you should have had the rape and stuff, then maybe "akane, i never
wanna do that again."  much more int'resting.

Ranma noticed the time on Akane's alarm clock, 3:00.  "I better head

wow.  4 hours?  from my strictly vicarious experiences in this matter
i'd say you might go for a more reasonable time like 11:20, maybe.
perhaps a "sleep in each others arms" scene could warrant such a
long passage of time.

"I'm afraid to think what she'd charge us to keep this past night
under wraps."  Akane said as she blew a kiss to Ranma as he snuck out
the door.

snuck -> sneaked

Akane smiled at her sister, "The best, so far." she replied and
headed on down the stairs towards the bathroom.

leet line.

Whew!  This is my first attempt at a lemon.  How did I do?

not bad writing at all.

signed, --
---------------------------------------------Investigative Reports-
rugged rhymesters, crooked crimesters, dime droppers, 25-to-lifers,
back stabbers, low-blowers, illegal cocaine growers, starvation,
profanity, anxiety, brothers tryin' me, gun slingers, dead ringers
--------------------------------------we436@freenet.victoria.bc.ca-