Subject: Re: C & C on "Crow 1/2"
From: Neil Reynolds
Date: 8/28/1996, 2:05 AM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

   I don't know how helpful my criticism is, but here are what I 
perceived as blemishes to the good story I enjoyed tonight.

1) in Ranma's death-battle with the realtors at the beginning, it read as 
if all of the bad guys were down, except one, and that he and Ranma took 
each other out. Even with Ranma (or more importantly because of Ranma) 
died then, I'd have expected Souun to disarm them, and nabiki calling the 
cops and an ambulance. some more explanation for how the killers got away 
would help

2) I would have expected some police investigation for Ranma's death at 
least in the background, and some police protectors guarding the dojo, or 
an explanation why.

c) when the last pair of badguys stopped at the office, and found the 
corpse, I would have expected Ranma to strike once there, instead of 
giving them time to get to the dojo.

	"I've never been good at indexing."   -- George Carlin --

4) I like the dialogues with the crow, but the last one between it and 
akane confused me. I never saw the movie, but what dead did Akane strike 
with the crow? Did the crow just gift Ranma with a new life? Or is their 
new child affianced to princess Kurama of the karasutengu?

						Neil Reynolds