WARNING: This story contains frank and rather crude discussion 
of sexual promiscuity and other wrongful behavior.  Parts of it 
may be quite offensive.  You'd better not read it . . .


[LEMON] Ranma 1/2: A Real Man

by Doughboy


I couldn't believe what was happening.  Akane was standing at 
her bed, with her right foot on the floor and her left up on 
the mattress.  Already stripped down to her undies, she had 
unhooked her left stocking from the straps on her garter belt and 
was rolling it down her leg, slowly and seductively, like a 
model in a French TV commercial.  The picture was perfect, except 
for occasional wobbling on Akane's part, thanks to all the 
punch she had downed.

I should have thrown the punch bowl - no, the whole buffet - 
out the window as soon as I found out that Kodachi had crashed 
Ukyou's party.  Since I had arrived early and eaten my fill 
before Oyaji and Jiji could hog all the food, I was pretty much 
done munching out before the Black Rose showed up.  Anyway, 
whatever she doped the food up with had reduced everybody else 
to various states of hallucinogenic madness.

Ukyou had reverted to her boy-act, speaking in a low, gravelly 
voice, challenging all the guys in the room to tests of 
strength, and pinching Azusa's ass.  Mousse cowered in a 
corner, crying for his mother to come and make the monsters go 
away.  Ryouga crawled around on all fours, grunting and 
squealing and eating whatever spilled on the floor.  Shampoo 
lost her accent and spoke impeccable Japanese.  But Akane's 
reaction was by far the most surprising.

The drugs had turned my iinazuke into a nymphomaniac.  She 
flirted with all the guys at the party, blowing kisses and 
dancing dirty.  I decided to get her out of there as soon as 
she started doing a striptease for Kuno, who had been following 
me around much of the time, bowing and scraping and begging my 
forgiveness.  All the way home, Akane was putting her hands all 
over me and trying to kiss me.  "Baka!" I scolded.  "You're 
high as a kite!  It's Kodachi's shit talking.  You don't mean 
any of this!"  No, she protested, I love you, I want you, I'll 
be a kawaii wife for you . . . blah, blah, blah.

I wanted to do the upright and noble thing, but all Akane's 
attentions had Little Ranma standing at attention and somehow, 
he had convinced me to take Akane upstairs to her room.  My 
truest intention had been to make sure she fell asleep and to 
lock the windows and door so Akane couldn't sneak out to screw 
half of Nerima.  But when her dress fell to the floor, I 
immediately forgot everything that wasn't soft, curvy and 
standing in front of me.

When Akane finished taking removing her hose and garter, she 
reached around to unfasten her bra.  Against all my instincts, 
I reached out and stopped her.  "No Akane," I whispered. "We 
can't do this." 

She put her hand to my cheek.  Her big, beautiful eyes 
shimmered.  "Sweet Ranma.  Don't be nervous.  It's my first 
time, too."  A light breeze blew the through the window, 
parting the curtains and increasing the moonlight that shone on 
the two of us as we stood gazing into each other's eyes.

I burst out laughing.

FIRST TIME?!

************************************************

Of course, Akane wouldn't know that it wasn't MY first time, 
not by a long shot.  Hell, it wasn't even my first time in her 
bedroom: Nabiki had thought it would be a real rush to do it on 
Akane's bed once, and when I demurred, the crafty bitch pulled 
out a betacam cartridge of me and Hinako-sensei doing the nasty 
that day in detention (not one of my better performances, since 
the teacher was continuously draining my chi to maintain a body 
over the age of consent).

Thankfully I've been able to keep it from Akane for all this 
time, but I'm no virgin.  I've managed to get laid on a regular 
basis (not counting the cat-tongue period . . . and I DO mean 
PERIOD) since I came to Nerima.  And before that, I fucked 
girls all the way to China and back.  No, Akane, I've done it 
hundreds of times, and I'm really good at it, too.

Now, when I say that I'm a great lover, it's not because I'm a 
blustering, overconfident, macho jerk.  Well, I AM precisely 
that, but that's not why I consider myself the best lay a girl 
could hope for.  The reason I'm the shogun of the bedroom is 
this: I know EXACTLY what a chick wants.

My advantage comes from the fact that I've felt what girls 
feel.  I've had the luxury to experiment without humiliating 
myself or scaring or injuring any girls.

Before Oyaji dragged me to China, I was just like all the other 
jerks out there.  After all the cajoling, spending, beer, weed, 
or whatever it took to get a girl in the mood, I used to fumble 
my way through a scoring opportunity.  You know what I mean: 
squeezing her tits as if I were wringing the water from a 
sponge, sticking my finger in her as if I were picking my nose, 
and then expecting her to be turned on by all this nonsense.  
No wonder they always seemed so unready when I'd finally slip 
them the meat and so relieved when it was all over.  I can't 
believe those early girls put up with me.  I look around at the 
kids in my class now and I can't believe that the girls put up 
with the clumsy shit high school guys do to them at the end of 
a date.

For me, all that changed when I got boobs and a box of my own 
to play with, to "train" on.  Without embarassing myself, I was 
able to learn exactly where to touch and how often, how much 
pressure to apply and when, when slower is better than faster, 
and vice versa.  While Oyaji and I were trying to get out of 
China without being killed by Shampoo, I taught myself a 
hundred techniques for pleasing a woman.

Ironically, the first girl I had after I mastered these 
techniques was one who apparently felt no need to be pleasured 
at all.  A few nights after we moved in with the Tendos, I was 
up late sitting on the roof and doing some blow.  Coke always 
makes me horny, so I was sitting there wondering where in my 
new home town I could get some pussy.  I strolled around to the 
other side of the roof and noticed the light on in the 
kitchen.  I went back into the house to see who was up so late.

Standing outside the kitchen, I saw Kasumi making a whole lot 
of food (there was some kind of neighborhood festival the next 
day).  She wearing a very light house dress and, because she was 
between me and the brightest kitchen light, I could see her 
voluptuous silhouette through her clothes.  Driven by 
cocaine-inspired lust, I came up quietly behind her.  In a 
quick but smooth movement, I bent down to start kissing her 
neck, cupped my hands over her ample breasts, and pressed my 
erection against her pillowy ass.

As ever, Kasumi reacted calmly and sweetly.  "Maa! Ranma-kun, 
do you need some help?"

If I weren't coked up, her motherly manner probably would have 
made me instantly limp.  But the pocket samurai remained stiff 
as Kasumi took my hand and led me out of the kitchen and up to 
her room.  She sat me on her bed and piled up some pillows 
behind me, adjusting them until she was sure I was nice and 
comfy.  Then she knelt in front of me and proceeded to give me 
head like I've never had from any other girl.

It wasn't like Shampoo's blow jobs, which are extremely 
pleasurable, but very chaotic and sloppy, with a wild and 
bestial fervor.  Instead, Kasumi was so soft and gentle and had 
such precise timing, knowing exactly when to take me in her 
mouth and bob her head slowly up and down, when to work me from 
the outside with her skilled tongue and lips.  In other words, 
she brought to that blow job the same order, the same wholesome 
joy, and the same sense of duty that she applied to her 
housework.

After a few minutes of this royal treatment, I erupted like 
Krakatoa.  And I couldn't believe it: Kasumi swallowed every 
drop!  Despite the fact that I probably ejaculated about a 
pint, she wouldn't let a single spot get on my boxers or on her 
frilly sheets and house dress.

Naturally, I went back to Kasumi for more the following nights, 
with oneechan gladly blowing me whenver I came to her with a 
boner.  Soon, however, martial artist's sense of obligation 
(read: my macho ego) took charge and I decided that I had to 
give her as much as she gave me.  When I told her that I wanted 
to make love to her, Kasumi replied, "Ranma-kun, that's so 
sweet!"  Something didn't seem right, but I dove right in 
anyway.  We necked and petted for a while, with me "pilot 
testing" for the first time my new self-taught expertise in how 
to touch a girl, and then I went for the gusto.

What a terrible mistake.

It wasn't that she was a lousy lay, quite the opposite.  
Kasumi's hole was wet, warm, and inviting.  We moved well 
together and she held and kissed me lovingly.

Nor was it that my techniques failed.  Kasumi came several
times, moaning softly and melodically then making some quiet 
and absolutely kawaii little gasps as she climaxed.  

It was the look on her face.

When Kasumi was blowing me, she never looked me in the eye.  
And I just didn't pay attention to her face when we were engaged 
in foreplay.  But when we were coupling, we were finally face to 
face and I was freaked out by what I saw.  She stared up at me 
with her big brown eyes and her sweet little smile and an 
expression that was . . . well . . . mindless.  I mean, it was 
like the lights were on and nobody was home.  It was like 
screwing a mannequin or a kid's doll.

I almost lost my erection when I saw her joyfully oblivious 
expression, but I mustered up all my macho bravado, determined 
to finish the job.  I was gratified that Kasumi had so many 
orgasms.  My new skills were proven.  Mission accomplished.  But 
never again: that look on her face was a total turn-off.

But I still go to Kasumi for head now and then.  Since Ucchan 
and Nabiki never let me come in their mouths, and it's always 
tough to get Shampoo away from Mousse, it's always refreshing 
to come home to Kasumi's soft and gentle lips.

Now, Shampoo is far and away the most exciting lover I ever 
had.  I have no problem admitting that.  Now, don't get me 
wrong, I'm not in love with her, though I'd never tell her that 
(not as long as I want to keep taking cookies from her jar).  
But objectively, no girl I know is a wilder, more creative, 
more enthusiastic fuck than my Amazon dynamo.

I guess what's most appealing about Shampoo is that her body, 
in addition to being perfect in every way, seems to be one big 
erogeneous zone.  I mean, no matter what part of her body I 
rub, lick, or hump, she has a screaming multiple orgasm.  For 
example, Shampoo's the only one I've ever had or heard of who 
comes when she's fucked up the ass.  When I take a trip to the 
Outback, I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that the girl 
isn't going to get much pleasure out of it, unless I do a bunch 
of stuff to her tits and pussy with my hands.  In fact, it's 
likely that a girl will find anal sex uncomfortable or 
downright painful.  That's why I would never ask Ucchan to do 
it that way.  That's also why I sometimes like to buttfuck 
Nabiki (I know, I'm a bastard).

But Shampoo loves it!  She comes every time I do her anally, 
even if I don't do bonus manual stuff to her.  To Shampoo, 
there's no difference where I'm touching her.  As long as some 
part of woda airen is rubbing up against her, Shampoo will get 
off.  The girl once came while she was blowing me, for crying 
out loud.  I wasn't even touching her and she wasn't touching 
herself either.  But it only happened that one time, so I 
assume it was because of whichever secret Chinese potions she 
brought to the futon that day.

That's another great thing about Shampoo.  While her herbal 
shit and black magic and whatever causes me unending trouble, 
I'm all for it in the sexual arena.  There was the 
pineapple-flavored goo she put on her pussy one time.  That 
night, I ate Shampoo from midnight till dawn - stopping only 
once to smoke some opium with her - and when morning arrived, 
her cunt wasn't all sore and raw and neither were my lips.  And 
there was that powder she put in my sake.  It must have turned 
half the fluid in my body to semen, because I came about a 
dozen times that night.  I shot huge loads in her mouth, in 
both her holes, between her tits, in her hands.  Shampoo was 
soaked from head to toe.  I'm surprised she didn't transform.

You know what else turns me on?  When we're doing it, Shampoo 
starts to forget how to speak Japanese.  The more excited she 
gets, the more Mandarin (and regional dialect) she cries out.  
And she talks all through sex, in her rapid sing-song way, as 
if she were reciting the Nekohanten menu while she rides my 
pole.

I first did Shampoo as part of that harebrained "almost kill 
girl-Ranma" deal I worked out with her to protect Akane.  Even 
though I was scared shitless that cold water (as it usually 
does) would splash on me from some unexpected source, it was 
the best lay I had had to that point.  But it was also a costly 
lay.

Because Shampoo hates Akane so much, she insisted that we do it 
on the roof above Akane's room.  Scared that we would wake 
Akane (just as Kodachi did that time), I tricked Shampoo so 
that we were actually a few meters away from Akane's room.

Right above Nabiki's room.  Oops.

An expert in clandestine surveillance, Nabiki had her 
videocamera set up and recorded the whole one-hour fuck and 
suck session with Shampoo.  She confronted me with the evidence 
after Shampoo left for China, which was wise, since Shampoo 
would have had no reservations about killing Nabiki.

I was working out in the dojo when Nabiki approached me and 
informed me of the new addition to her private video 
collection.  The heartless bitch told me that it would cost 
dearly to keep the tape out of public circulation.  I pulled 
out my wallet and emptied its pitiful contents into her hand.  
She scowled at my measly financial resources and started 
listing all the services I would have to perform to gain
possession of the incriminating video.

Grimly, I agreed to threaten a bunch of nerds at Furinkan into 
doing all Nabiki's school work, to shake down some guys who 
were delinquent on their gambling debts to Nabiki, to pose for 
some outrageous pictures that she would trade for the contents 
of the Kunou family vault, etc., etc.  "Can I go now?"  I 
moaned.

Nabiki didn't respond.  I had been working out wearing only a 
pair of shorts, and she was staring at me with a look I've seen 
lots of times before.  I knew what was coming.  After watching 
even a few minutes of that video, Nabiki would have to be gay 
or dead not to want a sample of what she'd seen.  "Ranma," she 
ordered, "you will come to my room tonight after everyone else 
is asleep."

I smiled inwardly.  I would have fucked her anyway, 
eventually.  Let her think she was blackmailing me.

It was a little after midnight when I tapped on Nabiki's 
window.  She quietly opened it and backed away.  Her manner was 
surprising to me, I had never seen her so hesitant.  The look 
in her eyes reminded me of wht I see in the faces of my 
opponents when they realize how stupid it had been to challenge 
me.

Though she tried to laugh it off, it was clearly Nabiki's first 
time.  Well, I'd busted plenty of cherries before, but this was 
the first time I'd performed the service for an older woman.  I 
guess that's only fitting since I lost my virginity to a 10th 
grader back when I was in junior high.  (Her parents were out of 
town, and she invited me over to initiate me in the ways of the 
flesh.  It was OK, although there was a scary moment when her 
little brother walked in on us.  I hid under the covers and she 
told him to get lost, not realizing the long-term implications 
of her command.  I'm pretty sure that he saw my face, and, 
though he's repressed the memory, that Ryouga will always hate 
me for poking his sister.)

Anyway, Nabiki tried to fake a confident and haughty demeanor, 
but the second I started unbuttoning her blouse I could see her 
start to tighten up and to tremble slightly.  With that 
inauspicious beginning, the event was a disaster.  Nabiki 
couldn't loosen up no matter how much I worked on her, so it 
really hurt when I entered her.  Neither of us came, we got 
dressed in silence, and I thought that was the end of that.

But Nabiki apparently decided that "doing it right" was a 
matter of pride.  About a week later, she challenged me to do 
it with her again.  I said sure, figuring this time I'd waste 
no time getting down to business.  I planned to give her the 
old wham-bam-arigato-ma'am and be on my merry way.  Little did 
I know that she had spent the week doing a lot of intensive
research and talking to expensive consultants.

She took me to a love hotel in Tokyo.  The night started out 
with a primo blow job.  Before I could ask Nabiki how she'd 
suddenly developed such a great technique, she was demanding 
that I go down on her.  While I was eating her out, she did 
this cool back arching and writhing around stuff, reminding me 
of all the aerobics and yoga she does.  She displayed more 
gymnastic ability when we got down to business, wrapping her 
legs around me in all sorts of amazing ways.  In the end, 
Nabiki was astride me with her knees off the bed and her head 
thrown back, supporting most of her weight on her arms, her 
hands on my knees, when I spurted up like a garden hose inside 
her.  Afterward, we laughed about how much things had improved 
since the first time.

Since then, we've knocked boots occasionally, whenever we were 
alone in the house.  A favorite of ours is to do it in the 
bath.  Nabiki has gotten pretty good at sex.  I think she's laid 
a lot of best looking guys at Furinkan, probably blackmailing 
them the way she first got me.

Unlike screwing Shampoo and Nabiki, sex with Ukyou is pretty 
dull.  First of all, it took me almost six months to coax Ukyou 
into the sack, even though she has her own place, for crying 
out loud.  Objectively speaking, Ukyou wasn't worth the 
effort.  I mean, she's real pretty and has a nice athletic 
body, but . . .  

Though Ukyou always responds to my overtures enthusiastically, 
she never initiates sex.  A guy likes to be seduced once in a 
while, you know?  One time I had Nabiki give her a talk about 
lingerie and seduction and all that stuff.  For about two 
weeks, the sex with Ukyou perked up a little.  We even sneaked 
off to a hot spring together and took a late night dip with all 
the trimmings.  But soon after that, Ukyou swerved back into 
her boring groove.

Away from her grill, Ukyou's not creative or adventurous at 
all.  We pretty much stick to the the two basic positions (she 
thinks doggy style is degrading or something).  Sometimes it 
seems like giving a blow job is a major chore for her.  She 
likes getting head, but is a little grossed out when I try to 
kiss her on the lips after bringing her off with my mouth, 
apparently disgusted by her own fucking juices.

Ukyou is 17 years old and already stuck in a rut sexually.

But I really don't mind.  I like just being with Ukyou, lying 
there, talking about all the things I can't talk to anyone else 
about.  Though I wish she was more exciting in bed, I treasure 
my time alone with her.  I . . . I love Ucchan.  Alot.

But I'm pretty sure I won't marry her.  There's someone else, 
you know . . .

***************************************************

"What's so funny?"  Akane asked, still smiling but confused and 
disappointed that I had apparently ruined the mood. 

"Anoo . .  ."  I stalled, trying to formulate a believable 
lie.  "It's just funny that we spend all our time arguing and 
fighting, and yet here we are getting ready to . . . well, you 
know."

"Then you WILL . . . ?"  She looked up at me hopefully.  It 
was the moment I had been waiting for since we first came to 
Nerima so long ago.  This was the situation I had fantasized 
about all those times I hid on the ceiling and watched Akane 
secretly.  This was my dream come true.

"No," I replied gently, not believing that I was actually 
refusing her.  "We have to wait.  I never get a chance to tell 
you and I'm usually too stupid to show it, but . . . I love 
you, Akane."

My confession shocked Akane into sobriety.  Tears welled up in 
her eyes.  "Ra . . . Ranma," she choked.  "Do you really?"

I put my hands on her shoulders.  "Yes, really.  I love you.  I 
would fight the whole world for you.  You make the whole world 
light up for me when you smile, and when you cry, well, there's 
nothing that makes me feel worse.  I live for the day when it's 
just you and me, together in _our_ dojo . . . I want to marry 
you."

"Oh Ranma!"  Akane crumbled, sobbing into my chest.  "I love 
you too!"

I held her for a long time as she cried and hugged me tightly.  
As her sobs subsided, she sniffed and looked up at me again.  
After a moment, I lowered my lips to hers.  The kiss was 
feathery soft, yet bracing and intense.  It was a revelation.  
We both knew at that moment we were made to be together, that 
we were husband and wife before we were even born.

Eventually, I broke the kiss and stepped away.  Suddenly aware 
of her near-nudity, Akane blushed and put on her robe 
hurriedly.  Never breaking eye contact, I headed for the door 
and gave my iinazuke a little grin.  She returned a smile so 
beautiful and loving that I almost ran back to kiss her again.  
"Arigato, Ranma," she whispered.  "You're right.  We should 
wait until we're married."

Well, I never said THAT.  Anyway, I winked at her, opened the 
door, stepped out, then closed it behind me.

And let out a long and heavy breath.  I still couldn't believe 
what I had done: the right thing.  I was filled with pride and 
the sense that I had finally grown up and was worthy of calling 
myself a man.  Lost in my self-congratulatory reverie, I 
wandered down the hall.  Before I realized what I was doing, I 
was at Kasumi's door.

I was still hard from Akane's come-ons and had come to 
oneechan's room out of habit, seeking instant, sweet relief.  
Just as I was about to turn the doorknob, I stopped.

No more. 

I'm a real man now.

I went to my room, undressed, and hit the floor. Just before I 
fell asleep, a taunt echoed in my head:

Just you wait, Akane.  The honeymoon is gonna blow you away.

***************************************************

It could have been worse.  I could have put Kodachi in.

dough1001@aol.com