(Previously:  Shampoo's latest plot to snare Ranma involves feeding him a 
potion to cure his fear of cats.  It seems to have worked, but Ranma's 
behavior is getting a bit odd.  In fact, he told Nabiki that he had no 
intention of ever marrying Shampoo--while holding Shampoo in cat form!)

Yup, I remember this! Cool, I was waiting for the 3rd part... On with my C&C.


	

	Nabiki took a deep breath.  "Anyways, I thought you might be in 
the market for some pictures."  She spread out a selection of snapshots 
of Shampoo, some quite risque.  Shampoo was surprised by those; not that 
she had much body modesty, but she didn't remember Nabiki being around to 
take them.
	"Hmm...these two."
	"400 yen, please."
	"But that's all I--done."

	
Heh, Good, shows Nabiki on her ever-present quest to gain more money.

An hour later, a cardboard box, some old rags, a ball of Kasumi's 
yarn and some squeaky toys had been turned into a comfortable-looking 
nest, with "Shampoo" crudely lettered on the side.
	"Maybe we should get you a litter box tomorrow, too."
	This is getting out of hand, decided Shampoo.  I'm not going to 
stay in cat form forever, you know.

Ahh, even the crusade to attain Ranma's hand in marraige has it's limits, Eh?
	


    >  Pet?  That's how he thinks of me?  Shampoo growled.
	
Ooh,  Major crime ;)


    >"Shampoo is so cute..." he murmured.
    >	Now this is more like it!
	>"I love cats...maybe Akane...cuter as a cat?...Don't want...get 

married...have my cats...Here, Akane, Shampoo, Ukyou...."
	Great.  Even in his dreams, he can't make up his mind.
	"All such pretty kitties...Forever and ever..." his voice faded 
off as he went deeper into sleep.

Powerful potion! I mean, now he likes Cat's more than girls? Remind me to stay 
away from sorcerer's and the like for a while. I'd also suggest that you use 
something to indicate thought's. It doesn't cause any problems here, but if 
your ever writing and everyone is talking, you'll need a way to distinguish 
between thoughts and spoked words.
	



  >  "Slow down, Shampoo.  I can't understand you."

	"Shampoo thank Akane.  Must go!"  She pulled open the door and 
ran out.  She paused at her bicycle only long enough to pull on a pair of 
trousers from the clothing bundle, then hopped on and pedaled for dear life.
	In the pre-dawn light, the newspaper boy got a glimpse of topless 
cyclist, though it was blurry enough that he couldn't be absolutely sure.

I like the way that this entire scene was handled. When I initially began 
reading this I expected Shampoo to end up mangled and used as a wall trophy in 
Akane's room. Well, maybe she was actually in a good mood ;)
	

Shampoo crashed through the wall of the Nekohanten, waking 
Mousse.  His weapons came snaking towards her, and she barely evaded them.
	"Halt, intruder!  Show yourself, or--"
	<Mousse, you idiot!  It's me!>
	<Oh, Shampoo, you've returned!  Did that beast Saotome injure 
you?>  He flipped on his glasses.  <Whoa mama!>

Hah! I expect some comedy relief coming my way...

	Shampoo sucker-punched him.  

Heh, cool. Beating up Mousse is always fun for the whole family!

<Great-Grandmother, are you up?>
	<Yes, dear, though I could have done with a bit more beauty 
sleep.  Oh my, you didn't chicken out halfway through, did you?> asked 
Cologne, as she noted Shampoo's state of undress.
	<Not exactly.  Ranma wants me now, but not the right way.>  

You got that right. He always seems to want the wrong thing these days.
            



   >         <But after 48 hours, it wears off?>

	<No, after that time, the effects become irreversible.  And 
judging by how strong you made the potion, the groom will become totally 
obsessed by cats, especially your cursed form since he imprinted on it, 
to the exclusion of all else, including sex and food.>
	<That's not good, is it?>
	<From our perspective, no, although he'll be deleriously happy 
right up until he starves to death, provided there's a cat in the vicinity.>
	<*gulp*  So I should give him the antidote right away, huh?>
	<There is no antidote.>
	<But-->
	<The effect can be reversed by-->

I know a few people that are like that with cats. They continuosly brush their 
hair, feed them better than they feed themselves, ETC. PLEASE say your not 
going to give Ranma this humiliation!

	<Transform!  Quickly!>
	"Where is my Shampoo?  Tell me or I'll--"  Ranma was glowing.  A 
buildup of ki like that could be very dangerous.

	

Hmm, maybe more descriptions here. Show JUST how powerful he was becoming and 
that he has the power to mangle everyone in sight if he doesn't see his cute 
little kitty! Maybe mention the colors. (blue would be my fav' but that sacred 
color is reserved for good guy/bad guy battles!) Man I'm sounding a lot like 
my Acting teacher...

     "Now if I can just convince Akane to take a dip in the Nekoiichaun..."
	Forgive me, husband, she thought, as she bit his nose, then 
clawed his arm.

	
Again we reach a point where it would be easier to have a thought indicator 
rather than saying 'she thought'.

  <More or less.  But I am very impressed by how far you got on 
your own.  A little more training, and we'll have that wedding yet!  Now 
see if you can revive Mousse.  There are repairs to be done.>

Heh, the comedy relief is also useful for performing household chores!

	A bit later, Shampoo sat by the restaurant window, feeling blue.  
Ranma ran by, pursued by opponents.
	"Hey, Saotome, check out my cat-apult!"
	"Want to go sailing in my new boat?  It's a cat-amaran!"
	"Yaagh!"
	"I think he's gone cat-atonic!  Hahaha!"
	She tried to comfort herself.  Obviously, the potion had messed 
up Ranma's mind worse than she'd thought.  How he'd thought of her cat 
form must be how he thought of her human form when he was normal.  He 
just couldn't show it because Akane would beat on him even worse.  Yes, 
that had to be it.

Are you trying to say that he is completely scared of her or that he now 
adores her like his 'precious kitty'? If he now likes her I would like to know 
how she figured this out from the scene that she had just watched.
 

 	The voices faded.  Shampoo sighed.
	"Excuse me, but can you direct me to the Tendou Dojo?"
	Ryouga was standing in the doorway.
	"Nihao, Ryouga.  Come in, Shampoo bring ramen."
	"But I have to get--"
	"Ryouga and Shampoo have more in common than you think."
	"um..."
	She brought out food.
	"Ryouga tired just being pet to Akane, yes?  Shampoo maybe 
have plan..."

Good ending! Leaves it open for a sequal! Now you owe us a debt, I consider 
this ending a promise that you will now do a fic where Shampoo tries to help 
Ryouga get Akane! (well maybe not a promise but a good idea and you must write 
it! ;)

			
		

SKJAM!
"Little did I realize that morning as I unlocked my post office box that 
I would shortly by transported to the Takahashiverse, where I would 
defeat Ranma in martial arts combat, bag all three Tendou sisters, and 
gain godlike powers before supper..." from _Confessions of a Modest Otaku_

Hah! Send me this Confessions if you have it handy. Seems like something I 
would like to read.