Any C&C welcome
Terry "The Human Mellotron" Marks
normal@grove.ufl.edu
[Note: I'm not saying who owns the copyright, just to see if
I'll get an irate call from lawyers or not. Oh..and there's
no explanation for why Soun is so wacky, I just think he's too
cool to be played straight. The Entomorph gets credit as
creative consultant or something similar.]
@STORY: Dizzy Japan part 1 of 2
[Dinnertime. Tendo's. Ranma sitting on floor, watching
television news. Nabiki walks in, and, ignoring Ranma
entirely, changes the channel to some low-quality game show.
Kasumi, Akane, Genma and Soun are out of the room]
Ranma: Hey! What'd ya do that for?
Nabiki: It's fun to see the things that stupid people will do
for money.
Ranma: (agitated) I was watching that.
Nabiki: Your point being?
Ranma: When someone is watching television, you don't go
around switching their program.
Nabiki: Yes I do.
Ranma: Well you shouldn't.
Nabiki: What's the big deal. It's only television.
Ranma: They were talking about tornados.
Nabiki: Do you expect me to sit around and watch a
documentary? I did weather last year in school. I don't need
to sit through it again.
Ranma: No! They were talking about tornadoes here.
[On TV, we see Contestant Number 3 guess 'Q' in
TH_ __N WHO WOUL_D __ KING]
Nabiki: Tornadoes in Japan? You're almost as bad as that
contestant.
Ranma: (not paying attention to TV) Huh...what?
Nabiki: You were saying something about tornadoes in Japan?
Ranma: Yes.
Nabiki: There are no tornadoes in
[Akane walks into the room from outside]
Akane: You know..it's getting really windy out there..
Ranma: I didn't hear you come in.
Akane: Oh. Looks like I'm getting better at sneaking, then.
Ranma: (accusingly) Been training? Or does sneaking around
run in the family?
[Kasumi taps Ranma on the shoulder]
Kasumi: Maybe you haven't been paying close enough attention
to your surroundings.
[Ranma is startled and runs out of the room. Kasumi looks
slightly puzzled, but walks back to the kitchen.]
Akane: You know...maybe it isn't just him.
Nabiki: Maybe it's the rest of the world?
Akane: Do you hear a low roar in the background?
Nabiki: Tree falling in woods? One hand clapping?
Akane: I'm serious.
[Soun enters]
Soun: Hey..aren't you going to be late for school?
Ranma: (from another room) I heard you go into that room.
[Soun looks puzzled for a moment, but figures that it's just a
Ranma thing.]
Akane: We have today off. Miss Takino had this idea..
Soun: Another bomb?
Akane: She didn't give much for details, but it sounds like it.
Soun: crazy witch...
[Kasumi and Ryouga enter from the hallway.]
Kasumi: There was quite a storm outside. I let Ryouga in. He
was wandering around in the backyard again.
Ryouga: I'll be fine, honest. I don't mind a little wind.
Akane: Are you sure? It looks more like a full-strength gale.
Ryouga: I've faced worse.
Kasumi: And a nasty rainstorm too.
Ryouga: (pales) Umm....maybe I could stay here for a while.
Akane: You're almost as bad about rain as Ranma is. You'd
think you had a curse or something.
[Ryouga's eyes glaze over. He has fainted but remains
standing. There's an uncomfortable silence for a moment, then
Akane notices Ryouga's condition]
Akane: Are you all right?
Ryouga: (feeling slightly giddy over the fact that Akane is
paying any attention at all to him) Yes..I'm fine [faints
again. This time he hits the ground]
Akane: Maybe we ought to take him to Dr. Tofu
[Ryouga snaps to attention and waffles around trying to think
of some excuse not to go outside]
Nabiki: It's not a good idea to drive around in this weather.
[Ryouga relaxes slightly]
Kasumi: I'll take him once this storm clears up.
Akane: Drive? I didn't know that we had a car.
Nabiki: Akane, there is *so* much that you don't know about
around here.
Kasumi: Nabiki, that was uncalled for.
[Ranma enters the room]
Ranma: It rains a lot, but this is ridiculous.
Nabiki: Doesn't look so much like a storm as a tornado.
Akane: How can you be sure?
Nabiki: Had to do some report on weather last year. I know
from tornadoes.
Ranma: Tornadoes?
[Ranma does that same sort of standing faint trick. Akane
shakes him out of it]
Akane: What's wrong?
Ranma: When i was little, Dad would always try and teach me new
techniques...
Akane: Like cat-fu?
Ranma: Exactly. One day he took me to the Tornado Training
Grounds. He made me go into a cabin and stay there alone for a
week, I didn't know why at the time..
Akane: so what happened?
Ranma: The last night I was there, a giant tornado ripped
everthing to shreds. I barely made it out alive!
Soun: I thought it was a little tornado. You were found the
next day crying your eyes out. Genma said that it wasnt even
strong enough...
Ranma: Shut up!! Where did you come from anyways??
Soun: You said you heard me come in.
Nabiki: Maybe he didn't really mean it.
Ranma: I meant it. I just forgot.
[Genma enters the room]
Genma: Ah. The Seven Noble Cyclones Training Ground story?
Soun: Yes. They didn't seem that noble, though. They seemed
rather small, actually.
Genma: The brochure was in German. Maybe it was the Seven
Tolerable Cyclones. Doesn't matter. The brochures never say
anything worth reading anyways.
[Ranma pours water on Genma. Instant Panda]
Ranma: (mockingly) You don't suppose that if you read a certain
Jusenkyo Brochure correctly, we might have a few less problems?
Genma-panda: [sign] The brochures _almost_ never say anything
worth reading.
Ranma: By chance...did the tornadoes look small because you
were, say, far away.
[Genma and Soun think for a moment]
Soun: Well...you know..
Genma-panda: [sign] Maybe. Just maybe.
Soun: They looked puny enough from a mile away......
Genma-panda: [sign] Right.
Ranma: [points at Genma] And I heard you enter the room.
[Genma responds by wittily eating bamboo shoots]
Akane: Look!
(They all look up and there out from the opening. There is a
giant twister about 200 yards away)
Ranma: It's here!
(The wind starts picking up stronger than ever...they all have to cover
there ears because of the noise)
Ranma: We gotta get out of here!!!
(Genma stands and makes a mad dash out of the dojo with Soun.
They are thrown through the air)
[Ranma starts quivering in fear. He tries to do some very odd
sort of kick, but fails. Ryouga tries to do the same sort of
kick, and succeeds. The tornado slows down. Ryouga repeats
the technique, which text doesn't fully do justice to. This
time he shouts "Hibiki Falling Hurricane Kick!". The tornado
slows to a gentle breeze, depositing its occupants onto the
ground. The house, mysteriously enough, is back to its
normal, undamaged condition]
Ranma: (grabs Ryouga) How'd you do that? That was the
Anything Goes Rising Tornado Kick.
Ryouga: No it wasn't. The Falling Hurricane technique has
been in my family for generations.
Ranma: How can it be in your family for generations? The
training ground is thousands of miles away from your family.
Ryouga: Well, my great-great-grandfather found the place on
the way to a picnic once. The technique has been with us ever
since.
Ranma: Pop, you told me that this had been in the Anything
Goes school for generations.
Genma: [sign] Well...generation.
Ryouga: (to Genma) You would steal the time-honoured Hibiki
techniques?
Genma: [sign] I didn't see a copyright.
Ranma: It was probably in the brochure.
[Genma smacks Ranma over the head with the sign. Genma and
Ranma start fighting. The fight drifts over to outside the
house. Why? So that the panda can dunk Ranma in the
fishpond. This is mandatory. Must happen at least once every
three episodes. If Ranma was smart, he would have moved the
fish into an aquarium and filled in the pond. However, since
the Pointless Gender Change is the main hook of the series...]
Ryouga: [sigh] First my lunch, then my love, and now my
techniques. [screaming] What of mine will he take next.
Kasumi: [pulls out a tray of food. Miraculously, neither
Soun, Ranma nor Genma grab it.] I could help you with the lunch bit.
Akane: And I could help you with your tech...
Nabiki: (Interrupting) And I could help you with your
techniques.
Akane: I didn't think you knew martial arts.
Nabiki: You can't help but pick up a few things around here.
[Ryouga stands there in a *very* uncomfortable silence. Akane
is entirely oblivious to this. Akane thinks about what Ryouga
says for a moment]
Akane: (angrily) That's just like Ranma to get between you and
Ukyou.
Ryouga: (puzzled) What about Ukyou?
Akane: Oh. Then between you and Shampoo.
Ryouga: No....Ranma's other fiance.
Akane: (surprised) You mean?
[Ryouga nods..]
Akane: How long has this been going on?
Ryouga: Ever since we've known each other.
Akane: And all this time I never knew?
Ryouga: I...I was afraid to tell you.
Akane: You have told her, haven't you?
Ryouga: Her?
Akane: Kodachi. Right?
[The screen splits into three shots. One of Ryouga blasting
the entire building to rubble, the second of Ryouga
collapsing, and the third of Ryouga breaking down and crying.
He knows that he can't do any of this. The screen goes back
to a regular sort of shot. Ryouga grabs a cookie from
Kasumi's plate because there's nothing else that he can do.
The view changes to the outside of the house. It doesn't
explode. It doesn't collapse. It remains there, standing,
but one shingle falls off of the roof, hitting the ground and
shattering into millions of pieces.]
Akane: Don't worry. I'll help you win her back.
Ryouga: But I...
Akane: No excuses. If you had faced up and told her how you
felt, you would have never had this problem.
[Another shingle falls off of the roof and shatters, similar
to the first one]
Akane: I'll think up some sort of plan.
Nabiki: Want help?
Akane: Sure. All the help we can get.
Nabiki: Good. 15,000 yen and you've got a deal.
Akane: Tornado damage would have been about 200,000 yen. Way
I see it, help out and you only owe Ryouga 185,000.
Nabiki: I didn't agree to pay that.
[Ryouga sits around, watching the sisters use him as a
bargaining chip]
Akane: Would you prefer if he let the house be blown down
because you didn't agree to pay.
Nabiki: All right. I'll help you.
Akane: Good.
Nabiki: Reminds me. I'm missing a book of mine, entitled "101
Fun Ways to Manipulate People". Have you seen it?
Akane: Nope.
Nabiki: I don't believe you.
Akane: Nope. Haven't seen it.
Nabiki: Maybe you can borrow it when I find it. You could use
help on number 57, "Lying".
Akane: "Lying" is number 58.
Nabiki: Hah!
Akane: (looks around nervously) Just a guess. Honest.
Nabiki: Keep the book until you've gotten better at chapter
32. "Weaseling Out Of Situations".
[Nabiki hands Akane a folded piece of paper and leaves]
Akane: Maybe she's gotten nicer [looks at paper]
[Show paper:
(in red)
200,000 Yen Credit: Dojo Maintenance
(in black)
10,000 Yen Library Services
20,000 Yen General Plotting
30,000 Yen Family Discount
-------------------
140,000 Yen Credit Total]
Akane: (glowering) She *charged* me for the family discount?!
Kasumi: (smiling) Well, at least you're getting a
discount....whether or not you wind up paying more for it.
Soun: Well, ain't she the vampire of mixed blessings.
Ryouga: I didn't hear you come in.
Soun: Oh. Ok [Soun walks out to do Soun things. Ranma can
be heard screaming "I heard you enter that room, Tendo!".
Genma takes advantage of this and pounds him into the ground]
[Cut scenes. Next morning. Ryouga, Nabiki and Akane are
sitting around a table and plotting. Genma and Soun are
playing shogi in the background. Genma points at something.
Soun looks. Genma grabs two of Soun's pieces and eats them]
Nabiki: Their games don't seem to drag on so long, now that
Kasumi started baking chocolate-flavoured shogi pieces.
[Akane pulls out map of the Kunou estate and traces a path
through to Kodachi's Training Gym.]
Akane: What do you think of the idea?
Nabiki: Depends...Ryouga..is your health insurance paid up?
Ryouga: I think it is..(catches the drift of Nabiki's comment)
Oh. So you reccomend against it?
Nabiki: If I wanted to kill you, I would send you out on a
mission like this.
Ryouga: I don't want to do this.
Akane: You _ought_ to. You can't just give up on Kodachi
like this.
Ryouga: But I don't..
Akane: No excuses.
[Genma moves a piece. Soun points at something. Genma
looks. Soun takes the shogi board and replaces it with a
checkerboard. Soun moves a piece and jumps three of Genma's
checkers. Genma moves a piece onto the back row. Genma pulls
out a sign that says "King Me". Soun grabs the sign from him]
Soun: You aren't a panda.
Genma: Sorry. Force of habit.
[Ranma runs by and, for no particular reason, dumps a bucket
of water on Genma. Genma grabs the sign from Soun. While
grappling for the sign, Genma replaces the board with a
Battleship set-up. Genma flips the sign over to reveal that
it now says "B 3"]
Soun: (crying) You sunk my battleship!
Genma: Give up, Tendo?
Soun: Never, Saotome! C 5!
Nabiki: Well, the main problem with this plan is that everyone
will be trying to kill you.
Akane: Kunou won't,
Nabiki: Right. That isn't much better. I could try to get
him to help.
Ryouga: I don't want to do this.
Akane: It's ok. Don't feel nervous.
Ryouga: I'm not nervous.
Akane: You can admit to being nervous. This is a big thing.
Ryouga: I don't want to do this.
Akane: See. You're nervous. Why would Kunou help?
Nabiki: He has a vested interest in this. Trying to keep
Ranma away from his sister, you know.
Akane: But didn't he want to get Ranma with Kodachi?
Nabiki: Kunou-chan works in strange ways.
Akane: I'll help also.
Nabiki: But Kodachi wants to kill you.
Akane: Oh...Who else could help?
Ryouga: I don't need your help.
Akane: If you didn't need our help, you would have told her by
now. We need to help you get in and to make sure that you
don't chicken out.
Nabiki: Well, Ranma would only make things worse. Father and
Saotome are too busy in their game of..
[Soun points at something. Genma looks. Soun removes the
Battleship setup, and instantly gives himself and Genma five
cards and a number of poker chips. The panda is now wearing a
green visor.]
Genma: [Sign] Raise five.
Soun: Match and raise ten more.
Nabiki: their game of poker to help. Kasumi is out shopping.
Anyone outside of the family is too big a risk. Except for...
[Soun and Genma show their hands. Soun has a full house, aces
and threes. Genma has three aces.]
Genma: [sign] Why are there five aces in this deck?
Soun: I don't know...isn't that Happosai behind you?
[Genma turns and looks. Soun instantly replaces the cards and
chips with a Sorry board.]
Soun: I'm gonna make you sorry!
Genma: [sign] Hmm?
Soun: And take that ridiculous thing off of your head.
[Genma sheepishly removes the visor.]
Nabiki: We'll leave later this afternoon.
Akane: Ok.
Ryouga: I don't want to do this.
Akane: Ryouga, I can't let you just ignore your feelings like
this. I care about you. It would just break my heart if you
didn't go through with this.
[Genma grabs the Sorry board and throws it out the window. He
replaces it with a Twister mat.]
Soun: Hey. I saw that!
Genma: [sign] Oh..sorry...umm...something behind you?
Soun: Oh. Ok.
[Cut scenes. Later that day.. Nabiki, Ryouga, Gosunkugi and
an oddly shaped lamppost are outside the gates of the Kunou
estate.]
Gosunkugi: Why'd you bring me along on this crazy thing?
Nabiki: Because I enjoy blackmailing people. You're basically
going to sit around and try to look useful.
Ryouga: Are you sure that that's wise?
Nabiki: Hmm?
Ryouga: Bringing someone along just to watch him squirm?
Nabiki: Never failed me before. Anyways, Tatewaki is letting
us in. We don't need to do this like a secret mission.
Ryouga: Then why did you come along?
Nabiki: Because if we didn't, you'd chicken out or get lost
along the way.
Gosunkugi: I don't want to do this.
Nabiki: Don't you start that. One person whining about not
wanting to do this is bad enough, you know.
Gosunkugi: Just incidentally, does _anyone_ really want to do
this?
Nabiki: That isn't important. What's important is that we go
through with this.
Gosunkugi: Oh. Ok.
Ryouga: Ok. What's the plan now?
Nabiki: Ring the doorbell.
Ryouga: Then what?
Nabiki: Wait for someone to answer.
Ryouga: Didn't we try that already?
Nabiki: Yes. Only this time, you doesn't run off screaming.
Ryouga: That was the part that I liked most, though.
Nabiki: Running away doesn't get you any closer to Kodachi.
Ryouga: That's why it's my favourite part.
[Gosunkugi calls Nabiki aside]
Gosunkugi: It sounds like he genuinely doesn't like her.
Nabiki: Nonsense. He's just trying to avoid it.
Gosunkugi: Are you *sure*?
Nabiki: You should see Ranma when we try to get him to ask
Akane out.
Gosunkugi: Are you sure that Ranma likes Akane?
Nabiki: Well, it seems that way.
Gosunkugi: It doesn't seem that way between Ryouga and Kodachi.
Nabiki: So what if it doesn't. Then she'll say no, and he
won't care. You get paid either way.
Gosunkugi: I'm not doing this for the money, it's just
Nabiki: Ok. If you don't want to be paid that's fine.
Gosunkugi: I want to be paid. It's just that that's not my only
reason.
Nabiki: What is your other reason?
Gosunkugi: If I tell you, you'll just blackmail me with it.
Nabiki: I'll find out and blackmail you with it anyways.
Gosunkugi: Well, at least I'll make you pull favours to find
out about it.
Nabiki: Then I'll just have to blackmail you for more when I
find out your little secret.
Gosunkugi: You can't do that!
Nabiki: (calmly) Why not?
Gosunkugi: Because...because.
Nabiki: (deadpan) Ah. This is a flat-rate blackmail item?
Gosunkugi: Try anything and I'll hex you.
Nabiki: You haven't succeeded at hexing me before.
Gosunkugi: But this time I mean it. Last time, it was just to
frighten you into selling me those pictures of Akane at
half-price. This time, though, I am serious.
Nabiki: Sorry. Just trying to get back what I'm losing on
this mission.
Gosunkugi: Well don't take that out on me. I'm on your side
here. And from what I've heard, you'll need all the help you
can get.
[They return to the group]
Ryouga: [sigh] So we do the same thing again?
[Nabiki nods]
Ryouga: How long do we have to keep doing this?
Nabiki: Until you ask her.
Ryouga: Oh. I was afraid of that.
Nabiki: Ryouga?
Ryouga: Yes?
Nabiki: I bet Ranma would be brave enough to talk to Kodachi.
I always figured you were the brave one. I guess not.
Ryouga: I'll show you who's brave.
================================================================
Gosunkugi: That's a new one on me.
Nabiki: Servant answers door, Ryouga runs screaming to
the...gymnasium.
Gosunkugi: Shouldn't we help him?
Nabiki: I suppose so. Gosunkugi, see how he's doing.
Gosunkugi: No.
Nabiki: Why not.
Gosunkugi: Kodachi might be in there.
Nabiki: Frightened of Kodachi?
Gosunkugi: Yes.
Nabiki: She can't be that bad.
[Gosunkugi look at Nabiki funny]
Gosunkugi: Yes she can.
Nabiki: Well, Ranma was probably exagerating a bit when he
told me about her...
Gosunkugi: He wasn't.
Nabiki: How do you..
Gosubkugi: You don't want to know.
Nabiki: Yes I do.
Gosunkugi: You know that thing I'm not telling you about? The
reason why I don't want to do this?
Nabiki: Yes.
Gosunkugi: That's what.
Nabiki: (thought) This mission is falling apart. I ought to
be able to pull this off. This is just a simple matter of
getting someone somewhere. Instead, I'm losing control over
my agent and I've lost my client. I should have just stayed
at home and had a hot bath.
=====================================
[Ryouga and Kodachi are in Kodachi's training gymnasium.
There is a hole in the wall and some wall fragments on Ryouga.]
Kodachi: You ruined my gymnasium.
Ryouga: Sorry. I didn't mean to walk through your wall.
Honest.
Kodachi: The wall, I can forgive. You interrupted my training
routine. For that, you shall suffer. (maniacal laugh)
Ryouga: Would it help if I apologized?
Kodachi: No. [Kodachi grabs a hoop from the floor]
Ryouga: Is there any way I can make it up to you?
Kodachi: No. [Kodachi throws the hoop. Ryouga blocks with
his umbrella.]
Ryouga: I've said that I don't want to fight you, right?
[dodges ribbon]
Kodachi: Yes.
Ryouga: Just making sure. [takes a step backwards, trying to
find a door. He doesn't. A flying pin hits him on the head.]
Kodachi: Fight back. [tosses ball. He ducks.]
Ryouga: I'm not here to fight you.
Kodachi: We've been through that before. I still don't care
why you're here. This is beginning to get boring. Unless you
start fighting back, I'm going to have to start thinking of
something else to do. Something even more painful. Got it?
[swings steel bar at him. He blocks with umbrella. He tries
to back up even more, but there's a wall. This doesn't stop
him and he soon winds up covered with even more wall
fragments, and in the family study/barbershop. Principal
Kunou is there, surrounded by several pamphlets on the
Phillipines.]
Principal: Hello. Are you from the travel agency?
Ryouga: Huh?
Principal: They said they'd send someone over with pamphlets
on Hawaii. Said I already had all of their Hawaii pamphlets,
so they gave me some information on the Phillipines.
Ryouga: I don't know what you're talking about.
[Kodachi catches him from behind with a ribbon]
Principal: Hello, Kotchi. Who is this fellow you've brought in
here?
Kodachi: I didn't bring him in. He just sort of stormed in.
Principal: No need to hide him from your dear old dad. He
seems like a nice kid, but his hair's too long. Come to think
of it, so's yours. If you're not busy..[picks up scissors]
Kodachi: Actually, we were just leaving, right?
Ryouga: [nods dumbly]
Kodachi: Right we were on our way out, actually. Weren't we.
Ryouga: Umm..we...I..
Kodachi: He means yes. [glares at Ryouga] Don't you?
[Ryouga nods]
Principal: Ok. Have a good time, you two. I'll send Sasuke
out to escort you.
Kodachi: What?!
Principal: (to Kodachi) Anyone with hair that long must be
some kind of ruffian. I just don't want to see you get hurt.
Kodachi:....
Principal: Just humour your father.
Kodachi:....
Principal: Besides, you don't have a choice.
===================================================
[Ryouga and Kodachi are walking down a typical Tokyo street.
Sasuke follow behind, not really trying to sneak around, but
just sort of trying not to make himself too obvious, and
trying not to annoy Kodachi too much. Ryouga and Kodachi look
vaguely disinterestedly at each other.]
Kodachi: (whispered to Ryouga) Death is too good for you.
Ryouga: I didn't want to do this.
[Kodachi give him a we've-been-through-this-and-I-still-don't
-care-what-you-think look]
Ryouga: I'm sorry. I can leave now if you want.
Kodachi: (glares evilly. Very evilly) I don't like this.
But I don't like being stood up either. I don't think I could
ever live that down. And I don't think you could live it down
either. Got it?
[Ryouga gulps audibly]
===========================================
[Kodachi and Ryouga are walking down a typical Nerima street.
Neither of them look particularly happy. Sasuke is following
behind. He would be sneaky, but they both know that he's
there, so he's just sort of skulking behind and hoping not to
get hurt by either of them. About 20 feet (or 9 meters, your
choice) behind them are Nabiki and Gosunkugi, who are
following Kodachi and Ryouga.]
Kodachi: Now, I suppose that you'll treat me to a movie?
Ryouga: I hadn't thought about it, really, I'll [she glares at
him] I'll treat you to a movie.
Kodachi: That's so nice of you
--------------------------
Gosunkugi: Why are we following them?
Nabiki: Just to make sure that this goes well.
Gosunkugi: This is Kodachi on a date with someone. We both
know, in our hearts of hearts, that it isn't going to go well.
Nabiki: [thinks for a moment] True.
Gosunkugi: Isn't there something else that ought to be done?
Nabiki: Think of it like this: Something will go wrong, and we
get to watch. Free entertainment.
Gosunkugi: I don't see how anyone could stand watching their
lives for more than 50 minutes at a time.
Nabiki: 50 minutes?
Gosunkugi: Yeah.
Nabiki: Why 50 minutes.
Gosunkugi: Dunno. Just seemed like a good number.
Nabiki: Quick. There's Tatewaki. I'll keep him distracted
while you follow these two, okay?
Gosunkugi: [confusedly] Okay. I thought that he agreed to
help us though.
[Nabiki ignores Gosunkugi and grabs Kunou. The two of them
slip inside a small cafe]
Gosunkugi: If she thinks that I'm following them around, she's
crazy. [sits down on nearby bench.]
------------------------------------------
[Ryouga and Kodachi are walking down the street. Ryouga is a
fair distance from Kodachi. Not an "another three feet and I
can sneak away" distance, more of an "I'm with this person but
trying not to show it" distance. Sasuke lurks behind both of
them.]
Kodachi: Are you trying to avoid me?
Ryouga: Well, I thought that you...
Kodachi: It's bad enough being stuck out here with *you*. But
being reviled also...
Ryouga: Oh. Sorry. [takes a step towards her]
Kodachi: Get away from me. Why do you think that I want to be
seen with you?
Ryouga: You just said that..
Kodachi: Don't try to tell me what I said. If anyone we know
walks by, we do not even know each other. Is that clear.
Ryouga: Yes.
[Soun Tendo walks by]
Soun: Hello Ryouga. Hello Kodachi. Enjoying yourselves?
Ryouga: No.
Kodachi: [to Ryouga] Is the company of Kodachi Kunou not
sufficient to entertain you?
Ryouga: Oh. Yes. We're having a great time together.
[Kodachi glares at him as he says "together"]
Soun: Ah. Together. Soon you will wish to build a family.
If you wish to build something, then you must have bricks.
Here. Take some bricks. [hands a pile of bricks to Ryouga and
walks off]
Ryouga: ...
Kodachi: What was that all about!?
Ryouga: Well, I thought that...
Kodachi: I *still* don't care what you thought or how you feel
about this. And *what* are you doing with those bricks?
Ryouga: Mr. Tendo gave them to me. Said something about
building a family.
Kodachi: You want to build a family? Hah! My answer is no,
and there's nothing that you can do to change that.
Ryouga: I wasn't going to ask you.
Kodachi: I'm not good enough for you to ask?
Ryouga: (angry) No. You aren't. You're an evil, contrary
shrew who has done nothing but scream and try to kill me.
Kodachi: How dare you call Kodachi Kunou a shrew!
[pulls out an assortment of weapons that would make Mousse
gasp. Ryouga starts to run, but stops after a few feet, as he
hears Kodachi sobbing softly. He stops, turns around and
walks back to her.]
Ryouga: I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I'm not
trying to hurt you. Honest.
Kodachi: (sobbing) That's ok, I [hits Ryouga upside the head
with a club] Sucker. Now. Don't do anything like that
again. Understand.
Ryouga: (shouting) I have had enough of...
Kodachi: (not listening) Gos-chan?
Ryouga: (surprised) Wha?
[Scene pans to reveal that Kodachi is looking at Gosunkugi,
who is sitting on a nearby bench]
Gosunkugi: Oh no... [gets up. Runs. Kodachi pulls a ribbon
out of nowhere and twirls it at him. Without looking back,
Gosunkugi grabs a hammer and nail from his pocket, and nails
the ribbon to a nearby building.]
Kodachi: I see that you've improved, Hikaru. But the Black
Rose is not so easily overcome!
[Ryouga takes this as a cue, and starts running away from
Kodachi also. Gosunkugi hides. A few minutes later, we see
Gosunkugi in an alleyway. Kodachi is nearby, but doesn't see
him. Ryouga approaches him from the other side.]
Ryouga: What are you doing here?
Gosunkugi: I'm trying to escape from her.
Ryouga: Escape from her? Why?
Gosunkugi: You don't know why? [grins]
Ryouga: No, I don't.
Gosunkugi: Oh. Okay. [grins more] Well, Ryouga, here's your
chance to FIND OUT!
[Gosunkugi pushes Ryouga into Kodachi. Gosunkugi runs as fast
as he can in the opposite direction.]
Kodachi: Excuse me.
Ryouga: Yes?
Kodachi: Excuse me.
[Ryouga looks to see that his arms are wrapped around
Kodachi. He blushes and sheepishly removes them]
Ryouga: I didn't mean it like that. I can explain.
Kodachi: You've been saying that all night, you know.
Ryouga: I'm sorry.
Kodachi: You've been saying that all night also.
Ryouga: What do you suggest that I do, then?
Kodachi: Hmm. You could beg and grovel. No...that wouldn't
be very amusing. You could start by getting my ribbon.
Ryouga: Where is it?
Kodachi: Where Gos-chan left it, a block down the street.
(points direction)
Ryouga: Gos-chan?
Kodachi: I'm letting you off easy. Don't ruin it.
Ryouga: Ok. Which way was that ribbon again?
Kodachi: (sigh) That way (points again)
[Ryouga heads off in that direction and appears again behind
Kodachi]
Kodachi: How did you do that?
Ryouga: I just followed the directions that you gave me. I
didn't find the ribbon, though, so I got you this.
-----------------------------------------------------
[Gosunkugi is walking randomly through the city, not so much
in a direction, but in a general sense of "away from
Kodachi". Ranma jumps off of a rooftop and lands behind him]
Ranma: Where're you going?
Gosunkugi: I don't know. Away.
Ranma: Away from what?
Gosunkugi: [stops walking, turns around and grabs Ranma by the
shirt] Ever have a crazy ex-girlfriend?
Ranma: Several.
Gosunkugi: It's like that, ONLY WORSE! (starts shaking Ranma
vigorously, then turns and starts to run)
Ranma: Ahem.
Gosunkugi: WHAT?!
Ranma: (motions to Gosunkugi's hands. We see that Gosunkugi
neglected to put Ranma down before starting to run) That.
Gosunkugi: Oh. (nervous laugh) sorry.
Ranma: It's ok. If there's anything I can do to help, just
tell me.
[We hear Kodachi's laugh from not too far away]
Gosunkugi: Oh, as a matter of fact, there is something.
Ranma: What?
[Kodachi approaches]
Kodachi: Oh. Hello, Gos-chan.
Gosunkugi: (whispered to Ranma) You're my friend right?
Ranma: Not really.
Gosunkugi: Acquaintance?
Ranma: I barely know you.
Gosunkugi: Do you fail to loathe me?
Ranma: I guess.
Gosunkugi: Good enough. Then SAVE ME! (throws Ranma at
Kodachi. Gosunkugi runs like a man possessed.)
Kodachi: Hello, Ranma.
Ranma: Gos-chan?
Ryouga: You shouldn't ask people about things like that.
Ranma: I heard you enter, P-chan.
Kodachi: P-chan?
Ryouga: You shouldn't ask people about things like that.
Ranma: What are you two doing together?
Ryouga: That's none of your business, Ranma!
Kodachi: (glares at Ryouga) Don't want to tell anyone that
you're out with me?
Ryouga: Ok. We're together.
Ranma: You still haven't answered my question, pig-boy.
Ryouga: Don't call me that. Prepare to die, Ranma!
[starts to charge]
Kodachi: Don't do that.
[pan out to reveal that Kodachi is holding the back of
Ryouga's shirt and preventing him from moving. Ryouga calms
down.]
Ranma: (sarcastic) Figures. You two make a cute couple.
Ryouga: (trying to notice sarcasm, but failing miserably) Oh.
Really?
Kodachi: Ryouga! Who said that we were a couple!
[Ryouga calmly points to Ranma. Kodachi ignores this]
Kodachi: Ranma-darling! Wait! I still love you!
Ranma: Whatever. I got things to do. See you two around.
[He jumps away. Kodachi tries to snare him with her ribbon,
but notices that her ribbon is still gone, nailed to a wall
somewhere. Ranma leaps off into the distance.]
Kodachi: (sternly) *Where* is my ribbon?
Ryouga: I couldn't find it.
Kodachi: You failed.
Ryouga: Well, I kind of....yeah.
Kodachi: I didn't give you the option of failure.
[Sasuke finally decides to stop tailing them and walks down to
a nearby bar.]
Sasuke: (thought) If anyone asks, I'll just say that I was
hiding to well for them to see me.
Ryouga: (thought) She's gonna kill me. No doubt about it,
she's gonna try and kill me.
Kodachi: This time, I'll go with you, to be sure that you get
it right.
Ryouga: Oh. That's it? Ok. (laughs nervously)
Kodachi: Were you expecting me to do something else?
Ryouga: I figured that you'd start screaming and attack me.
(more nervous laughter)
Kodachi: That would be unseemly. I don't know *where* you'd
get the idea that I would do something like that.
=================================================
[Ok...that's all I've got so far. Some changes from the
previously posted version. The reason that I'm posting it now
is simple. I'm stuck. Trying to figure out what I could do
with the situation now and what Ryouga might've gotten
Kodachi. If you have any ideas, please email at
normal@grove.ufl.edu
Terrence "The Human Mellotron" Marks
with the help of the Entomorph