"Geez, I'm getting tired of this," said Ranma.

"Hey, how did you do that?"

"Do what?" Ranma wondered.

"You did it again!"

"I did *what* again?!" wailed Ranma, annoyed.

"That... that stuff.  After talking, you know?"

"Oh, you mean this:" asked Ranma.  He laughed, "That's easy"  He
leaned forwards and whispered into Akane's ear.

"Oh," said Akane, surprised.  "It *is* easy.  I think I'll be
talking like this from now on."  She smiled at Ranma.  "Thanks."




Sorry, but the total lack of descriptive parts grated on me.  If
you're writing dialogue-only, the dialogue must be fitted to the
style and *take over* the part of the descriptions.  That's a bit
clunky, like in radio plays, but it definitely works better than
just leaving out the descriptions completely.

BTW, I did like your beginning;  It had quite some neat ideas - I
won't be taking part in the round robin scheme, though.


Sebastian
-- 
       <http://enterprise.mathematik.uni-essen.de/~bastian/>
                         Comics reviewed 
-- 
It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean
it is.  If you don't, it's its.  Then too, it's hers.  It isn't
her's.  It isn't our's either.  It's ours, and likewise yours and
        - Oxford University Press, Edpress News
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