On Aug 30, 1996 23:11:08, '"Bryan K. Ogawa" <bkogawa@primenet.com>' wrote: 
 

Bryan's C&C Boilerplate -- Short Form      Changed: August 23, 1996 

If you send a reply to this message to the list, please send a copy to 
<bkogawa@primenet.com>.  Comments on my comments are welcome. 

If you want people (like me) to comment on your story, comment by 
private email only, or send you a carbon copy of comments, please put a 
note to that effect in your messages. 

 
Hadn't thought of that.... I could change the final drafts to include 
a little blurb to that effect at the beginning of each chapter 
 

If I missed your story, you have comments or questions on this 
boilerplate, or you want me to NOT comment on your story, please email. 

Last, but not least, I encourage YOU to comment on stories! 

 
I've been trying, but most people make the same observations I've been 
wanting to before I can.... guess I gotta learn to read faster  ^_^ 
 

	     -- The secret words are BEGIN COMMENTARY -- 


First off, I liked reading this -- it's fun to read, and progressing at 
spectacular pace (what... you're doing a chapter every 3 to 5 days, or 
less?)  How far is this going to go?  (I'm just curious.) 

 
The Star Trek section? I'm not really sure... I have a rough idea 
what I want to get done before Mihoshi and co. manage to find a way 
out of that dimension.... not to say that they'll make it home 
right away. Might be a stop or two on the way  ^_^ 
 
As to the pace, I have been cranking out a chapter every 
1-2 days (closer to 1) since I had a lot of time on my hands 
this past week. I'm starting school this coming week, so 
the pace might slow up a bit, depending on how boring 
my classes are ... 
 

I think the Tenchi characterizations (Mihoshi, and especially Sasami) are 
well done.  Since they're among my favorite Tenchi chars, I think that 
it's just fine (the only other person I'd like to see is Kiyone (is that 
the third guess as to the person responsible for the ionization?)). 

 
Fourth, actually, right behind Mihoshi herself, Washu, and Q... have to 
wait for the next chapter for the answer to that one  ^_^ 
 

On with the comments. 

On Fri, 30 Aug 1996, Derek Sherman wrote: 

  "So they're not of this dimension?" Worf grumbled. "That would explain

many things."  
  "Still sore, Lieutenant?" Riker dead-panned. He turned to Councillor  
Troi. "Deanna, have you sensed anything more from them?"  

I like this interplay, although I think I thought that Riker was a little 
too sarcastic (just a little).  That's not directed at this passage in 
particular, just in general. 

 
Riker was the hardest ST character to write... I have a hard time 
deciding how he would react to events.  
 
[snip] 

I think you have a good ear to the voices of all of the characters -- at 
least, it's similar to what I think the characters would say. :) 

 
Having watched enough ST, I hope I get them right  ^_^ 
 

Beverly sighed and shook her head slowly. "There's no need to apolgize, 

Mihoshi. That med table was old and in need of replacing anyway."  
  "Are you sure?" Mihoshi asked, staring at the bits of optical  
conduit and electronic components poking out of the med table. "I  
mean, all I did was bump into it, and..."  

it fell into a million pieces??? :) 

 
It's what I call "Mihoshi's luck"... might sound better if she said 
"all I did was push this little button over here..." or something to 
that effect. 
 
[snip] 

  "Mihoshi?" Sasami asked, stepping up beside her. "What is it?"  
  "I... feel dizzy." Mihoshi muttered, and promptly fell over  
backwards.  
  "Is she *always* like this?" Beverly muttered.  
  Sasami looked at her and nodded. "Uh-huh."  

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! 

This is funny.  Really. 

 
I aim to please  ^_^ 
 
[snip] 

Hm.  I don't think of Mihoshi calling the coffee "excellent".  How 
about "... it makes really great coffee, by the way."  I dunno... maybe 
it's just predjudice. :) 

 
True... I'm not much of a coffee person myself. But I figured that 
Mihoshi might like it a lot, so.... oh well, tastes vary  ^_^ 
 

  Picard leaned to the side. "Councillor?"  

Should this be Counselor ? I dunno... 

 
Not sure... although I do believe I've been spelling that wrong... 
have to dig out a dictionary.  
 

ship," Mihoshi grimmaced, "they get so yucky sometimes. It's also  
good for getting those little dust rabbits out from under the-"  

grimaced ? 

 
D'OH! My English teachers will never forgive me.... 
 

Anyway, this is very funny stuff.  I like the fact that the characters 
seem not to be "modified" from their home worlds--they react about the way

they do in the "real world" (such as it is), just with very strange other 
folks. :) 

 
I've been trying hard to keep them from being "modified", as I think 
that adds to the basic humor of the entire situation. Especially 
the ST crew, trying to handle an invasion of anime characters... 
hmmmm.... could that be a potential fanfic idea?  ^_^ 
 

Keep it up!  I wanna see more! :) 

 
It's coming! It's coming! As fast as my little fingers can type, it's 
coming! 
 
Derek