Yes, it's called the Nameless Sequel. Beeeeeeedah. Since I have only a
vague idea of where I'm going with these things, names are hard to come up
with. Besides, most of the good ones have already been taken. ;)
This won't make much sense if you haven't read The Varaiyah Cycle. Good
thing I posted the Cycle all this week, huh? :)
Enjoy. C&C is very, very, very much requested.
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_ / \ _ (___ __) | |
| |\_/ / ` (___ __) |_|
| `--. / /_ .--` '-. =======
`---. |/ ) | .-. ._ \ .---.
.---' / /-. `-. `-' | `' (_.-. | The Nameless Sequel
`----'`-' `---'`---' .'.'
.'.'_
(_____)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
---,-'-{@ The Nameless Sequel was composed by Mike Loader. @}-'-,---
Characters and Backstory are the products and property of the illustrious
Rumiko Takahashi (as if you didn't know). Ranma=Her's, okay? Good.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
A SPECIAL NOTE TO OUR TEXAN READERS: No part of the state of Texas is
portrayed in this fic. Me no Alamo, guys.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
(Lights come on upon a empty stage. A gong sounds, and an
assortment of people troops in.)
Ranma and Ryoga: The threatened cloud has passed away,
Akane and Ukyo: And brightly shines the dawning day;
Tsung and Saburo: What though the night may come too soon,
Shampoo and Kodachi: There's yet a month of afternoon!
Kuno, Kasumi, and Tofu: Then let the throng
Genma, Soun, and Hasigawa: Our joy advance,
Nabiki: With laughing song
All: And merry dance.
(They glare at each other, bow to the audience, and stalk off.)
EPISODE 1 - A Suitable Case For Treatment
(We open on a business complex in Nerima. The camera pans
inside, stopping before a door labeled, "Dr. Hasigawa, Psychiatric
Therapy". Inside, Ukyo is lying on a couch talking to a elderly man
in steel-rimmed glasses.)
Ukyo: (depressed voice) And then he just walked away. Right in
the middle of my "Oh thank you for saving me" speech. To check
on Akane. (her voice grows bitter) Always Akane.
(Flashback to the end of Nameless 8)
Ranma: (addressing the room) You, guards! Surrender, or the
Warlord dies!
(The guards think this over, and stop fighting. Ranma walks over
and unties Ukyo.)
Ukyo: Ranchan! I knew you'd come for me! I knew...
(She suddenly realizes that she's talking to his back; Ranma has
gone over to check on Akane.)
Ukyo: .....
Ranma: You okay, Akane?
(Flashback ends. The man in the glasses kindly hands Ukyo a hanky
to wipe her eyes with.)
Ukyo: I was the one being held prisoner! For all he knew I could
have been tortured, or ravished, or...or... He didn't even ask! Not
even a, "You okay?", or "Are you hurt?". He just cut the ropes, and
off he went. (pleading tone) Why, Dr. Hasigawa? Why didn't he
ask?
Hasigawa: (gently, slight Germanic accent) Why do you think?
Ukyo: (automatically) He was trying to impress Mr. Tendo with his
concern...
(Hasigawa shakes his head and presses a button on his desk,
causing an electrical jolt to run through the couch. Ukyo yelps and
leaps a little, then turns to glare at him.)
Ukyo: Is that really necessary?
Hasigawa: Now, now, do not try to change the subject. What is the
real reason Ranma went to check on Akane instead of you?
Ukyo: He loves her. (her eyes widen as she realizes what she just
said) No, that's not what I meant....
Hasigawa: Isn't it?
(Ukyo thinks for a bit, then sags.)
Ukyo: (low tone) I guess it is.
Hasigawa: (straightening) There's something I want you to try. I
want you to go on a date tomorrow.
Ukyo: (puzzled) Doctor, I've been trying to get a date with Ranchan
for quite a while now....
Hasigawa: Not with Ranma. With someone else. Find some nice boy,
go to a movie, have fun.
Ukyo: But...
Hasigawa: No buts. (sighs) Ukyo, you need to realize that this
Ranma is not the only eligible male in the world. Go on a date. If
nothing else, you'll probably get a free movie and a dinner out of
it.
Ukyo: (hesitantly) I suppose so....(her voice hardens) I will! I'll go
out, have a good time, and knock some lucky guy's socks off!
Hasigawa: Good. You've been making quite a bit of progress, Miss
Kuonji. Hopefully we won't see anything like the Incident With The
Poodles again. How did that turn out, by the way?
Ukyo: The judge let me off with a warning, and I had to pay for the
damaged chainsaw and garden hose.
Hasigawa: Well, that's all behind you. I think we're done for today.
Same time Thursday?
Ukyo: Sure.
(She stands, walks towards the door, and suddenly turns,
remembering something.)
Ukyo: Oh, Soun Tendo was going to stop by later today for his first
appointment.
Hasigawa: Tendo....ach ja, he called just before you came to
confirm. Thank you for recommending me.
Ukyo: (shaking her head) The man needs help, Doctor. I hope you
can give it to him. (her expression turns curious) By the way,
Doctor....which country were you born in? Switzerland? Germany?
Austria?
Hasigawa: (puzzled) In Japan, of course.
Ukyo: Then where were you raised?
Hasigawa: Osaka.
Ukyo: But your accent....
Hasigawa: Oh, that. That's from my mother.
Ukyo: Where was she from?
Hasigawa: Hokkaido.
Ukyo: Never mind.
(Scene changes to the Tendo living room. Ranma and Akane are
seated at the shogi board, playing a game. Judging from the smirk
on Akane's face and the amount of sweat on Ranma's brow, the
game isn't going well for him. Nabiki is artistically sprawled
across most of the sofa, reading the newspaper.)
Ranma: Um......there! (moves a piece) Ha! Whaddya say to that,
Akane?
Akane: (moving a piece) "I win" sounds like a good response. Care
for another game?
Nabiki: (looking up) You just started playing three turns ago!
Ranma, you have a true talent here. I've never seen anyone lose
with such poise, speed, and certainty.
Akane: (kindly) Don't worry about it, Ranma. You just need a bit of
practice.
Ranma: (muttering, embarrassed) I've bmnf plfsfing singhm wms
thmghf...
Nabiki: Come again?
Ranma: (louder) I've been playing since I was four.
Akane: (aback) Oh dear....well, you must not have played often,
then...
Ranma: (looking really embarrassed) Actually, me and Pop used to
play for two minutes every day after dinner, until we came here.
Akane: Well, that must be it. If you only played for about two
minutes, you must not have ever played any full games.
Ranma: They were all full games. Two minutes was all it took for
Pop to beat me.
Akane: You're joking. I don't think it's possible for someone to
lose that fast.....
Ranma: (morosely) That's right, rub it in...
Nabiki: (cheerfully) Don't take it so hard, Ranma. I lose all the
time at games like that, with one or two exceptions...
Akane: (snorts) Yeah. She always wins at Monopoly, and for some
reason she never seems to lose a game that she's bet money on.
Nabiki: (shrugging) Motivation is a wonderful thing....(Turns back
to the newspaper) Hmm. Looks like the dockworkers are still on
strike. They refuse to go back to work until someone gets rid of
that animal that's been prowling the docks.
(Ranma turns pale.)
Akane: (skeptically) It's been three weeks since they reported
that thing. Hasn't anyone tried to do something about it?
Nabiki: The police refuse to go anywhere near it, and the Army has
been saying that it's too small a problem for them to bother with,
and then turns around and insists that they aren't equipped with
heavy enough ordinance to deal with it. I believe that the whole
thing's been handed over to animal control.
Ranma: Just as long as that damn cat never comes within a mile
of me.
Akane: (scoldingly) You can't still think it's Felix, can you? That
kawaii little kitty? She wouldn't hurt a fly!
Ranma: (shudders) Tell that to Ryoga. You saw what it did to him,
on the ship...
Nabiki: (interrupting) Where is Ryoga, anyway? He hasn't tried to
kill you in days...
Ranma: He went on some sorta training journey. He's just too
scared of Felix and Kasumi to stay in Nerima right now.
Akane: (puzzled) Why on earth is he scared of Kasumi, anyway?
That makes even less sense that being scared of a cat.
Ranma: She _did_ almost kill me a few weeks ago, ya know....
Akane: Ranma, you know that wasn't her fault.
Nabiki: (shuddering) That's for sure. Trust me, it was like
becoming a whole different person. And she did apologize
afterwards....
Akane: Besides, Ryoga never even saw Kasumi while she was under
the tea's influence. Now, I could understand why P-chan would be
scared of her. That would make sense. But Ryoga...(she shakes her
head)
Nabiki: Perhaps P-chan is really Ryoga with a Jusenkyo curse.
Heck, that's it! Ranma probably knocked him in, which is why
Ryoga wants to kill him, and Ranma is keeping quiet about it
because he feels guilty.
(Silence. Ranma looks at Nabiki in horror, while Akane, her eyes
unreadable, stares at her sister.)
Ranma: Um....er, I can explain...
(Suddenly Nabiki and Akane break into peals of hysterical
laughter.)
Akane: (giggling) Good one, oneechan. Ryoga P-chan...(she starts
laughing again)
Nabiki: (wiping her eyes) And some people say I don't have a sense
of humor.
Ranma: (relieved) Uh, yeah. Haha! That was really, um, funny. Um.
Nabiki: (winking at him) Glad you enjoyed it so much.
(As Ranma gives her an uncertain look, Kasumi, clad in her usual
spotless apron, emerges from the kitchen with a plate of cookies.
The Happy-Kasumi expression is firmly in place, and grows
brighter as she sees the trio's eyes light up in anticipation.)
Kasumi: (placing the plate on the coffee table) Enjoy. Just make
sure you have room left for dinner.
(Ranma makes a quick grab for the cookies, and mutters his
thanks around a mouthful.)
Akane: Um, Oneechan, what will you be making tonight?
Kasumi: (brightening) I thought sweet and sour pork would...
(Akane, Nabiki, and Ranma groan in dismay.)
Ranma: Kasumi, *chew* your cooking's great and all, but this is
like the 23rd day in a row that you've *swallow* made some kind
of pig for dinner.
Kasumi: (smiling but puzzled) I thought you liked ham...
Nabiki: We do, and your food is always wonderful...
Ranma: ...and unlike Akane's, never becomes sentient...
(Akane absentmindedly punches him in the stomach, doubling him
over.)
Nabiki: (continuing) ...but there is such a thing as too much. We'd
just like a change.
Akane: Besides, it isn't always the best choice for a meal. Like
the time daddy had that friend of his over for dinner.
Kasumi: (puzzled) The glazed ham I made for them was very nice, I
thought...
Nabiki: (exasperated) Oneechan, the man was an ordained Rabbi.
Kasumi: (slightly crestfallen) Oh. Well, I suppose I could make
chicken tonight instead...
Akane: (politely) Could you? Please?
(Kasumi pauses for a second, then laughs.)
Kasumi: Of course I will. I have a few recipes for chicken that I've
wanted to try out for some time now, anyway.
Nabiki: Thanks, oneechan.
(Kasumi nods, and turn to face Ranma, who is lying folded over on
the floor clutching his stomach.)
Kasumi: (reprovingly) I'm glad you like my cookies, Ranma, but
you've got to learn to eat slower if you don't want to get
stomachaches.
(She starts to leave, then turns around.)
Kasumi: I'm going to run down to the store. Could you three make
sure Daddy leaves for his appointment with the doctor on time?
Nabiki: (sighing) Yeah, sure. Maybe we can even get Mr. Saotome to
walk him down there.
Kasumi: (brightening) Oh, what a good idea! Daddy's very nervous
about this, you know...
Akane: Trust me, we know. I have no idea why...
Nabiki: He needs it, though. I haven't seen him break down with
such frequency since mom...(she pauses)...well, he's been under a
lot of stress lately.
Kasumi: (clucking) He does worry so....well, have fun. Ranma,
there's a bottle of the pink stuff in the medicine cabinet if you
want.
Ranma: (gasping for air) Ungh....
(Scene changes to a empty stretch of concrete road leading
through a barren desert. The dry wind blows clouds of dust across
the plain, and the occasional ball of tumbleweed rolls past. The
camera pans further up the road, where a familiar looking fellow
in a yellow and black bandanna trudges onward.)
Ryoga: Must...find...water...
(He stops before a wooden sign, and bends down to read it. It says,
in large print, "WELCUM TOO BEUTIFULL MUCCAWINNA. POP.
2300(crossed out) 1823(crossed out) 1230 AN STILL GROWING!")
Ryoga: At last! A center of civilization in this benighted
wilderness of (he pulls out a map and checks it) Kyushu. (he
frowns) I didn't know Japan had any deserts.....
(He shrugs, and continues on his way. As he walks off, a large ball
of tumbleweed blows away, revealing another sign behind it. This
one reads, "DON'T LET THE SUN SET ON YER HEAD IN MUCCAWINNA,
(a long list of derogatory ethnic terms follows), OR ELSE.")
Ryoga: I wonder why the sign was in English......maybe there's an
American military base here.
(He crests a hill, and stops. The town of Muccawinna lies below,
boasting three brick buildings, two Model T's, and a few dozen
decrepit wooden structures in various states of collapse.)
Ryoga: (dubiously) Not much of a place...I'll just get a drink, ask
for directions, and be on my way. (his eyes harden) I shall conquer
my fear of Kasumi, defeat Ranma, and claim Akane! And then, I
shall get rid of that _thing_ roaming the docks! (he pauses) Well,
maybe not that. Mustn't get unrealistic. (he gets a dreamy look)
Akane will marry me, and we'll have lots of children, and a big
house.....
(He walks down the hill and enters the town proper. The locals,
dressed in overalls, jeans, denim, stetsons, and cowboy boots,
stare at him in a unfriendly fashion. Ryoga gives them all a polite
smile and a nod, and walks on. Passing an newspaper stand
showing the day's headline ("Lindbergh Lands in Paris!"), he stops
before an elderly man sitting on a bench.)
Ryoga: (politely, in English) Excuse me, sir. Do you know the way
to a place of refreshment?
Old Man: Whut? Whuzzat?
Ryoga: I'm sorry?
Old Man: Whut d'yew whant?
Ryoga: I'm looking for a place to get a drink.
(The old man deliberates for a while, popping a piece of tobacco in
his mouth and chewing it loudly and noisily while staring at him.
Finally, the man spits a stream of tobacco juice onto Ryoga's
shoes and points down the street.)
Old Man: Saloon's ovur thut way.
Ryoga: (stiffly) Thank you.
(He walks over to the indicated building, and enters. The buzz of
noise and raucous laughter in the bar cuts off as soon as he opens
the door, and the clientele slowly turn to stare at him. Undaunted,
Ryoga walks up to the bartender.)
Ryoga: One soda, please.
(The bartender just stares at him. Three locals get up from their
seats and walk over.)
Local 1: Yew ain't from around these parts, are yew, boy?
Local 2: Course he ain't, Jim-Bob. Heck, we know everyone in
taown, an we'da seen him long fore this. 'Less ocourse he's the
guy thut Joe-Ted's bin keeping locked up in the attic...
Local 1: Ah know, John-Tim, but yewr supposed tew ask them that.
It's parta the routine.
Local 3: Mah turn. (he turns back to Ryoga) We don't go fer yewr
kind round these parts.
Local 1: (admiringly) Thut wuz perfect, Jean-Claude. Beutiful
inflection, just the right hint o' menace, an uh wonderful looming
pose.
Local 3: Thank yew. I bin practising.
Ryoga: (politely) I liked it too.
(The three stare at him for a few seconds.)
Local 1: Wanna lynch him?
Local 2: Yup.
Local 3: Let's make it quick, though. Ah gots mah poetry reading in
half an hour.
Bartender: The rope's out back, boys. An bury the body this time,
ain't healthy tew just leave it lyin around.
(They close in on Ryoga, who looks puzzled.)
Ryoga: Did I do something wrong?
Local 2: Yew gonna squeal lak uh pig afore we git done wit you,
boy...
(Ryoga's eyes go hard, and the blue aura comes on.)
Ryoga: (quietly) Did you just call me a pig?
Local 1: Hell yeah! Yah know, he really duz look lak uh pig. Lookit
that face...
Local 3: An the shape uh him, jus lak uh porker...
Ryoga: (glowing) IT WAS A MISTAKE TO MAKE ME UNHAPPY!
(Switch to a hill outside the town. Two dour faced sheep ranchers
are staring down at the town with impassive expressions.)
Rancher 1: It's hot. Hot day.
(The other man considers this.)
Rancher 2: Yup.
Ryoga's Voice: (from a distance) Chaos Butterfly Weather Point!
(The sky, previously clear, suddenly fills with dark storm clouds.
A huge funnel cloud forms over the bar, and bolts of lightning
blast down upon the hapless structure.)
Rancher 2: Looks like rain.
Rancher 1: (after deliberation) Yup.
(With a thunderous roar, a aurora borealis style plasma discharge
blasts down into the bar, sending shockwaves blasting through the
town. When the dust clears, half the town has collapsed, and
Ryoga is standing in the middle of the wreckage of the bar,
untouched.)
Rancher 1: (spitting profoundly) Them aliens again.
Rancher 2: Third time this month.
Rancher 1: They took five of my sheep last time. Almost fergot to
pay, too.
Rancher 2: Was that Um-Gonxyt and his boys?
Rancher 1: Naw, it was Tfghxyyyt from the cloud nebula.
Rancher 2: (spitting) I don't do business with them cloud nebula
folks. Almost as bad as Californians.
Ryoga: (blinking) Whoops. Need to learn a bit of control.
Local 1: (blackened and pinned under a timber) Ah'll say...
Ryoga: Soon Ranma....you will fall, and Akane shall be mine!
MUAHAHAHAHA (he stops, looking a bit embarrassed) Um. Sorry.
(Scene changes to a room in the Kuno mansion. Kodachi and
Shampoo are seated in front of a Maj-Jongg board, playing a
game.)
Shampoo: Look at bright side, Ko-chan.
Kodachi: What bright side? Ranma's not attached to either of us,
Tendo and Kuonji are still sucking in air, and my brother has
stepped up his picture orders from that little blackmail artist,
Nabiki. Not to mention the homicidal cat-thing roaming the docks.
The expedition wasn't exactly a resounding success, dear.
Shampoo: Yes, but wrinkled pervert and lost guy gone.....have not
seen stupid Mousse for weeks, either. Peace and quiet a good
thing, no?
Kodachi: It's rather unusual, yes....Shampoo, can I ask you
something?
Shampoo: Shoot.
Kodachi: You're a reasonably intelligent, adaptable person. Why do
you talk like that?
Shampoo: (surprised) Like what?
Kodachi: In broken Japanese. I mean, you've been making the same
basic grammatical errors since we've met.
Shampoo: (puzzled) I talk perfect Japanese, Ko-chan. Bought tape
when first decided to come, practiced every day. Tape made by
Japanese firm, too.
Kodachi: (frowning) Can I hear it?
(Shampoo shrugs, and removes a cassette from her pocket.
Kodachi walks over to a stereo, inserts it, and hits play.)
Tape: (<> indicates Chinese) <Good afternoon, class. Here is your
lesson for today. "I would like to buy a basket of fruit."> "Me
want fruit basket." <"I'm afraid I don't know."> "Not know that"
<Please fondle my...>
(Kodachi turns the tape off. She looks upset.)
Kodachi: Cretins! They gave you a pidgin Japanese course!
Shampoo: (aback) You mean....that not formal Japanese?
Kodachi: No! It's stereotyped Chinese-Person-Trying-To-Speak-
Japanese speech! Didn't you ever wonder why none of the rest of
us spoke like that?
Shampoo: (dazed) I thought was local dialect or something....OH NO!
Kodachi: (concerned) What is it, dear?
Shampoo: (upset) Ranma! Ko-chan, he must think Shampoo is idiot!
Kodachi: No problem. I'll teach you myself.
Shampoo: (dubiously) You?
Kodachi: Me. I'm an excellent teacher. Watch. (snaps her fingers)
WALTER! Front and center!
(A servant scurries into the room.)
Servant: You called, Mistress Kuno?
Kodachi: Memorize the entire text of _The Tale of Genji_ by
tonight. Or else.
Servant: (turning pale) Yes, Mistress Kuno.
(He scurries off.)
Kodachi: He will, too. You just have to learn how to motivate
people. We'll have you speaking flawless Japanese before the week is out!
(The scene changes back to the Tendo living room. Akane, Nabiki,
and Genma are trying to get a sobbing Soun ready for his
appointment.)
Soun: (tearfully) You look after Akane now, Nabiki - make sure she
dresses warmly...
Nabiki: Daddy, it's the middle of summer, Akane can dress herself,
and you'll only be gone half an hour. Now pull yourself together.
Akane: (soothingly) You'll only be gone for a bit, and then you can
come right home, and Kasumi will make you dinner.
Soun: (snapping back to reality for a second) Not pork again, I
hope...
Genma: What's wrong with pork? Love it.
Nabiki: We had a talk with Kasumi, Daddy. She's making chicken
tonight.
Soun: Chicken....(he bursts into tears)
Akane (whispers to Nabiki) Don't mention chicken! It's one of his
sore points, remember?
Nabiki: (whispering back) It is?
Akane: (slightly annoyed) Yes! (pulls out about two dozen sheets of
paper and hands then to Nabiki) It's #723. Didn't you read this
month's list?
Nabiki: (abashed) Sorry.
Genma: (slapping Soun roughly on the back) Buck up, Tendo-kun.
We'll go see this shrink, then go get blasted.
Soun: (brightening) Okay...
(The two leave. Akane turns to Nabiki, looking serious.)
Akane: I've never seen him this bad, Nabiki. He breaks down crying
at the slightest little things, he's overprotective, he almost never
leaves the dojo anymore...
Nabiki: (sadly) He was worse right after we lost mom...you were
too young to really understand...he would just practice katas over
and over, then suddenly run to see if we were all right, almost
hysterical. You and Kasumi brought him out of it eventually...you
still needed him, and Kasumi just kept everything running and
acted like everything would be okay...(her voice breaks for a
second)...and I kept the place afloat financially.
(The two sit in silence for a moment.)
Akane: But why has he been going downhill?
Nabiki: That's what I hope the doctor will be able to tell us. My
own guess is that the parade of kidnappings, homicidal suitors,
and dangers to us has something to do with it. Let's face it, that
kind of thing would make any father a bit paranoid.
Akane: (grimacing) It's no fun from my standpoint either.
Nabiki: (poking Akane playfully) Just think of it as flattery.
(Scene changes to Ukyo's tiny apartment in back of Ucchan's. Ukyo
is sitting in the overstuffed chair, going over a ledger.)
Ukyo: (tossing it down) A date. I need a date. Who do I know who's
male and single?
(She leans back and folds her hands, thinking.)
Ukyo: Kuno? He's cute, but he's got an ego the size of the US
national debt. No. Ryoga? Out of town, and I believe I'd rather rub
lemon juice in a cut than date him. Tsubasa? (she breaks into
hysterical laughter) Right. Mousse? Nice, if slightly goofy, but I'd
never get him to go along with it as long as he still thinks he has
a chance with Shampoo. Gosunkugi? (she shudders) That's a
definite no. Keiichi? Wrong series. Hmm. This might be harder
than I thought....
(Scene changes to the Great Hall in Varaiyah. Tsung, looking lordly
and disinterested, is sitting on the ornate throne. Suddenly, a
disembodied tinkling, as if many small bells were ringing, echos
through the hall. The courtiers and servants look around
fearfully.)
Servant: What is that noise? A spirit? A demon?
(Tsung removes a cell phone from his robes and snaps it open. The
hall gives a sign of relief.)
Tsung: You have reached His Dread Potentness, the Warlord of
Varaiyah. Who has the privilege of speaking with Us?
Phone: (hesitantly) Hi...you probably don't remember, but you held
me prisoner and threatened me with torture unless I became your
concubine a few weeks back...anyway, what are you doing next
Saturday?
END OF EPISODE 1
Next - EPISODE 2 - Opportunity Breaks Down The Door.
C&C is good. Very good. Write C&C. :)
Special thanks to Travis Butler.
Fnord.