Stormwalker <a0011387@airmail.net> posted:

                 Bubblegum Collision

  A Bubblegum Crisis fanfiction by Douglas A. Reeves

Part One : Head On!

You did a *very* good job with the revisions (IMO) -- Sylia in particular
seems much more in character than before.  Adding references to a doctor
diagnosing Nene's injury (rather than Sylia) works better for me as well.

About the only criticism I have on this part is the large number of typos

in

it.  Run it through a spell checker, and I think you're set.

So, when do we get to see the next part?

Soon and very soon.  *grin*   Thanks for the C&C, and I'll be sure to
spellcheck the next part.  (I got too excited about the work and just plain
forgot to do that)

I myself feel that this version is quite improved as well.  The changes will
be far more apparent as it goes on, as I will make efforts to tie up some
loose ends in the orignal (I didn't realize just how many there were until I
printed it up and read it.  Oh, dear.)

Jeanne Hedge
http://www.accsyst.com/jhedge/main.htm
                                 *   *   *
             "Man gives every reason for his conduct save one, 
                    every excuse for his crimes save one, 
                     every plea for his safety save one; 
                       and that one is his cowardice."

                               -- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

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Stormwalker <a0011387@airmail.net>         
"Chaos is a good thing."
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