A lot needs to be resolved in this 'fic.
A. Who is the father? Of course, if you think about it, Ranma could be
both...(SLAP!)...sorry.
B. The Ukyou-Kodachi relationship doesn't fit there. It sticks out like
a sore thumb. Work it in after settling the first bit entirely, i.e.
Ranma's giving birth and all that. Suggestion: Invite the couple over
to dinner after the workout, where their tale is told to the children.
C. Make the descriptions a little more alive. Right now, they seem
rather stale.
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Nicholas Leifker, aka "Nightelf"
nwl9354@tam2000.tamu.edu
"Pronouns are so _difficult_ with these characters..."
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