane shook her head sadly, "We're not really allowed on Earth 
during our off duty hours..."
	"Well,  if it's any consolation for you... if I had to spend all 
 my time with a girl anyway,  I wish I could be with a girl like you."

	The redhead turned the corner, and there he was! Her client! He  
was  talking to some other girl... probably a  girlfriend  or something, 
she thought. He was cutie, mused the redhead...   With some fumbling she 
tried to adjusted the volume on the Walkman.
	She barely managed to catch him saying the words "...I  wish I 
could be... a girl like you..."
	A  look  of shock crossed her face as she  heard  this.  The 
marking  on her forehead suddenly flared with brilliant light  as she 
rose into the air. 

	Akane  was  taken by surprise by  Ranma's  statement...  but 
there  it  was  a clearly stated. The  marking  on  her  forehead 
suddenly  flared  with  a brilliant light as  she  rose  off  the ground. 
	Ranma  staggered back as Akane was enveloped suddenly  in  a 
glowing  column of white light which reached through the  ceiling and  
into  the  heavens. Behind him  another  eruption  of  light occurred  
and  as he turned to look, he saw a  beautiful  redhead similarly 
cocooned in light. 
	Within moments the effect had subsided, allowing both  women 
float  gently back to the ground. With a single  quavering  voice the two 
women said, "Your wish is granted."
	There  was  a brief moment of silence before the  two  women 
noticed  each  other and everybody started talking  at  the  same time.
	"Ranko!?" roared Akane at the redhead.
	"Akane?!" said the redhead, just as surprised.
	"Will somebody tell me what's going on?" said Ranma to both.
	"What are you doing here?"
	"Me?! What are you doing here?"
	"It  was my turn on the duty roster, you idiot!" Ranko  said 
floating in Akane's direction.
	"Your turn was last week! He's my client!"
	"It was for today! I already granted him his wish!"
	"My wish? What wish?" asked Ranma, now utterly confused.
	"YOU?! I granted his wish you incompetent red headed  excuse for 
a goddess!"
	"Incompetent  am  I!?," Ranko said in  a  dangerous,  silken 
voice  as she drew back slightly. A glowing sphere was  beginning to form 
between her hands.
	"That's  right... Here, let me show you how  incompetent..." 
replied Akane pulling her hammer out of its holster. She gave the head  a 
 slight quarter twist and it began to hum in  an  ominous tone.
	"Nobody's  going  to do anything to anyone until  I  get  an 
explanation!!" shouted Ranma at the top of his lungs.
	Ranko and Akane stopped in mid-threaten to look at him.
	"Alright.  Much  better. Now..." he said turning  to  Akane, 
"Who's she?"
	The  glowing  sphere Ranko was holding had  disappeared  and 
Akane  had put away her weapon as well. Both women crossed  their arms at 
the same time.
	"That's Ranko," replied Akane in a sullen tone.
	"Ranko, Goddess of Affection, first class, second  category, 
limited.  I'm  her  cousin,"  replied  Ranko,  in  a  tone  which 
indicated  she  wasn't  particularly happy  about  the  state  of affairs 
either.
	"Fine.  Much  better. Now what are you  doing  here  Ranko?" 
asked  Ranma, trying hard not to sound as if he were  talking  to 
children.
	"It  was my turn for the field assignment according  to  the duty 
 roster, but hammer girl over here," Ranko said  nodding  to Akane, "Must 
have misread the chart."
	"And  I  keep telling you that it's my  turn  today!"  Akane 
retorted sharply, getting ready to pull out the maligned mallet.
	"I don't care..." Ranma replied, now gritting his teeth,  he was 
 starting  to get a migraine. "Now... what was that  about  a wish?"
	"The Head Office granted your wish," said both women at  the same 
time. They glared at each other.
	"We can't have both granted him a wish, he's only authorized 
one!" said Ranko.
	"Wait... What wish?" asked Ranma, still rather lost in  this 
conversation, "I don't remember making a wish--"
	"Yes you did," Ranko interrupted, "It was rather  surprising I'll 
 give you that much. Nobody's asked for that in at  least  a couple of 
decades..."
	Akane  thought  for a moment then said, "We'd  better  check with 
 the  Head Office and clear this up," she turned  to  Ranma, "Can we use 
your phone?"
	"Sure...  just clear this up fast. The guys are probably  on 
their way back by now," Ranma sighed, "This way," he said leading them 
down the hall.
	"Okay,"  Akane  replied smiling at Ranma, "I'm  pretty  sure this 
 will  all  turn  out to  be  the  henna  haired  harridan's fault..." 
she added, jerking a thumb at Ranko.
	"Who  are  you  calling a harridan,  amateur?"  said  Ranko, 
incensed.
	"Amateur am I?" returned Akane through gritted teeth.
	"Cousins,"  muttered Ranma, to himself, "Of  course  they're 
cousins... some things must run in the family, I guess."
	"What  was  that, Saotome?" Ranko suddenly  asked  Ranma  in a 
silken voice. 
	"Erhm... nothing..." Ranma replied lamely.
	Akane  picked  the  phone up, frowning  all  the  while  and 
punched the buttons in an incredibly complex sequence.
	"Hello, yes," Akane said into the receiver, "This is  Akane, 
Sir...  There seems to be some sort of mix up here, Sir... Both contracts 
 are approved..? Is he getting his wish  twice  then..? What do you mean 
she sent up a different  wish..?  Different contracts..? Sir, why would 
my contract be worded like that?! Ranko's staying here too..?"
	"I'm WHAT?!?!" screamed Ranko, livid.
	"She's what?!" Ranma roared simultaneously.
	Akane continued to talk, "Yes, Sir, Ranko's still here. I'll put 
 her  on," she handed the phone to the redhead,  "Here...  He wants to 
talk to you."
	Ranko grabbed the receiver, "What do you mean I'm  staying?! I  
sent  up the wish he wanted..! There has to be  some  sort  of mistake..! 
 What  do  you  mean I made  the  mistake..!?  He's  a what..?!"  she  
added in low tones, "Oh boy... But if it  was  an invalid wish anyway why 
are we still enforcing the contract? What do you mean you don't know?! 
Er... sorry, Sir... Yes, Sir... Yes, Sir... I understand that's how it 
works, Sir... Good bye, Sir. ARGH!!!" Ranko slammed the phone back  onto 
its cradle.
	"Well?" asked Ranma expectantly.
	"Well... apparently you are receiving two wishes..." replied 
Ranko, nervously.
	"What wish are you talking about? I haven't even wished  for 
anything.  I was just about to send Akane back to Heaven without  giving 
 me the wish..."
	"Well..."  said  Akane fighting off a blush,  "You  sort  of 
wished  you  could spend the rest of your time with a girl like me... It 
was interpretted to mean you wanted to spend your time with... me."
	"I...  I... what?" sudden realization dawning on  his  face, 
"Oh..."
	"...and  now  we have a contract which  says  I will be your 
companion... for the rest of your life. Um... He told me the contract 
is... um... sort of worded like a formal betrothal." 
	Ranma  looked as though he were ready to faint,  "Betrothal!? 
Betrothal? But it's not really a betrothal is it?"
	"Um... there's no real need for us to marry or anything... it was 
just the wording," said Akane vaguely. Truth to tell... if she understood 
it correctly they were bound in such a way that was even closer than any 
normal marriage...
	"Okay... okay... " said Ranma, calming down slightly, "I think I 
can deal with that... what's this about another wish?"
	"Er..."  Ranko replied with obvious reluctance, "I  sort  of 
heard  you  saying that you... er wished you  could  be...  er... 
agrlykmi."
	"What was that? Slow down, Ranko, I didn't hear you.  Wished I 
could be what?"
	"Er... a girl like me."
	"THAT'S THE OTHER WISH!!!?!?!?" roared Ranma.
	"It's not my fault!" Ranko shot back.
	In  a fit of rage Ranma rushed forward and grabbed Ranko  by her 
arms, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WANTED TO BE A GIRL?!?!?"
	What  rather surprised him was the fact that his voice  came out 
 a few octaves higher. He also noticed rather belatedly  that he  was  
now the same height as Ranko. Also... his  balance  felt distinctly...  
odd. Eyes glazed in shock and not daring  to  look down,  Ranma's  hands 
moved to touch his chest.  Rounded.  Rather well rounded. Very distinctly 
female...
	Ranko produced a small hand mirror from somewhere and showed it  
to Ranma. He looked at it uncomprehendingly.  The  reflection looking  
back at him wasn't the rugged good looks and  dark  hair he'd  become  
accustomed  too. Rather  it  was  Ranko's  delicate features  and red, 
red hair... He was now a she. This was  waaaay too  much.  Ranma gave a 
full throated scream  of  horror  before fainting dead away.
As  he  slumped  to the floor, Akane  turned  a  wry  glance towards 
Ranko, "You could've handled that better you know."
	"Oh shut up and wake him up. I still have to explain how  it 
works."
	Akane  merely sighed. She knelt down next to Ranma, who  now 
looked  exactly like Ranko except for the shorter braid  and  the  lack 
of facial markings, and gently slapped her face. "Wake up." 
	Ranma  came to his senses after a few more slaps. "Ow.  Stop 
that..." he said before realizing that his voice was now back  to normal, 
"Hey, I'm not a woman, it was all just a bad dream..." he said happily, 
before noticing his current situation. He was still on  the floor, but 
Akane was now cradling his head somewhat.  All in all not a bad position 
to be in if you're a man.
	Long  seconds  passed while the two tried to  sort  out  who 
ought to move first all the while Ranko stood to one side with  a 
disgusted  look on her face. "Will you two love birds stop that? Just 
help him get up--"
	The door of the common room suddenly burst  open  revealing Ryoga 
and Mousse, followed by Gosunkugi and a few of the other dorm residents 
who didn't go home for vacation.
	"I  knew  it!  I knew you couldn't  resist  the  temptation, 
Ranma!" said Ryoga pointing an accusing finger at him.
	"You  were warned, Saotome," said Mousse,  "Your  punishment will 
be most severe."
	Gosunkugi  didn't even bother making accusations. He  simply 
pulled out a 35mm camera and started taking photos.
	"Wait! It's not what it looks like really! I can explain!"
	"Oh,  really? Very well, then Saotome... I am curious as  to how 
 you intend to explain fact one," Mousse said holding up  one finger,  
"Two  women  in  the  common  room,  after  you'd   been specifically 
instructed not to let them in anymore. Then there is fact two, " he 
continued, holding up a second finger. 
	"The  fact  that  you are on the floor of  the  common  room 
wearing  nothing  but  a  towel,  in  the  presence  of  the  two 
aforementioned  women," Ranma made a small strangled sound as  he 
realized that he was indeed still wearing only his towel.  Mousse held up 
a third finger, "And fact three..."
	"The fact that you are currently being held by one of  these 
aforementioned  women,"  Ranma  and Akane both  blushed  as  they 
realized their positions. Both scrambled to stand up. Mousse held up a 
fourth finger in triumph.
	"And  finally,  fact four... we heard a scream  of  feminine 
anguish as we entered the dorm, no doubt you forcing yourself  on the 
other lovely lady..." Ranko favored Mousse with a smile which caused his 
glasses to fog up, "Explain away that, Saotome. I dare you."
	"Er... If you put it that way. This looks really bad doesn't it?" 
asked Ranma.
	Most  of  the  other  dorm  residents  nodded  their   heads 
vigorously in agreement, that yes, indeed it looked really bad.
	"I don't suppose we could overlook this..?"
	"Enough  talk, Ranma! Now take your punishment like  a  man! 
Expulsion from Greenwood!! Grab him!"
	Within  a  matter of minutes, Ranma, Akane  and  Ranko  were 
grabbed, man- (or woman-) handled and thrown out onto the  street along 
with a small packed bag of Ranma's belongings.
	Ryoga  slammed  shut the door with the final  words,  "We'll send 
 you  the  rest  of your stuff once you  give  us  your  new address!"
	Ranma, still in the towel. Looked around him in dismay. "Why is 
this happening to me?!" he asked the heavens.
	"Bad karma?" offered Ranko with a grin.
	"Let  me in you jerks!!" cried Ranma, as he pounded  on  the 
door.
	A  small crowd of people had already gathered to  watch  the 
spectacle.  Murmurs of "Isn't that Ranma?", "A towel?",  "What  a 
pervert!",  "Nice tush though..." were already making  their  way around.
	"I'm really sorry about this Ranma," said Akane, hesitantly, 
"Um...  maybe you should... er... put something on  first  before you 
catch cold..."
	"What  are  you talking abou--?" asked Ranma as  he  glanced 
down, then around. 
	He gave a small strangled sound (sort of like an Aghk!  only with 
more feeling) and ducked behind one of the trash cans.
	"Hey!"  he  railed  at the crowd, "Haven't  you  people  got 
anything better to do?!"
	As the people began to disperse, some shaking their heads at the 
state of the youth today and some with an occasional sidelong glance,  
even one person who took a snapshot, Ranma asked  Akane, 
	"Uh... could you hand me some clothes from that bag?" 
	"Here..." offered Akane, doing her best not to look.
	"Thanks," he said as he changed into his clothes, doing  his best 
to keep the trash can between him and the two girls.
	Ranko  leaned to one side to get a better view of him as  he put 
his pants on and muttered, "Hey, that lady was right, he does have a nice 
tush..."
	"Ranko,  stop  that!" said Akane,  acutely  embarrassed  for 
Ranma.
	"Anyway,   as   I  was  saying  before  I  was   so   rudely 
interrupted,"  Ranko  said  as Ranma  finished  getting  dressed, 
"Basically...  Ranma will turn into a girl if he comes too close to me."
	"What?!" said the other two simultaneously.
	"Here, watch." She moved close to Ranma, nearly touching him and 
suddenly, without even a puff of smoke or a three minute long 
transformation  sequence,  Ranma had turned into a  nearly  exact twin  
of Ranko. Their only major difference was in the length  of hair and the 
face marks. Ranma's clothes were now looser in  some ways, but 
considerably tighter in others...
	"Argh!!"  said the now female Ranma, "Turn me back! Turn  me 
back!"
	"That's  the other thing... you change back only when  Akane 
touches you," Ranko said, now stepping back.
	"When I what!?" asked Akane
	"You've got to touch him."
	Akane stood next to Ranma and touched the tip of her  finger to  
his  shoulder.  Just as quickly as he'd been  turned  into  a woman, he 
was a man again.
	"See?" said Ranko, "Simple."
	"Who's  idea was this?" said Ranma, examining himself,  more or  
less trying to make certain that all of his... ahem...  parts were where 
they were supposed to be.
	"I  don't  know. That's what was on the  contract...  or  so 
Kami-sama said."
	"Kami-sama?" asked Ranma.
	"Yeah. On the phone, remember?"
	"You're kidding, right?"
	Both girls shook their heads.
	"That was hi-- I mean, that was Him?"
	Both girls nodded.
	"Geez...  I don't think you can get a higher authority  than 
that, I guess," then Ranma brightened perceivably, "Well,  that's simple 
then. If you just stay away from me, I don't have to worry about turning 
into a woman!"
	"It's  not quite that easy, Ranma," said Akane, "Neither  of us 
can be separated from you... if you try to leave either of us 
permanently... let's just say bad things will happen.
	"Oh  great..."  said Ranma, hanging his head, "No  place  to live 
 and stuck with two goddesses, one of whom will give  me  an instant sex 
change if I stand to close to her."
	Ranko  looked  faintly  bored and  Akane  was  still  rather 
embarrassed by it all.
	"Let  me  get  this  straight... you've  got  some  sort  of 
contract  with  me,  right?  Making  sure  that  my  wishes  stay 
fulfilled?"
	Akane nodded.
	"But  one  of the wishes was faulty right? Couldn't  I  just have 
that one annulled or something?"
	"Well, you see Ranma, it's not that easy. Something happened when 
the Ygradsil System processed your request. My contract with you is 
inexorably linked to Ranko's contract with you--"
	"What  she means, Saotome," interrupted Ranko, "Is  that  if you 
want to get rid of me, you have to get rid of her too..."
	Ranma had to think about that. "So, how do I do that?"
	"You have to break the contract... I'm not sure who did  the 
wording, but I was told you have to break her heart to break  that 
contract.  That  or if she wants to leave you and you  let  her." 
	Ranko  had a sour face on. She was the goddess of affection.  She 
knew  perfectly well that this idiot human and her tomboy  cousin were 
going to follow the dictates of their hearts. Damn.
	Ranma  gave a huge sigh. "Come on then you two. If  I  can't get 
rid of either of you, I've at least got to see about  finding us  a place 
to live," he picked up the bag and jerked  his  thumb down the road "My 
van's parked around the corner..."
	The two goddesses shrugged and turned to follow him.
	As the three made their way down the curb, Ranma muttered to 
himself, "What else could go wrong..?"
	Overhead,  storm  clouds  rumbled  ominously  as  though  in 
answer.