Just to remind people of the true purpose of this list, here's a
little thing I found on a.f.sailor-moon.
It's not Hurricane Season (feel free to drop Latus-kun a few
hints), but it's good for a laugh.
HTG
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Mark Latus <Mark.Latus@MSVU.Ca>
Newgroups: alt.fan.sailor-moon
The Dark, Twisted, Grotesque, Violent and Generally Perverse Adventures of
the Sailor Scouts!
by Mark Latus (who needs a break from all those depressing and dead serious
SM stories)
"Distrust all in whom the urge to punish is powerful"
- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, "Thus Spake Zarathustra"
"In the name of the moon I will punish you!"
- Sailor Moon, "any episode"
"Uhm, there's nothing in the story relating to those quotes"
- Nitpicking proof reader
"Shut the f*** up! It's artistic license!"
- Mark Latus
It was a day much like any other in Tokyo. Apart from most of the
population mysteriously acquiring English names and a wide variety of
accents life proceeded much as it always had. Which, of course, meant
demonic creatures from the dreaded Negaverse were showing up with alarming
frequency. It made the old timers long for the good old days when all you
had to worry about were giant monsters walking through the city every few
months.
But this day would not remain so peaceful. For the champions of
justice known as the Sailor Scouts it would be a day like no other.
Before it ended they would have suffered in ways they could never
imagined! Their sweet virginal bodies would be violated in ways that
would sicken many sadists! Blood would stain their once white uniforms as
their hideous fate befell them! Clawed hands would seize their pert young
breasts and ... sorry I'm getting a bit worked up. I need to rest for a
few minutes.
[Automatic Writing Mode Engaged]
IMB Clone Fanfic Writer version 3.1 activated
Now operational. Reviewing text.
Oh dear, this is never going to work. Looks like another massive rewrite
job. What? You didn't think he wrote all this stuff by himself did you.
He just comes up with a concept and I have to fill in all the details.
When he does try to write himself it takes forever which is why that lousy
BGC fic is now six months overdue.
Frankly I'm getting worried by the organic component of this team. Any
adult male who devotes so much of his time to an obsession over a cartoon
about underdressed and underaged girls should be viewed with extreme
suspicion. Damn, he's coming back to mess with the story. Wonder if I
should erase this text? No. He never bothers proofreading and doesn't
listen to the folks who do. Better just set the scene.
Fade in on the interior of the unnamed soda shop the Scouts are always
hanging around in. Present are Serena, Raye, Mina Lita and Amy. Luna and
Artemis are conspicuously absent. Interpret that however you'd like.
[Automatic Writing Mode Entering Silent Running]
Raye was attempting to attract the others attention. "I am having
premonitions of doom. STOP IGNORING ME DAMNIT!"
Amy shrugged. "Raye, you're always having premonitions of doom! If
any of them were worth anything we'd be able to stop the badguys before
they strike. As it is you get about a three second lead on the evening
news.
Raye picked up her soda and muttered about how Amy would regret that
remark when she got anally raped by the Overfiend sometime this afternoon.
Nothing left in the glass and the waiter, a man with short blond hair and
a familiar looking purple uniform, was ignoring them. Being the short
tempered member of the group (this being her other defining
characteristic) she considered bouncing the empty glass off his head.
Meanwhile the others continued sorting through the pile of papers on the
table. For a change Raye had been the last to arrive so she had no idea
what they were doing. When she'd asked she'd been told a proper psychic
should already know. She was not amused.
In a booth not far away an unhappy foursome was running through a
list of changes. They'd been dragged into this fanfic at the last minute
and were feeling surly about losing a day off. The greenhaired teenage
girl was muttering and idly carving her initials into the table with a
knife her brother had materialized. He was studying a script and looking
unhappy. The stacked bluehaired women was studying waiter intently and
trying to ignore the man wearing the startrek t-shirt by her side. It
seemed her boyfriend was a lot geekier in this universe.
The greenhaired man put down the script and scowled. "What kind of a
name is Calflyte anyway? I wouldn't have lasted a day in the Dark Kingdom
with a name like that."
"Negaverse. This is the DiC World. Everything's from the Negaverse
around here. Look on the bright side, none of us shifted genders."
"Yeah, yeah. Why the hell are we even here?'
"It's a very bad injoke. I imagine the scene'll shift back to the
Senshi ...uhh the Scouts any second now. Say does that waiter look
familiar to you?"
Meanwhile Raye had finally attracted the waiter's attention. She
didn't react when he walked over to the table except to study the menu.
Which didn't say much about about either her psychic abilities or her
memory.
"Ok, I'll have another soda and maybe ..."
Serena looked around, "Hey I'll have another soda too."
"Me too."
"Likewise."
"Same here."
The waiter chuckled. "You should have chosen something better for
your last meal fools!"
"Huh?"
"You still don't recognise me?" He tossed the sodashop cap away.
"It's your archenemy Jedite! I have returned to ..." The fireball
engulfed his head and his hair ignited. A moment later his eyes melted
and superheated steam exploded out his nose, eyesockets, ears and mouth as
his brain's watercontent boiled. His skin crisped and burned away leaving
a bare skull. Basically all the effects you'd get from sticking someone's
head in a blastfurnace. Kids don't try this at home!
Raye was a little surprised at this as she was still just recognising
him. The bluehaired woman who'd thrown the fireball growled, "That's for
never remembering my birthday Dad!" Beside her Calflyte kept muttering
the words "low profile" over and over again like a mantra.
Serena looked down at the smoking corpse and went ewh! "Hey! You
just killed that guy."
Azurcite shrugged. "He was Jedite, he was evil. Besides the service
here is terrible! This seemed a more effective way to register a protest
than not leaving a tip."
Serena considered, Jedite had indeed been a lousy waiter. Still ...
"Well you can't just run around killing people. That's our job!" Mina,
Raye and Lita groaned while Ami kept stage whispering the words, "secret
identity".
The woman smiled and said, "It's okay, really." She touched her
bracelet and her clothing melted then reformed. She was now wearing a
typical Sailor Scout costume except that it was mainly black leather, a
lot lower cut in front, included a spiked collar and wristbands, stiletto
heeled boots ... actually it was a fairly atypical scout costume. Though
if they had all dressed like that perhaps they'd still be on the air. She
did a quick spin round for a gratuitous panty shot then struck a dramatic
pose.
"I am Sailor uh ..." What was that her codename? There were urgent
whispers from her table.
"Andromeda?"
"Alpha Centuri?"
"Gallifrey?"
"I am Sailor ... Tau Ceti (I think). As a Sailor Scout I am allowed
to kill sentient lifeforms without legal consequences or moral guilt
whenever I want."
"Oh. Well that's ok then." Serena sat down again, pity she'd been
rather looking forward to a good fight.
Having just demonstrated his encyclopedic knowledge of Serena's
character the writer decided to switch the scene back to the Scouts before
the injoke took over the story.
Raye looked down at the corpse which had begun the standard "crumple
to dust then vanish" routine. "Well, guess somebody has to go to the
counter to order now."
"I'll do it." Mina's volunteering surprised everyone as she usually
did her best to duck out of work. However Mina had realized that Serena
already had the lazy, ditzy role defined leaving her without a character.
As her Sailor V past had been retroactively erased she no longer had
anything to distinguish her from Serena apart from her hairstyle. She
needed some unique characteristics to keep from blending into the
background. Ami had the quiet studious role taken, Lita was the tough
girl with the heart of gold, Raye was the temperamental psychic and Serena
was almost a clone of her. But she'd got on the air first. So Mina was
going to try being the good natured, bubbly helpful one who gets treated
like a doormat and taken for granted. Not what she'd have preferred but
it was better than nothing.
The guy behind the counter didn't seem too concerned about his only
waiter going down in flames. These days in Tokyo you have to get used to
new staff potentially being energy sucking parasites. Besides
Negaversites work for less than minimum wage and don't expect a health
plan. Unfortunately they don't tend to last long before someone dusts
them.
"What'll it be, Miss?"
"Five generic sodas."
"Green or Blue?"
"I'm not sure. Say what's in this stuff anyway?"
"I've never asked." He paused. "I do have one new soda that I do
know the ingredients to. Jedite brought it in as part of his revenge
plan." He held up a glass of something pink.
"What flavour is it?"
"Human." Mina gagged. "At least I think it was human. It was kinda
hard to tell with her."
"Her? Who's in there?"
"Chibi-Usa."
"Who?"
"Sorry I forgot. Rini."
"Rini!"
"Yeah, Jedite grabbed her as part of his revenge plan. He melted her
down into a puddle of pink goo and added carbonated water. Result is
this."
"Uhm, how does it taste?"
"Excessively sweet and it's very bad for your mental and physical
health."
That figured. Mina thought about this. No more Rini. The pink
abomination was reduced to a high calorie softdrink. Jedite hadn't been
such a bad guy after all. It was obviously a crime against nature
allowing Serena to breed. Perhaps she could persuade Darrien to get a
vasectomy.
In the meantime drinking this stuff would be cannibalism. She
thought about this and smiled. She could be the cheerful, helpful one
with a hidden nasty streak. That would give her plenty of character.
"I'll take five glasses of the pink stuff."
Mina returned with five glasses of fairly ghastly soda. Raye thought
it was terrible but Mina was paying so she wasn't about to throw away a
free drink. "OK, I want to know what's with all the paperwork on this
table. And don't tell me it's Serena's manga."
The other four stared at Raye in shock. Amy hissed, "Comics, say
'Serena's comics'! You know we aren't allowed to use Japanese."
Raye remembered the penalties for violating the ethnic remarks
statues and went pale. "Sorry. Slip of the tongue. It'll never happen
again."
"I hope not. Anyway to answer your question these are the scripts
for our next adventure."
"Since when do we get scripts?"
"Since the writer decided to do one of those dark, serious Sailor
Moon stories."
"Serious? How serious can you make us? Sure there's an edge to some
of it but this ain't Wicked City. We're a cartoon about cute,
underdressed girls who fight monsters dumb enough not to attack until
we've finished making speeches. How do you make that serious?"
"Ignore the parts of the show that'd contradict you and throw in
plenty of serious drama."
"Namely sex and violence?"
"That's what most of it amounts too."
"Great!"
Lita picked up another script, it was about 15 pages long. "Look
let's get on with it or we'll be here all day." She glanced through it.
"Hey Raye, you star in this one."
"Really? Great! Wait a second, what happens?"
"Well on page one a dimensional gateway opens and tentacles try to
pull Serena in. You heroically break her free but get sucked into the
gateway and land in a place full of creatures with lots of tentacles and a
thing for schoolgirls." Lita flipped past the next fourteen pages. "And
you wind up orgasming to death."
"That's it? That's the entire story?"
"Pretty much. Oh it starts off rape but by page nine you're actively
participating."
"Jesus. Who wrote this? The sicko who did those Gor books?"
"Could be, his psuedonym's 'the wanker'."
Raye grabbed the script and tore it in half. "Look I'm getting sick
of being portrayed as a masochist. Do you really think I want to be
stripped naked, rubbed in oil, strapped to a rack, have alligator clips
attached to my ..." She realized everyone was staring at her and coughed.
"Well anyway, I'm not doing that one." Something occurred to her, "Just
how do you die by orgasm?"
"Doesn't say how. Just says you do."
Mina looked back at the script she'd been studying. "This one's got
possibilities. Amy gets bitten by a werewolf and becomes a Werewolf
Scout. Her repressed sexuality goes out of control and she jumps the
werewolf, Darien, Lita ..."
"WHOA, TIME OUT!" Lita didn't look happy. "I don't care what fanfic
canon is, I am neither lesbian or bisexual!"
"You are if they write you that way."
Lita sighed, "Man, I hate being fictional! Look if we have to do
that one couldn't we change it to the Outer Scouts? They're into that
stuff."
Mina considered. "I guess the readers might prefer a threesome.
Maybe a rewrite's in order."
Serena frowned. "Who the heck are the Outer Scouts?"
Ami used her computer to link to the Hitoshi Doi homepage and gave it
to Serena. "They're from the next series which DiC hasn't brought over.
And probably never will now. Sailors Uranus and Neptune."
"Oh. Hey these names are way to ethnic. They'll have to be changed
to fit in around here."
Raye nodded. "Sounds fair. We all had to get new names or new
spellings, why should they be exempt."
Serena nodded. "Absolutely. So we need new first and last names."
Ami shook her head. "No, we'll just need one family name."
"Why?"
"Because the only way they'll be allowed into this universe is as
sisters. Otherwise they're too close for comfort."
"Are you sure Amy?"
"Look if they won't even let us drink coffee they definitely won't
let lesbians in." Everyone nodded and Mina tossed the script as incest
would be pushing it.
"Next?"
"We brutally murder Mr. Rogers and kill everyone in his
neighbourhood."
"Next!"
Raye flipped one open. "OK in this one a thinly disguised author
avatar arrives with a variety of powers and winds up with us as his
personal harem."
They all broke out laughing. "Jesus, what a sad case."
"Get a life."
"Hahahahahaha ...."
Once they'd stopped giggling they moved on.
"Ok in this one we all get ripped apart by a monster."
"And?"
"That's it."
"That's it?"
"Well somebody from another series avenges our deaths but doesn't
seem too concerned about preventing them in the first place."
"Forget it. Next?"
"Another crossover with another series. Characters are all done
wrong. It's like that one a while ago that totally misinterpreted BGC."
"Hey I liked that!"
"Come on. Priss would never have run away like that. She's the
'storm the barricades and die fighting' type!"
"No she wouldn't. She's the 'run by attacking' type. She's always
been running away from life"
"Those are fighting words."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
Raye and Lita glared at each other and reached for their
transformation pens. Before this could become a flame war, or rather a
flame and lightning war, Amy tossed the script.
"Let's make a no crossovers rule." They muttered a bit but nodded.
Serena climbed back from under the table (where {she would like to
make it perfectly clear} she hadn't been hiding but merely looking for a
coin she'd dropped) and dusted herself off. "I saw we ditch all the
scripts that are just gratuitous sex and violence." Everybody agreed and
Ami scanned the script pile with her computer. Then she pushed 90% of
them off the table.
"Well these ones aren't gratuitously violent. They just make our
lives hell and put us through the emotional wringer."
Mina sighed. "Well that's just great. Can't we just be cute, same
as always?"
"Sorry, orders are do a serious type fanfic." Serena picked up the
nearest script. Let's see, 'Pulp Moon' ..." She skimmed through it.
"... we confront two hitman and while we're doing our intro speeches they
shoot us all in the head. That's not gratuitous violence?"
Ami frowned. "Funny, I've programmed my visor with profession critic
parameters. Wonder how it missed this one. Although those hitman do have
a certain wit."
"Come on, Look at this dialogue; 'Does Queen Beryl look like a bitch?'
'Yes.'
'Oh yeah, she does, don't she. Take
over Vinnie.'
"Next!"
Ami looked back at the script she'd picked up. "I think this one has
definite possibilites. The title's 'Childhood's End'. Let's check out
the ending ...
Sailor Moon gazed down at the sprawled figure who'd called herself
Mistress Nine. Her enemy stared back with pure malice. She snarled,
"You may have closed the gate but it's not over yet. I'll open another
one. Pharaoh 90 will bring silence to this world yet!"
Serena didn't answer. She simply reached down and pulled the limp
body upright. Mistress Nine's look of frustrated rage changed to
confusion. It was becoming panic as Serena slung the woman over her
shoulder and stalked down the battle damaged corridors of Infinity
Academy.
"I can't move!. What have you done to me?" The panic had spread
to Mistress Nine's voice.
Serena answered in an emotionless monotone. "My tiara hit you
between the first and second cervical vertebrae. Not hard enough to
kill you, just hard enough to paralyse you from the neck down. I asked
Amy the best way to cripple someone on our way over." She turned right
as Mistress Nine began screaming. When she'd merged with Hannah Tomoe
she'd become fused to this body. She was trapped in this crippled form
for the rest of her life.
Serena pushed open the double doors and nodded in satisfaction.
The school's pool was still full. The flooring was cracked, the roof
was gone and the water was full of debris but the pool itself was intact.
She eased the screaming woman from her shoulder and slid her into the
pool's shallow end. Mistress Nine became aware of her surroundings. She
tilted her head to look up at Sailor Moon.
"What are you doing?"
Serena knelt down on the pool's edge and placed a hand on her
enemy's hair. In the same monotone she said, "Drowning you."
"WHAT!"
"I was going to let you live out your life as a cripple. But I
thought it over and that's just not enough after all you've done."
"WAIT! Kill me and you kill Hannah Tomoe as well!"
Sailor Moon nodded. "That's the minor reason for doing this. Her
spirit's trapped in that body with you. She deserves better than that.
This is the only release I can give her."
"NO! You can't do this!" Mistress Nine felt the hand grip her
short hair in a grip of iron. Ignoring the pain she screamed, "WHY?
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!!"
Serena leaned down so she could whisper in the paralysed woman's
ear.
"Because I hate you." Her arm straightened and forced the head
underwater.
She ignored the frantic thrashing as Mistress Nine tried to wriggle
her head free from Serena's grip. Even if she did it wouldn't do her
much good as nothing below her neck worked. Serena watched the bubbles
rising and felt her victim's struggles become more frantic. After two
minutes there was a large bubble as Mistress Nine's lungs expelled their
stored air and sucked in water. The struggles lessened and ceased. She
didn't relax her grip. Five minutes passed. After ten she released the
hair she'd held so tightly and rose. She stared into the pool for a
moment then spat in the water. She was walking away when she heard
movement in the corridor.
Sailor Neptune limped in, "Sailor Moon? I've been looking for you."
Serena nodded curtly. "You found me."
That definitely didn't sound like the bubbly girl she'd come to
know. Well they'd all been through a lot. None of the survivors had
much in the way of innocence left. "I've finished mopping up. It's all
over."
"Not quite." Sailor Moon reached up and pulled the sceptre from
nowhere. At least nowhere visible to anyone else. She pointed it at the
pool, Neptune could see something floating ...
"MOON HEALING ANNIHILATION!" The object exploded as the beam hit it
and the pool erupted in a spray of red tinged water.
Sailor Moon lowered her arm and the sceptre vanished. "Now it's
over." Her tone was final. Neptune nodded and lead her back to the
main lobby.
Amy looked up as they arrived. She had an open first aid kit at her
feet and was finishing dressing the wound on her arm.
"Serena, are you all right?"
"I don't know." She glanced around the shattered hall. "Where's
Pluto?"
"She vanished after the portal disappeared. Said the timeline was
broken and we'd have to make our own destiny from now on."
Sailor Moon sighed. "So it's just the three of us left to defend
the world. It'll have to be enough."
Neptune nodded. "We'll survive. United there's nothing we can't
do." She took Serena's hand
Amy nodded and placed her hand on top of Serena's and Michele's.
"Until the end of the world."
Serena sighed, "That's what I'm afraid of."
End
"Wow, real intense! But who's Hannah?" Amy put the script down and
turned to Lita.
"I guess it's the americanized version of Hotaru aka Sailor Saturn.
And right at the end Michele must be Michiru, Sailor Neptune."
Serena was looking puzzled (what else is new), "Who the heck is
Mistress Nine and what was all that about?"
"Read the Sailor Moon S synopsis."
"Okely Dokely"
While Serena scanned through the webpages again Lita asked, "Three
left? What happened to the rest of us?"
Amy flipped back. "Let's see, Uranus dies during the assault on the
Academy, you and Raye get killed by diamons (whatever exactly they are)
earlier on and Mina ..." She stopped at a page and read it quickly with a
look of distaste. "My that's nasty. No wonder Serena went over the
edge."
"Give me that!" Mina snatched the script and quickly read through
it. Then she turned very pale. "No way. Forget it. We are not doing
that one."
"Come on. Be a sport."
"Not a chance!"
While all this was going on the TV behind the bar continued to burble
on. On the screen a reporter interviewed Rubeus in front of the smoking
remains of the white house.
"So you see, Nancy, it occurred to me that I didn't have to keep
messing with Tokyo. All I had to do to destroy the timeline was do
something that wasn't in the history books."
"So you blew up the White House?"
"That's right. And I'd like to thank the makers of 'Independance
Day' for the inspiration. Credit where credit is due." There was a beep,
Reubus frowned and pulled out a small device. At his touch it hummed and
projected an image of Wiseman.
"Rubeus if you are hearing this message than you have succeeded in
your mission." Rubeus grinned. "Of course you have also destroyed your
personal timeline as well ..."
"WHAT?"
"In the new timeline if there is a Rubeus he will have no contact
with Crystal Tokyo, as it never existed, and so be a different person from
you ..."
"Wait a minute!"
"We'd like to thank you for your efforts even if we don't remember
them as they didn't happen in our timeline. Enclosed in this box is a
medal for first degree chronocide." The box unsealed. "PS you're safe as
long as you stay in your new space/time location but if you use the time
machine paradox forces will erase you from existence."
Rubeus looked straight at the camera. "Doh!"
"Another victim of temporal mechanics. Back to you in the studio,
Janice."
"Thank you, Nancy. FOX pictures issued a statement denying their
movie is responsible for inspiring marauding aliens to blow up the White
House. However they are still being sued by everyone who had relatives in
the White House at the time. In a related story the destruction of the
White House and loss of the President is being cheered by both the
Republican and Democratic Parties."
Unnoticed by the counterman the Rini soda cannister blinked out of
existence as the time paradox erased it. At the table Raye frowned at her
empty glass. She'd been sure she hadn't drunk the whole thing, also she
suddenly felt thirsty again.
"So what's the next possibility?"
Mina slapped a script on the table. "This one's called 'Collateral
Damage', it could be a real heartbreaker."
Serena groaned, "Great, that means I die or Rini does!"
"Who?"
"Uhh you know ... that thing that was always hanging around annoying
me."
"Darien?"
"No you idiot the ... you know ... thingy ..." She trailed off
uncertainly.
"What are you talking about?"
"I forget. So what's the story?"
"OK we have a fight with some generic type monsters. We're wasting
them without much trouble but this little kid wanders into the area. When
you're using the Moon Sceptre on the boss monster the kid gets caught in
the blast and dies. You fall apart and we all try to tell you it's not
your fault. Then you announce you'll use the crystal to bring him back.
We try to talk you out of it as that'll kill you. You refuse to listen
and then put up a forceshield around yourself when we try to stop you.
Let's pick up from there ...
Serena felt the first wave of weakness strike her. The crystal
could do almost anything the wielder desired, even raise the dead, but it
had a price. She could feel it draining her lifeforce even as her gaze
shifted from the world around her to the spirit realm. She could see it
overlaying the material world. There was a white humanoid form huddled
next to the child's broken body. It seemed to be trying to hang on to
it but something was pulling it away. It wailed in fear as the ghost
wind tugged at it. So this was what a soul looked like. Were they all
this bright or was that only how the innocent looked?
He was losing his grip on his body and screaming in fear. Then he
seemed to see her and gazed in awe. Perhaps he thought he saw an angel.
The wind seemed to cease and he stood staring at her. Caught somewhere
between fear and worship he stood frozen. Serena ignored the growing
weariness and reached out to him.
"Don't be afraid." For a moment he flinched away. Then, shyly,
he reached his ghostly hand towards her flesh and blood one. Serena
could see almost nothing of the material world now. Their fingers were
about to touch. Faintly she heard a cry of, "mars fire ignite" but the
whisper meant nothing to her.
Then everything seemed to explode into light. The silent explosion
flung the child away and the spirit world blinked out. The energy of the
Silver Crystal whipped around seeking the object it had focused on. Not
finding it the power fed back into Serena's body. Her strength and
normal vision returned and again she saw the others through the haze of
the forceshield she'd raised.
The boy's body was gone. The breeze was already dispersing the ash
that remained. In a flash of realization she knew what had happened.
With the body gone there was nothing to return the child to. Contact
had been broken by its destruction. Which meant ...
"RAYE! What have you done?" It wasn't possible. How could Raye
betray her like this? Her shield blinked out as grief overwhelmed her.
There were tears in Raye's eyes but she stood tall and proud. "I
did what I had to. Serena you're too important to sacrifice yourself
over a child. Even, god help me, over a hundred children. Too important
to the world but I'd be lying if I said that was my main reason. You're
too important to me for me to let you throw your life away."
"Serena it wasn't your fault he died. It was just a terrible
accident. Throwing your life away to make amends is wrong."
"I wasn't throwing it away. He'd be alive again right now if you
hadn't interfered."
"Serena, it had to be this way." Both of them were near tears
now. Serena rallied herself to keep going.
"He was just a child. His whole life was ahead of him. It wasn't
fair!"
"Life isn't fair Serena." Raye choked down a sob. "I know I've
lost your friendship by doing this but I had to save you. Perhaps you'll
understand that someday. And perhaps, just perhaps, someday you'll
forgive me." Raye wiped her eyes and bowed. "I will always be there to
protect you, my Princess." Then she turned and marched away. Serena
watched Sailor Mars dwindle into the distance then turned to Ami, Lita
and Mina. They stood clumped together and stared at the ground.
"HOW COULD YOU LET HER DO THIS!", she screamed at them. "WHY DIDN'T
YOU STOP HER?"
They bowed their heads and turned away from her. That was when she
knew that they'd all planned to do it. But Raye had been the fastest.
Sailor Moon, Princess of the Moon, future Queen of Crystal Tokyo
and wielder of the Silver Crystal slumped down in the dust and watched
the last few ashes blow away. Then she started to sob and began to bawl
like a child.
Mourning the death of both innocence and friendship
End.
"Great. Well I feel like slitting my wrists now. This could get us
stuck with a lot of lawsuits!"
"Is there such a thing as fanfic inspired suicide?"
Ami nodded. "Definitely a change from our usual upbeat stuff."
Raye was scowlng. "Why do I get stuck being the heavy?"
Serena was looking very unhappy. "Maybe we could cop out. Have
that Sailor Pluto person show up and announce the kid would have been the
next Hitler. Or do a scene with the kid's ghost showing up and forgiving
everyone."
"That spoils the whole point of the story?"
"Which is?"
"Life ain't fair. Shit happens."
"Yeah right. Like anyone out there doesn't already know that.
"Enough philosophy, let's see if we can find something serious but
not depressing."
"Good luck. Around here serious means depressing."
Meanwhile over at the Dark King... the Negaversian Renegades' table
Azurcite had just realized something.
"Hey, I'm still wearing my scout costume."
Calflyte looked apprehensive. "The writer must have forgotten about
us. We'd better sneak out before he remembers about us and pulls some
weird shit on us!"
But it was too late for that. Suddenly the geekified Fyrite had a
burst of inspiration. "Hey since this don't affect out regular continuity
(or anything outside this story) how about I sleep with your sister?"
Tyfranite slammed a punch into her cousin's stomach. As he doubled
over she seized the back of his head and slammed his face into the table
creating an indent. Then she pushed him back upright. "Yeah Ok, why
not?"
"What did you say Ty?" In case you're wondering that was Calflyte,
Fyrite was now out of action.
"I said sure. I'm sick of being the good girl type all the time."
"Then why'd you beat him up?"
"This is a serious story. It needs sex and violence. That was the
former, I'll take care of the latter when he wakes up." With that
Tyfranite seized her cousin's ankles and began hauling him away. There
was a regular thumping as she dragged his back and head along the floor.
"That's a radical change."
Calfryte nodded, "I'll say. Say I hope she remembers to catch the
door before ... " There came the crunch of a skull getting caught between
swinging door and jamb. Both of them winced.
"By the way Cal I found a serious script for the non-parody versions
of us. 'Thy Kingdom Come'. It's a joke right?"
"Afraid not. So don't do any spoilers."
"Geez, that's all we need. By the way you did know your hand's on my
thigh?"
"Really! Now when did that happen?"
"About ten minutes ago."
"Oh ... sorry." Pause "I suppose I should move it then."
"Normally yes but since this story doesn't impact our regular
continuity and as there's no sign of ..." She consulted the new names
list, " ... uhm, Margarine ... well, why don't the two of us finally get
it on?"
Calflyte thought about the serious implications of this. At least
for as long as the average guy is going to ponder the implications after
being propositioned by a beautiful, underdressed and willing woman. It
took him about ten seconds to dash to the cash register, toss money at the
counterman, grab Azurcite and teleport to the nearest hotel.
The author congratulated himself on cleverly phasing out the injoke
while hopefully distracting readers from the fact he had no plot except
the Scouts sitting around a soda shop complaining about life. What the
hell, it worked in the sitcoms.
Meanwhile the Scouts were still sorting through the script pile and
grumbling that none of them were any good. Then Lita starting waving one.
"Hey this one's sorta cool."
"So what's it this time? Longlost relatives or reincarnations of
them?" Raye was getting sick of wading through this crap. Maybe she'd
been too hasty in ditching the naughty tentacle script.
"It's call 'Moonlight Revenge'. And it's actually relevant to those
quotes back at the start."
"What? You mean, 'Shut the f...'"
"NO! I mean the first two. Guess the proofreader gave up before he
got this far."
"Can't blame him, this things a godawful mess of grim stuff and bad
jokes."
"Quiet, you'll scare off the readers."
"Good."
Lita slammed a fist into the table. "EVERYONE SHUT UP OR I'LL KILL
YOU ALL!" Sudden dead silence. "Good. Ok the idea is this, Serena
intervenes in a mugging as Sailor Moon. This starts her on a crime
fighting kick as the Negaverse is all quiet. I join up with her but the
rest of you stay out of it, saying that's not why we have our powers.
Anyway we start fighting nastier and more brutal criminals. Before long
we're no longing beating them up and handing them over to the police. We
start really hurting people, but no one who isn't scum. Then we start
using the same methods we use on the negatrash. After all these people
are as bad as them or even worse as they weren't born in a world which
values evil. The rest of you agonize over the moral issues. Meanwhile we
start getting lethal with lesser criminals and you finally decide we're
out of control. So you set out to stop us ...
The huntress eyed her city with a feeling of satisfaction. People
could truly feel secure now that she was here protecting them. Why had
it taken her so long to understand that she was ignoring her true
responsibilities? No matter, she was doing what she had to now. If only
the others would realize this. It was lonely with just her and Lita.
She suppressed a yawn. Even scouts need some sleep, they can't keep
going forever. Time to call it a night. She was preparing to head home
when she heard the scream.
Instantly she looked for the source. With her Scout senses she
could hear a pin drop a mile away. There! She launched herself
towards the source.
The man held a knife to the terrified woman's throat and chuckled.
Then stopped and whirled to confront the figure who'd landed in the mouth
of the alley. She silently chided herself for making a noisy entrance
than planned as she spoke.
"Guess you don't read the papers. There's a new kind of justice on
the streets. It's name is Sailor Moon and I will punish you and all the
others who prey on the innocent!"
The man dropped his knife but faced her unafraid. Behind him his
victim stood up. Light wrapped around both figures and their outlines
shifted. Then the auras faded and Sailors Mars and Mercury faced her.
Both held disguise pens.
"Cute. You could have just called me on the communicator if you
wanted to chat." No sign of Mina so this wasn't an ambush.
"Serena, it's time to end this madness."
"Raye's right. You're completely out of control."
"We've already had this conversation. Our mission is to fight
against evil. That doesn't end with monsters. Amy you're a lot smarter
than me. You know that people have committed more terrible things on
mankind than all the monsters of the Negaverse combined."
"I ... can't deny that Serena. But this is wrong. You're abusing
your powers! You're killing people."
"I'm not killing anyone who doesn't deserve it. Hell, they're more
deserving than the Negaslime. At least the Negaversians were born evil.
These people chose to become scum. You didn't complain when we killed
the Negatrash, why change your tune now?"
"It was easy when they looked like monsters. I ... I don't know if
I can kill anything anymore. But Serena this is wrong. The whole city's
afraid of you!"
"Only the guilty need to fear me ..."
Raye broke in, "Meatball head you've totally lost your mind."
"Crime is down 50% citywide ..."
"Because everyone's terrified of you. You and Lita are both nuts!"
Everyone had seen pictures of the bodies. Criminals caught in the act
were turning up cut in half, electrocuted or almost totally vaporized.
Serena had learned to be careful with the moon sceptre. Initially she'd
used it to totally vaporize criminals until Lita pointed out that didn't
leave anything as a warning. For all anyone knew the vaporizee might
just have gone on vacation. So she'd learned to leave fingers or faces
for identification purposes.
Serena sighed. "Raye, both of you swore loyalty to me. Why are you
betraying me like this? I am your Princess and you owe me fealty."
"You're not the Serena I swore to always protect!"
"I know I have changed but as Amy once told me life is change. You
both know the future. You know that someday I will sit in judgement over
the whole world. How can I do that if I stay the same airheaded crybaby
I once was?"
"Enough talking! Change back to plain old Serena, give me your
locket and go home to a normal life!"
"Or?"
"Or we'll have to take it." Ami nodded decisively.
Serena's eyes narrowed. "This is my birthright. No one but me
will ever control it."
Raye matched her glare. "Then it's war between us." She nodded
slightly.
"MERCURY BUBBLES!" The fog filled the alley and Ami activated her
visor. She was now the only one who could see. She'd simply charge
Serena, remove the locket and let her untransform. Perhaps someday she'd
be under control and they could return it. But where was Serena? The
only one she could see was Raye. She caught a glimpse of motion to her
right then screamed in pain.
As soon as Mercury shouted Serena had leapt backwards out of the
alley. In midair she'd acted automatically. "MOON TIARA ACTION!" It
surged forward, ricocheting from the alley's walls. As she landed she
realized what she'd done. She was raising her hand to recall it when she
heard the cry.
The tiara flew from the alley and returned to her hand. It felt
sticky. The fog within was thinning rapidly. Raye clutched a graze on
her arm then saw the huddled form on the ground. Sailor Mercury lay
sprawled in a growing puddle of red.
"AMI!" She rushed to her friend's side. She pulled Ami onto her
side and saw the gaping wound. Ami's features were slack and lifeless.
Her eyes clouded and she began to weep.
From behind her she heard, "I didn't mean to ... I just reacted ...
she shouldn't have tried to stop me."
Raye's grief exploded into rage. "You lousy bitch she died because
she wanted to save you from yourself! I swear she's your last victim!
"MARS FIRE IGNITE!"
The fireball burned through the space Sailor Moon had occupied.
Raye had a startled moment to wonder when she'd gotten so fast before
the blur was on her. The moon sceptre had been designed as an energy
weapon rather than a club but it served well enough. Raye's head seemed
to explode. Then it flared again as something slammed it against the
nearest alleywall.
Raye's vision cleared enough for her to see a wavering figure she
could just make out as Serena. Something held her throat in a grip of
steel. She weakly reached up and touched an arm. She couldn't see the
tears in Serena's eyes. "Damn you Raye. You made me kill Amy! She
wouldn't even have been here if not for you. How could you do this to
her!" Serena felt her rage build. "This is it Raye! I can't let you
get anyone else killed fighting me. Swear you'll follow me or I'll make
sure you never interfere again!"
Raye managed to whisper. "Murderer! This is all your fault. I
swear whatever it takes I will bring you down."
"So be it." Raye felt Serena's grip tighten then heard something
crack before the darkness rushed in to submerge her.
Serena released her hold and let the body slump to the ground. Then
she sat down in the alley and wept for both her friends.
"Yo, Sailor Moon." The voice penetrated her misery. She saw
Jupiter coming in for a landing with something slung over her back. Then
Lita took in the scene and her grin vanished. "Oh geez ... Serena ..."
"They attacked me ... I had no choice ... I reacted without
thinking!" She began to cry again. After a minute she realized Lita was
holding her.
"It's all right. It was an accident. They shouldn't have
interfered with you. I understand. I'm always here to help you." The
steady whisper soothed her. Serena straightened up then wiped her eyes
and blew her nose on her costume's ribbon.
"Remind me to bring tissues from now on." It was a fairly shaky
joke but both of them laughed. Serena was about to ask Lita why she'd
come looking for her when she saw Lita's former burden squirming on the
alley paving. Mina was practically mummified in chain. Uncertain what
it would take to hold a Scout Lita had erred on the side of caution.
"I had a run in with Venus. She was on her way here to help the ...
the others steal your locket."
"I see." She knelt down at Mina's side and looked into her
former comrades face. Mina's features were locked into a mix of grief
and fear. She wanted to cry but was terrified of what Serena might do.
"Mina ...", Serena's voice was gentle, "... you have a choice to
make. I want you to join us. If you don't ... well I can't let someone
with your power oppose us. Do you understand?"
Mina's throat felt dry. "You could let me change back then take my
pen. Stuck as human I'm no threat to you."
Serena shook her head and Mina felt her terror grow. "I'm sorry but
that's not good enough. Artemis is still at large. He could give you
another. Besides you know far too much about us. We're passed the point
of no return Mina. You're either with us or against us." Lita nodded.
Mina swallowed with difficulty. She was 15 years old and (was she a
coward?) she didn't want to die. Not helpless and at the hands of her
former friends. "I understand. I swear to follow you now and forever."
Serena looked satisfied. "That's good. But if you ever break your
word ..."
"I won't." Serena looked into her fear filled face and saw the
truth. She nodded to Lita. "You can unchain her." Lita seemed about to
protest but did as she was ordered. Serena helped Mina to her feet.
"Welcome back." Mina didn't trust her voice so she just bowed.
Lita broke the silence. "What about Darrien?"
Serena seemed on the verge of tears for a moment. She shook them
away. "He's not happy with what we're doing but he won't oppose me. We
will never fight each other. In time he'll understand ... after all we
are destined to be together. Anyway Mina, welcome to the new and
improved Sailor Scouts!"
Mina joined hands with the others and matched their smiles. But her
gaze flicked to Amy and Raye and all she could think of was how much she
wanted to scream.
End.
"HOLD IT! The turtle over there not only manages to outmanoeuvre me
but breaks my neck? You gotta be kidding!"
"Yeah and since when am I such a coward? What do you think Amy?"
"Well that was certainly depressing."
"You're not kidding. Still it should appeal to the cynics who figure
power is bound to be abused."
"So why are they reading fiction. Don't they get enough of that in
the newspapers?"
"It's the old urge to jump up and down shrieking, 'There you see, I
was right.'"
"So you get to be right, so what? Everything's still a mess."
"Sure but it's easier than fixing things."
"Hey we're sounding kind of serious ourselves."
"Guess these scripts are rubbing off on us. By the way who's talking
anyway?"
Lita put down her latest script and commented, "Y'know this hasn't
been much of a dark adventure so far. Only villain to show up was Jedite
and someone else toasted him. We haven't even transformed yet. By the
way I liked the last story. I got to run around zapping criminals. I
could get used to that, I'd make a great action hero! I just need a few
snappy one liners while killing people. Let's see ..."
Her voice suddenly acquired an Austrian accent, "How'd you like a
shock? ... I light up your life ... let's make this an electric chair ...
I'm reVolting ..." Mina edged away as she noticed a disturbing glint in
Lita's eye.
Amy whispered to Raye, "Sexual tension. Soon as she stops repressing
herself she'll lose these violent impulses."
"Would you shut up before you get us both fried."
Oblivious to this Lita kept on trying to sound witty while killing
people. Everyone else decided to ignore her and try to decide which was
the least painful of these crappy scripts.
Serena shrugged, "I vote for 'Childhood's End'. It's a great chance
to show my acting talents as the tormented Sailor Moon driven to cold
blooded murder.
"You do that in the last one as well!"
"Yeah but I rationalize it away there. 'sides that's hot blooded
murder."
Raye snorted. "Forget it I don't get through either of those alive.
I vote for 'Collateral Damage'. I'm sort of the badguy but at least we
all survive it!"
Mina said, "I vote for anything except 'Childhood's End'." She
remembered her fate and shivered.
Ami shrugged. "Who cares? It's only a story."
"I want 'Moonlight Revenge'"
"Yeah, yeah, we know. But you're the only one Lita."
"I said we're doing, 'Moonlight Revenge'!"
"Says who?"
"Says me!"
"'Collateral Damage'!"
"'Childhood's End'!"
"'Moonlight Revenge'!"
"Who cares?"
The bickering continued until the manager called over, "Yo girls,
you're gonna have to leave."
"WHAT!"
He pointed to the tall, dark, handsome guy who'd just walked in.
"This guy has the place booked for an anime cast reunion party. They get
together here once a year. Like the ambience for some reason."
Several of the scouts were drooling over the newcomer. "Hey, we're
anime stars too. Well around here we're cartoon stars."
"Really?" He smiled. "Well if you'd like to stick around my friends
and I would love for you to join us." As they chorused their thanks and
forgot about the scripts he turned away momentarily. None of the scouts
caught his smile or the red light that appeared in his eyes.
But then they never do, do they?
The manager left in a hurry as the nonhuman cast members of
Urotsuidoji, Angel of Darkness, La Blue Girl and Flare walked, stalked,
flew, crawled and slithered towards the soda shop. Which ties in neatly
with Raye's prediction back at the start. And you thought I'd forgotten
all about it, didn't you?
Authors won't wait forever for characters to make up their minds.
At any rate what followed will have to be described by someone with a
sicker imagination than mine. I am outta here.
Endsville
******************************************************************************
Probably the weirdest thing I've ever written. A product of several slow
days at work, insufficent sleep and a lack of reading materials. Don't
worry I'm not planning to inflict full length versions of any of those
stories on you. Those were just experiments in how easy it is to write
excessively angst ridden Sailor Moon. Frankly I prefer stories with a bit
of fun in them. Still to each his, her or its own.
Almost forgot, original Sailor Moon Cast created by Naoka Takeuchi.
Characters rewritten and renamed by DiC Entertainment. Please don't sue
me.
Mark Latus
Sept. 11 1996