From:        Derek Sherman, doppleganger@usa.pipeline.com

On Sep 11, 1996 00:58:00, 'Travis Butler <tbutler@tfs.net>' wrote: 

And thus, Chapter 6 comes to a close - and Mihoshi is turned  
loose on an unsuspecting Romulan crew  ^_^  

Lyra: Well, *now* do you admit this was justified? 

Windir: <Looking as if he'd bit into a very large lemon> <<Yes, pun  
*intended.*>> Very well. I am forced to admit that it may indeed have  
been justified. Perhaps. 

Frito: Aw, don't be such a sore loser! 

Windir: I *still* believe that the introduction needs to flow more  
naturally from the story. 

You mean the introduction of the Romulans? Hmmm... I could work 
on that some (after all, this *is* a rough draft) 

Yes. I can't really point to any specific example, but the way the 
characters kept pointing out that they were going into the Neutral Zone 
and were running the risk of Romulan attack seemed to shout out that the 
Romulans were coming. You might want to tone that down a bit.

Lyra & Frito: <Sigh> 

[Editor's note: Sigh is right. Another one-paragraph quick comment turns  
into a C&C.]  

Any C&C is good C&C.... keep it coming! And thanks for taking the time... 

No problem. This way, I get better fics to read. :)



Travis Butler
(The Professor, formerly of Myth and Magick!, Lawrence, KS;
 tbutler@tfs.net, now from the Wandering Powerbook;
 <http://www.tfs.net/personal/tbutler/>;
 Mac page <http://www.tfs.net/business/tbutler/>)

...Cats are the proof of a higher purpose to the universe.