At 04:16 AM 9/8/96 +1000, you wrote:

On Fri, 6 Sep 1996, George Mori wrote:

At 02:14 PM 9/6/96 +1000, you wrote:

{Part explaining Nabiki cut.}

A valid enough view, it's just not really shown at all in "Facades".

      I'm planning to go into it more in the Sequel, facades Part 2.
(Original Title Eh?) I probably could've (shuold've) gone into it a bit
more, assumed too much.

[snip]

        Well, true, but read the above explanation. She's slowly gone to
this low to keep getting money from Kuno. It's a bit of a dulling conscience
thing. First time you do somthing wrong, you feel REALLY guilty, each
consecutive time you do it it becomes easier and easier. Either way the
pictures were not easier for Nabiki.

Why??... For the Nabiki shown in the Manga to go this road, she would 
need money so badly she would have to forgoe the pleasure of manipulating 
money out of Kunou for services not worth what she charges, which seems 
to be half the reason she does it to me.

      Well, she DOES need the money, it's her addiction. She tries to get it
almost anyway she can whatever the cost. She does this well, but can't help
feeling guilty about it. More should be explained in part 2.
[Picture taking stuff snip]

In your story she went to the hide, snapped the photo's and trotted off 
to sell them.  The first sign of remorse she shows is during the sale.  
You don't really convey the attitude you want in the story.

        Actually she comments on getting 'lower and lower' when she's about
to leave for school. 

[snip]

        I hope I explained the stimuli earlier on, so that's why she sold
them. She felt really guilty afterwards. She had abandoned her morals. And
the realization of that was one of the reasons she ran away from home. 

Ah... in my opinion the stimuli for taking and selling the photo's is 
simply never really shown in this fic.  There's no sign that Nabiki needs 
the money or that Kunou is demanding more "revealling" pictures for his 
Yen.  Nabiki seems to simply take the pictures and sell them because 
that's what she does.

     Stimuli was more to be shown in the sequel. I thought I had done a bit
of explanation, in p1, guess not.
[snip]

If anything you portray Nabiki as emotionally unstable.  

         Good. She would be at by the end of the story.
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