From:        raphael@asu.edu

On Mon, 26 Aug 1996, Travis Butler wrote:

Actually, that's probably the biggest problem I had with this part; one 
of the things we had drummed into us (at least where I went to j-school) 
was the need to be as fair and impartial as possible, and get as many 
sides to the story as possible. I don't see any of them, especially 
Noriko, try to do that. (For example, Noriko doesn't question Suzuki or 
Gos further about their story, nor does she try and find witnesses to 
what happened after they were knocked out.) 

   Ooorgh! That's the one thing I've been dreading about this fanfic: 
how to balance the objectivity of journalism with the maniacal vendetta 
that everyone in the Ranmaverse has against Ranma. I tried to get a good 
balance, but it apparently isn't enough. Unfortunately, I can't think of 
anything I can do about it since Noriko's blind fury is rather central to 
the plot.

Hmmm. I'm not sure blind fury is really necessary -- see below...

   Okay, I guess I'll have to tell you the whole story now to see if you 
can suggest a different (more journalistic) way of doing it.

SPOILER!

[Spoiler snipped]

END SPOILER

   Unfortunately, the entire story-arc here is based on the assumption 
that Noriko loses her head and acts quite un-journalisticly, which is the 
main problem people who have actually been involved in journalism have 
with this story (as you can easily tell, I've never been involved in any 
sort of journalistic publication whatsoever). 

Hmmm. If the main thing you're after is her reaction after the incident 
-- and not the specific details of the incident itself -- then here are 
some suggestions. I'm a bit nervous about trying to write the story for 
you ^_^, so I apologize in advance if any of these cross that line.

* Characterization change -- instead of putting Noriko in a blind fury, 
make her bitter and resentful. As you noted: 

   Actually, if you look at it, there isn't much else you can blame the 
paper situation on, other than Principal Kuno's pig-headedness. If Ranma 
wasn't at Furinkan, none of the disasters and property damage would ever 
transpire. Akane would continue to beat up the boys at school without 
breaking walls, Ryoga would never show up, Shampoo would never show up, 
Miss Hinako wouldn't need to come to Furinkan, etc. It really is (in an 
indirect way) Ranma's fault, although he certainly didn't mean for any of 
that to happen.

Because of this, it's still reasonable to conclude that Ranma's 
responsible, if you don't know the full circumstances. And there are ways 
of keeping Noriko from knowing the circumstances *and* still have her 
behave journalisticly. For example, I seriously doubt Ranma would be 
willing to explain his side of the story right off the bat, given how 
touchy he is -- especially if the interview is started in a 
confrontational tone, which all of the student journalists are 
inexperienced enough to do. You could even add a little jounalistic depth 
by having the student realize the mistake -- asks challenging question, 
Ranma reacts badly, student realizes goof too late. Ranma's friends would 
likely follow his lead, his weak enemies are going to be too scared to 
say anything, and his strong enemies are not going to be considered 
credible sources. Could you imagine a reporter accepting Kuno's standard 
views on Ranma? Or one of Ryoga's rants?

(You probably don't need to show this in detail if you don't want to, 
either; as long as it's brought out that she has made these checks, and 
come up empty, that should be enough.)

Given this, Noriko can go through these basic checks and still conclude 
that it's Ranma's fault; in fact, if just about everyone gives 'no 
comment' answers to her questions, it should make a good journalist 
suspicious that there's *something* going on here -- but without anyone 
going on the record, there's no proof and no grounds to publish anything. 
Thus, bitterness and resentment, and a motive to continue pushing, 
*without* the unthinking blind fury that seemed out of character for a 
journalist. Instead of seeing the events and automatically assuming the 
worst, she sees the events, checks them out, comes up empty, and then 
gets suspicious and starts drawing conclusions.

Then, when the attack comes, she's got something concrete she can act 
upon. And again, if she makes a good-faith effort to find out what 
happened (the main thing I thought was missing from part 2) and can't -- 
Gos and Suzuki haven't recovered their memories (as you noted), no 
witnesses have come forward -- then the journalistic conventions are 
satisfied, and she can rationalize publishing it. It could be another 
opportunity to add character depth, having Noriko debate this with 
herself: On the one hand, I don't have the full story; on the other, I've 
got indisputable facts that *did* happen, I could publish those and let 
the reader draw their own conclusions. Oooh, I really *want* to publish 
this...

And from that point on, you've got ideas on what to do, right?

(Ghu, I've gone all long-winded again, haven't I? <Sigh, sheepish look> 
Gomen.)

In short, I think your basic structure still works fine. The main 
differences would be that instead of acting in a devil-may-care blind 
fury, Noriko's making a good-faith effort to act in a journalistic 
fashion, and coming up with the wrong conclusions because the right 
people aren't talking. Her main failure would be in succumbing to 
temptation and printing something without all the facts, instead of 
printing in a blind fury without care for the facts.

probably hasn't taken full effect yet. <g> Seriously, I think Raphael 
does need to take this into account; possibly a discussion with the 
journalism teacher. 

   Well, I had that in store, but only after the fact. If the bomb is 
defused before its explosion, then much of the story is immediately 
removed. 

I didn't say when or how she had to do this, did I? :) Seriously, if she 
debated it herself and rationalized her attack, it would strick that much 
closer to home when she talks to the teacher, ne?

Or, I suppose I could ditch my original idea and try to come up 
with a more plausible one.    

Not needed. :)

I think the thing that bothered me the most was the way Noriko seemed so 
pig-headedly fixated on the One True Cause of the paper's problems. :) 
For someone as intelligent as she apparently is (I liked the bit at the 
beginning: "STOP SPREADING RUMORS" <g>), she's too unwilling to look for 
all the ramifications of the paper's situation -- once she found herself 
a not-quite-scapegoat in Ranma, she seemed satisfied to let it rest there 
without checking out the rest of the situation.

   Well, I tried to establish that Noriko already had a bias against 
martial artists and violence and nonesuch, being human and having the 
same prejudices and biases humans have (except, I suppose, good 
journalists...there I go again). 

Nope... journalists are human too. :) Well, most of us, anyway. ;> The 
difference is that a good journalist works to fight personal biases when 
reporting the news, to rise above personal opinions and give an objective 
presentation. The thing that bothered me about Noriko is that she didn't 
at least make the attempt to do this, to try and get all the facts on the 
story. If she makes the attempt and fails, then it's more reasonable to 
let her biases have some influence -- especially since, as you note 
below, she's young and inexperienced. And portraying this struggle can 
add depth to the character, as I noted above.

I guess I let the bias get 
too out of hand. I also tried to establish that Noriko is a very *young* 
editor-in-chief; while she certainly has the raw talent and ability to 
head a paper, she doesn't have all of the discernment and experience to 
sort feelings from facts (then again, if she didn't have enough 
experience, how did she ever get the position?...aaarrrghh. Got me again. 

No, not really -- after all, one doesn't expect a high school student to 
have professional skills, in *any* field: music; football, basketball, 
baseball, and other sports; drama... or journalism. :) There are the rare 
exceptions, like the high-school violinist who got invited to play with a 
professional orchestra, or like Ranma -- but that's exactly what they 
are: *rare exceptions*. You can't really expect Noriko to be a 
professional-level journalist while still in high school; what you can 
expect is for her to try to act like one, even if she doesn't achieve 
that level.

Maybe this story won't work at all, no matter what I do with it.).

No! That's *not* what I'm trying to say! :)

   So, in conclusion, I see and understand every complaint you have 
against the story so far. You're right: Noriko is being very bull-headed 
and un-journalistic, and the "Informer" isn't much like what a real 
school newspaper should be. 

Actually, leaving aside Noriko's bull-headedness, the "Informer" felt 
very much like a student newspaper, as I experienced one in college; I 
could imagine this taking place in the University Daily Kansan's newsroom 
very easily. 

Unfortunately, the story depends on these 
aspects for it to work, leaving me without many options. Any ideas? 

Hopefully the above will help. :) Basically, I think all that's needed is 
a re-focusing of Noriko's character -- instead of doing these things in 
an *unthinking* fury, have her make a good-faith effort to do things by 
the numbers, and have the results (or lack thereof) drive the plot, along 
with her struggle with her bias.

    And by the way, I'm not bitter or mad. I'm *glad* you pointed out 
these things to me, otherwise I might have cranked out a real stinker of 
a story, with little regard to fact or reality. Thanks for the comments; 
I just wish I could do something about them! 

<Sheepish look again> I just hope I wasn't *too* harsh. I like the basic 
idea a lot, and the only real problem I have is with Noriko's 
characterization -- and I've always thought that was fixable. Did these 
suggestions help at all?

Look for the next 
installment...well, maybe not for a long time now.

Ahem. <tap, tap, tap> I'm waiting... :)

Travis Butler
(The Professor, formerly of Myth and Magick!, Lawrence, KS;
 tbutler@tfs.net, now from the Wandering Powerbook;
 <http://www.tfs.net/personal/tbutler/>;
 Mac page <http://www.tfs.net/business/tbutler/>)

...Cats are the proof of a higher purpose to the universe.