Warning: You are about to read an old fasion type melodrama story, with
Ranma 1/2 charaters playing the typical sterotypes of a melodrama. The plots
, story, and such should be reconisable by all but Kuno. You have been warned.
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          Ranma Of The Mounties.
          A Fanfic by Stanley R. "Quartzite" Teriaca.
          Be afraid. Be verry afraid.

          Disclamer: All charaters coppyright Takahashi Rumoko/ Shogakuan
Inc./ Kitty/ Fuji TV/ Viz Comunications. Used without premition. Since I
receve no money for this, please do not send Bruno and Akira to break my legs.
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     [Ninja-types just put the finishing touches on a set, which apears to be
a victorean era room, in a victoren era mansion. Thay remove themselves from
the set, and Kasumi walks in. She is wearing a fancy white dress, an blue
apron, and a white hair bow, but basicly she is still reconisable as Kasumi.
She goes to the fierplace (which acualy works), and pulls out a hot poker.
Then she walks to a vase on a table.]

Kasumi: Oh my. It looks like one of us will have to pick some new wild
flowers. Theas are dead.

[Nabiki walks in, also wearing a white dress, similer, but not exactly like,
Kasumi's.]

Nabiki: Sorrie, sis. I have to go to my company store to check up on my
finances. And with father furtraping for the weekend, that only leaves Akane.

Akane (off stage): Why do I have to do it? I hate flowers.

Kasumi: Because I have to prepair dinner. Besides, you know father's friend
will send a mountie to check up on us, so we *will* have company.

Akane (still off stage): And why do I have to wear this stupid hairstyle?

Nabiki: Because you look so kawai in spirals. Besides, I hear that mounties
are realy hansome.

Akane (still off stage): Like I care!

[Kasumi walks off stage]

Nabiki (picks up a newspaper, and reads it): Acording to this artical in the
newspaper, master crimimal Tatewaki Kuno is still at large.

Akane (of corse, still off stage): OW! Watch it with the hot poker, sis.

Kasumi (off stage also): Sorie. Are you allright?

Akane (from off stage): Im OK. But you almost burned me.

Nabiki: So, what do you think, sis?

[Akane walks onto the stage. Basicly, she looks like she does before the "hair
cut", except she is also in a white dress and hairbow. Well, also her hair is
done in spiral cuirls. Kasumi follows.]

Akane: About what?

Nabiki: The newspaper artical on master crimimal Tatewaki Kuno.

Kasumi: Who?

Akane: Sorie sis, but I wasen't paying atention.

Kasumi (handing a basket to Akane): Hear you go. And try not to bring home
many weeds this time.

Akane: Realy, now. I *do* know the difrence between a flower and a weed. Im
going. (walks off set. Sound SF: Door slams).

Nabiki (grabs a parasol and a notebook): Im off to check on the books. I just
love being part owner of a gold mine. And I love the company store ideal. Ill
be back before dinner. (leaves set. Sound SF: Door closes).

Kasumi: Oh my! I beleve I left a pot boiling on the stove. (walks off stage).

     [Again, ninja-types rearange the set. This time, its a mountie office.
Genma walks in, dressed like a mountie (YES, he is in his human form). He
takes a seat at a desk. Then Ranma (Yes, boy-type) walks on, also wearing a
mointie uniform.]

Genma: Ranma, my boy, I've go a job for you. (hands Ranma a wanted poster) Get
this man.

Ranma: Geze, pop, you know Im still just a cadit.

Genma: You have been trained by myself. If I can train that Dudly DoSomthing
fellow, I can train my own son.

Ranma: Isen't Dudly the *worst* mountie ever?

Genma: Thats besides the point.

Ranam: Then why not have Dudly take on Takawaki Kuno?

Genam: Can't. He has been reasined to Fendwick's area.

Ranma (mumbling): Oh great.

Genma: And you can not go back untill you catch him.

Ranma: Or realy great.

Genma: Oh, by the way, could you check up on the daughters of a friend of
mine. He has gone furhunting for the weekend.

Ranma (sighs): I better do it. So, whair do I got to go?

Genma (handing Ranma another piece of paper): Hears the directions. And do not
get lost like cadit Ryoga.

Ranma: So, Ryoga is still missing. What else is new?

Genma: Nothing much. You better go now. You do not want to keep three beutiful
ladys waiting.

Ranma (leaving): If I have to.

Genma (geting up from his seat and foling Ranma out): Yes you do.

     [The ninja-types change the set again, this time to a field of wild
flowers. Akane walks on, then to the side. Folowing her is Kuno (who looks
like your typical melodrama villion, compleet with mustash) and Sasuki (who is
dressed similer to Kuno, but without mustash, cape, or top hat). Thay take
center stage.]

Kuno: Do you see her, Sasuki? The most beutiful flower in the field. And I
must make her mine.

Sasuki: And how are we going to do this, Master Kuno?

Kuno: Ill introduce myself and ask for a date, and...no. To long. Ill...no.
Not enouth time. I got it! Ill make a decroration stating all thoes who want
to go on a date with her *must* defeat her in combat.

Sasuki: Why don't we just aduct her and force her to wed you, Master Kuno?

Kuno: Be quiet, Sasuki. I am thinking. (long pause, then...) I got it! Why
don't we just aduct her and force her to wed myself?

Sasuki: Good plan, Master Kuno.

Kuno: Sasuki, the ropes.

Sasuki (checks his body): I left it in the buggie, Master Kuno.

Kuno: Go and get it, while I use some of my sisters Cloraform on my
hankerchief, go behind her, and knock her unconsess.

Sasuki (leaving): Master, your fake mustash is crooked.

(Kuno fixes his mustash, then aproches behind Akane with the Cloraform filled
hankerchief. Just as he is about to grab her, Akane bends to grab a flower,
while Kuno falls.)

Akane (standing up): Are you allright, sir?

Kuno (standing up): Im just fine. (places the hankerchief over Akane's mouth)
But you are not. (Akane falls unconsess, and Sasuki comes back with ropes)
Sasuki, quickly befor she revises. (Kuno grabs onto Akane's arms, while Sasuki
grabs her legs. Thay both leave the stage, caring Akane with them.)

     [Again, the ninja-types change the set. This time its back to the Tendo
Mansion.]

Nabiki (walks on stage): Hello sister. Is Akane back yet?

Kasumi (from off stage): No. She has been gone for two hours now.

Nabiki: Do you think anything bad could of happened to her?

Kasumi (steps on stage): She is proably just chasing a rabbit.

Nabiki: She is 16 years old, sis. She woulden't be chasing rabbits. She would
be chasing men.

Kasumi: Chasing men? You know as well as I how much of a tomboy she can be.

Nabiki: You would be surprised, sis. Is supper ready yet?

Kasumi: Just about. I hope Akane will not miss it. (Sound FX, knocking) Can
you answer the door, Nabiki?

(Nabiki goes off stage and answers the door. And more will be reveled in Part
2).