Good news:
The style was good, with amazing descriptions that jumped out of the 
computer screen.  The emotions were usually done well, with Akane's 
feeling of violation done particularly well.

Bad news:
1. Characterization.  Nabiki would probably not sell a naked picture of 
Akane to Kuno.  Kuno would probably not buy a naked picture of Akane from 
Nabiki.  Nabiki does have a few scruples.  Kuno would not wish to soil 
his visions of pure and lovely Akane by even looking at the picture, let 
alone buying it.  Unfortunately, since the 'fic revolves around the 
use of said picture (and what it does to Nabiki), this is a major problem 
for the story.

2. Language.  The foul language used in the 'fic was not only out of 
character for the characters, but was excessive and distracting from the 
overall story.  There are two English words that I avoid like the plague 
when writing 'fics, and those words were used excessively here. 

Anyone seen Sailor Critic around here?  

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Nicholas Leifker, aka "Nightelf"
nwl9354@tam2000.tamu.edu
"Pronouns are so _difficult_ with these characters..."
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